Title: Restrained Emotions
Author: Sussie
Summary: After their names have been cleared and another hard case put to rest; Elliot wants to talk with his partner.
Post ep for Season 4:s 5th episode, Disappearing Acts.
Story Notes: This story will consist of 3 chapters. All of Chapter 2 is already written with only minor polishing needed. Half of Chapter 3 is done and I expected to have the rest written within two weeks. Chapter 2 will go up later this week most likely. Reason for posting is a feeling that I need some encouragement so as not to drag it all out too much.
It will be written to its entirety with or without reviews. (I hate hearing authors say they won't finish if they don't get so or so many reviews etc. so that's why I'm making this clear. I don't want reviews because I bullied people into writing them...)
Author's Note: This is for me an exercise in writing dialogue. Something I view myself in need of training in. Please let me know my grade, an F with an explanation is preferable to nothing.
Chapter 1
Elliot looked around the deserted squad room noting only a few loyal St. Bernards left in the vicinity, including him, his partner and their Captain.
He returned focus to what was in front of him and naturally rested his eyes on Olivia. She was absentmindedly chewing on a pen (or something, he never could figure out what exactly she did or why for that matter). She was, despite this troubling habit deep into her work; alternating between looking at the papers on her desk and the computer monitor.
"So…I'm done, you wanna head out together?" he spoke up in a relaxed manner, trying to softly draw out his partner from her sphere of concentration.
"Yeah, okay. I'll see you tomorrow,"Olivia replied without looking up, obviously not having heard all of his words or more likely none and instead heard something made up in her own mind.
He sighed silently and proceeded to count down a whole minute before talking again.
"You almost done?" he tried again, varying his vocabulary.
"I'm gonna stay for awhile, get this done,"Olivia answered, this time looking up briefly and flashing him a smile, probably with the intent of it being reassuring. To say how "fine" she was.
Elliot couldn't be fooled though as she still wasn't following him and he was starting to suspect she was doing it on purpose or she would have noticed they were "off" when glancing at him.
She was clearly brushing him off.
"You're not listening, Olivia,"Elliot stated changing the tone of his voice to something more forceful. He knew she would respond to that and if not that her full name would certainly catch her attention in the way he wanted.
"What?"Olivia said with an exasperated sigh.
She dropped her pen and looked at her partner with an expression clearly meant to be off-putting but mostly it only served to signal her exhaustion.
"We should talk, Liv,"Elliot said, completely disregarding her rather hostile response.
"I really should finish this paperwork, El,"Olivia answered, returning her eyes to said work as if to prove her point.
"Coulda, woulda, shoulda…since when did we follow paperwork deadlines? Or any other orders for that matter…"Elliot said with a teasing smile, immediately earning him a glare from his partner.
"And you seem to have forgotten; that that is exactly the reason for why I'm doing this particular paperwork," Olivia informed him, annoyance clear in her voice.
"Liv…come on. That can wait. We can't." Stabler said, refusing to give up. "We need to talk." he continued, his voice softening to an uncertain quality.
He wasn't used at having to beg his partner for a talk as it was usually the other way around. It made him all the more sure though that this was what was needed and even if it made him uncomfortable he would be damned if he couldn't make sure that they got it.
"El…"Olivia's voice had lowered significantly as well and she was only looking at him from under her eyelashes, silently begging him to let her be.
An invitation to talk coming from Elliot, would normally have her jumping up and down in excitement (or perhaps standing still frozen by shock) but today she wasn't sure where she even had her own thoughts and emotions so how could she possibly take care of her partner's then?
She just couldn't deal with it right now.
Her single syllable utterance and accompanying look seemed to work though as Elliot still hadn't said a word in continuing protest. He seemed to have given up when watching the distant look forming on her face.
Elliot calmly returned to his own work, figuring the least he could do now was at least to make her company as she insisted on being the last person to leave the squad room.
Meanwhile Olivia tightened her lips in thought. She had just watched her partner's surrender, a highly unusual occurrence and an eerie feeling emerged from it. She made a decision.
Before her partner could even register something moving around him she had pushed her papers into her drawer, fished out her keys and stood up. She was halfway through putting on her long black leather coat when she spoke as innocently as she could muster, "You coming?" the question was posed to the still oblivious man sitting in front of her.
Elliot blinked once, confusion over the sudden turn of events evident on his face. Once he realized what was happening though, he was quick to follow his partner's lead and rushed to finish as well. "Uh yeah," he mumbled as he bent to pick up the pen he had dropped to the floor, struggling to catch up.
"Yeah, I'm coming,"he repeated and then much like she, he was ready in a few seconds as well.
They had lots of practice in this of course, urgent calls weren't unheard of in their profession.
Unfortunately they hadn't even reached halfway through the hallway outside the squad room when their next problem arose.
"El, I really don't feel like…"Olivia abruptly interrupted their easy silence when she noticed Elliot was heading to stairs and not the elevators, which indicated they were walking to the the parking garage. She stopped walking as she trailed off.
"What?" Elliot said, his contentment over getting his way just seconds before quickly dissipating. Why was it that whenever she said they had to talk, he was expected to follow like Lassie the dog but when the opposite was true, she insisted on fighting him every step of the way?
Olivia sensed his rapidly failing mood and explained herself before she ruined something that hadn't even begun. "I just meant, can't we go somewhere closer. I won't make it if I have to walk 10 blocks back to my apartment."
"I'll drive you."El answered, looking at her like she had possibly lost her head in the last second or two.
He started walking again only to immediately realize that his partner still wasn't with him. His patience waning off at a dangerous speed (as always except perhaps when dealing with kids) he turned around with a glare to match it.
It was his turn for a one syllable outburst. "What?" he asked, unintentionally repeating Oliva's previous words just a few minutes ago.
"El…"Olivia disregarded it just as he had and only asked a question with her eyes.
Her voice was soft, tired and uncertain, of him and of the situation and not knowing where it was all coming from it only made her more unsure.
Elliot both heard and saw the emotional display on his partner's face. He forced himself to take a breath and used that precious oxygen to fill his failing reserve of patience. "I'll drive you home, later tonight, of course." he answered, shaking his head, wondering.
He couldn't fathom why all of a sudden she wouldn't get that, wasn't that much obvious after what, 5 and a half years together? She should know him better than that by now.
Olivia was thinking much the same thing as she followed in Elliot's footsteps. He had driven her home lots of times, why would she doubt he would today? She shook her head as well to try and forget how her Elliot "radar" was failing all of a sudden and tried prepare herself for a nice and relaxed evening with her best friend instead.
Elliot sensed her presence behind him and finally relaxed with a satisfied smile as they continued walking to his car.
