Title: Can't let go, Won't let go
Chapter 1: Talking to the Moon
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Victorious or "Talking to the Moon."
Summary: Cat has been distancing herself from her friends over the past few weeks. Now it's been five days since anyone but Jade has heard from her. So Andre decides to go check on her, but the problem is bigger than he thinks. Will Jade and Andre be able to help?
Andre's point of view
I sit in my room pressing random keys on my keyboard, before you realize it the words to start flowing out:
I know you somewhere out there somewhere far away
I want you back. I want you back
my neighbors think I'm crazy but they don't understand
you're all I had. your all I had.
Why am I singing "Talking to the Moon." It's a great song, but so depressing.Instantly my mind answer: you know exactly why you're singing that song. Where is she? Why hasn't she called back? Something wrong. I let out a frustrated sigh. Cat hasn't been to school in five days. The only one of us who has even seen or heard from her is Jade and she won't tell us what's wrong. I've sent like 15 text messages and call 10 times, over the last four days, she just won't respond. Aw man I'm starting to sound like some creepy stalker guy, but that's not the case at all, I'm just worried about her. I wouldn't be too worried if she just missed a couple of days of school, but a few weeks ago she started distancing herself from everyone. The bubbly happy Cat that everyone knew and loved was starting to disappeared, but for some reason I felt like I was the only one who was noticing it. The only one besides Jade that is. I look at my clock it is 9:30 on a Friday night if she doesn't answer any of my texts or calls back who knows when I'll hear from her again. Tori, Robbie, Beck, and me tried to go see her earlier but her parents gave us this lame excuse that she was sick and that it could be contagious. I couldn't take it anymore I had to talk to her. I throw on my sneakers and told my mom I had to go borrow some notes from a classmate, and with that I was out the door.
Cat's house was only 15 min. away but, when I made it there all the lights are off. I couldn't go beating on somebody's door at this time of night demanding to see their daughter. Why did you even bothered to come. If you were really that worried you would've said something to her parents earlier but you just remained silent as they turned you away. You're so pathetic. I yelled at myself. I had no right to feel frustrated that they turned us away when I didn't say anything earlier. The words were there in my head but they wouldn't come out no matter what. Cat is our friend we haven't seen her in five days and we're really worry. She's not even returning our texts, if she was sick she would at less answer her phone and let us know what was wrong and that she's….alive! The last word jars me for my thoughts. But no I said nothing and now I'm just sitting in my car like a fool. I start my engine to drive away when I see a small figure exited the house, it's Cat she's dressed in her Hollywood Arts sweats. What was she doing out this late at night, who are you to be asking that question my mind tells me. I decide to follow to see what she's up to and make sure that she's safe. She goes to the park. I know this park we've been here plenty of times, all of us, I park my car and head up on foot behind her. She makes her way to the top of a cliff, we all came out here one night to look at the stars together; Cat, Jade, Tori, Beck, Robbie, and me. I stand back and watch as she dances around with her eyes close. I think to myself she must really be feeling better. Start walking towards her doing my best not to startle her, until I realize how dangerously close to the edge she's gotten. I raced over and grabbed her, pulling her back is one of her leg swings over the edge. "Little Red are you okay you almost fell off the edge," my voice is filled with relief that I made to her in time. That is until I hear her responses, "No, no you're not supposed to be here.. No one supposed to be here." "Well it's a good thing I was. You could've hurt yourself." I state taking her hand and leading her away from the edge. Her body stiffened and she refuses to move. "Why are you here?" She asked. "I was hoping your parents would let me speak to you, we had all came by earlier but they turned us away." I answer. "Cat what are you did out here this late at night, trying to kill yourself?" I playful joke with the little redhead.
She looks up at me with tears in her eyes, "It's not a game!" She yell. "Cat? What's wrong tal…" She cuts me off. "I can't do this. It's too much. I'm so tired of trying." She turns her back to me and makes her way back towards the edge. I grab her hand. "Let go," she screams. "You don't know what I'm go through. None of you do." I'm shocked by her response, eyes widen I taken a step back but I don't let go, I can't let go. "If you jump, then I'm going which you," I respond without even thinking. A look of shock appears on her face. "You can't you have people who depend on you. What about your mom and dad. What about your grandma she needs you more than anybody." She says attempting to push me away. "But I need you. And I'm not letting go, so if we fall we fall together." I tell her as I tightened my grip on her hands. She shakes her head the tears flowing like raindrops, "You don't even know why I wanted to die. You don't even know what's going on. Why are you doing this to me." "Because were friends and I can't imagine a world without your smiling face." I respond. "You're just saying that. Everyone's just pretending. Pretending I'm special. Pretending I matter to them. My parents are always fighting over my brother's weird behavior. They think I'm starting to act just like him. No one takes me seriously. The doctors say that I'm bipolar and my parents agree, they put me on medication. I don't like it. I don't feel like myself, and if I can be me what's the point in living." She screams. I pull her into a hug and she cries into my shirt. "I know this selfish, but will you live for me?" I ask. "And I will live for you, and make sure no matter how heavy the burden is you'll never have to carry alone," I add. She falls to her knees and cries. I don't let go. We stay like this for what feels like hours in comfortable silence until she speaks again her voice cracking. "I can't go home. I left them a note I can't face them now, not now. I can't even begin to imagine the looks on their faces." she says. "I'm sure they'll just be happy to see that you're alright." I respond. "No. They'll lock me up in some hospital!" she yells. "I won't let them. Look, just let me call and let them know that you're safe, okay. I promise I want say where you are if you don't want me to. You won't have to worry about anyone yelling at you. There are some hotels couple blocks down the road we can stay there for the night." She shakes her head in agreement and we get up and walked back to my car. I don't let go until we make it to the car. We drive to the nearest hotel and ask for a room with two beds. Once we get to the room I help Cat into her bed. Then I take out my cell phone to call Jade, they may take the news better for her than for me considering that her and Cat have been friends since preschool.
