Pain.

Hands pressing down on her wounds.

Ow, you ass. That hurts.

Blood.

"She's not gonna make it!"

Gunfire.

Run you stupid boy. They're coming.

"Stay with me Shiba!"

Its my fault. I deserve it. I lead you into an ambush.

"Taichou!"

It didn't hurt anymore. Everything was numb.

Her squad. She'll miss them.

I'm sorry.


Darkness.

Warm.

Safe.


Screaming.

Squeezing.

"Push!"

You've got to be fucking kidding me.


Shiba Chizuki was currently wrapped in soft blankets in the body of an infant, staring up at the ceiling of her new home. She wanted to scream and shove the middle finger up at the universe because this wasn't supposed to happen.

'You can sleep when you're dead' her reincarnated ass. She would always wonder what she did wrong in her past life to deserve this.

She was brought out of her musings when a face appeared in her vision. Her new mother cooed at her and picked her up. She was odd, but she was pretty. Her mother had long snow white hair, and deep blue eyes and her face was adorned with a loving smile as she was brought into her arms and given a cuddle.

Her hugs are nice.

The woman pointed at herself. "Kaa-chan." She then pointed at Chizuki. "Yurei."

And all the nice thoughts about the woman halted.

NO. My name is Chizuki.

A man had entered the room. Her father had short cropped platinum blonde hair, and ocean green eyes. He had a scar running across his face from his right cheek, across his nose, and down his left cheek. He wore a green flak jacket and a metal headband tied around his forehead.

He strode towards them with the grace of a of a cat, wrapping his arms around the both of them. "Shirohime, how is Yurei-chan?"

My name is not Yurei.

The woman smiled, "I think she likes her new name, Taiyo."

No I fucking don't.

"Really? That's great!"

Chizuki tried to morph her face into a frown, a sneer, something to show her displeasure, only to find that her face felt like she was injected with Botox (or what she assumed felt like Botox). Unable to move her facial muscles, she struggled to lift her arms from it's fluffy prison and slap the ass wipe in the face, something extremely hard to do with the motor control of a drunk sloth.

Her chubby arm was only able to wriggle itself out of the blankets and tap the man on the nose with a ridiculously squishy palm. Unfortunately for Chizuki, the man took this the wrong way, and his face broke out into a dopey smile.

He snatched Chizuki from the woman's arms, scurrying out of the way when the woman tried to get her back. In a childish act of defiance, the blonde man stuck out his tongue and blew her a raspberry.

"Did you see the way she patted my nose? She obviously likes me better!" He crowed, as the white haired woman chased him around the house.

"Taiyo! Give her back!"

What a bunch of morons.


It was around the first month when her emotions started to get to her. Spite, pettiness, anger, sadness, longing. Goddammit, she just wanted to go back to her squad. So of course, with the most irrational reasoning and finger pointing that she had ever made, she took it out on the man and the woman. (She refused to call them mother and father)

She wanted to drive them up the wall, push them to the brink of insanity, make them regret that they ever had her in he first place. Because it was their fault that she was here.

Regurgitation was common.

I'm not swallowing that bowl of crap.

("HA! See?! I'm not the only one that hates vegetables!"

"Say that again, and I'm shoving this down your throat.")

Wailing loudly and giving them sleepless nights was also pretty common.

What the fuck was that itch?

("I didn't know that chakra coils developed this early."

"Well, now you know.")

Hurling her toys at them was for stress relief.

I need catharsis.

("Do you see that accuracy?! That was from me!"

"I distinctly remember that I was the weapons expert here.")

She was even tempted to release her pitifully small bladder when their friends tried to pick her up, but her pride as a full grown woman forbade her to.

After the first month of trying to mentally scar them from ever having children again, she finally snapped.

And those accursed emotions came into play, making tears well up in her eyes despite her best attempts to will them away. Then the guilt hit her like an angry warthog, making wails erupt from her throat. These were just normal parents that wanted a normal child, and she was being the bitchiest dickhead in the known universe.

Oh hell.

"Having a bad day, eh, Yurei-chan?" The man chuckled. He picked her up and nuzzled her cheek. Chizuki's wailing dwindled down into sniffles.

I should really get my act together.

She'll do anything to make it up to them, her...parents. Because she finally accepted that she was never going back. She'll miss her squad, those stupidly lovable boys that were almost family.

