Cloud, A Dress, and A Squirrel.

~Kuro-Kasai-Tenshi

Rated: T

Warnings: Crack. Slight AU? Definitely some OOC-ness. I just couldn't resist!

Summary: Cloud likes Leon. Aerith and Tifa interfere. Inspired by fanart found online. Crackish-Oneshot.

Cloud stared at his reflection in disbelief.

All he did was mention his crush on Leon. One, LITTLE, mention! Next thing he knows, he's being forced into Aerith's pink bedroom, and Tifa brings in mountains of dresses! DRESSES!

For the next three hours, he was forced into dress after dress. He was currently wearing a sky blue Princess Dress, with many ruffles and white lace. He hated it. He threw a glare at the giggling Aerith as Tifa dove into the pile to find 'A beautiful yellow sun dress that'll match your hair! It's got these little blue jewels on it that'll bring his attention to your eyes too!'

He hoped she never found it, and that he could escape as he edged closer and closer to the door.

"Aha! Found it~!" Tifa popped out of the top of the pile, saw Cloud trying to escape, and grabbed his arm to drag him back to the mirror.

In her hand was a sunshine yellow dress.

She practically ripped the other dress off and forced him into the yellow one. She zipped it up and turned him around to admire her work.

The dress came to just below his knees, the yellow matching his hair rather well, and the blue jewels on the bodice and straps matching his eyes perfectly.

"… Okay, fine. I admit that it looks… okay. I still don't like the fact that it's a dress, and I certainly don't appreciate the fact that I was forced into it!" He pointedly glared at them, only to have Aerith look away giggling and Tifa just grinned cheekily back.

"That's ok! I expected as much. You'll appreciate it more once Squall has his attention on you." (He sincerely doubted that…) Aerith had quit giggling enough to reply. Suddenly a hand grabbed his ankle and yanked it up, forcing Cloud off-balance. Landing on his ass, flashing the panties that Aerith had 'coerced' (read: Threatened) him to wear, he saw Tifa forcing white sandals onto his feet.

He glared harder.

She just grinned before helping him up. Then, she was dragging him through the door, across the house, and then to the edge of the backyard, close to the forest, and right in front of Leon.

Tifa ran off back towards the house, cackling as she did.

Cloud couldn't speak. He blushed and looked away, and Leon raised an eyebrow.

"Cloud, why are you wearing a dress? And are those barrettes in your hair?"

Cloud turned back to him, a bewildered look in his eyes.

'Barrettes…..?' He reached up to feel his hair. Sure enough, his usually messy hair was semi-tamed with multiple barrettes.

He growled. "Tifa….." She must have done it when he was trying to tear off one of the monstrosities called a dress. He crossed his arms and turned his head away, pouting.

Leon smirked and crossed his own arms.

"Why did you get forced into a dress by Tifa? Any particular reason, or did you just lose a bet?"

Cloud blushed again, which Leon saw.

"N-no particular reason! She's just being weird and sadistic. Not right in the head…"

Before Leon could respond, several things happened.

A squirrel that had been lurking nearby in the woods had decided to search for acorns (A/N: I seriously resisted the urge to put 'nuts' instead of 'acorns' here ^^;) by climbing up Cloud's leg. Up his dress.

Cloud, feeling the little claws of said squirrel, freaked, causing the squirrel to panic and climb all the way up the dress, and therefore out, eventually jumping down in between the two men. Cloud, seeing the squirrel, did something that no one ever thought possible.

He screamed like a little bitch.

"KYAAAAAAAA!"

Cloud proceeded to do the unthinkable. Again. He leaped into Leon's arms. Leon then caught him, holding him bridal style.

After everything had calmed down, and Cloud jumped out of Leon's arms, Cloud had turned such a bright shade of red that Leon wondered how he wasn't either dizzy from too much blood to the head, or overheating. He smirked.

"So, Cloud. There's something I've been meaning to ask you."

Cloud gulped at the down right devious look on Leon's face. Back at the house however, Tifa and Aerith, who had been watching the entire exchange while eating popcorn, were enjoying the show.

"Ne, Tifa?"

"Hmm?"

"…. I'm pretty sure that that look counts as a Rape Face."

"…"

"It's kinda scary…."

"Yeah….. Poor Cloud."

At that they broke down into uncontrollable (and slightly pervy) giggles.

(Back with Cloud & Leon)

"What did you want to ask me?" Cloud valiantly resisted the urge to turn tail and run far, far, far away. That look on Leon's face was Terrifying!

"Do you like me?" Leon was very smug looking. And smirking.

Cloud just froze and turned Very Red.

"That's all the response I need."

Leon then picked Cloud (who was still frozen) up and flung him over his shoulder before he could protest.

He walked into the house with his 'hostage' amidst giggling from the girls, and straight to his room.

They weren't seen for two weeks. Needless to say, Cloud and Leon were both very happy.

End.

A/N: SO….. Yeah. Wasn't too impressed with this one. Oh well~. Also, the fanart was on Deviantart. Look up 'Cloud and the dress for Manda' by Gemiange. I was randomly browsing DA forever ago, and found that lil pic. This little fic was the result. Hope you liked it~!