Harry and his Bucket full of Gryffinsaurs.
Drarry, Seamione, Dumblemort.
"It's Harry and his bucket, his bucket full of Gryffinsaurs… JUMP, HARRY!"
Harry Potter smiled down at his Nemo bucket fondly. His friends inside bared their teeth back at him. They were actually trying to smile back, but a dinosaur's face is not exactly built well for smiling. Rontosaurus, Mionesaurus, Dumbledactyl and GredandForgeasaurus-Rex were Harry's best friends in the world. Every day Harry would put his Gryffinsaurs inside his bucket and jump in with them – the bucket was a portal to a magical Jurassic world!
This day was no different. Harry loaded up his Gryffinsaurs into his bucket and jumped in. Pink and white sparkles exploded out of the bucket, and they were transported. This time, however, the world looked different. The sky was red and looked like it was on fire. The natives of the land, the Slytheraptors, were not very friendly and sometimes quite mean. For some reason, probably connected to the fire sky, none of the Slytheraptors bothered to glare or insult them. In fact, Dracoplodocus, the leader of them, ran past them acting far from his usual calm self. He was swishing his long neck and tail, and banging his fat feet. "Save yourselves!" he roared, "Voldemeteor is coming! All the dinosaurs will be wiped out!"
"Pff!" said Harry, disbelievingly. "There is no such THING as a Voldemeteor!"
"Oh really?!" said Dracoplodocus, "Then how did you get that tattoo on your forehead?!"
Harry brushed his hair down in shame. His forehead had been magically elongated as a baby, and it had a large tattoo on it of a fireball, and the words 'HAHAHAHA VOLDEMORT IS DA BESTA HOMIE IN DA WORLD BRUV YA GOT OWNED HARY'. Harry did not have many friends because of his tattoo, as much as he tried to explain it away as being a scar from his childhood abuse.
"It says Voldemort, not Voldemeteor! They're totally different names! One rhymes with coldefort and one rhymes with trollebeateor!"
Some random Flufflepuffles gasped and covered their ears at this, because coldefort and trollebeateor are some of the worst swear words in all of Bucketland.
"Shut up Harry!" said Mionesaurus, "This is a K+ fanfic!"
'But nobody was listening because Mionesaurus is always giving boring lectures'
"NO SHE'S NOT!" cried several voices. "AND WHERE DID THAT VOICEOVER COME FROM?" It was FredndGeorgeosaurus-Rex, Rontosaurus, Dumbledactyl, Lupin, Snape, Sirius Black, Oliver Wood, Percy Weasley, Charlie Weasley and Hagrid! No one knew where half of these people even came from, but that was okay because everyone was too busy looking at Mionesaurus, who was blushing and playing with her tail.
"We come from the mysterious land of… HarryPotterFanfiction! We lurk there in our ridiculous pairings, whilst authors with no lives outside of the Wizarding World make up unlikely things about our relationships!" said Lupin, Snape, Sirius Black, Oliver Wood, Percy Weasley, Charlie Weasley and Hagrid in mysterious, hissing voices.
Everybody knew who the other dinosaurs were so they didn't bother to speak.
"That is awfully nice of you all to defend me", said Mionesaurus, "and it's obvious you all like me – which is actually quite gross most of you – but I already have a boyfriend. It's Seamushark."
And with those words, an extremely handsome Irish shark with legs burst out of a nearby Mountain Dew river. He was wearing a t shirt that said 'Kiss me, I'm Irish' that was super glued to his body. He carried a large spiked truncheon to beat people with, because people often thought that his t-shirt told the truth and he wanted them to kiss him. Which he didn't. Unless they were Mionesaurus. Obviously.
And then Mionesaurus and Seamushark kissed in slow motion, and there was a sunset and white doves and violins. Every nearby girl dinosaur thought this was the cutest and most romanticest thing ever, and sniffed and dapped at their eyes with happiness. Every nearby guy dinosaur thought this was really cute as well, but they didn't want to admit it so they exploded some stuff in the background to feel a bit manlier.
Even Voldemeteor came down from the sky without killing anybody to see this fabulous Disney prince and princess style kiss. And he even let himself be videotaped to prove he was real.
So in the end everybody was happy! Seamushark turned out to have a friend who owned a home laser tattoo removal kit, so Harry had his tattoo removed and his forehead shrunk. Dracoplodocus was happy because he realised how cute Harry was with a normal sized forehead and they started going out. Voldemeteor and Dumbledactyl were happy because they started going out. The Mythbusters were happy because they had a videotape proving Voldemeteor was real, and they were going to sell it for lots of money. And not forgetting… FredndGeorgeosaurus-Rex, Rontosaurus, Lupin, Snape, Sirius Black, Oliver Wood, Percy Weasley, Charlie Weasley and Hagrid – they were happy because they formed a choir called Only Single Wizards Aloud, and became really famous and released an album that went platinum overnight.
