Stay: Prologue
I busted through the hospital entrance, I needed to get to Johnny. I could hear Ponyboy tagging along right behind me but he was running a lot slower. That was strange, Ponyboy was a track runner. The smoke must have really got to him. I barged by people and took my spot inside the elevator, Ponyboy stood beside me. He swayed back and forth and seemed like he was about to pass out. I couldn't think straight, the only thing that crossed my mind was Johnny. I needed to get to Johnny.
The elevator ride up seemed to take centuries so I began tapping my foot on the ground. Ponyboy glanced down at my foot for a second before glancing up at me for a moment. When I heard the elevator ding I almost ran straight into the door, I kept myself in place until it was opened at least a smidge. I forced myself out and continued my way to Johnny's room. I barely noticed how much my body ached but I still ran to his room. I arrived to the room and was met with a doctor. I stared at the doctor for a moment and stood still.
"I'm sorry, boys, but he's dying." The doctor said.
It pissed me off how nonchalantly he said such a thing but I let it roll off my shoulders for the time being.
"We gotta see him," I said as I flicked out Two-Bit's switchblade, my voice had an unfamiliar tremble in it as I spoke.
"We're gonna see him and if you give me any static you'll end up on your own operatin' table," I threatened.
The doctor blankly stared at me, he wasn't even phased by my threat. I stared back at him, waiting for him to say something, anything.
"You can see him, but it's because you're his friends, not because of that knife." He said calmly while stepping aside to let me and Pony in.
I gave him a passing glance while I hurried inside of the room. I laid my eyes on Johnny and he was so still. I could have sworn he was already dead if I didn't know any better. I wiped the sweat off my upper lip and looked at his pale face.
"Johnnycake?" I rasped, "Johnny?"
I felt myself begging for him to answer, I just wanted to know he was still breathing. I watched him stirr around weakly then I saw him open his precious brown eyes.
"Hey.." He muttered, his voice was so weak.
"We won," I panted, "we beat the Socs. We stomped them - chased them out of our territory."
I watched Johnny, he didn't budge.
"Useless. . .fighting's no good. . . " Johnny spit out.
Johnny had never talked like that before, I licked my lips nervously and went quiet for a moment.
"They're still writing editorials about you in the paper. For being a hero and all." I was talking quickly, I doubted Johnny could understad anything that I had said. But at the same time why did I sound so calm?
"Yeah, they're calling you a hero now and heroizin' all the greasers. We're all proud of you, buddy."
I saw a glow in Johnny's eyes, I don't think I had ever been proud of anyone in my life. Johnny was too much good for this world to lose, he was exactly what I needed. He kept me in check. I couldn't do this. I wanted to fall apart.
"Pony.." Johnny whispered, I barely heard him.
Ponyboy came closer to Johnny and leaned over to hear the kid.
"Stay gold, Ponyboy, stay gold. . ." Johnny whispered then slowly shut his eyes for the last time.
He sank deeper into the bed somehow and completely stopped moving. I stared at his chest for a long time, I begged for it rise and fall at least once but it never did. I felt tears sting my eyes as I backed up and stared blankly ahead. I hit a wall and sat completely still. He was gone. He was really gone. My world crashed and burned in just one second, My heart broke into and I just sat there like an idiot.
Ponyboy lingered near the bed for a moment before he put his eyes on me, he looked just as shocked as I was. He walked up to me and looked up at me.
"We have to go tell the rest of the gang, c'mon, Dal.." Ponyboy muttered.
I kept my mouth clamped shut as I continued to stare forward. My mind went blank so quickly and the only thing that I could think of was the image of Johnny's eyes glowing so happily.
"Dally, we have to go and tell the gang." Pony said.
I felt a smile form across my face, Pony looked at me like I had went insane.
"Tell them what?" I said calmly.
Ponyboy sighed and ran his fingers through his auburn hair, I think I was stressing him out more than he already was.
