God... Fucking damnit...

Fine! FINE! You got your damn sequel to 'Don't Be Nice!' Mother Fuckers! I caved in because I was so overjoyed with all the new shit Mom gave me for the start of school.

yiika95
2009-12-16 . chapter 1Ohh I loved it!

It made me rolling in the floor laughing xD

Really I thank you so much for making the sequel up

Lol! Glad you did C:

I like causing that reaction in people!

It's no problem!

Megan May
2009-12-16 . chapter 1i really love it

Thanks!

Reality Bores Me
2010-01-12 . chapter 1what the HELL!/!

that was good but still unnatural. and you are probably still going to have people ask for more.

like me. i want more, and i want honey to attack her in the pervey sense and she really should be put in a domitrix outfit with a whip or something. like for his birthday.

This wasn't what you wanted, but it was mostly based on your comment. Congratz! *throws confetti*

CakesInTheSummer
2010-01-31 . chapter 1Hahah!

i laughed so hard at this!

This is great!

Love it =D

So happy I could make you laugh J

XxStrawberryCheezecakeXx
2010-02-14 . chapter 1I love this fic! Perverted Hunny is so cute! :3

Are you going to write more?

Hehe, he sure is XD

And does this answer your question?

tinkerbell9211
2010-02-18 . chapter 1Ok I really love these little one shots with perverted Honey they're so original and cute. I think you should make this into a full story because there needs to be more unique stories like this.

Wow… That actually makes me feel good about myself… Thank you, but this will be a series of one shots, if nothing else. This story is fun to write, but a pain to finish. One-shots are good enough for me so… yeah.

Sarah Jackson - The Other
2010-03-25 . chapter 1may we please have some smut?

This is the closest you get so far XD SUCKAH!

dakota321
2010-06-03 . chapter 1this is so wierdly cute! . lol i always knew honey was a perv. cant wait for more!

Pff… It ain't cute no more XD

cleareyes25
2010-06-10 . chapter 1These stories are so funny/cute/weird! Could you please write more honeyxsuu stories?

Well… Here ya go

NamiMakimono
2010-07-19 . chapter 1Oh my god that was perfect!

I love that episode where Ciel's having to where the dress...

*holds back a nose bleed*

...especially when he's getting the corset put on...

LOLZ I know right?

"Ah! S-Sebastian…" CX So much love for it!

sage050699
2010-08-27 . chapter 1Disturbing.

Yerp

imginarygirl
2010-08-31 . chapter 1you should really think about making a series for these two. these are the best Hunny stories i've ever read! make a series! it'll be a hit!

Naw, I'll just stick to one-shot

And now for the comment that got me working tonight:

bleedingcrimson
Feb 01st, 10:45pm Please write more! I love the stories and have even recomended it to a couple friends that are really skeptical about fanfiction ("there's such thing as a good fanfiction! Mindblowing..." etc.) We really love the 'series' so please please keep wring them!

This… really touched me in a way… that has nothing to do with my sex organ. It makes my heart constrict to know that I made a small group of people like fan fiction. ME! A Shit-ass teen who is a complete pervert and an otaku and likes incest and all that other stuff most people cringe at! It really… Fuck… I'm gonna cry…

A-anyway… here you go... fuckers.

Kiss Me With Your Boot

His body was hot, throbbing, sweating under the tension the small body was forced to endure; wrists raw from the leather straps binding them high above his head, his legs left free to squirm. His eyes held the look of exhaustion, excitement, expectance, and, to break the 'ex' pattern, lust. His short, blond hair was matted from the hours of tossing his head, pressed to his forehead and messed from its usual smoothness. It would take twenty minutes to brush out, unlike the usual five. His body strained for release, the leather black tube top with burgundy crosses biting into his skin in an almost painful way, the thin piece of fabric tied together at the front with lace. The feather edge of the matching skirt tickled just above his thighs every time his lower half moved, his leather panties being flashed whenever he unintentionally moved in the wrong way, also earning the occasional rub in the right direction.

The 'clack… clack… clack…' heels on the cobblestone floor taunted the young man, his heavy breaths echoing in sync with the steps of the stiletto heeled goddess prowling around the table he was laid out on, drool dribbling down the side of his cheek.

