I read Harry Potter fanfiction.

You see, it's my guilty addiction.

I read it at night

With naught but one light

To ease this growing affliction.

I generally ship Dramione

It's leather, libraries, and money.

A fantasy? Sure.

You needn't say more,

But you know you'd lick Draco's honey.

And if I am feeling like Cannon

I slip into Poison Rose Fannon

The sins of the father,

Who couldn't be hotter,

Are largely ignored from then on.

My only complaint to fic writers

Is Mary Sue sure is a fighter.

I tell her to leave,

She cannot conceive

That really, she's just some dumb blighter.

So I read Harry Potter fanfiction.

It truly is an addiction.

I wish I could cure it,

Or simply detour it,

But I honestly crave all that friction.

It soothes like a balm,

Distracts, keeps me calm,

And eases this mounting affliction.