Mishima Road Trip


This story has been written by my friend Jan and me. We don't own any of the charactes in this story.
We don't want to offend anybody with this story... And if your favourite character get's beaten up - don't be angry. We love them all, and it's just fun!


Jun wakes up and gets out of bed. Kazuya is still snoring in his bed. Jun's hair is really messy when she looks into the mirror at the wall.

Jun: Wahhha!!!!

Kazuya wakes up and grunts.

Kazuya: What's that noise? What's the matter.
Jun: My hair, my hair. Look at this mess.
Kazuya: Look at mine; Perfect as ever.
Jun (with an angry look on her face): I hate you. I really do. I need to go to the hairdresser.
Kazuya: *grins* Ask Lee, he is familiar with female hairstyles.
Jun: No thanks. And if you make any more jokes about females I will kill you.

A few hours later:
Jun has left the house. In the kitchen Kazuya meets Lee, who is busy applying cucumbers to his face.

Kazuya: You are a girl, you know that?
Lee: Look who it is, Mister Purple Suit.
Kazuya: I am even too bored to knock out your teeth right now.
Lee: If you are bored, I have an idea that would cheer you up and keep you from hurting your li'll brother.
Kazuya: What's that?
Lee: How about "World Domination"?
Kazuya: I'm listening ...
Lee: I have read the newspaper. Throws the newspaper on the table.
Kazuya: You can read?
Lee: Oh shut up you... Anyway: There was an article about a guy called "Tree" or something. Apparently he lives in America or somewhere around there. He seems to think he's the most powerful man in the world. He tries to convince the governments of other countries to follow his lead. So if we could get this guy we're nearly there.
Kazuya: Points at the newspaper. That's the guy?
Lee: Yeah, that's him.
Kazuya: He reminds me of... looks Lee up and down ...oh, never mind. Well, that should be easy.
Lee: So, you're in?
Kazuya: Could you do it without me?
Lee: No.
Kazuya: See?!

Jin enters.

Kazuya: Ah, the lost son is finally coming home.
Jin: I... ehm... stayed at a friend's.
Kazuya: Circles him. Now you are wearing make up, too?
Jin: Rubs his face. No, no, I admit: I stayed at Xiaoyu's... But don't tell mum.
Kazuya: Again?
Jin: She wouldn't let me leave.
Kazuya: Well, ok. With my looks, how could she resist you.
Lee: Snarls.
Jin: So, what are you two up to? Looks at the newspaper. Who's that?
Lee: Someone who will hopefully keep your dad occupied. We were planning to go on a little journey.
Jin: What about mom?
Kazuya: At the hairdresser's.
Jin: Again? That will take ages.
Kazuya: See? Enough time to take over the world.
Lee: What about... You-Know-Who?
Jin: Gran'pa?
Lee: Exactly. The one who is not to be named.
Kazuya: He's playing with his little task force friends. He won't notice.
Lee: Maybe we can surprise him. It's his birthday next week, you know?
Jin: Who cares?
Kazuya: That will indeed be a nice surprise for him: Me ruling the world before him. Maybe it's his last birthday...
Jin: Oh, dad! Couldn't you and Gran'pa just be friends?
Kazuya & Lee: FRIENDS??? HARHARHAR!!!
Jin: Never mind.
Kazuya: So, what are you waiting for, son? Go and get the car! Lee and I will get our stuff.
Jin: Don't forget the hair gel!
Kazuya: Do I look like your uncle Lee to you?
Jin: Nope, your hair doesn't look like you've fallen into a glass of blueberry marmalade.
Lee: Hey!!
Kazuya: Oh, shut up, young Lady.
Lee: *gnarl*
Jin: You two will still argue when mom comes home if we don't hurry.
Kazuya: Well, then go get the DAMN CAR!

Twenty minutes later:
They are preparing the Mercedes for their journey. Kazuya has filled the trunk and the box on the roof with hair styling utensils. Heihachi comes back from his training and sees Lee, Jin and Kazuya fiddling around with the car.

Heihachi: to himself: What are those useless bastards up to now?

At the car:
Jin: I need to go to the toilet before we can leave.
Lee: Then go.
Jin gets into the house while Kazuya and Lee argue about who gets to drive the car. Meanwhile Heihachi sneaks up to the car and climbs onto the roof. He throws out the hair gel and lies down inside the box on the roof. Kazuya wins the argument with a nice punch and Lee limbs over to the other side. Two minutes later Jin arrives and climbs onto the back seat.
Jin: Ready to go.

