a/n: featuring lyrics from Lana Del Rey

Hisana struggled to remain upright in the stranger's presence. It felt as if the air itself were pressing down on her. So it wasn't just a stranger standing before her but a Soul Reaper no less. How wonderful.

Byakuya noted how she barely had the energy to stand up and repressed his spiritual pressure. "Are you all right?" he asked, voice calm and quiet. He offered a hand to help the girl to her feet but she respectfully refused.

"I'm fine," she answered, speaking softly. She even gave a small sort of bow. "Thank you."

As she tentatively looked up at him, Byakuya was taken aback by how truly beautiful she was.

Hisana began to brush away the stubborn loose strand of dark hair that always seemed to fall right in front of her face but it was to no avail. She noticed Byakuya had not only remained where he stood but he was still looking at her as well, seeming fascinated by what she was doing. She gave a small, shy smile before continuing on her way.


I've made up my mind.

No need to think it over, if it's wrong then I am wrong. It's almost hilarious really. Despite everything they've tried to drill into my head, I still managed to find myself falling for someone who isn't my kind. Someone inappropriate.

I am going back to Rukongai today. I am going to find the girl with the soft smile.


Hisana found herself thinking about the Soul Reaper she'd seen the other day. She wandered about Rukongai aimlessly and thought about him seeing as there wasn't much else to do.

Well. There was always that. She could always try and look for her. It wasn't like she had a busy schedule that was preventing her from doing otherwise. She was doing nothing with her life.

She closed her eyes and exhaled as she gripped her arm so tightly that if her skin hadn't already been pale her knuckles would've turned white. Was that what she was going to do today then? Beat herself up for the millionth time for doing something she believed was so terrible she couldn't even talk about it?

No.

She opened her eyes and released her arm. She'd made a difficult decision in an awful situation so she had nothing to feel bad about. Right?

She sighed and found her thoughts turning back toward the Soul Reaper.

The Soul Reaper had neither acted nor looked the way she'd always expected one to be. There had been no wrinkled lip, no sneer of cold command. He had actually been quite handsome and polite.

She wondered what it was like living in the better part of Soul Society. It looked real nice but if you looked closely enough, was it all lies? She could only wonder.


My family tells me I should move on. I say loving this girl can't be wrong.

I've no fear that they might desert me. Truth be told, I am actually strangely comfortable with the idea of no longer being around them. I am tired of those people, tired of being caught up in their lives.


He can only hold her for so long. What's inside her never dies. The lights are on but no one's home. She's so vacant, her mind is taken. So he tries to pacify her. Even if she's content in his warmth, she is plagued with her illness. The moments of lucidity are diminishing with each passing day.


There's no remedy for memory, her face is like a melody; it won't leave my head. Her soul is haunting me and telling me that everything is fine but I wish I was dead. Dead, dead,dead. Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise.

All my family asks me why I stay strong. I tell them when you find true love it lives on.

Don't bother trying to find her in the world of the living, they say. She's not there.

She exists in my dreams. I don't like to wake up. There's no relief, I see her in my sleep telling me I'm fine. I can feel her touching me, there's no relief. I feel her in my dreams.