"Umm...Dal, Johnny is dead. You saw him die just like I did." Ponyboy explained.
I scoffed, "He ain't dead, he'll be alright."
"Dallas, he's gone. And he isn't coming back." Pony said as soothingly as he could.
I felt like I was falling apart but I was trying to keep myself together. I hated falling apart, and I definately didn't want to do that in front of Ponyboy. He would never let it go. I stepped into the door way and rested my forehead against the frame. He was dead. This was really it. He died in a damn hospital..I couldn't believe it. My tears stung my eyes and I tried to keep them in, but I failed. I looked up at Ponyboy for a moment and I felt my tears all fall at once, I bet that was quite the sight to see. He stared at me with his emerald eyes wide, he looked a lot like Darry.
"I can't. . .this is too much. . ." I spat out.
Ponyboy began approching me slowly but I took off down the hall before he was even within arms length of me. I sped down the stairs and almost knocked out a couple as I made my descent. I didn't care, I needed to relieve this pain I had in my heart. I forgot about the car, I was just focused on walking. The air was cold that night. I could see my breath when I breathed. I felt something poking my side and I realized I had a gun in my waist band. I smirked, I had a plan.
I walked into an empty convienence store, no one else was in there except me and the cashier. I winced from the bright lights but went on my way to pretend I was browsing. I stared at the magazines as I tried to build up the nerve to put my plan into motion. I could literally be dead in just a few minutes. The thought sent an odd shiver down my spine.
Don't do it.
What was that? Was I hearing voices? God, I really must have been crazy.
Get out of there.
The voice was familar and so calming, I kept it's pleas in mind. I never had to build up nerve before, I usually just did it and that was that. All of the confidence I had in my plan began to crumble. I circled the aisles a few times as I felt tears in my eyes again and felt sobs burn the back of my throat. I glanced at the store clerk for a second and tried to blink away the tears. They didn't stop coming.
I couldn't take it anymore and stormed out of the store. I needed to find a pay phone. I just wanted to go home, I just wanted to go home. . .
I finally found a phone and I frantically went to put in the number. I listened to it ring a couple times before someone picked up.
"Hello?" Darry answered.
"Darry, I wanna go home, please come get me. I don't know.." I panted and sniffled.
"Where are you?" Darry asked.
"Just meet me at the lot." I muttered as I hung up.
I began making my way to the lot, it felt like I had been walking for forever. I kept remembering when me and Johnny would go on walks whenever he was down. I had the sound of his laugh etched into my mind along with the image of his smile. I felt a sharp pang hit my heart, I would never see that smile again and I wouldn't ever hear that laugh again. I felt like I needed to throw up, this couldn't be the end..it just couldn't be.
I eventually made it to the lot and I beat the gang there. I plopped down under the big tree and leaned back against the trunk. I brought my arms around myself, I needed a hug. Johnny was the best at giving hugs when I needed them, it made me sicker to know I would never have his thin arms wrapped around me ever again. I sobbed and stared at my boots, I just wanted him back.
The gang finally arrived after I sat by myself for a minute, I didn't even care if they saw me cry. I was too far gone to care now, I was in too much pain to care. Everyone stood back as Darry approched me and knelt down in front of me. I began to sob and I couldn't stop, I just couldn't stop my heart breaking so damn much.
"Are you alright?" Darry questioned.
I stared at him for a moment before I continued to bawl my eyes out. I wrapped my arms around Darry's neck and sobbed into his shoulder.
"I-I just wanna go home.." I mumbled and sniffled.
"Okay, okay. I'll carry you back to the house. You'll be alright." Darry cooed at me, he was really good at calming people down.
Darry picked me up into his arms, I tried to keep my face hidden by burying my face into his broad chest. I don't know if it worked but I tricked myself into thinking it did. I felt a lot of eyes on me and I guessed the gang was amazed about seeing me fall apart in such a way.
"Don't stare." Darry ordered.