Kazuya starts the car. *Wrummm*
As they leave the Mishima grounds they come past the huge company logo with Heihachi's face on it. Someone had drawn him a moustache.

Jin: Ha Ha!
Kazuya: I knew you would like it.
Lee: He will kill you.
Kazuya: Not if I kill him first.
Jin: Or worse, he will throw you down that volcano again.
Kazuya: Oh, shut up.
Lee: That's what happens when you argue with your father.
Jin: If I'm not allowed to argue, I will be really bored soon.
Lee: How about we play "I spy"?
Jin: Ok.
Kazuya: But I begin! I spy with my own eye... something that is violet.
Lee: Violent?
Kazuya: Violent!? I am getting violent soon! Violet you idiot.
Jin: Uncle Lee!
Kazuya: Damn. That took me ages to come up with.
Lee: Still making jokes about my hair? It said "Lasts up to a week" and it's been a month now.
Jin: My turn now. I spy something that is violet.
Lee: Ok, I got it.
Jin: No. Seriously!
Kazuya: My business suit? But that's purple!
Jin: Ok, that was far to easy.
Kazuya: I spy ... something that is violet.
Lee: You two are assholes.
Jin: Hm... Let me see... No violet at the car.. We had uncle Lee's hair. We had your suit... My Jacket!
Kazuya: You're right.
Lee: What about me.
Kazuya: Yeah. You are violet too. We know.
Jin: I spy with my own eye... something that is white...
Kazuya: No, no, his hair is violet at the moment.
Jin: No, really, something white.
Kazuya: The clouds...
Lee: The markings on the road...
Kazuya: Someone's teeth...
Lee: The white in someone's eyes...
Kazuya: The white letters on the controls...
Jin: No, something white and angry...

Jin looks out through the side window. The others follow his gaze and spot Heihachi who is hanging upside down from the roof and looking at them with a very mean look on his face.

Lee: Wahhh! Where did he come from?!
Heihachi: Do you think I am stupid. When I see this troublemaker of a son and you two leaving in the car, something is going on... So I followed you and hid in the luggage box. (Looks at Kazuya) You will stop this car at once and let me in.
Kazuya: Let's play something else. Let's play "Throwing Heihachi".

He hits the brake and the box including Heihachi shoots of the roof and onto the road. The case closes on top of Heihachi. One minute goes past. Then the case opens and an angry, steaming Heihachi emerges.

Lee: Thank you, Kazuya, for killing us all.

Ten minutes later:
Heihachi is driving the car. He has put the box back onto the roof and after he knocked out Jin, Lee and Kazuya he put them up there as well. (Attached to the numberplate is a sign: ON THE ROAD TO HELL!)

Meanwhile... back home:
Jun comes back from the hairdresser's. On the fridge she finds a note:

"Hi mom,
Dad, Uncle Lee and I are out
to take over the World.
Will be back soon. Don't wait for us.
Jin"


Jun: Damn, like little children. *yells* Heihachi!? Hei-ha-chiiiiiii?!

No answer.

Jun: Where the heck is he?

The door bell rings. Jun opens the door. Outside Xiaoyu is waiting.

Xiaoyu: Hi, I'm here to see Jin.
Jun: He's not here. His useless father and uncle have talked him into something stupid. I was just planning to go looking for them.
Xiaoyu: Maybe I should come with you.
Jun: Ok. Let's go. They will have a little head start by now. I think we should take the Porsche.

And so:
Wrummm, Wrummm. Skreee.....

Xiaoyu: How do you plan to find them?
Jun: Oh, that's easy. We'll just follow the bodies lying around. And if that won't work we will just follow the "Lee was here" grafittis.

Somewhere else:
Three people wake up finding themselves on the roof of the car.

Kazuya: Hey, Jin, Lee, wake up. That bastard. He put us out here.
Jin: Let's get away.
Lee: Good idea.
Kazuya: Hey, there is a red traffic light. Jump!

They can get away unseen.

Lee: And now?
Kazuya: Now we tramp.

They stand on the side of the road, thumbs out. The cars go by without stopping.

