I am sad, this is my sadness expressed. Spoilers for 11x02 based on the promo, please review, much love xx

Somewhere in the distance the calming sound of a bamboo wind chime broke through into Ziva's consciousness, and then the warmth of the night air followed as it whispered softly through the leaves, catching the drapes that hung loosely around the open window before gently caressing her exposed and sensitive skin. The air smelt of the not too distant mountains and the hundreds of orange trees that surrounded the secluded farmhouse. The next gust filled her senses with the scent of her sleeping partner, whose strong arm was wrapped protectively around her, hand splayed across her ribcage holding her close to him.

Waking up to him holding her like he never wanted to let her go was a bittersweet moment, for so long she had wanted nothing more than to wake up like this every morning, and when the moment had finally come, who knew if she would ever wake up that way again

She sighed as she nestled back into his embrace, lacing her fingers through his and pulling his arm tighter around her as she moved their joined hands to rest over her heart. For every second since their lips had met she had been kicking herself, why had she denied herself for so long all the love that he had been so willing to give. He had been showing her, not always so subtly, for so many years in so many ways that his heart was hers, and now the regret that their relationship had to end before it had even begun was a constant stabbing pain in her heart.

"What are you thinking about," Tony whispered, shaking Ziva from her train of thought, his warm breath fanning across her neck and shoulders, a trail of goose bumps erupting in its wake.

"How did you…" she whispered back, surprised she hadn't noticed the change in his breathing to indicate he was no longer asleep.

"You were thinking very loudly," he replied as he placed feather light kisses down her neck and across her shoulder, her skin tingling with each delicate touch.

"I am sorry if I woke you," she apologised, slightly extricating herself from her partners embrace to check the time on her phone, seeing it was a little after 5am she allowed him to pull her back into his arms.

"Ziva…." he scolded playfully as she turned herself in his arms so they were nearly nose to nose, her hands coming rest on his chest as his arms wound around her waist, one hand leaving a trail of fire up and down her spine.

In the faint light of the emerging sunrise she could make out his every feature, the dim light accentuating every little line and contour of his face, his scruffy beard and messy hair only serving to endear him to her further. As she absorbed the adoration in his eyes she felt the heat rise in her cheeks, wondering quite what she had done to deserve such a look.

"I was thinking about the past," she paused momentarily, moving one hand to cup his face, running a thumb softly across his bottom lip, "and the future," she continued, "there is so much I wish I could change about both."

"I wouldn't change the past," he tried to assure her, "as hard as it has been sometimes, we wouldn't be who we are now if we hadn't been through what we have together."

"Maybe we would be happy now if we had acted differently in the past," she smiled sadly, "maybe we would not have run out of time…."

"No," Tony cut her off, "we can't do this to ourselves, we only have a few hours left and I don't intend on wasting them on what ifs and maybes."

"But Tony…" Ziva tried to argue.

"Nope," he once again interjected, bringing his left hand up to lace through Ziva's hair, brushing it out of her face and winding it round to cup the back of her head as he brought his lips crashing down on hers.

Ziva allowed herself to surrender to his embrace, all the fight kissed right out of her as her body melted into his, the sensation of his lips gently caressing hers enough to rid her brain of any other thought than how amazing of a sensation it was.

"You make a very convincing argument," Ziva breathed as they broke for air.

"An argument I intend on winning," Tony grinned, placing a gentle kiss on her nose before claiming her lips once again.

"Oh really…" Ziva giggled, the mischievous glint in her eye not caught quick enough by Tony as she proceeded to roll him onto his back and straddle him, pinning his arms above his head, intertwining their fingers on the pillow as her curls dangled around his face.

For a second the atmosphere turned serious as Tony couldn't help but gasp as he took in the sight of Ziva hovering over him, swearing he had never seen anything so beautiful in all his life as his normally guarded ninja looking all flushed and undone above him, her sun bleached curls framing her face.

Not wanting to think about the fact that he would never see her that way again, Tony smiled and feigned a struggle. "Ok, ok," he smirked, "I give in, you've won."

"Good," Ziva smiled, lowering her body so her chest was flush with his and their noses were mere millimetres apart, "now shut up and kiss me some more."

"Yes ma'am," he breathed, feeling Ziva relax her grip on his hands he proceeded to wrap them around her, kissing her hard as he rolled them again, determined to make the most of the little time they had left.

A few hours later, as the full rays of the morning sun now streamed through the window bathing the room in a soft light, Tony sat on the edge of the bed, watching Ziva as she slept. One hand clasped tightly around his sleeping partners, the other one gently weaving patterns through her hair, he sighed as tried to commit every detail of her perfect face to memory, knowing that memories would have to sustain him for who knows how long.

He tucked a curl behind her ear, his right thumb lazily rubbing soft circles on the back of her hand; he moved his left hand to the side of her face, trailing the backs of his fingers down her cheek and across her jaw, her skin so soft and warm against his fingers.

As she began to stir, Tony moved his attention to her arm, tracing from her shoulder to where her hand lay in his. Her eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the light and the tingling sensation Tony's delicate touches were leaving on her body.

"Morning beautiful," he grinned as her eyes met his, bringing his hand to rest on her hip and she sleepily returned his smile.

She moved to sit up; stretching as she did so, noticing the sun was now much higher in the sky. "What time is it," she asked, running her fingers through her unruly curls, Tony instantly feeling the loss of her skin against his.