The gang's eyes all wondered off me and to something else as we all made it to the house. It was silent, no one dared to make a sound. We made it back to the house and I saw as everyone situated themselves the best they can. It felt so strange without Johnny being there. Darry carried me down the hall into his bedroom, it was odd for me to be in there. Darry didn't really like it when anyone went into his room so I secretly felt honored to have access to his room.
"Do you want anything?" Darry asked, his voice was so calming.
I stayed silent, there was just one thing I wanted but I knew it was completely impossible to have it. I didn't want to be alone, I didn't want to be alone with the cold and blunt truth that Johnny was dead and there was absolutely nothing I could do to change that.
"Don't leave me alone. Just don't. . ." I said softly.
Darry looked over me for a moment, he scanned his eyes over me while he moved over to the door. I wondered if Darry would think it would look bad on him if he even slept next to a underaged kid, I couldn't blame him. I wouldn't want to risk getting accused of something or another.
"I'll go ask Keith if he'll come and sleep in here with you." Darry said as he stepped out of the room.
I watched Darry leave the room to get Two-Bit. I sighed and kicked my boots off onto the floor. I crawled under the warm blanket, I instantly felt drowsy. I just wanted to get away from this heartbreak, I hated this pain I had in my heart. I couldn't stop it, I felt so helpless and powerless.
Two-Bit stepped into the room and looked over his shoulder as if he was getting assurance to come in here with me. He awkwardly walked to the bed and sat on the other side of me. I stared at him for a moment, I wondered if he was hurting as bad as I was. I never really thought about other people until just now. The whole gang loved Johnny to the moon and back. His grey eyes were unsual tired and sad looking and he had a deep frown on his face. Everyone was pretty torn up.
"Two..?" I asked softly.
"Yeah?" Two-Bit said.
"I miss him already. . ." I admitted and felt more tears well in my eyes.
"We all miss him, Dal." Two-Bit said soothingly.
I pulled the blanket over my head, I couldn't stop the crying episode I felt coming over me. I didn't want Two-Bit to see me cry, but I also didn't want to make him leave. I was so conflicted. I felt my body shake with sobs. Two-Bit didn't do or say anything, I think he was scared about what to say to me.
"You wanna get some sleep?" Two-Bit questioned.
I felt Two-Bit's eyes on me as he waited for me to answer. I nodded and sighed again. Maybe if I went to sleep I wouldn't feel this heartache so badly.
"I'm gonna shut the door and turn out the lights. Darry wanted me to keep you company. We're all worried about you." Two-Bit mentioned as he walked to the door to close the door and shut off the lights.
I pulled the blanket down under my chin, being in bed by myself even for a second made me depressed. I saw Two-Bit take off his Mickey Mouse shirt and get under the blanket with me. I noticed I was laying pretty close to him but it felt comforting. I felt so weird.
"Are you alright, Dally?" Two-Bit asked in a whisper.
I buried my face into Two-Bit's chest and sniffled. I could smell the very faint scent of his cologone, I wanted comfort and being near someone helped me a lot. Two-Bit sat still and silent.
"Dal-" Two-Bit began but I cut him off.
"Don't you ever tell anyone about this unless you feel like dying." I threatened.
Two-Bit nodded and went silence once more. I didn't even know what the point of protecting my ego was anymore, it was all I had left. It was just me and my own vanity.
"Goodnight, Keith.." I whispered and closed my eyes to drift off to sleep.
"Night," Two-Bit whispered and ruffled my hair.
I wanted to smack him for touching my hair but I was too exhausted to really care enough to retaliate. I couldn't even force my eyes to open anymore. I finally fell asleep and had the most amazing dreams of Johnny. My precious Johnnycake was a beautiful angel in my dream, he was my angel and I couldn't help feel some sort of comfort from that. Maybe he can come back and get me, maybe.
(A/N: This fanfiction will be continued after I finish my story "Gravity." I hope you ejoy this small prologue!)
