Cooperation, PG-13, Leverage, Eliot/Parker/Hardison; a gift fic for a landcomm challenge


Eliot wasn't sure when it happened, when he stopped thinking of Parker as merely insane; he only knew the moment he acted on his new feelings towards her. She'd finished a bowl of cereal and he'd said, "Hey, you've got a bit of milk."

She'd touched the spot he was pointing to on his own lip. "Did I get it?"

Eliot leant in. "Let me look."

And then he was kissing her.

"I guess that's one way to make sure," Parker said when he drew back. Not quite the response he was hoping for, but she was still a little insane after all.

And then Hardison, who'd been decrypting something over at the laptop, stormed over and punched Eliot in the mouth.


"What happened to you"? Sophie asked.

"Nothing," Hardison mumbled. Eliot had returned the punch immediately, giving him a black eye.

"Was an accident," Eliot said stubbornly. Hardison's lucky hit had made his lip bleed.

"Eliot kissed me," Parker informed Sophie. She was sitting on the sofa between the two men. She'd kicked both of them, hard, in the shins to punish them for their ridiculous behaviour.

"I see." Sophie raised her eyebrows. "I'm not getting involved. Sort it out between yourselves. Use your words not your fists. And remember jealousy is not a particularly attractive quality in a man."

When Sophie had left the room, Hardison said reluctantly, "I'm sorry. I over-reacted."

"Yeah, well, I shouldn't have hit you back," Eliot said.

"There's no need for you to be jealous of me," Parker said. "I'm sure Eliot loves you."

It was a typical misunderstanding for Parker and a typical Eliot reaction to get angry and deny any feelings for Hardison. But Hardison went very quiet and looked at the floor.

"Hardison?" Eliot asked.

"I'm okay."

"No, you're not." Eliot looked at the ceiling. How to not hurt Hardison without leading him on? "I'm sorry. I'm just not gay."

Hardison lifted his head. "Neither am I. Not strictly. I just don't see why we have to be all into the labelling. I mean, do you only need one operating system, one web browser, one decryption program?"

Eliot shrugged.

"No," Hardison said. "There's variety. Variety is good."

"Are you saying you want to make out with me?" Eliot asked, trying to get his head around the concept.

"I want to make out with Parker," Hardison said. "I just don't mind if you want to make out with her at the same time. After that, we'll see how it goes. I'm open to opportunities is what I'm saying. And let's be honest, you're a very handsome man."

Eliot blinked a few times.

Parker stretched, languidly. "You are cute," she said. "Does that mean you're not making out with me anymore?"

"No. I think it means both of us want to," Eliot said.

"Threesome," Parker said with a grin. "Kinky. Okay, Shall I get undressed or does one of you want to do it for me?"

"Clothes stay on," Eliot said. "For now."

There was kissing while the other man fumbled for second base, and then a switch in the roles. Then Parker's blouse was unbuttoned by Eliot as delicately as if she were a fragile package he were unwrapping and Hardison took his t-shirt off. After that things took on a life on their own, so to speak.


"That was fun," Parker said.

"Yeah," Eliot said.

"We going to have to work on your communication skills," Hardison said. "That was amazing."

Sophie stood at the bedroom doorway, hands on her hips.

"When I said work it out between yourselves this wasn't what I had in mind."

"We used our words," Parker assured her, unconcerned at her nakedness. "A threesome takes more coordination than you might think. And cooperation."

"Umm, yeah, it was a real team building exercise," Hardison said, clearly embarrassed.

Sophie was momentarily speechless. "Just change the bedsheets," she said at last. "I'm sure Nate doesn't want to sleep in his bed after you three have defiled it." She walked away.

"Defiled? That's just nasty," Hardison mumbled. He put one hand out of the bed to search for his boxer shorts.

"She'll tell Nate anyway," Eliot said, sounding concerned.

"And? Not like he can fire us." Parker kissed Eliot and then leaned over to kiss Hardison. She'd decided balancing out the affection was the best way to stop further fist fights. She scrambled out of bed and began dressing quickly. "I'm going to go get and some cereal. Anyone else want some?"