Jin: Damn, that doesn't work.
Lee: You scare them.
Jin: Me? Maybe dad's glowing eyes or your blue hair.
Lee: That's violet.
Jin: Whatever.
Kazuya: We have to set up a trap. Lee, you show them a little leg and we will hide behind a tree.
Lee: Why do I always have to show a little leg?
Jin: Yours are better shaved than ours.
Kazuya: Stop arguing and just do it.
Lee: *gnagnagna*

Lee pulls up his trousers. A big truck comes up the road. As the driver sees Lee he sounds his horn and rushes by with great speed.

Jin: Damn!
Kazuya: Hey, look. There's a Ferrari coming. Come on Lee, show us a bit more.

Lee pulls his trousers further up. The Ferrari stops and the driver gets out.

Driver: Hey, do you think I am gay? I will show you...

Kazuya sneaks up from behind and knocks him unconscious. Meanwhile Jin starts the car. Lee and Kazuya jump in. Lee gets pushed to the back. Jin hits the gas and off they are.

Lee: There isn't enough space here.
Kazuya: Shut up or walk.
Jin: Dad, can I get a car like this?
Kazuya: Sure, son. If you get a job and work real hard...
Jin: gnagnagna....!
Kazuya: nasty giggle
Jin: You get me a car like this and I won't tell mum that you made jokes about females again, and called uncle Lee a girl.
Kazuya: You don't know the things SHE calls uncle Lee behind his back.
Jin: First of all you are a pig and I don't know why mom chose you.... And second, you called him GIRL. She wouldn't call uncle Lee something YOU are.
Kazuya: You have a point. She wouldn't call him handsome, intelligent, strong....
Lee: You two are... JIN, look at the road!!!

Jin turns around.

Jin: Shut up!

He loses control over the car and they hit a tree. Next to the tree is a sign "Three hundred year old oak".

Jin: That tree wasn't there a minute ago.
Kazuya: That tree has been there the last 300 years... You just ruined your chance to get a car. I was thinking of getting you a Honda, at least one of us should drive a Japanese car.
Lee: I have a Japanese car.
Kazuya: Oh, please. A Mitsubishi is not a car.
Jin: What do we do now?
Kazuya: Why don't you come up with an idea. After all YOU crashed the Ferrari.

Meanwhile:
The girls are following the signs of destruction and "Lee was here"

Jun: I am afraid we have to find a petrol station soon.

Somewhere else:
Heihachi has driven the car up to a volcano and gets out to get rid of at least one of his annoying successors, just to find the roof deserted. He growls and gets back into the car.

Back at the Ferrari wreckage:

Kazuya: Since I am not getting any answers here, I suggest we walk. We can get a car in town.

They start walking along the road.

Lee: We could shortcut through the forest.
Kazuya: That's your first idea for ages.
Lee: Well, I did come up with the whole idea.

So they walk through the forest. After a few miles they meet a girl with a red hood, a basket full of cake and vine and a knife.

Lee: Kazuya? Isn't that the girl from the second tournament?
Kazuya: The one who nearly kicked your ass? Yeah, that's her.
Lee: Ok, that's it. I had to live with the embarrassment for long enough now. I will nick her basket.

Five minutes later they are having a picnic with cake and vine while the girl watches them tied to a tree. Afterwards Jin isn't able to stand straight, Kazuya isn't able to think straight and Lee isn't able to behave straight.

Kazuya: I think we wanted to go somewhere... but I can't remember.
Jin: We wanted to follow the path through the wood but I can't find it.
Lee: Not if you wiggle your sweet little butt like that.

They decide to stumble further along the path. After some more miles the meet they big bad wolf.

Big Bad Wolf: Have you seen a girl with a red hood, and a basket full with cake and vine?
Jin: No cake and vine left.
Lee: Yeah, pal. But she wouldn't appreciate you like I would.
Big Bad Wolf: If there is no cake and vine left, what should I eat? nasty look on his face Why don't I eat YOU?
Kazuya: Because we don't have the time for this. We were on our way to... damn, I forgot again.
Big Bad Wolf: As if you're having a choice.
Lee: You know what, Mr. Wolf... You are really sweet and so, but if you are also willing to eat these two I am not interested.

Jin stumbles and falls on top of the wolf knocking him out.

Jin: Ooops, sorry. I think he is out of service. (to the wolf:) Never mess with a Mishima!
Kazuya: Never mind. Come on, we have to go on.

