I'm the kind of person who hits a desert of writer's block and then suddenly- in the car- in the shower- in the middle of class- I get an idea. Here's the idea.

Shadis had awoken to the sun streaming through his window and onto his face. He was on his couch in the living room of his one bedroom apartment. He falls asleep here quite often; his tan more than likely comes from the sun streaming in on his sleeping face. Call him a creature of habit because that's what he is. He rolled off the couch and onto the floor and looked around before walking into his bathroom to get a good look at himself. Dark circles under the eyes, even deeper wrinkles in his skin than the day before, and… baldness. That's right, he's hitting that age where unlucky men lose all of their hair… Actually he hit that age a while ago.

"Get it together Keith, you're balding- not dying," he tells himself, turning on the shower.

He had another full schedule today at the hospital he runs. With his leading surgeon, Grisha, leaving for missionary work he's had to fill in for the hours. When he really thought about it his hospital was understaffed. Perhaps he should open a station for interns or announce the hospital was hiring? Even a new nurse would be of help. Shadis finished undressing and put work thoughts out of his head. The shower was a time for peace, a time to relax, a time to admire the shampoo bottle still left inside. Shadis had lost all of his hair about four years ago- stress- age- genetics- no matter the reason he still was without hair but he couldn't come to terms with it so he left his shampoo in the shower. Sometimes, when the summer winds rush past him, he can close his eyes and feel the phantom follicles still there. Out of his mind or otherwise Shadis decided today would be the day he finally throws away that near empty bottle of shampoo.

The man hurried up and took his shower in the least sexy way. He dried himself off and reached for the hairdryer. He wondered why he hadn't thrown this out either? He set the hairdryer down, deciding that was too big a step for today and instead reached for his trimming scissors. He maintained the topiary and shining relic of the time long ago when he was a hairy man. Yes, Keith Shadis had a tuft of confidence on his chin. He took great care of that chin hair- for the most part he didn't even have eyebrows. This last patch of hair above his shoulders was very precious to him.

Keith finished his basic morning hygiene routine and got dressed. While he wasn't poor he wasn't into spending copious amounts of money on himself. His flat was modest, his clothes were modest, and even he, as of late, had become modest. He could remember a time of obsession where he longed to be special, whatever that really meant. He had no idea what he was reaching for but it lead him to building the hospital. Then one day he realized he would never be special, he would never truly stand out, and he fell into a short depression followed by his current state. He wasn't unhappy, but he wasn't happy either. At least now he accepts how pointless he is and how he'll die alone. It's not even a sad thought for him, it's just the way things are and those things don't bother him anymore.

What did bother him was that shampoo bottle he took out of the shower with him. He had set it on the kitchen counter and engaged in a staring contest with it. It won. Figures, he couldn't even win against a half empty shampoo bottle.

"I'll throw it out later," he reasoned with himself, leaving it on the counter before leaving his home.

He drove to a local café near his hospital. Maybe he was self-indulgent after all? He had more or less made it a habit to go there every morning for coffee and whatever pastry. He realized in that moment that he wasn't self-indulgent but he had actually made a habit of going there.

"Morning Shadis," he was greeted by their part time worker, Hange.

Hange was completely genderless. Shadis had known them for months now and still had no clue, not that he cared either way. Hange was a college student who was always very chatty with him. Today's question of the day:

"Hey, how old are you?"

"Again with the questions, Hange," he sighed as the he/she brewed his coffee.

"You come in here a lot and I'm curious."

"Alright, are you a boy or a girl? Answer me and I'll tell you my age."

Hange only laughed their androgynous laugh, "You look older today, is it your birthday?"

"No, it's not."

"Well happy birthday anyway."

"Why?"

"For all the ones I missed. How many might that be?"

"Good try," he conceded.

"Maybe you're so old you actually lost count," they laughed some more.

"Don't push it kid."

Hange finished their frittering about behind the counter and gave Shadis his coffee and pastry of the day. That was Hange's idea, who was rather tired of handing the older man the same thing all the time. Hange was different, Hange had no habits.

"How much do I owe you," Shadis asked, taking a sip of the life water blacker than the bags under his eyes.

"A life debt," Hange joked.

"You took your sweet time making this so I'm running late."

"Fine. How about a phone number?"

