I found this wonderful list on the internet '501 things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts' and I just had to write this...

Disclaimer: I don't own Phantom of the Opera... and everything else you recognise

If you can think of any additional points, just send me an message or post them in the reviews, I'll put them in the next update (with mentioning your name, of course)

Things I am not allowed to do in the Opera Populaire

- Swinging on the chandelier is not allowed.

- Randomly jumping out at people, wearing the Red Death costume, shouting 'Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition' is not a good idea, no matter how funny it may seem

- I am not allowed to sing 'Dude looks like a lady' whenever I see Raoul

- I may not organise boating trips on the Phantom's underground lake

- I am not allowed to jump the Phantom

- I am not allowed to kill, torture or maim the Vicomte de Changy

- I will not give the 'Evil Overlord List' to the Phantom

- Or to the Vicomte

- Or to the managers

- I will not leave a copy of Disney's 'Beauty and the Beast' lying around

- Especially not where Erik or Christine can easily find it

- Definitely not with annotations at the end: 'does that story ring a bell with anyone?'

- I will not call Erik Quasimodo

- Or Darth Vader

- Or Death Eater in Training

- I will not compare Christine to Belle

- I will not compare Christine to Esmeralda

- I will not re-enact the French Taunter scene with the Phantom

- I will not, under any circumstances, let the Phantom have access to my Monty Python collection

- I will not introduce the members of the Opera Populaire to the Ministry of Silly Walks

- I am not allowed to ask Raoul to get me a shrubbery

- Or to ask him to fell the highest tree in the forest with a herring

- I will not ask Erik if a house ever fell on his sister

- I will also not ask Erik to accompany me to the Wizard of Oz, to ask for a 'nice face'

- After Bouquet's death, I really should not sing 'Ding dong, the witch is dead'

- When the managers talk to me, I may not start screaming 'Ni! Ni! Ni!'

- Neither may I say 'I must be drunk – I'm seeing double'

- I may not use Carlotta's doggie as a Bludger

- I am not allowed to start a food fight

- I will not leave magazines about plastical surgery lying around

- I may not jump up during rehearsals, scream 'follow the yellow brick road!' and run out of the auditorium

- I will not compare Erik to the Death of the Discworld

- Even if they DO look somewhat similar and are both able to speak in capitals

- Asking Raoul 'how do you keep someone in suspense?' and walking away isn't very nice – funny, but not nice

- I may not compare Carlotta to the evil step-sister

- Or to the Wicked Witch of the East

- Or to the annoying Good Witch of the North

- I am not allowed inside Carlotta's room

- I am also not allowed in the prop room

- Or in the costume room

- The Time Warp is not an acceptable dance for the Masquerade

- Neither is the Floor Show

- Rocky Horror costumes are not to be worn for the Masquerade either

- The same goes for Monty Python outfits

- Or Halloween costumes