"…Had enough?" she murmured, a finger gracing the expanse of uncovered skin that was his abdomen. He chocked, before he shook his head to the best of his ability. "Really now?" her tone held cruel amusement. "You've been like this for an hour… You want it that badly?" a muffled moan was the response the blond gave. "Ch." the woman tsked, before she stopped at the end of the table, the male finally being able to see her lilac eyes burning with disgust. "Persistent, aren't you?" the blond had nothing to give.

The bluenette flipped her hair out of the way, her eyes cold as she stared down at the shorter human being before her.

"…Fine," the male's eyes sparked, already knowing what was coming. "You disgust me," she began, her voice bland. "Your eyes, your smile, your face. It makes me sneer every time. Your voice is like a buzzing mosquito I can't wait to squash between my fingers. Sick little fuck. Putrid waste of air." the boy shuddered, his cry of ecstasy blocked off, as tears came to his eyes. Yes! Yes! Yes!

The woman idly looked away, as if bored of the other's presence.

"You're a pathetic pig that doesn't deserve to live. Your young appearance is a constant reminder of how you're a freak of nature. You shouldn't even look at me you vermin." the youth shook his head as if to convey his apologies, even as his eyes stayed on the woman's face. His knees were rubbing against each other, his thighs, in the process, managing to tease his growing problem. "Go die in a ditch. Get away from me. You're making me sick to my stomach. Pest. Loli-Shota. Jail Bait."

The blond kept making needy sounds, his hips bucking into the air in search for something solid to rub against.

"…Filthy." she hissed, looking head on at the elder again. "You get off on things that would make any normal person cry. Filthy little thing…" despite her words, she leaned closer to him, over him, until their faces were six inches away, her b-cup breasts pressing against her little red dress, a bare leg and thigh caressing his own. "What do you have to say for yourself?" all he could manage was a heavy lidded look and muffled gasps, drool making his cheeks shiny with the liquid. "…" she smirked. "You can't say much with that in your mouth, can you?" she snickered, reaching forward to yank at the strap of the ball gag in his mouth, making him gasp through said toy. "Might as well take it off, then shall we?"

Her hand effortlessly unclasped the device, yanking it from the other's lips, his head tilting back as he gasped, eyes wide as air was given back to him fully. The woman eyed the drenched gag, her eyes narrowing.

"Well?" the boy panted heavily. "What do you have to say?" after a moment of ominous silence, the male lifted his head up, his pupils dilated in pleasure.

"P-please-" he stuttered, his voice slightly horse. "P-punish me~"

A gasp wrenched its way out of the seventeen year-old's mouth, honey-gold eyes wide and dilated as they stared at the dark wall across from his bed. His chest was rising and falling, his night clothed drenched with sweat, and his whole body shaking. Slowly, his eyes moved down to the blankets he held so tightly in his grasp, gulping at the sight of the dark stain set there.

What… was that? Sure, he liked being insulted by the bluenette, yeah. But… but…

'BDSM?' he thought, his face flushing. 'I-I'm not that bad- I mean, Tama-chan is, but-' he closed his eyes tightly, the image of the girl in his dream flashing before his eyes, her gaze harsh, cruel, demanding. He gasped again, snapping his eyes open. This was bad. Very bad. He never thought his enjoyment of being spat at-metaphorically(Oh God, don't imagine that!)- would involve into… this.

He tried to reassure himself as he slipped out of bed to get a new pair of bottoms, his old ones soiled with his orgasm, that it was just a guy thing. Dreaming of something that wasn't really something you wanted, just something that related to another thing you heard. Haninozuka Mitsukuni really tried to convince himself that obvious, stupid lie.

+8+8+*+8+8+

His head was planted in his Host Table the next day during their first of many breaks, having been kept up by the misleading dream that decided to torment him over and over and over again, leaving him with one bottom pair of pajamas left in his drawer back at home. His vision was blurred as he tried to force himself awake. Which was a fruitless endeavor.

A little ways away from the senior, the rest of the Host Club stood, staring in confusion at the other.

