Author's note: I don't own anything, and others have already done this better.

She emails him twenty times the night she goes to Chuck. Twenty the next day. Thirty the day after that, and then settles in to a comfortable ten per day for a week. Eventually she moves on to phone calls, leaving a voicemail every week on what had been their regular movie night, back when they were friends.

She misses her best friend. She wants to say that, that he's her best friend. She wants to say thank you for being there for me, thank you for trying, thank you for supporting me. She wants to say he could have supported her by not sending that damn video in right before her wedding, but she'd already accepted his misguided but well-intentioned reasoning. (She wants to say it a little bit anyway.)

She wants to say we would have been happy in Rome, away from it all. She wants to say why did you push, why after all our talk about trust could you not just trust a little longer now that I was finally getting my head on straight, now that you'd helped me feel sane for the first time in what felt like forever?

She wants to say she's sorry she chose Chuck, or not sorry she chose him, but sorry that she couldn't shake him, even after he let go and she had thought she let go. She wants to explain that she thought it was over and she thought she was moving on and she didn't know, she didn't know that both men would tell her to choose right then, and that when they did her heart would hurt at the thought of losing Dan but that it stopped entirely when she thought of relinquishing Chuck.

She wants to say she loves him, even if it's not the kind of love he wants from her. She wants to say please still love me too (just a little less). She wants to say all the break-up cliches and have them be true. She wants to say she wishes it had ended differently, even though she mostly means the part where he got hurt.

She says which movie she's watching that day.

She says she hopes the writers' retreat is going well.

She says maybe I'll catch you next week.

He never calls back.