Disclaimer: don't own a thing.. sad isn't it?
A/N isn't my native language, Dutch is.
Repost.
Summary: Derek has a choice to make, Addison or Meredith. Just a little one shot about Derek making his choice! Summary sucks I know..
The world is asleep but my eyes are open, awake I stare in front of me.
I'm sleep walking through my days, floating through space and lost time.
But what should I feel, Who should I be and where should I go?
Tell me what to do, give me a sign or an answer.
Escape, hide for reality is all what remains in my brain.. I did that before, it didn't work out.
Because when I'm with you I can feel, because of you I can feel who I should be.
Is this what they mean? Are you my answer? Is this a sign?
I open my eyes again.. I really can't catch the sleep I badly need. I haven't been able to catch some sleep in days. Not since I have this choice to make. The choice I thought would be simple.. but it isn't.
"Pick me, choose me, love me" she said today, looking me in the eye while crying. I love her but I used to love Addison for fourteen years.
I want to escape, just pack up my stuff and move, but I cant.. not again.
I sit up in my bed and look at her.. there she is fully asleep. At least one of us is tonight.
I used to watch her sleep, it made me happy. It doesn't anymore. Watching Meredith makes me happy now. I know I need to make a decision, starting over or trying to fix something that maybe isn't fixable anymore.
I loved my wife.. I did, in an small way I still do, but time drove us apart. My heart wants to leave her, but my head tells me that the vows I made are more important.
I sigh and watch her turn around, now with her back towards me.
I think about what happened back in New York, the thing that made us become the people we are today. I was caught up with work, she had sex with my best friend.
We both screwed up. I don't know what to feel, what to do.
I close my eyes again and imagine Meredith is here.
In my thoughts I creep into her. We merge into one. It feels so good.
When I'm lost, you are my anchor. Tearing down all the walls around me.
Make me change my mind from running I want to stay here, in your arms.
My heart made a decision, my head tells me to try and fix my past.
I don't want to pretend anymore, I want to love someone and be loved.
My past with Addison needs to stay my past, tomorrow I will tell them.
Tonight I will dream about my future with Meredith.
Reviews please? They make my day!
