A/N: Okay then. Here's another shorty for you all. I'm aware my current multi-chapter fic hasn't been updated in longer than I would like to admit, but I promise you I am working on it Being worked on also is a follow-up to Forever and Eight Years. Anywho, feedback on this particular story is greatly appreciated. Gratzi!
You don't think anything has ever hurt you as much as watching her does. Every move she makes, every word she speaks, any smile she smiles, every breath she takes. You watch her as if you want to memorize each second of her life. Your heart stops a beat every time you see hear and each time, you can feel the ugly snake named Guilt and the weasel named Love twist around in your chest. Despite the fact that it was your favorite pastime, you hate watching her because it breaks your heart. You hater watching her because the mere sight of her reminds you of how royally you fucked up the only future you ever had to look forward to. And yet, like a rubber-necker at a train wreck, you still watch.
You watch as she meticulously works at the lab. You watch as she photographs a crime scene with diligent carefulness. You watch as she easily cracks a suspect without losing her cool composure. You was as she gently consoles the grieving mother of the teenage girl lying in the morgue; a situation that is still understandably tough for her, even after all these years. You watch as she begins to laugh again. You watch as she starts her life over. You watch as the light, that you took away, comes back into her eyes and her demeanor starts to soften. You watch as she flirts with a guy she meets when the team is at Sullivan's. You watch as she tells Stella about the date she has that night. You watch as she comes to work the next day smiling until kingdom come. You watch as she tells Flack how great things have been the past few years. You watch as she tells him she's never been happier than she has been with this guy. You watch as she invites Mac to her wedding with a genuine smile on her face. You watch as she says 'I do' and marries a man who isn't you. You watch as she and her husband drive away in a car boasting 'Just Married'. You watch as she lives a new life and forgets about the life she used to have with you.
Never do you act, never do you speak up. You simply watch the best thing in your life slip away, day by day, month by month.
You can't stand to watch as she breaks your heart a little more everyday. Each time you see her, you consider selling your soul more and more just to get her back. You know it'll never happen and you know she's happy now. And you guess that's all that really matters. You'd never do anything to ruin her happiness; it's everything you live for. But just as you can't help but watch, you can't help but wonder if she could have been happy with you.