"What's wrong with Honey-senpai?" Fujioka Haruhi questioned. "He's really…"

"He looks incredibly exhausted." Ootori Kyouya filled in, his glasses covering his expression.

"Did he have trouble sleeping?" Suoh Tamaki questioned, looking up at Mori Takashi to receive a faint, 'Ah'.

"Aww, poor thing…" the twins, Hitachiin Kaoru and Hikaru cooed in worry. "Maybe he had a bad dream that Suu-chan was acting nice again?"

"Who had a dream about me?" the group looked to the Host Club door to see a glaring bluenette gritting her teeth in annoyance.

"Honey-senpai." one of the twins answered. "He's really tired today for some reason-" said the other.

"And we're trying to figure out why."

The girl harrumphed, walking towards the group to look at the slumped over blond as well.

"Good riddens." she hissed. "The pervert deserved it." as if those were the magic words, the small senior was on the girl like a mouse on cheese.

"Suu-chan! O-hai-you go-za-i-ma-su~~" he crooned, rubbing his cheek into her stomach, only to be thrown off violently.

"FUCK OFF! GO BACK TO BEING LIFELESS!" she screeched, making the other's cheeks darken.

"Such a nice way to wake up~" he sighed happily- "An insult by Suu-chan makes every morning better~" -before he was stomped on the very cheek that had been rubbing up against Tori Suu's tummy. The girl's eyes held complete and utter disdain.

"You little shit! Stop being such a damn sicko!"

The Host Club watched the scene with only a slight wince, having gotten used to this routine over the last three months. In a way, the two seemed to be in a messed up, freaky relationship. It… was just better to think of it was a 'boyfriend girlfriend' thing. For all of them. Lest they lose their minds. Well… Maybe Mori didn't have one, but still…

Honey, meanwhile, was staring, blank faced at the shoe on his cheek-to the best of his abilities. It's a weird angle-. He had a flash of his dream. Stiletto heels, clicking, 'clack… clack… clack…'. Suddenly, his whole face turned red, before he pushed the foot off of him, and scooted back rapidly until he slammed up against the double doors that opened to the halls. Suu and the others in the room stared in shock as the boy-hair disheveled, eyes wide, pupils contracted, breath heavy, face heated-twitched and stared almost fearfully at the girl he put his twisted affections towards.

"…Honey-senpai?" Tamaki tried, being the only brave-or stupid. Really, what was the difference?-enough one to take a few steps towards the second eldest in the room. "Are you alright?" the golden honey eyed boy didn't answer, his shivering pupils stuck on Suu, as if he was trying his hardest not to scream or have some other reaction related to a horror movie.

Said girl tsked, making the other flinch as she pushed Tamaki away, taking steps towards him. "What the fuck is wrong with you? What? It finally got through your rotten head that I don't like you?" she questioned, stopping twelve inches away, her figure looming over the shivering elder. "Huh?"

"N-n-n-n-n-" the other was suddenly gone, dust left in his wake as the double doors swished back and forth. Suu blinked, her eyes wide.

"Uh… what just happened?"

+8+8+*+8+8+

The small form known as Mitsukuni rocked back and forth in one of the many closets in the Academy, his whole body shivering as he tried to calm down, get a grip on reality. This wasn't his dream. He didn't like that kind of stuff, he just liked mental pain. Right, right, he wasn't that sick of a pervert. He took big, gasping breaths as he tried to calm down, closing his eyes to try and form a botched version of meditation. He was going to be fine… Just fine…

He should really tell that to his painful erection he was sporting. Damn. He opened his eyes, wetting his lips as his thighs rubbed together, only making the swollen mishap worse. He groaned. This wasn't good. He couldn't get a boner in school! How would he get rid of it?