They had to crawl through the thicket for the next thirty minutes. When they emerged on the other side their clothes were torn.

Jin: There is a petrol station. I bet there we can get a car.

Meanwhile at the same petrol station:
Jun has gone into the shop to pay for the petrol and Xiaoyu comes with her to get something to drink.
The three boys climb over the wall.

Lee: Hey, look, that Porsche has just been refilled. Let's nick this...
Kazuya: Good idea, I know how to drive one of those.
Jin: But I want to drive.
Kazuya: No, no, no. Remember that Ferrari.
Jin: *grumble*
Lee: I ...
Kazuya: BACKSEAT!
Lee: Damn. Why can't you steal a car that at least has a backseat.

So they all jump into the Porsche and take off. *screeechh*
Jun and Xiaoyu rush out of the shop just in time to see the Porsche vanish down the road.

Jun: Oh, noooooo. Kazuya will kill me.
Xiaoyu: I think we should go to the police. They will find the car. After all it's a very unique car.

In the car:
Lee: If I have to sit back here, can I at least have some music.
Kazuya: Well, ok. Let's see what kind of music this Porsche-driver listens to.

Kazuya switches on the CD Player.

Kazuya: That's odd. I could swear that's the last CD I listened to in my car.
Lee: What a stupid idea I had... I thought you were the only one who listens to this rubbish.
Jin: I listen to that as well, when I drive dad's... ehm.
Kazuya: WHAT?
Jin: ... ehm ... lawn mower!! That's it!!!

Thirty minutes later they are still on the road.

Lee: Hey, has anyone noticed that police car back there. It seems they are following us.
Jin: Why would they do that?
Lee: Maybe because I'm so good looking and they...
Jin & Kazuya: Oh, shut up you ... girl...
Kazuya: They probably can't even see you back there.
Jin: Maybe they follow us because uncle Lee's hair is a violation of the laws of good taste.
Lee: Maybe they follow is because you two look like criminals.
Jin: Maybe they follow us, because we have stolen the car!
Kazuya & Lee: Damn!!!
Kazuya: Ok, stay calm. Maybe the idiot who owns the car has left his papers on the... yeah, here they are. And a driving licence... Yes, there is one two... and he looks a bit like me. You two, behave! I am going to stop the car.

Kazuya parks the car on the side of the road and rolls down the window. The police car stops as well and the officer comes up to the Porsche.

Police Officer: This car has been reported stolen. Can I see your licence and the papers please?
Kazuya: *getting a bit nervous* Surely, I guess this is just a misunderstanding.

Kazuya hands him the papers. The police officer looks at the driving licence, then at Kazuya, then back at the licence. He then looks into the papers, walks to the front of the car, looks at the numberplate and then returns to the window. He hands Kazuya the papers.

Police Officer: I am sorry, Mr. Mishima, everything seems to be alright, this was indeed a misunderstanding. You can continue.

The police officer walks away.

Lee: What a stupid idiot. I thought this car was reported stolen, and we obviously did it, so why would he let us go?
Kazuya: Don't ask me. Maybe he was to afraid to arrest us.
Lee: Don't be ridiculous. Haven't you seen his gun?
Jin: Can I see the papers for a minute?
Kazuya: Certainly.
Jin: Maybe he didn't arrest you, because it's YOUR car.
Kazuya: What??
Jin: Look here, that's your name...and your address... so unless there is another Kazuya Mishima living with us this is YOUR car!
Lee: Ha Ha. Kazuya has stolen his own car! Ha Ha! Such an idiot!
Kazuya: Shut up! It was your idea to steal the Porsche, not mine! So you have stolen my car! I will sue you. But first I will break your nose!
Jin: Hello? Why don't we just continue. When this is your car, then we don't have a problem, right?
Kazuya: Well, I have a problem. If this is my car, how did it get here?
Lee: Must have been lonely and went looking for you...
Kazuya: How can one person be as stupid as you?
Lee: Living 20 years with you as a role model did the trick.
Kazuya: You wanna settle this right here, right now?!!
Jin: Ok, you two get out and settle your conflict, and in the meantime I continue and take over the world...
Lee: You, shut up!
Jin: Then stop arguing.

Kazuya hits the brake.

