FordEscape211
Wind swept through the old castle through the open window, sending a chill down Scientior's spine. Of course, he knew that it was merely a physiological reaction to sudden external phenomena, but that didn't keep him from feeling any less cold. It was dead quiet, almost calm. Despite this, he knew that fate would not allow him a reprieve that easily.
DeathEvilSong
(Make a spot check.)
FordEscape221
(24.)
DeathEvilSong
As Scientior pondered the nature of…nature, a Skelebeast snuck up behind him and swiped him for 5 points of damage with his Bone Blade!
(Sorry, dude. Had to make a check of 27 or higher thanks to its enhanced cover. Auto-damage, roll for initiative.)
FordEscape221
Blast it all! How did he not see this coming from a mile away? Scientior stumbled forward, wheeling around to face his attacker, GraviGun at the ready.
(12.)
DeathEvilSong
(10. You go first.)
FordEscape221
Scientior fires his Dynamic Neutralizing Agent in an attempt to glue the Skelebeast's feet to the floor!
(20 plus five with my natural bonus.)
DeathEvilSong
(Skelebeasts neutralize natural bonuses, so…)
The Agent just barely misses the Skelebeast's feet, and he retaliates-after hopping over the agent-by stabbing at Scientior with his blade!
(17 plus three for close quarters combat. It gets past your AC, and you take three more points of damage.)
FordEscape221
(Now hold on a minute! Skelebeasts don't negate anything!)
DeathEvilSong
(Yeah, they do. 5th Edition, Page 310. Right there in vivid color. Deal with it.)
FordEscape221
(But that doesn't make any sense! It never had that ability in 2nd edition!)
DeathEvilSong
(That was 30 years ago, pal. Get with the times or get out of the thread.)
"Get with the times?! I was playing Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons before you were even born, you little-"
"Grunkle Ford?"
Stanford Pines nearly leapt out of his chair. He looked behind it and saw his nephew, Dipper, poking his head into the underground lab that (for the most part) Ford called home. He breathed a sigh of relief as he waved to the boy.
"Dipper, come on in! Sorry about that; didn't mean to frighten you."
Dipper walked in, stopping at his great uncle's chair as the man wheeled around to face him. "Who're you talking to? What's going on?"
Ford waved his hand in a dismissive fashion. "It's nothing important. I was just having some lively debate about DD&MD with somebody-" he explained, punctuating it with a glare at his laptop, "-who doesn't seem to understand that 2nd edition rules trump all other kinds. You know the type."
Dipper looked over at Ford's laptop. It definitely wasn't any kind of high-tech marvel, but he and his sister Mabel had convinced their Grunkle Stan(ley) to help pitch in for a half-decent one so that Ford wouldn't have to consistently use Dipper's to do his research into the mysteries of the town of Gravity Falls.
If Grunkle Stan found out it was being used to play a tabletop game, he'd hurl it out the door (and probably Ford along with it).
"Grunkle Ford, I know it's easy to get mad about things on the internet," Dipper began, having had his fair share of internet conflicts over even the minutest of situations. "But it's not worth getting stressed out over things when you're playing a game just for fun."
Ford threw up his hands in exasperation. "Dipper, it's not that simple! All these rule changes, edits, additions-it's all extraneous! The 2nd edition is the perfect balance of difficult and open gameplay, and thirty years trapped in-between dimensions doesn't change that! Dimensions 1-247, at the least, all use that edition! Why can't one kid?"
Dipper raised an eyebrow. "How do you know it's a kid?"
"Trust me, Dipper," Ford replied, gesturing with his thumb to the screen. "Anyone with a name like "DeathEvilSong" has to be younger than 20 at least."
"Actually, it might be a reference to-"
Ford shook his head. "Dipper, I appreciate the concern, but you grew up on the newer editions. You wouldn't understand what it's like to have the whole game change on you. I liked that…what did you call it? 4.2 Edition? Now that one wasn't a bad game to return to. It was a bit gaudy for my tastes, but it kept most of the core elements intact from 2. But this new 5th edition? It just throws everything good about 4.2-heck, everything before it-right out the window!"
Dipper shook his head. Yeah, he loved DD&MD, and he was really happy to share the hobby with Ford. However, where Dipper was more casual about it, Ford was downright obsessed. That led to no small share of trouble a week or so back when the two of them were captured by Probabilator the Annoying, a character from the game, when Ford just wouldn't let it go when Stan and Mabel wanted to watch Ducktective's season finale. That whole mess was part of why Stan, who would normally guard his money like a dragon to his horde, pitched in on the laptop-the less paper flooding the house, the better.
"Grunkle Ford, I get all of that, but in the end, DD&MD is something people play for fun. Sometimes people find more fun in newer versions than older, and not just with this one. Play along with how…DeathEvilSong?" Dipper visibly cringed at actually reading the dungeon master's name aloud. It sounded even worse than it read. "Ok, maybe you had a point about his age. But if you signed on to play with him, you've gotta play by his rules, for better or for worse. It's not worth making a big deal out of it."
Ford sighed. He turned his chair back around to the laptop. "You know, Dipper, maybe you're right. Maybe I should just-"He paused, seeing a flashing notification at the bottom of the window. The thread had a new post. This was promising! Maybe Deputon the Lawful finally managed to get online, or Tobias the Determined. He clicked the notification, and scowled as he saw another message from DeathEvilSong.
DeathEvilSong
(What's the matter, Scientior? You too butthurt to post after I shut you down?)
Ford glared at his screen in utter fury. "I'll show you 'butthurt', you snot-nosed brat!"
"Wait, what?" Dipper tried to look at the screen again, but Ford's frame blocked the view as he clicked and typed rapidly. "Grunkle Ford, what happened?"
"It seems my dungeon master's getting a little too much hot air pumped into his head, so I'm going to do him a favor and deflate that ego of his." Ford's typing slowed to a stop, and he clicked the mouse one last time. He picked up the laptop and showed the screen to Dipper. "What do you think?"
Dipper looked over the screen, seeing a poll box and a small post underneath it:
"It has come to my attention that some of our members have a distinct lack of appreciation for the origins and beginnings of DD&MD, specifically the fact that the 2nd edition is the pinnacle of the entire franchise. I would like to do a simple test to see if I'm mistaken in my beliefs or not, and that test has but one question: Is the 5th edition of DD&MD better or worse than the 2nd edition? Place your votes into the poll box above."
Dipper looked up at Ford, a hand on his hat in worry. "I'm not sure this is a good idea, Grunkle Ford. Forums like that are kind of volatile about this sort of thing. It's like asking if Space Fights is better than Space Flights. It's gonna get messy."
"Nonsense, Dipper!" Ford closed the laptop, patting it like one would a family pet's head. "For the most part, everyone on that forum seems very rational and very calm. I'm sure we'll just have some debating and eventually everyone coming to some kind of reasonable conclusion. Besides, it's just a poll! What's the worst that could happen?"
Dipper really didn't want to know the answer to that.