In an instant, the image of the twins, kissing, groping, moaning- His face paled. That did it. Heaving a sigh, he slowly stood up, brushing himself off and cracking his neck side to side. He could do this… He could do this…

He stepped out of the closet, his eyes filled with determination. He could be around Suu like normal. He could so this… He could really do it…

Eventually, he arrived back at the Host Club doors, his hand on the handle. He could do this. He could do it. He turned the handle, and walked through the bombardment of roses easily. He could-

And there she was, sitting in a chair next to where he and Takashi usually sat, legs crossed, arms crossed, eyes full of annoyance as she looked around the room in boredom and- He couldn't do this. His heart skipped a beat at the dominant pose, his throat going dry, and he was getting flashes from the dream and he needed to get out of there now and-

"Honey-senpai! You're back!" Tamaki exclaimed as he hugged the other, smiling in relief. "I was sure that you had quit or something! Oh happy day!" and then he was being dragged towards Suu and she was giving him that look; the look that sent his stomach twisting and swirling, and Tamaki was babbling and she was getting closer, closer, closer-

Before he was even forced to talk to her, the door was banged on, signaling the arrival of their patrons. Honey had never been so relived that rabid fan girl robots had arrived.

+8+8+*+8+8+

Suu watched as Haninozuka giggled and smiled happily at his pedophilic patrons, his servant sitting like a statue beside him, only unfreezing to wipe his face of cake. She was confused. Which she hated being. Almost as much as being annoyed. Which she was also. Confused about the moron's reaction to her, and to the fact that he was pulling off his stupid cutesy act. Her left eye twitched as he snuggled 'Bun-Bun'. Or, 'Sasuke', as he called himself. She hadn't talked to 'Sasuke' since… it felt like eons. For the brief time she had held the thing, she had come to the conclusion, he was the sanest of all the people in the school.

Looking away from the disgusting display before her, Suu's eyes fell to the floor. Which reminded her. Why did she keep coming to this stupid place, even though she was tackled and groped and molested verbally and physically when only the Hosts were around? There really wasn't an answer. Maybe because it was routine? Maybe? Ugh, she didn't know, and she didn't damn well care. Her eyes roamed towards the boy having a good time on the couch. She shuddered. She hated that look. That look of innocence, of lies. Though she hated being perved on, it was still better that… this.

It also frustrated her that she couldn't do anything about it with the other girls there. They would glare and hiss and growl at her if she even dared to touch or yell at the faux Loli-Shota type. She could either give in to her anger, or save her life. She chose her life, surprisingly. She was already under enough pressure with everyone thinking she and Haninozuka were… close. She shuddered at the word. Their relationship was strictly Moron-Victim/Discipliner. Honestly.

"Honey-kun! You're the cutest thing!"

"Ahehehe~" Haninozuka giggled, smiling happily at the nameless drone. "Thanks Mita-chan!"

Suu scoffed. How she loved sitting here listening to that.

When the other finally finished, Suu waited to be glomped and sniffed and to return a firm smack to the head and an involuntary insult. But… Uh… Wait, where was it? She whipped her eyes open and looked to see Haninozuka sitting and eating cake silently, eyes focused on the sweet confectionary.

…The fuck?

"Oi. Midget," she started blandly, standing up to move in front of the other. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why aren't you being a little pervert like usual?" she asked, but the other kept his head down, simply chewing, his eyes covered by his bangs. Her eyes narrowed. "What the fuck-" as she began to speak, she had reached out a hand, placing it on his shoulder, only to yank it back as the other dropped the plate and quickly moved away from her, the cake landing on her shoes. She shot a glare at the blond, whose eyes were empty of emotion. "MORON!" she growled, lifting up one of her shoes to show the other his fault. "Look what you did! Someone's gonna have to clean this up now! You're such a screw up!"

The boy's eyes seemed to widen as the shoe was shown to him, his cheeks flushing as he took a step back from the other. Suu's brow furrowed, taking two steps forward herself.

"Say something you-" he took another step back. "Don't you back away from-" she followed, and he retreated. "You're such a wimp! What are you even doing?"

Eventually, it developed into a game of cat and mouse, Suu chasing Haninozuka around the room, the smaller senior dashing just out of her reach, running for his life and even hopping tables just to get away. The group watched on in awe, wondering themselves what was going on as well. Eventually, Haninozuka managed to crawl up onto one of the high shelves, shivering and staring down like a spooked animal at Suu, who was staring up at him with her hands on her hips.

It then occurred to her, why the other was refusing to come in close proximity to her. He was scared. A smile curled upon her face. She'd finally knocked some sense into him.