"Just after 11," he replied, taking an apple off the bedside table where it sat next to a mug of tea and placing it in her lap. "I brought you breakfast in bed, it would have been more exciting but I didn't have a lot to work with."

"Thank you," she smiled, turning the apple over in her hands, dropping her eyes from his. "How long have you been sat there?"

"Not long enough, I could spend forever just looking at you," he admitted without thinking properly, his heart sinking as a pained look flashed across Ziva's face.

"Tony…" she started, shuffling across the bed until she was kneeling in front of him, cupping his face with both hands as she gazed deeply into his eyes, trying desperately to find the words.

"It's ok Ziva," he soothed, winding an arm around her waist, "I know this is what we have to do. I want to be with you, and I know that you want to be with me…"

"More than anything," she whispered, moving her arms to circle around his neck, weaving her fingers through the short hairs at the nape of his neck.

"I know that for us to have a long term, I have to let you go for the short term," he continued, gently shifting her so she was straddling his lap, resting his hands on her hips. "I would do anything to make sure that you're safe, and if you gotta rid yourself of some demons," he paused, moving a hand to place it over her heart, "in order for us to be the best that we can be, then I will wait for you, as long as that takes."

"I am sorry," Ziva whispered, her guard truly obliterated by this man, who had been in front of her the whole time but who she had been too blind to see. The tears rolled freely down her cheeks as she struggled to regain her voice, "I am sorry that I have taken you for granted for so long."

"No sorrys Ziva," he smiled, gently wiping the tears from her face, "you know how Gibbs feels about those."

"Ok," she nodded, leaning in to place a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Ok," he nodded in return, running his hands up her sides as he kissed her tenderly in return. He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers, "now we should get up," he whispered, "we have a long drive to the airport."

"In a minute," she breathed, moulding her body to his a she kissed him once again, her lips caressing his as her tongue begged for entrance to his mouth, determined that their little self imposed bubble would not be burst just yet.

The sun had set by the time they reached the airport, the long drive through the countryside of Israel had mostly been spent with Ziva's head on Tony's shoulder and her fingers laced through his, talking. Ziva had pointed out landmarks and places she had visited when she was a child, happy memories of a time long since past. Tony had shared with her some of his own childhood memories, the walls finally crumbling down between them, each becoming an open book for the other to read.

Backs checked, boarding eventually called, Ziva clung to his jacket as they walked out to the tarmac, hanging back until Tony was the last passenger to board.

Ziva stopped, tears starting to brick the back of her eyes, a nauseous feeling starting to bubble in the pit of her stomach. She reached out for Tony's hand as he turned to face her.

"There's still time to change your mind," he smiled, knowing the answer already but chancing the offer anyway.

Ziva replied with the saddest smile, unable to answer him with words her eyes did all the communicating, not trusting her voice not to break.

"I know sweetcheeks," he murmured, trying not to let his emotions get the better of him, trying to stay positive enough for the both of them. "Just promise me that you will keep yourself safe okay," to which she nodded.

However hard she tried she could not keep the tears from falling as they just looked at each other, oblivious to everything that was around them. Taking a deep breath she steadied herself enough to speak.

"Tony…" she started, "you are so…" she paused, internally mustering up the courage to say the word she knew that she wanted to say.

"What…" he asked, spurring her on, his eyes urging her to finish her thought.

"Loved," she breathed, tilting her head to one side almost scared of his reaction, her stomach doing somersaults as she waited for his reply.

"I love you too," he choked, bringing his hand up to sweep her hair back from her face, his thumb softly stroking the side of her face as she wound her arms around his waist. With that he leaned down and kissed her tenderly, conveying all the emotion he could into the too short moments they still had together, her hands clinging to his shirt like she never wanted to let him go.

As the kiss ended, Tony wrapped his arm around her, pulling her tight to his chest, tight enough that she could hear his heartbeat pounding in his chest, savouring every last second with her, the smell of her hair, and the feel of her arms wrapped around him, the warmth of her body pressed against his.

As the flight attendant signals to him from the top of the stairs, he reluctantly pulls back, kissing her one last time. As she hands him his coat her hand grabs hold of his and she whispers, "count to a million…"

Tony smiles as he starts to walk towards the plane, but Ziva finds herself unable to let go of his hand, their fingers sliding along each other until finally only their fingertips are touching. As the contact ends, Ziva wraps her arms protectively around herself, a sob emanating from deep within her soul as Tony climbs the stairs, and with one final wave, disappears inside the plane.

Tony makes his way to his seat he stows his bag and then proceeds to put his jacket on, the chill from the air conditioning in the cabin reflecting the loss of his proximity to his partner. Taking the window seat, he fishes around in his pocket for his headphones but instead finds a small, neatly folded envelope.

As the scent of Ziva's perfume reaches his nose, he unfolds the envelope, turning it round so he can see Ziva's unmistakable writing on the front. 'Look after this for me until we are together again.' As he rips open the envelope and tips the contents into his hand, out falls Ziva's Star of David. In disbelief he holds it up in front of his eyes, then curling it tightly into the palm of his hand he holds his head in his hands, the positivity he had tried to maintain suddenly dissolving as the reality of their goodbye sinks in.

There will be a chapter 2, let me know if you want it guys xx