It's almost 2 in the morning I know Jade is probably asleep but I'm not afraid of the repercussions of waking her. I'll take whatever punishment she dishes out the next time I see her. I called and texted her like 10 times until she finally answered I could tell by her voice she was wide awake. "Harris I don't have time to deal with you right now." Jade yelled. "Jade this is really important is about Cat.." She cuts me off. "What do you know! Her parents called me two hours ago and said they found a suicide letter, they don't know if she's alive or….." I could hear her voice cracking. "That's why I call. She safe right here with me …" She cuts me off again. "Where are you I'm coming to get her. Of all the crazy things she's ever done…." This time I cut her off "No you're not! I promised her that she wouldn't have to worry about people yelling at her. And right now your angry Jade, too anger." I tell her. "You're damn right I am Harris. My best friend left home with a suicide note on her bed." She yells. "And coming down here and yelling isn't going to make things better, especially not right now." I respond. She softened her tone, "Andre. I need to see her. I need to know that she's safe." she says her voice breaking. "She is. I promise," I respond. "Harris if anything happens to her I swear I'll…." She silent for a moment. "Please, please bring her back safe." I had never heard Jade beg before but I wasn't about to soften my stance. "You know I will or I'll died trying. Good night Jade." After that I hang up the phone and I look over to see Cat sitting up staring at me. "Why are you doing this? Why are you helping me?" She asked. I chuckled lightly, "My first day at Cal Junior High. I walked in and it was like going from being a big fish in a small pond to a small fish in the middle of the ocean. I had no friends there until you came over and introduced yourself, later that day you introduced me to Jade. When it was time for us to go to High School, it was your idea to audition for Hollywood Arts. If we didn't listen to you we would have never tried. Then you ended up introducing Jade to Beck, and Robbie to all of us. Our circle of friends would've never started if it wasn't for you. So what kind of friend would I be if I abandoned you?" I tell her. She gives me a half smile. I laid down in my bed dreading the next phone call I had to make. I had 25 missed calls and 10 missed texts. I sighed as I press one of the miss calls. "ANDRE HARRIS WHERE ARE YOU?" My mother screamed as I hold the phone away from my ear. "I'm sorry I meant to call you sooner, but a friend of mine is in trouble and they need you right now. I can't abandon them. You guys raised me better than that. I'm really sorry I wish I could tell you more now but I can't and I won't be home until tomorrow, just know that we're safe." I tell her. I think she can hear the fear my voice. "What can I do to help." She asked. "Pray for us mom," I respond. "I'll tell you everything I can tomorrow. I love you Mama, good tonight." I added. "I always pray for you, and I'll say a special prayer for your friend. I love you too tonight." She says sounding defeated.
"You really in a lot of trouble aren't you?" Cat asked with sadness in her eyes. I gave her a smile, "Nothing I can't handle," I respond. "This is all my fault. You should've just let me…" I cut her off immediately. "No it's not your fault and I'm happy you didn't…. Look I'd rather face the combined wrath of Jade, my parents, and your parents than ever lose you." She got up off her bed and came and laid next to me. No words needed to be spoken, I just held her in my arms until she fell asleep.
The next morning I spent hours talking Cat into going back home. I promise her that me and Jade would be there for her. And reluctantly she agreed. By the time we arrived to the Valentine home Jade was already there. She grabbed Cat and held her tightly, "Please, please don't ever scare me like that again." Jade said to her in a soft voice. Very few people have seen Jade's soft side she only shows it to the people closest to her. "What in God's name were you thinking," a voice yelled. Jade released her grip as Cat retreated behind me. "Mr. Valentine," I started. "Yelling is not going to make anything better it's only going to make it worse." He let out a loud frustrated sigh. Cat's mom put her arms around her husband. "He's right. We just all need to sit down and talk about it calmly." She walked over to Cat and held her tightly then she led her to the couch. "Cat why would you want to kill yourself." Mrs. Valentine asked. "It was too much, the doctors and medicine.." Mr. Valentine cut her off. "The doctors and medicine are to help you." He yelled. As Cat's eyes begin to tear up and frantically searched the room for any signs of hope, I found myself yelling the word she was afraid to say. "She doesn't like the way they make her feel. She feels like she's a zombie when she takes the medicine." "Andre, I know you're her friend but these doctors only have her best interests in mind." Mr. Valentine yells.
"I may not have a medical degree, but I know that before she started taking that medicine the girl I love was happy and carefree. Now she thinks that you'll lock her away in some Mental hospital. She's not crazy, there is nothing wrong with her." I scream at him without realizing the words coming out of my mouth. " All of this yelling isn't accomplishing anything," Ms. Valentine barks at both of us. Jade and Cat just stare at me with wide eyes. "Perhaps it will be better if you and Andre go outside and talk," she motions to her husband. Mr. Valentine gets up to led the way outside. I turn to follow him when I hear Cat's voice. "Andre?" I turned and smiled at her. "I'll be right back. I promise." I said. And with that she smiles and nods her head.
Arthur's notes: When I started writing this I had envisioned Robbie as the one to save Cat, but I just didn't think his character would be strong enough to rise to the occasion like that (I could be wrong that's just my opinion). I decided not to use Beck because a confession of love would only further stress her out. Considering that he was her best friend's ex, and may cause her to believe that she was a reason they broke up. Which left me with Andre, who has already proven that he's willing to stand up to protect his friends even it is from his other friends (Stopping Beck & Jade from fighting cause it made Robbie cry and Cat faint). I like the way it turned out. So there you have it read review tell if you think I should continue.