Kazuya: Anybody wants to get out?
Jin: I know the answer to that question: Uncle Lee!!!
Lee: Only if you get out first.
Kazuya: GET OUT, BOTH OF YOU!!!
Jin: That's a good idea, there is a motel over there. See the sign? It says "Free Cable TV"
Lee: Sounds interesting.
Kazuya: No way! There are no pools in these things.
Lee: Oh, Kazuya Baby cannot live without the comfort he has at home!?
Kazuya: Do I look like I would park my car here... someone might steal it.
Lee: Don't worry, we will look after YOU.
Jin: Fine, then find a hotel with Cable TV and Pool. And if you want to find a place to stay over night, we should hurry. It's getting late.

Kazuya starts the car again.

Somewhere on the road:
A badly hurt big bad wolf sneaks along the side of the road, when a huge Mercedes comes down the road and hits him. All he can see is the numberplate "Mishima".

Big Bad Wolf: I DIN'T MESS WITH YOU!!!

Meanwhile at the police station:
Jun and Xiaoyu stand outside when the Mishima Mercedes comes up to them.

Jun: Oh, oh. Here they come. They must have heard about the car.

But Jun is surprised to see Heihachi's head appear.

Jun: You?
Heihachi: You?
Jun: Where is the rest?
Heihachi: I was going to ask that...
Jun: I thought they were with you?
Heihachi: Were!!! They got away. And what are you doing here.
Jun: We followed you, till the car got stolen!
Heihachi: HIS Porsche? He will kill you!!!
Jun: *getting nervous* Don't you think they points at police station will find the car?

The door of the police station opens and an officer comes out.

Police Officer: We have found the car.
Jun: Thank god.
Police Officer: That was really embarrassing for us... Maybe you should be more careful before you report a car stolen which is not...
Jun: What? But it was stolen!
Police Officer: When we stopped the car and checked the driver it was Mr. Mishima Junior.
Jun: You must be joking! How did he get the car? Was he alone?
Police Officer: He was accompanied by a young man looking exactly like him and a lady with violet hair.
Jun: That's them.
Heihachi: Where did you find them?
Police Officer: Just twenty miles west from here.

Heihachi jumps into his car and before Jun can stop him he is gone leaving her and Xiaoyu behind.

Jun: Great. What do we do now?
Xiaoyu: We could rent a car.
Jun: I guess we don't have a choice.

And so they rent a car and follow Heihachi west.

Meanwhile:
The three men have found a hotel where Kazuya is willing to park his car. In their torn clothes they enter and go to the reception. The receptionist throws them a strange look.

Kazuya: Could we have a suite for three?
Receptionist: This is an exquisite hotel, the prices are according.
Kazuya: Yeah, yeah, whatever.
Receptionist: Will the gentlemen be able to afford the room?
Kazuya: Lee, are you able to translate that for me?
Lee: He wants to fool us, I guess.
Jin: Dad, why don't you just buy the hotel and send this guy home.
Kazuya: That's a good idea. Hey you, listen: Send me the manager!

The receptionist disappears and five minutes later he reappears accompanied by a man in a very expensive suit.

Manager: What can I do for you, gentlemen?
Kazuya: I want to buy this hotel.
Manager: Wait a moment, I know you. I have seen your face somewhere before. Oh, now I know! Very nice try, you almost fooled me, Mr. Mishima. Trying to buy your own hotel.

He turns around and looks at the receptionist.

Manager: Give these men our best suit and you will personally care for their luggage.
Lee: What a shame we don't have any but you can carry me.

Later in the hotel room. They are now dressed in new clothes.

Lee: Not your day, dear brother?! Stealing your own car, buying your own hotel... what's next?
Kazuya: Killing my own brother?
Jin: I'm going to watch TV...
Kazuya: But it's the time of the day when nothing's on.
Lee: Well, nothing except the barely dressed young girls.
Kazuya: Don't be silly. How about some live action. Have you seen all the beautiful girls down at the hotel bar?
Jin: But the ones on TV are easier to get.
Kazuya: You are joking. Come on, I'll show you how it's done.
Lee: *sarcastically* Jun would appreciate that.
Jin: But I can't. I love Xiaoyu.
Kazuya: Okay.
Jin: Okay? Who are you and what have you done to the devil inside?
Kazuya: I am just a caring father.
Lee: *cough* YOU?! Hahaha... *fits of laughter*
Kazuya: Okay. That will keep uncle Lee busy for a while. He scares the ladies with his hair style and clothes. Come on now, Jin.
Jin: Can't we go swimming?
Lee: Whatever you do, I'm coming with you.