With blurred vision (god dammit, I can't see through the tears) Yurei - not Chizuki anymore - wrapped pudgy her arms around what she thought was his neck, and gave him a tearful hug.

I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I'll make it up to you one day.


Yurei didn't know how many flies flew into her mouth when he took her out to the market. The village that she lived in was vaguely familiar. The 'Hokage Mountain' made Mount Rushmore look like some cheap rip off.

The people running across the roofs and defying gravity seemed normal according to her father's indifferent expression. She managed to eventually shut her slack jaw when he was approached by another 'shinobi'.

"Yo! Sakumo," He greeted the silver haired man. The man was also carrying a baby that curiously peeked over the shoulder of its father to stare at her.

What are you looking at?

The brat sniffed, and looked elsewhere.

Well, fuck you too.

The kid didn't seem to like her. She was fine with that. She didn't like him either.

"Hello Taiyo," the man named Sakumo said. "I see that you've finally decided to show yourself after knocking up Shirohime."

"I wasn't hiding, I was too busy taking photos of my beloved wife." Yurei could actually see her father doing something ridiculous as skipping work just to immortalize her mother's pregnant figure. "Speaking of which, this is my daughter Yurei."

He lifted her out of her sling and held her up like she was Simba and he was Rafiki. Yurei was shoved into Sakumo's face, her father beaming with pride. She rolled her eyes, making a 'V' sign, also shoving her small fingers into his face.

Her father had made her rehearse this before, as he wanted an awesome introduction of his daughter to the world. He cackled at the stunned look on Sakumo's face, before she was returned to her comfortable sling.

Sakumo chuckled, lifting his own son from his sling. Their introduction wasn't as cool as hers.

"This is Kakashi."

Sakumo was holding the brat to close to her for her liking. The kid wrinkled his nose at her, lifting an arm hidden in rolls of fat, and slammed his squishy palm into her face.

He dared...HE DARED?!

And this Kakashi kid became her number one enemy.


A year after finding out that the universe seemed to ignore the laws of physics and meeting her arch nemisis, Yurei found a mirror and spotted her reflection before nearly shitting a brick.

What the fuck is this shit?

She blinked and slapped herself with a pudgy hand, just to be sure. The reflection copied her.

Heterochromia Iridium.

White hair, pale skin, blue left eye, green right eye.

No wonder her parents named her 'Ghost'. Yurei looked as if she had walked out of a horror story and de-aged into a child.

Being an infant was incredibly boring, and perhaps she could use her creepy appearance to her advantage.

For the meantime, she was being babysat by a group of green 'genins' fresh out of the academy. Her mother had gone back on duty as a 'chunin' after her maternity leave, and her father was out on a mission, which left her home alone with three brats. The 'jonin' didn't even have the decency to stick around and supervise them.

Yurei absolutely loved the look of horror on their face when she went missing for a certain amount of time.

Payback's a bitch.

She would sneak off to her nooks and crannies that she had found, when she explored her house several months ago when she had gained the ability to crawl, then walk.

One moment she was sitting on the floor in front of the three genin lounging on the couch, the next minute she was hiding in the cupboard under the kitchen sink, watching them scramble about tearing the place down looking for her. Their jonin sensei walked into the room that very moment, and boy did he not look impressed. Ordering them to clean their mess up, he strode over to the cupboard, and plucked her up by the hem of her onesie. She let out a childish giggle.

I guess being a kid again has its perks.

She heard the little brats call her a 'Devil child' and a 'Demon baby'. They must have spread the word, because now she was the D-rank with horror levels on par with Tora the cat.

She stole real and very sharp kunai and shuriken, and was found playing with the sharp blades ("Who the hell gave her that?!"). She disappeared for several hours on end, and was found sleeping on the roof ("How the fuck did she get up there?"). There was one time when she just stared at the genin team with her mismatched eyes, unnerving them to the point of hysterics ("Dammit, stop looking at me!"). To sum it up, Yurei was a very naughty baby.

Several genin teams had left her house traumatised, and Yurei administered one particular team to the hospital on the verge of a heart attack, and unhealthy levels of high blood pressure.

Boredom was a very powerful thing.


AN: And the rewrite is up! Tell me what you think in a review.