Luck.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
I am sitting on the couch, watching as our children played together on the floor. I am still amazed sometimes by how much Katarina looks like Alannah and myself. She's inherited my jet black hair, but those piercing green eyes are her mother's. Michael has my dark blue eyes, but his hair is a deep reddish brown color. Both children have inherited our height, and we sometimes wonder if we're going to be able to find clothing that fits them. But Alannah has faith in Tarrant's skills, and I have to admit that I do as well.
Katarina brings me out of my thoughts by tugging urgently on my hand. "Daddy! Michael won't give me the blue crayon! I need it!"
I look over at her, and smile. She has the same fiery temper as her mother, but lacks the ability to make her eyes change color. "You need it, do you?"
"Yes! I'm drawing the sky! Besides, he's not even coloring with it! He's just being stubborn!" She pouts, and I can't help but smile at how much she looks like Alannah at that moment.
"Michael, let your sister have the blue crayon. She'll give it back when she's finished with it. Fair enough?"
Michael pouts, and I gaze sternly at him. "You're not using it, and she needs it. Let her have it, please."
Michael sighs. "Alright, Daddy. Katarina, here you go."
Katarina takes the crayon, and grins at Michael. "Thank you. Do you want me to draw you a picture?"
Michael nods eagerly, and Katarina laughs. "Alright."
I chuckle quietly as they continue drawing, their fighting over with, and my mind goes back to my child hood. Not only was I an only child, I was also a very lonely one. My parents refused to allow me to have any friends, and for many years the only company I had was my nurse. This wouldn't have been too bad, I thought, if not for the fact that she was a singularly unpleasant and hateful woman. I came to dread her presence, but I knew that if I dared to complain to my parents I would be lectured severely on what an ungrateful brat of a child I was, how my parents were too busy to worry about trifles like my well-being, and how lucky I was that they did not merely leave me to my own devices but were generous enough to have someone to watch me. I had heard the lecture so many times, I had it memorized, and I knew that my luck was extremely rotten and unlikely to ever change. I sometimes felt as though I was merely a toy of Fate, and She was playing my string and laughing evilly.
When I finally left home and went to Salazen Grum, I had the brief hope that maybe Luck and Fate had decided that I had been tossed around long enough, and would allow me to have some semblance of a good, normal life. But they had still not finished tormenting me, and events converged to make me a broken, bitter man. First I lost my eye, then I was forced to become the slave of the Red Queen, and under her thumb I committed acts that made me nauseous with shame.
The brief hope I felt when Mirana exiled her sister was severed the instant I realized that I would be sharing that Exile. At that moment, when the shackles closed over my wrist, I thought my luck had completely run out-and I was certain my sanity was not too far behind.
My luck had run out, and for a brief moment in my black despair I toyed with the idea of taking my own life, only to realize that I had no means by which to accomplish the grisly task. True, there was the chain, but I balked at the thought of strangling myself-and a greater part of me desired to live.
So I decided to resign myself to the fact that I was simply the most unlucky man in all of Underland, when my luck was changed in the most wonderful way imaginable. Alannah accepted me, took me into her home and then into her heart, and I knew that my luck had finally started to change.
I turn around at the sound of the cottage door opening, and smile as my Lady comes in. She walks over to me, and I immediately pull her down into my lap, kissing her deeply. She pulls away for a moment, a soft smile on her face. "You seem happy about something."
I kiss her again. "I am. I was just reflecting on luck."
Alannah smiles at me in understanding.