So they went down to the pool.

At the pool bar:
Lee: *pointing at a man dressed like a girl* Wow! Look at her.
Jin: Uncle Lee...
Lee: Shut up! I saw her first.
Kazuya: Don't worry, WE are not interested. SHE is not our type.

Kazuya and Jin laugh.

Lee: You two don't see true beauty.

Lee leaves them.

Jin: Whatever. *turns to Kazuya* Let's get into the water.
Kazuya: Good idea. I don't want to see that. *points at Lee*
Jin: Is he stupid or what?
Kazuya: It's not real Mishima-blood in his veins.

They jump into the water.

During that time...
Jun and Xiaoyu are following the signs the men left along the road.

Xiaoyu: It is getting dark soon. I guess we won't find them tonight.
Jun: Maybe we should stop at a hotel.
Xiaoyu: Look, there is a five star hotel. If we could stay at one of those...
Jun: Oh, that is no problem. We own that one.
Xiaoyu: Wow!
Jun: Okay, there is no reason to continue tonight. We might as well stay here.

And so they went into the same hotel where the boys arrived earlier on.

Somewhere else:
Heihachi: Talking to himself. Damn! Where are those useless children. When I catch them I'll throw them into the nearest volcano I can find. But I guess for tonight I'll have to find a hotel.

In the pool:
Jin: Da-had!
Kazuya: If you yell that again I will kill you!
Jin: Sorry. But look at that: Uncle Lee is kissing that "girl".
Kazuya: Oh no!
Jin: And now "she" has hit him.
Kazuya: He must have realised his mistake...
Jin: About time...
Kazuya: Come on. Let's get out of the water. *grins* He can use our support now. *evil laughter*
Jin: Hey, uncle Lee, having fun?
Lee: Shut up!
Kazuya: Who is your lovely girlfriend?
Lee: That could have happened to you too!!!
Kazuya: No way!
Jin: It was quiet obvious that SHE was a HE!
Lee: Then why didn't you tell me?
Kazuya: You wouldn't listen. Maybe we should show you how it's done. Jin, what do you think of those two?
Jin: Okay.

They walk up to two ladies who have their back turned.

Kazuya: Hey ladies!

They turn around.

Kazuya: Jun!?
Jin: Xiaoyu?!
Jun: Were you two trying to flirt with other girls????
Lee: *laughs* First he steals his own car, then he buys his own hotel and now he makes a move on his own girlfriend... And Jin. As father as son. HAHA

Kazuya and Jin grab Lee and throw him into the pool. The water around him turns violet. When his head reappears above the water it's silver-white again.

Jin: Didn't you wash your hair?
Lee: Wash?
Kazuya: You know... water... soap...
Lee: Sounds... unnatural...
Kazuya: Even Jun does that, so it cannot be unnatural.
Jun: You did realise I am here?
Kazuya: Not a good time to remind me of your presence...

Jin sensing an argument coming up grabs Xiaoyu by the arm and pulls her away.

Kazuya: What did you do to my car???
Jun: I did nothing... it got stolen...
Kazuya: You let somebody steal MY car?
Jun: Well I didn't expect it to be stolen. Who would steal your car? Only someone really stupid would steal a Porsche with this unique colouring!
Lee: That's what I said!
Kazuya: It was YOUR idea.
Jun: So YOU took the car at the petrol station? And all three of you were too blind to realise.
Kazuya: We were drunk... And we needed a car.
Jun: Where is Jin?
Kazuya: How should I know?
Jun: He is your son?
Kazuya: Then he is probably with a girl.
Jun: Xiaoyu? Where is she?
Kazuya: See!!
Jun: You think...
Lee: You should know him better than to assume that he thinks...

Kazuya pushed Lee again to send him back into the pool.

Kazuya: One more word and I will drown you.
Jun: Why are you such a hostile person...
Kazuya: Oh please... Spare me your lectures... Go, find Jin and annoy him!

Jun pushes Kazuya into the pool as well. Then she walks away looking for Jin. Lee grins at Kazuya.

Lee: Being pushed by a girl...
Kazuya: No, no, Lee. YOU did not push me.

They both climb out and grab their towels.