Shadis didn't even humor the kid, he simply took out a ten, "Here. Keep the change."

The genderless human inspected the bill longer than protocol, which kind of pissed Shadis off.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just thought you might have craftily put your phone number on it."

"Goodbye Hange."

"See you at halftime," they waved him goodbye as the next customer finally was able to order. They weren't greeted with half the cheer Shadis got.

Shadis sat in his car and looked at the cup Hange gave him, their number scrawled out on the hot paper. He sighed, what did Hange want anyway? Why did they keep making those weird jokes? He laughed to himself as he caught his reflection in the rear view mirror. If he were Erwin he'd chalk it up as yet another love confession, but he isn't Erwin. Erwin is special. Shadis shook his head, he was over that now. He was content being nobody. He really looked at himself again, a glare as cold as the floor of his apartment in winter and he forgot to wear socks to bed. His stare is as icy as the toilet seat in the morning when he goes to take a shit. Anyone who randomly passed him would just assume he was as emotionless and tough as a bag of frozen peas. But Shadis wasn't like that- well he was- but he was also human. He has a human heart that beats and bleeds and pumps oxygen through his body. Even if it's another one of Hange's jokes he wished they'd just stop already. He has feelings too.

He started up his car and drove to the hospital a little ways down the road. It was nice. It wasn't some massive Red Cross institution but it was sizeable and it had the best staff like… ever. Shadis parked his car and walked in through the front door. He was greeted by Nurse Petra, a pretty girl with an ugly ass boyfriend, Aruro. Shadis often wondered how trash like him scored ass like her. Perhaps it was his full head of hair? The world is so unkind.

"Good morning, Commander," Doctor Smith walked in, shining like grease on bacon- and damn did he bring home the bacon if you know what I mean.

"Doctor Shadis is fine, Erwin. Even Keith doesn't bother me at this point," the older man was slightly blinded by the vision before him.

"Of course, so, how are things with the Jeagers?"

"We're at work, please be professional," Keith groaned as they walked through the halls.

"I just figured with Grisha out of town now would be the opportune time to get professional with Carla?"

"When will you give it up, you merciless and calculating bastard?"

Erwin smiled then, the most perfect smile beyond imagination, "when you give up, I'll give up."

"I already have given up, dumb ass."

"Then why are you still alone? You haven't gone on a date since… hold on… have you ever gone on a date?"

"Plenty," Shadis deadpanned.

"Well?"

"We're at work, be professional."

"We still have time. Hey, why don't we go to this cool bar I know after work? I bet you'd do well there. It's dark so you won't have to worry about the glare of lights shining off your beacon of a scalp."

"Erwin you just want an excuse to go see Levi," Shadis groaned, already exhausted from talking.

"So you've seen through me again. I hope I'm half as sharp as you when I'm you're age."

"And here I thought you'd be young forever."

"Well there is charm in a distinguished grey."

"Maybe all your hair will fall out too," Shadis grinned.

Erwin beamed, "With brows as thick as mine, I'll never be bald."

It's super effective! Shadis was knocked out! Erwin used a full HP revive on his commander who chased him off to get to work. Erwin only agreed when Shadis gave into his demands. It seems they would be going out to the bars tonight. Shadis closed the door to his office behind him and fell into his chair. Whatever, he was craving a beer anyhow. Maybe he would get completely obliterated tonight, score some random cutie, and regret his life the next morning. He does that anyway. Who was he kidding? He would go, watch Erwin get his mack on and then go home after two drinks no problem. Shadis looked at the paper work waiting for him and sighed, he wasn't feeling it.

Instead he took a good and long sip of his coffee, "hmm?"

He took another drink and really let it settle, "It's pretty good today."

Yeah, chapter 1 of what I'm sure is the only Shadis x Hange fanfic. I've been obsessed with these 2 for a few days and I can't find anything so I hope you like it. Also, here's a bonus scene I didn't include but thought was kind of funny. REVIEW!

"There's a line," barked the irritated customer after Shadis, who just left btw, "I've been waiting forever!"

"Do you wanna know on average how much time humans waste waiting in their lives?"

"Huh?"

"We'll keep wasting time until I score those digits," Hange grinned, the light glaring on their glasses, causing the frames to go white in the creepiest way.

"Uh… I'll just have a double espresso."