Title: "I'm Harry...just Harry."
Rated: M
Summary: I'm Harry Potter; or at least I'm pretending to be, after all this is just a dream…right?
Genre: Fantasy Romance
Characters: Harry Potter
Author Note: I just thought about this while I was working out the next chapter for Another Time (Star Trek 2009), and I just thought for a moment what I would do in her shoes whilst looking at my HP&tSS book.

Chapter One: The Boy who Lived to Defy Physics

I'm not going to bore you with the details of how I ended up in Harry bloody Potters bloody body, 'cause honestly I don't know how it happened, I just remember waking up in the cupboard under the stairs on Dudley Dursley's eleventh birthday. The pounding on the door, Petunia's voice calling me from the other side, telling me to get up. The sound of footsteps eagerly running down the stairs then back up suddenly to one particular floor board that was obviously loose and collecting more dust then the rest. Sneezing, I never knew how much dust could be in such a small room, I glared at receding sound of Dudley's laughter and stomping feet, I didn't open the door waiting for him to barrel on by.

One thing you should take note, Dudley does not like to be evaded, he opened the cupboard door slapped me in the face and slammed the door back. I'm suprised the slap didn't wake me up, it wasn't no friendly tap on the cheeck, I'm amazed Harry hadn't ever blown a gasget like my little sister did whenever I annoyed her one too many times. I listened to Petunia's nasal voice exclaim how she "-wanted everything to be perfect for-" her little Duddykins. I had to hold back my snort. For the first time in my life I felt like snorting, but I didn't dare make Vernon mad.

"How many are there?" Dudley asked as if he couldn't count.

"Thirty-six, counted them myself," Vernon said proudly. Smiling with pride at his 'little' boy.

"Thirty-six! But last year...last year I had Thirty-seven!" His face got dangerously red almost purple and all blotchy looking. He glared down at his father in anger. Now seeing as Vernon was bigger, taller, and the grown-up in this situation I was suprised to see him flinch at Dudley's outburst. They spoiled and dotted on him way too much.

"Well, you see dear,-when we go out, we'll buy you two new presents, How's that Duddykins?" Although I admit I felt a bit jealous for Harry at this obvious show of motherly affection. I also couldn't help but note two things. One: if they hadn't told Dudley how many presents there were (or maybe ommited the truth), he wouldn't have blown up. Two: this was Petunia's only child, I could understand why Petunia dotted on her son like crazy. Growing up with a witch as a younger sibling (and the younger are usually the one's dotted on) she was probably unconciously showing him all the love that she had repressed the desire for. I rather hoped that she had another kid, for both thier sakes-or adopted some baby and never told it they were adopted.

For the time being Dudley was rather happy and tore into his presents. He didn't unwrap them like this was a once in a year thing, he tore into them like their were a billion still to come. I was rather glad I only ever got at the most five presents from my family on my birthday, that made me all the more special; when I wake up and remembered this dream I'm going to rant about it for days and shower my loved ones with extra love.

I made the bacon, eggs, and pancakes like I'd been doing it for years - and I have; at home, in my real nineteen year old female body, so the only thing different to me was the height, lack of muscular strength (his puny body didn't even have the bare minimum causing me to grip the pan with two hands and it still wobbled), and that...that, IT...causing me to walk funny. I never realized how much I swung my hips till I woke up.

When I got the mail, I stared at my **cough**Harry's**cough** Hogwarts letter, it was a dream come true. I almost cried! What person could read the Harry Potter series and not wish to receive one? I was convinced my Fourth Grade year that my letter had gotten lost in the mail, after I had heard in the news a truly romantic (slightly heartbreaking) letter was found and finally delivered to some ninety year old lady on her death bed. So, yes, I was happy with this dream, and hoped that the next dream I had I ended up in Hogwarts; however, in a female body—jeez I have to go to the bathroom so bad!

Thoughts away from anything involving water I thought about giving it to the Dursley's like in the movie and in the book, but—forgive me for not ever getting my Hogwarts letter! So I did what any ten year old (because remember Harry's birthday is still a couple days away) who lives in a cupboard would do—I put the letter in the back of Dudley's old jeans, which were surprisingly baggy for his young age (but luckily I'm used to running around in baggy clothing and one of the Dursley's probably Petunia, had provided a belt).

With a smile on my face, or rather Harry's (this is all so confusing), I skipped intot he kitchen grinning like a loon. I gave Vernon his bills, and one letter from Aunt Marge, she rathered reminded me of my Aunt Margrett who has a fondness for cats instead of bulldogs or rot wiellers-what ever the heck those dogs were supposed to be. I always thought that England folk had yorkies, terriers, great danes and the such but nope-they had the same kinda dogs I would see back home. Dudley was glaring at me, swinging his cane which I am tempted to call a smelting stick for some reason, debating if he wanted to hit me with it. You could see the indecision clearly on his face; to hit the freak or not hit the freak?

"Oh, Marge's ill," Vernon said to Petunia handing her the letter to open for him while he glanced at the rest of the letters, obviously looking for the important bills so he could throw the rest of them away. I watched my mom do this all the time, though usually she threw them all the away.

"Dad! Harry's got a letter!" Dudley yelled proudly. What? I felt him grab the letter out of my pocket, it had been sticking out. Damn! I should have bent it in half before putting it into my front pocket.

"Give it back, it's mine!" you know, I sieriously being sirius over here was not going to follow cannon, but what else can you say?

"Foolish boy," Vernon chortled, "Who'd be writing to you?" But then he saw the ripped wax seal of the Hogwarts emblem. He stared at it in horror, flipping it back and forth, Petunia looked at him in what can only be described as sick panic. Dudley demanded to see it, I demanded to see it, but Vernon ripped it up.

"That's not going to stop me from reading it!" I yelled. Vernon didn't get angry at me like I had expected him to. He grinned triumphantly going into the living room-no doubt headed towards the fireplace to burn the 'blasted little thing'.

"They're just going to keep sending them!" Needless to say I was officially 'grounded' and locked inside the cupboard whilst they went on their trip to the zoo. Guess I won't be performing any accidental magic today now, huh?