Lee: So what do we do now?
Kazuya: Do whatever you want. I will go up to the room and watch TV.
Lee: I'll be at the bar.
Kazuya: I keep that in mind, in case I need someone to beat up.

And so Kazuya walks up to his hotel room. When he enters, he catches Jin and Xiaoyu on the couch kissing.

Jin: Oh... you are back? We... were... just watching TV....
Kazuya: Of course...
Jin: Don't tell mum...
Kazuya: She will find out anyway. She has gone looking for you and eventually she will find you.

Someone knocks at the door.

Kazuya: And there she is...
Jin: Dad, please...
Kazuya: Don't call me dad!!!

Xiaoyu and Jin hide behind the couch. Kazuya opens the door. Jun is standing outside.

Jun: I couldn't find them.
Kazuya: They are probably out for a walk.
Jun: You think so?
Kazuya: Not if he is MY son.
Jun: You really scare me.
Kazuya: I will help you with your search. They hide behind the couch.
Jun: That little trick worked last time and you had a good laugh. This time I wont believe you. Better help me looking for them.
Kazuya: Okay. Let's go, let's start with the garden.

They leave the room.

Xiaoyu: HE told her!!
Jin: So? She never believes him. This is now the safest place in the whole hotel.
Xiaoyu: Then this was really nice of him.
Jin: NICE? He just decided that it's much more fun to annoy mum. Mum is number three in his "Annoyance Hitlist". I am just number four.
Xiaoyu: So who are number one and two?
Jin: Come on, even you should be able to see that. Grandpa and Uncle Lee.

In the garden:
Kazuya: Maybe we should have a look around the outdoor pool?
Jun: It's so dark out here. I can't see anything.
Kazuya: The perfect place...
Jun: What do you mean...

In this darkness Kazuya's normally black eyes were now glowing red.

Kazuya: Perfect... if you don't want to be seen.
Jun: Kazuya, we were trying to find Jin, not make a new one.
Kazuya: Why are you so worried about him?
Jun: He is my son, are you not worried?
Kazuya: No, why should I be? He is old enough, he can take care of himself. Besides Xiaoyu doesn't look that scary to me. *grins* Not as scary as you anyway.

Jun slaps him on his arm and sticks our her tongue.

Kazuya: Well, it's still dark, and still no one can see us.
Jun: Ok, but only five minutes, then we continue our search.

Kazuya throws her onto the grass and starts kissing her. Then he takes off his shirt. Lee, on his way to the outdoor pool, nearly stumbles over them.

Lee: What... So this is your idea of watching TV?
Kazuya: What the heck are you doing here?
Lee: I wanted to go swimming...
Kazuya: Then go!!

He kicks Lee into the pool. Then he grabs his shirt and Jun's hand and pulls her behind a bush.

Here we will leave them and since we can't go back to the hotel room we will accompany uncle Lee. That might be a bit boring but at least the "under 18s" can stay with us. ;-)

Uncle Lee, angry that Kazuya has thrown him into the water for the third time today, swims up and down, down and up and down again. Still angry he gets out of the pool and returns inside. Here he goes to the hotel bar and orders a drink. After a couple of drinks his mood changes.

Lee: to the barkeeper: ... and then he stole his own car *nasty laugh* ... an' then... an' then... *hick-up* an' then... I need another drink... and then he buys his own hotel...
he's not my brother, he's adopted... and father is not my father... he is adopted... and I'm adopted... we are all adopted...
an' then... he makes a move on his own girlfriend... an' now ... they are out there...
an' he sold his soul to the devil... an' now he's the devil... and his son Jin...
Barkeeper: I think you've had enough!
Lee: .. he's the devil... we are all the devil...
... and he said my car is not a car... and his damned Porsche is faster...
and then we met the wolf... he is not a Mishima...
poor devil...
*he pauses to think* (good joke, I know...)
devil... has to keep up with my brother...
I don't want to be in the devil's shoes... I don't like sneakers...
And it's all the damned volcanoes fault... HE threw him in an' then... give me another drink.
... and then he threw HIM in ... and now HE wants to throw us all in... an' his hairstyle is ridiculous...
And my hair won't hold... but they all have a funny peak... except for HIM who is not to be named... and her too, she went to the hairdresser...
Hairdressers, I don't like hairdressers... All violet... violet... I hate violet... and no peak, won't hold...
Barkeeper: I think you should go to bed!
Lee: .. an' then... an' then... he threw me into the pool. Better than the volcano... but why me...
an' then .. he said my robot is stupid... it's not!!! It's my preciousssss... they all want my precioussss... but it's MINE!!!!

