A/N: This is part of a prompt challenge I'm doing on LiveJournal. This prompt was "Broken."
Lavi can't stand to see him this way.
It's late, and the moonlight drifting in from the window catches on the shady curtain, causing shadows to span over Allen's face like cobwebs. He's used to seeing Allen in darkness now, far too used to it, and the other looks at him with those vacant blue eyes as if searching for an answer.
"Lavi," Allen whispers, and it's like stepping on glass, the sound of his voice. Painful and addictive all at once. Shattered and pleading, eyes looking up into his own… "I don't mind it. Please, just… don't stop."
Lavi is above him, and the feathery touch of the moonlight is tickling his bare skin, and he's pressed down on Allen in the dark like this, seeing only Allen's blue blue eyes and snowy hair and those shadows. They trace his face with the movement of the lace in the curtain, dance across his eyes and mouth invitingly, make him look so much older and so much more experienced than he is.
But he can't; his hands stutter, trembling nervously against Allen's skin, feeling his heart trying to beat its way out of his chest, throbbing in his ribcage. Relax. Hold still. Go with it. It's okay. It doesn't hurt anymore. These words mean nothing to him in this situation. Allen is trembling too; he can feel it through the thin material of his doubt.
"It's okay, Lavi. I'm fine now."
Lavi looks at him, and the marks along his skin are well blended with the shadows. He can hardly tell which is which now, spider-webs of roughsoftgentle skin raised on his stomach, his chest, his arms and hands and legs and… everywhere, until he's convinced that Allen is more scar than skin anymore. Lavi reaches out to let his fingertips ghost over them and Allen closes his eyes and soon they're thrown into this darkness headfirst. There's no way back up, no way to stop, just the two of them between the sheets, the two of them with the blankets and the shadows and the scars.
And when Allen is ready to come, he grips onto Lavi's shoulders and gasps out an expletive, and Lavi can't even bring himself to follow because it's too messed up and wrong to ever be what he'd wanted originally. Allen looks up at him with those eyes, now filled with tears and regret and sorrow, and his skin is webbed with wounds (heart is trapped by wounds freshly opened), and the shadows trace his face until the vision of a mask wraps around his eyes.
"I'm fine… I'm fine…"
Allen's hands clutch at him and he breaks down into tears, and Lavi holds him close, afraid to hurt him… though he knows, deep down, that Allen had already been broken long ago.
