A/N: I needed to write some angst. The title of this story is from Daniel Bedingfield's "If You're Not the One" – which Sean and Belle happened to be dancing to on DOOL tonight as I wrote this. I don't even regularly watch the show or particularly want Sean and Belle together (she's a basket case; and that's not Austin, creepy), but the song just fit what I already had in mind. This starts after the apology, and then I change it up a lot, then not so much. This was supposed to be a short one-shot. But you know how that goes with me. Could be two parts. Might take on a life of its own. I am not abandoning Meddling. But they won't stay happy in that story if I can't write this. Thanks to Megasites for the transcripts.
Disclaimer: Not only did I steal your characters ABCD, I stole actual dialogue from the show. Cost-benefit analysis says you should hire me, not sue me.
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If You're Not the One
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I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't
understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me
that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
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"Hi, Robin." Dr. Alan Quatermaine was surprised to see Robin back hours after her shift ended, especially since he had heard the gossip that she was having dinner tonight with Dr. Patrick Drake. It must not, he surmised watching her slam binders around, have gone well.
At the sound of Alan's greeting she whirled around. "This is all your fault!" She shouted, even as some small part of her mind knew she was being very unprofessional.
"Well, I'm sure that's true. What did he do?" Monica couldn't resist the opportunity to jab one at her husband.
"As Chief of Staff, shouldn't you have made some rule that forbids staff members from dating each other?" Why had this not occurred to her before? If there was a rule she had to abide by none of this would have happened and it wasn't too late to convince Alan to implement one.
"Imagine, all the pain that would've saved us, huh?" Monica chimed in.
"Well, it's not too late for me. Please, stop me before I do something really stupid like give in or give up. I mean, Dr. Patrick Drake -- he's the most pompous, arrogant -- the fact that I was even tempted -- I mean, I really should have my head examined!" Before she could say another word she heard his voice from behind.
"Excuse me, Dr. Scorpio? Have you seen the Conway files?" His deep, low, sexy voice.
Robin froze. She blinked and slowly turned around hoping it had been a trick of the mind. No such luck. She looked blindly down at the counter. A file, he just wants a file, she sifted through them to find the one he asked for right there in the middle of the counter where he must have seen it. "Um, here." She turned away and tried to calm herself down. Hoped for a big gaping hole to suck her away. Or him.
"So go ahead, ask me."
"Ask you what?" Instead of relieved that he has his bantering voice in play she just feels tired.
"If I slept with Carly."
At those words Robin froze. She looked at Patrick, really looked at him, heard him. She closed her eyes and let out a deep breath, and then she looked up at him and said the four words that made men's balls shrivel in every language. "We need to talk."
"About what exactly?" Patrick said suggestively as he leaned in on the counter.
Or maybe it was just men who'd actually had a relationship before.
"About us."
"I wasn't aware there was an 'us'" Patrick put the Conway file back down on the counter and looked at Robin with raised eyebrows. He really thought again that she was too serious for her own good and that it was his personal mission to shake up her ordered world. What he intended to get out of it he didn't know, he just knew he liked doing it. He wasn't aware that it was part power trip, part third grade boy getting the pretty girl's attention.
"I still owe you a meal and there are some things I want to say, without an audience." Robin pressed a hand to her stomach under the counter where he couldn't see it. "How about the cafeteria or Kelly's?"
"Not your place?" Patrick asked, but his attempt at sounding cocky fell flat even to his ears. "Cafeteria. Should be empty enough." He sighed. He had a feeling he was not going to enjoy this.
>>>>>>
GH Cafeteria; corner table by
window
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"Not exactly the home cooking I was looking forward to." Patrick bit into his dry turkey sandwich.
"Actually, it reminds me of my mother's cooking." Robin chuckled looking down at what purported to be a salad with grilled chicken. It looked more like, well, she felt nauseous enough that she didn't need to finish that thought.
"Did your mother teach you to cook? Maybe I did get lucky tonight after all?"
Robin looked up and studied Patrick. After everything she had done and said to him tonight and he was joking about it. Rather than feeling relieved she felt even worse.
"You clearly have something to say, go ahead." Patrick caught and held her gaze.
"Tonight you came over expecting a nice dinner and what you got was an ambush. A wholly undeserved one." Robin looked down at her hands which were clasped in her lap for a moment. "I'm not a cruel person by nature, Patrick. What I did to you tonight was cruel. I don't like myself very much tonight."
"I understand, Robin, you thought you heard…"
"That's no excuse. You're right, I didn't ask you what you were talking about I just assumed the worst. My instincts were telling me this was a bad idea so I grabbed on to that call and used it. I had no reason to think you would do that to me. I am deeply sorry for everything that I said you, Patrick. You didn't deserve the things I said." Others did, but not Patrick Drake.
"You already apologized tonight, remember that growing experience?" Patrick smiled, happy to hear her heartfelt apology again, though he didn't deem it necessary.
"Yes, I remember very clearly that you made me air our private matter in front of Carly. I can't say that I didn't deserve it, but it did open my eyes. I shouldn't be involved with anyone that I have to ask whether they've slept with Carly. I won't be." Robin bit her tongue to stop herself from saying more. From ranting and raving again about what the hell was she thinking!
"I never slept with her, I told you that and I hardly had time tonight to do it." Patrick shrugged, not understanding.
"I don't think you know the history, but the fact that you're using a woman who threw my HIV status in my face in front of you to get my attention…" Robin broke off again and blew out a breath and shook her head. She wasn't sure she could say what she wanted to say without sounding, as he would call it, lecturing and condescending. "We want and need different things. I can't be who you want me to be and you can't or won't give me what I need."
"Barely two dates and you want to talk about marriage." Patrick looked at her like she was crazy.
"I need committed, monogamous relationship that involves respect and communication. You want to do date who you want when you want and get what you term payoff."
"Then maybe you're right." Patrick's face was hard, his eyes dark and brooding as he looked at Robin. "We won't work if tonight is your version of communication, it's really the last thing you should be lecturing me on," he hissed.
"I'm not perfect, Patrick, I never pretended to be. I'm flawed, guarded, serious a lot of the time and I don't like who I become around you. I don't like that I lose control, that I don't think, I'm uncomfortable, that I….this! This!" Robin threw her hands up in the air and glared at him. She hated most of all that she wasn't cool, calm and composed and sounding like a scholar.
"Alive! I make you feel alive. And it scares you to death." Patrick crossed his arms and looked at her smugly finally feeling like he had the upper hand. All this because he wanted a home cooked meal?
"And you're just after a good time." Robin's eyes were wet as she looked at Patrick.
The words were a punch in the gut to Patrick, as was the vulnerability in Robin's eyes. That was what he wanted, wasn't it? To date who he wanted when he wanted. To have fun. Then why was his heart racing?
"What now?" he asked quietly.
"We go back to being just friends and colleagues."
"And what I euphemistically call flirting ends tonight." Patrick's face and voice were flat. Grim.
"Yes." Robin's hands were clenched in her lap. She knew this was the right thing to do. So why did it feel like she was breaking her own heart? No. She needed to remember why she was doing this. He was immature. He was involved with Carly. She would not live through that again.
"I'm not hungry for this after all." Patrick lifted his tray, didn't move for a moment, then stood up and walked away.
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If you're not for me then why does this distance maim
my life?
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