Two guys grab Lee and get him out of the bar... He wanders into the room with the computer games...

Meanwhile:
Jun and Kazuya sneak back into the hotel...

Kazuya: Why don't you come with me to my room? I bet Jin is in bed already, so you shouldn't worry.
Jun: Ok, I will come with you, but I will check on Jin...

So they enter the suit... The first thing Jun does is look into Jin's room only to find him lying in bed sleeping.

Kazuya: I told you...

When Jun has closed the door Xiaoyu comes out of Jin's bathroom and climbs into his bed. Kazuya and Jun disappear in their bedroom. No one has realised that Lee is missing. Not even Lee himself.

Next morning:
Jun wakes up, her hair a complete mess again.

Jun: KAZUYA!!!! I'll kill you. What have you done to my hair???
Kazuya: Good morning to you too. What have YOU done to MY hair... No, wait. *feels his hair* Perfect as ever...

Jun grabs the hair gel bottle and throws it at Kazuya who can get out through the door just in time. In the living room he meets Xiaoyu and Jin fully dressed already.

Kazuya: Hide, Jun is here.
Jin: We meet at the breakfast table then. Come on, Xi. Ah, before I forget: Lee didn't come home last night.

They leave the room.

Down at the breakfast table:
Jun and Kazuya arrive and find only Jin and Xiaoyu sitting there with their orange juice. No sign of Lee.

Jin: We found uncle Lee. He is asleep in the game room... Apparently he tried to beat you up... He is at a Tekken machine but his score is Kazuya 6 and Lee 0 ...
Kazuya: *evil laugh*
Jin: Anyway I will get me some cornflakes now...

Jin leaves the table.
After a few minutes he returns... without cornflakes... and slightly breathless...

Jin: Guess what I've found between the cereals...
Kazuya: Milk
Xiaoyu: Sugar
Jin: Gran'pa...
Kazuya: Never heard of it, what does it taste like...
Jin: No, no, granpa, old man, stupid hairstyle, loves volcanoes...
Kazuya: Oh, He-Who-Is-Not-To-Be-Mentioned???...
Jun: Old nearly-bald head?
Xiaoyu: Heihachi???
Jin, Jun & Kazuya: Bless you!

Heihachi comes up to the table obviously in a bad mood and growling.

Heihachi: There you are. Have I finally found you? Your time is up!
Kazuya: Again?
Heihachi: Don't worry you will be the first. And it will be my pleasure to throw you into that volcano once and for all.
Kazuya: I wont stay there, I thought you got that by now!?

Lee who has finally woken up comes to the table.

Lee: Good morning. *sees Heihachi* WAHHH! He's here?
Heihachi: As you can see! It's the volcano for you too this time...
Lee: No, no, spare me!!!
Kazuya: Stop whining!!!
Lee: That's easy for you to say. You have done it before.
Jun: There are children here... Where are they???

Jin and Xiaoyu have fled when they saw Heihachi approaching.

Heihachi: You will come with me!
Kazuya: No! Why should we...
Heihachi: You wanted to take over the world without me!!!
Jun: How were you planning to do that anyway?
Lee: We wanted to throw down this guy "Tree"...
Jun: You mean the guy from America?
Kazuya: That's the one...
Jun: Then why are you going west??? In a car???
Lee: Have you ever had a look at a map, lady? It's us on the right and them on the left... so we have to go west...
Jun: Ever thought of going the other way around?
Lee: Other way around???
Kazuya: *hitting his forehead* I knew this was a stupid idea.
Jun: Just as stupid as taking the car... ever heard of ships or planes???
Heihachi: Hello??? I am still here, and I am still angry.
Kazuya: Lee, come on, let's end this.

They both grab Heihachi and throw him into the pool.

Kazuya: Well since we wont get to America this time... let's go home... But "Tree", do you hear me, I don't give up!!

And so they went home. Lee driving the Mishima Mercedes with Heihachi tied together and placed in the box on the roof, Jin and Xiaoyu on the backseat and Kazuya in his Porsche with Jun next to him.

THE END