Hello potential readers! Peaches here, with my trusty kitty-cat Mojo! Thank you for considering this humble and unworthy fanfic for your precious entertainment. We are most grateful! Reviews and constructive criticism are always welcome! Enjoy!
Chapter One: Frightfully Boring…
It was raining in Kippernia. Or rather, pouring. Most of the normal castle hustle and bustle had gone indoors, leaving the work yard strangely quiet. Except for the routine clanging from Smithy's forge of course. Smithy was hard at work. Rake and Jester had urged him to come down to the tavern with them, but he had to finish some brass-work for the queen's wardrobe. Smithy frowned in concentration as he tinkered with the last intricate details on the handle. Flowers and vines seemed to blossom at his fingertips in the malleable metal. Yet Smithy was not happy with his handiwork. He stood back, wiping the sweat and grime from his brow. Just as any other time, he could never get at why his work never looked quite right. Smithy walked to the edge of his forge, staring out at the thundering downpour. Maybe he should have gone with the lads...
...
Jane hated rain. She really did. Rain meant no flight patrol, no practice in the yard, no fun at all. Instead she was tucked away in the boring castle kitchens, letting Pepper plait her hair. The other kitchen staff had gone to their quarters, it was a slow day after all. Jane was secretly glad. It was good that the king could afford extra help now, but the new kitchen maids were so silly...
"Hobgoblins, your hair has gotten so long!" Pepper prattled cheerfully. She took a passing glance at the beef and carrot stew simmering on the hearth then happily went back to braiding.
Jane made a face; she usually objected to this sort of girly thing, but Pepper had insisted.
"I love when the autumn rains come," Pepper chattered on. "It seems like another year's already at a close. Imagine Jane! You and I are nearly old enough to wed!" She gave a longing glance out the window. "And the boys have grown up so nicely..."
"Maybe one boy in particular." Jane smirked at Pepper, who quickly finished the braid and began chopping sage violently, casting furtive glances the stew as her cheeks began to color with embarrassment. Jane gave a very un-Jane giggle; perhaps girly things were amusing every so often. "Don't think I don't catch you watching him. Especially the other day when he was working in the garden with his tunic open."
"Well this conversation sounds wonderfully raunchy, may I join?"
The girls looked up to see a lanky young fellow garbed top to bottom in forget-me-not blue standing in the doorway.
"And who may I ask," Jester added as he picked up a meat pasty from the morning's breakfast. "are we talking about?"
"Oh just a specific gardener whom Pepper is passionately enthralled with." Jane said.
"Not passionately-" Pepper blushed.
"But you are in fact enthralled?" Jester interrupted, his mouth full of pasty.
"No, I didn't say-"
"You implied." Jane grinned.
"I didn't mean to-"
"Oh a Freudian slip then? What other juicy secrets are locked in your subconscious I wonder?" Jester teased.
"What?" Pepper's face was getting pinker by the second. "That doesn't even make sense!"
"Right, Sigmund Freud won't be born for a couple hundred years or so..." Jester muttered to himself. He cleared his throat. "That's beside the point! You're ...You're... You fancy Rake!"
"Innovative as ever," Jane rolled her eyes. "I thought you and the lads were headed to the tavern?"
Jester sighed. "We were. But Smithy decided to be an overachiever and get extra work done, the dollop-head."
"Then why can't you and Rake go on your own?" Jane said, picking lazily at a pasty herself.
"I usually need someone to help me get Rake home," Jester shrugged. "He doesn't hold his liquor well."
"Then why do you make him drink?" Jane sighed.
"Well I can't drink by myself like some clotpole!" Jester said, exasperated.
"You're hopeless," Jane groaned.
"Not as hopeless as- Speak of the Devil." Jester smiled wickedly as Rake walked in, sopping wet. His dripping clothes clung to his skin, outlining him nicely. Jane smirked as Pepper went pink at the sight of him.
"Oh, Rake," She spluttered. "I didn't see you there..."
"Well you sure see him now!" Jester called happily from across the kitchen. Jane snickered and elbowed him in the chest.
"Hush now, you're awful," She said. "Why don't you fetch Rake a towel Pepper? I'll show Jester the door."