"Ha! Finally! Now I'm free of your nauseating actions!" with a flip of her hair, she strolled out of the room, throwing a 'See you never, suckers!' over her shoulder.

With a sigh, Honey slowly crawled down from the shelf, brushing himself off. Less than a second later, Mori placed his hand on the slightly younger man's shoulder, looking seriously down at the other.

"…"

"I'm fine, Takashi." Honey assured, not looking at the other. "Just…"

"…"

"Really, I'm-" he was cut off.

"…"

"But-"

"…" Honey flinched.

"I'm not-"

"…" he clenched one of his hands into fists.

"…Fine." he grumbled, taking his shoulder from the other's hand. "But not here. Later." he ordered, walking out of the Host Club and leaving all but Mori with 'WTF?' looks on their faces.

+8+8+*+8+8+

As the weeks passed, Suu was pleasantly left alone. Alone to read her yaoi fan fictions. Alone to eat. Alone to work. Alone to do what she usually did at school that was interrupted by Haninozuka. It was a wondrous feeling. Even the other girls were starting to leave her alone now. She was in heaven. Currently, she was laying on the grass in the courtyard, on her side, sighing peacefully. Yes, this was exactly what she wanted.

After like… five seconds, she sat up suddenly, the flowers that had fallen onto her scattering.

"DAMN IT!" she exclaimed. "ALL THIS PEACE IS GETTING ON MY NERVES!" she continued, standing up. She hated to admit it but, without the poser around, her life was DULL. It really was painful to admit. Her stomach was clenching like she was on her period. Guh. Damn…

If she wanted to remedy this utter boredom, she'd have to confront Haninozuka… Shit.

She made her way through the courtyard, the maze, the tennis court, and all the other shit that this damn school didn't need, before she finally arrived dramatically into the Host Club, making the members look up in surprise.

"Tori-san!"

"Suu-chan!"

"Suu-san!"

"…"

"Tori-san?"

She ignored the dweebs easily, making her way towards the silent Haninozuka.

"You're so pathetic!" she started right off the bat. "You make me sick to my stomach! Why the hell have you been avoiding me? You're a MAN! You don't have moodswings! Show damn backbone!" he spat. "What happened to the dick that beat all those guys to a bloody pulp, huh? HUH?" she gritted her teeth when he didn't respond. In a burst of anger, she slapped him across the face, sending his head whipping to the side. The on-lookers gasped.

He still didn't react.

"FUCK Haninozuka!" she raged. This was frustrating! What the hell was wrong with this guy? This was so wrong! He was supposed to be molesting her by now! Before the slap! FUCK! "You piece of SHIT! Speak up you fucking bastard!" SLAP! "Answer me!" SMACK! "You ugly mutant!" SLAP! SLAP! "Pervert!" SLAP!SLAP!SLAP! "Pedophile's Wet Dream!"

The other Hosts watched, motionless as the blond undertook the onslaught of slaps and insults, Haruhi making a move to stop this nonsense induced violence, only for Mori to lay a hand on her shoulder to stop her. She threw him a look. Rich people were CRAZY. Or, maybe it was just Mori, because, as he looked at the others in the group, they all, excluding Kyouya, were fidgeting, looking like they wanted to help, were dieing to. But kept glancing at Mori, who kept a firm gaze on the scene not that far away. Okay, scratch that, Kyouya and Mori were CRAZY.

"FUCKER! MORON! SICKO! BIG EYED DAIKAMURA WORTHY CENTER FOLD!" The slaps seemed to echo, each one growing in its intensity. Suu finally stopped, breathing heavily as she stared down at the elder sitting before her, her face red with anger and frustration. Her hands hurt. They hurt so much. She had hit him so many times, and yet… She clenched her burning hands into fists. And yet…

She reached out a hand to brutally yank at his hair, leaning in close, her eyes alit with flames of passionate fury.

