I don't know if he felt pity for me or was really concerned about my wellbeing, I sighed and turned my head to look out the window. "I don't know, kk...they wouldn't be happy to know that I don't have much time left..itth nearly too late ath it ith.." tears formed in my eyes, I could feel the burn of them as they welled up and threatened to spill over. Even now, I couldn't control my emotions very well. I guess that was one thing I lacked on, if I wasn't angry..I was distraught..and if I wasn't distraught, I was angry..
Those two emotions seemed to just make up the entirety of my life, though now..neither seemed present. I only felt hesitance, regret, guilt, and shame for even telling anyone about my condition and that I wouldn't last much longer with my current state. In the end, I was glad that it was Karkat by my side and not anyone else. Eridan wouldn't give a damn, Aradia would only fuss over me...but Karkat, he was the only one I knew that might be able to accept it in stoic silence. He had blown up at first for not telling anyone sooner, least of all him but he had come around and accept it.
I was dying..and what it came down to, was that Karkat accepted this revelation..he hadn't demanded me to try and get it treated because he probably knew that it was untreatable. There was no cure, not in this case. Not for me..my immune system was far too weak for treatment, it would probably only accerlate the disease that was eating away at me. It had already spread to my lungs and at times it was hard to breathe, so I tried not to strain myself much. Especially at home, I didn't have much to do anymore anyway. Aside from getting together my last will..leaving my shit to people. Well..Karkat, anyway. Because he would probably be the only one I'd ever trust with my things after I was gone. My pets, moreso than anyone else..he'd care for them when I passed on.
"KK.." I looked over at the normally angry male, his features were unnervingly stoic and he was uncharacteristically silent for once. He only looked up at my nickname for him, his eyes showing recognition. "I'm..thorry.." I stated lamely, not knowing what to say for sure. He shook his head silently and reached for my hand, which I allowed him to take and laced my fingers through his. It was a silent comfort, one that I desparately needed. Now more than ever, we had always been close..closer than what was probably considered normal, but in this hour of need..it was..soothing, I supposed. My fears seemed to fall away for now, worry washing away as I held his hand. He smiled a small, somewhat tight smile as he gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "Sollux.." he murmured, shifting to sit on the edge of the bed without letting go of my hand. He leaned close and while it was startling, I pretty much knew what was coming.
Leaning into him a bit, I lifted my head to meet his lips. It was a slow, gentle kiss that the other seemed determined to take his time with. I was all too happy to let it happen, I didn't want him to pull away when he did but we both needed air and he knew better than to try and deprive my body for something it was nearly starving for already. Sighing, I laid my head on his shoulder as he put an arm around me and scooted closer though he wasn't on the edge of the bed anymore. "Karkat.." I murmured softly, looking up at him. "I'm going to leave everything to you.." he seemed startled at first but nodded. If we didn't have much time left, then whatever time we did have left would not be wasted..as long as we were together. Nothing would be wasted, I would not leave this world, regretting that I had not spent my last moments with Karkat Vantas.
As I snuggled up against him, I murmured softly as I closed my eyes probably for the last time. "I'll see you again..."