"Have fun dealing with the wet clothes!" Jester called happily over his shoulder as Jane pushed him out the door.
….
Ten minutes later, Rake sat in his breeches, wrapped in a quilt as his clothes steamed dry on the mantel. He wrapped the corners around tighter, trying to appear as inconspicuous as possible as some of the newer kitchen maids hustled by, giggling as they finished the evening chores. He wished they'd stop. He wished that Pepper had let him go back to his chambers instead of sitting out here where all the girls were giggling at him.
"Rake?"
He turned to see Pepper, looking pretty as a peach, as radiant as a rose, holding a hot mug of mulled cider out to him. Maybe sitting out here wasn't so bad after all.
"Thanks Pepper." He accepted the warm mug gratefully. Closing his eyes, he took a long swig. Opening his eyes he saw Pepper stifling a laugh behind her hand. Rake groaned.
"Oh not you too! Why are all the girls giggling at me?"
"Your hair," Pepper giggled. "It's gone all fluffy; it's sticking up everywhere like a little tike who's just rolled out of bed." She reached down and fluffed his hair.
Rake, who was not anticipating the sudden feminine contact, nor the alluring smell of Pepper's lilac and honey soap, turned pink and dropped his mug. It shattered to the floor with a resounding crash.
"Oh my, here-"Pepper knelt to gather the cracked pottery.
"N-no, i-it was my fault-" Rake stuttered stepping forward to help and tripping over Pepper in the process.
"Rake, are you alright?"
Pepper crawled over as Rake pulled himself up, knocking into her and sending them rolling into a heap. Rake realized that he had landed on something soft. He pulled himself up to find that he had tumbled onto Pepper, who now lay below him, pink and petrified. Pepper, who was a little discombobulated from the fall, found herself laying with her face a few precious inches from her beloved garden boy. His skin had been scratched by the shards of mug during the tumble. He had also lost the quilt, leaving them in quite the compromising situation, he, tunic-less and bleeding, pinning the very flushed head chef beneath him. They sat frozen for what seemed like forever, both to afraid to move.
"I have to bake a cake for the Duke of Faunsbury's visit tomorrow." Pepper finally managed to squeak out.
"Yeah," Rake replied, feeling stupid and slow. He scrambled off of Pepper and grabbed his slightly damp clothing from the mantel. He turned back to apologize, but found that he couldn't really make his words come out properly. Instead he made a weird gurgling noise and a hurried twitch that was supposed to be a wave. Unable to think of anything else, he dashed out of the kitchens.
...
Jane sighed. The rain had stopped during the night and now she sat, leaning on the battlements, smelling the dew and watching the morning sun peek its head up.
"Look Jane, it almost matches your hair."
Jane smirked. "Up this early Jester? You usually sleep till dinner."
"Usually I do believe in a healthy dose of slumber but," Jester leaned against the wall and groaned. "I can't seem to sleep well as of late."
"Why not?" Jane frowned. "Is something keeping you awake?"
Jester dragged a hand across his sleep stricken face.
"Just the suffocating silence," he mumbled. "Jane, it is so frightfully boring these days."
"It has been awfully quiet as of late," Jane sighed. "But I doubt there is much we can do about it."
Jester's eyes narrowed. Jane inclined her head.
"You have an idea?" She asked, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.
"Well," Jester said slowly, he leaned over, resting his head on her shoulder. "There is something we could do."
"What?" Jane looked down, eyes wide with innocent excitement. "What Jester?"
Jester groaned. Even when he pulled an obviously awful move (which mind you, he never did unless circumstances deemed it should be so), she never seemed to notice.
"Well Jane," He said, with the air of an old veteran. "When a young man's mind is restless, he turns to thoughts of-"
There were shouts coming from the courtyard. Jane looked up, moving quickly towards the sound. Jester, bereft of his headrest, fell flat on his face.
"Jane!"
"Save your whining Bell-Boy," Jane grinned. "This is the excitement we've waited for!"
Jester lay face down and groaned. Jane seized his ankles, dragging him behind her.
"No, not the stairs Jane!"
….
A note from Mojo:
I hope you tiny mortals have enjoyed the stellar writing skills of my human compatriot. We will return soon, Apurrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