"You stupid bitch," she hissed, her breath hot as she spoke in but a whisper to the other. "You're sitting there like a play thing you fucker. A little slut ready to be taken, beaten, tossed away into a damn DITCH somewhere. That's what you want, right? To be abused?" he let out a dry laugh. "I'll give you abuse… I'll give it to you, you twisted little whore!" her voice was rising in volume now. "I'll make you scream to the fucking rooftops you'll be in so much damn pain! Is that what you want?"

She froze at the incoherent murmur.

"…What did you say?" again, the murmur that she really couldn't make out. She was getting through. FINALLY! She shook him slightly. "Speak. Up." she ordered. "I can't hear you."

"munfsh…" she tightened her grip.

"Go on," she growled. Finally, after what felt like hours, Haninozuka lifted his face up, his usual golden honey eyes darkened to sienna. His cheeks were red from the abuse the other had given them, and his breaths were heavy, almost as labored as Suu's.

"P-punish me…" he repeated, his voice only loud enough for the completely frozen girl to hear. "Please… I- I need it-"

"S…SICK!" she yelled, tearing herself away from the other and wiping the hands that had touched the other on her dress. "Stay away from me you-" that old familiar sensation of being tackled returned, forcing her body to the floor. The breath was hot against her ear, the leg between her thighs was way to close to her most protected area, and the body hovering over her was making her claustrophobic.

"Just like that…" he whispered, his voice bridging on a moan, his eyes dark with pure lust. "Suu-chan, hurt me more, tell me how terrible I am~ Make this unworthy scum your slave my queen~" he moaned out fully, making Suu's eyes bulge and her face pinken.

"UGH!" she exclaimed in disgust, kicking the other off. "STOP IT!"

Suddenly, her foot was seized, and she watched, as though paralyzed, as Haninozuka gave her a heavy lidded stare over the tip.

"Let this slut be honored to even lick your shoes." Suu's whole body twitched with revulsion as the boy slid his tongue slowly up the tip of her maryjanes, all the way until he reached her ankle-

"!" she shrieked, kicking the other off and almost making a speedy retreat, only to be pulled back into Haninozuka.

"Make me your slave~~~ Onegai!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Creekily, Haruhi looked to Mori, his whole face stock white.

"M-mori… sempai? What… what…"

"What did you do?" the twins asked in excitement, eyes stuck to the scene of Honey forcing Suu to hover over him, making faces full of wanton enjoyment while the girl struggled and flailed and cried out for help.

"…" Mori looked away from the scene finally. "…Setokai no Ichizon episode 4... yaoi.y-galley… gelbooru" everyone was silent, Haruhi twitching, Tamaki foaming at the mouth, the twins staring eagerly at the display before them, and Kyouya staying silent, the sounds of the odd couple's struggles going on.

"…Hm… Interesting." Kyouya finally commented, his glasses flashing. "I'll have to look that up. It gives me ideas…"

"NO MOMMY! DON'T BE CORRUPTED!" Tamaki pleaded.

"Honey-sempai and Kyouya-sempai have the same blood type after all~"

Back over with Suu and Honey, said male was holding onto Suu's forearms, looking up at her desperately.

"Please! My Mistress! Hurt me! Punish me! Spurn me! Make me your toy!" Suu shook her head furiously, tears in her eyes. It was so wrong! So WRONG! All these phrases, she'd read them before! She shouldn't be turned on by this, but… but…

"HELP ME YOU DAMN SHITBAGS!" she screeched, while the twins took pictures and recorded the scene. "HELP!" Tamaki hovered over Kyouya's shoulder as he perused the sites. "YOU FUCKING COCK SUCKERS!" Mori was patting Haruhi gently on the back, a cool compress on her unconscious head. "YOU'RE ALL FUCKING LUNATICS! FUCK YOU ALL!"

"Aim your anger towards me! I'm all yours to take!"

"!"

A/N: *cracks neck, arches back* Ugh… Satisfied, you bitches? I need a drink… *glugs hot cocoa*

Yeah, this was a little… er… Dark I guess? But it had its hilarious points. I did this in… *glances at clock* …Five hours? I dunno. Pretty pathetic considering this is eight pages not including my replies to all your reviews. Um… Yeah… Blug… It's 5:50 over here so I gotta jerk off to go to sleep now… I hope you're happy A

Fuckers…