THE BAD DAY

(Avatar: The Last Airbender and its characters do not belong to me.)

SCENE 1:

AZULA'S CAMP: TY LEE is sleeping, curled in a ball next to the komodo rhino; MAI is gathering firewood under the gaze of AZULA.

MAI: So, how long it is until we catch up to the Avatar? I find it highly embarrassing that the two of us were not able to do so yet.

AZULA (dryly): The two of us?

MAI: Come on, Ty Lee? I am sticking to my belief – in her childhood, she had an accident…

AZULA (flatly): Mai, you are my friend, so heed it – try not to badmouth Ty Lee too often? We need her to occupy that pathetic water bender while I take down the Avatar.

MAI: What about that girl that has joined the Avatar's retinue? Rumors say that she is an earth bender.

AZULA (dryly): Yes, and also blind, or otherwise… flawed. I reckon that you can easily take care of her and the water nation's peasant, right, Mai?

MAI (coolly): Of course, I will… but first, we must catch up with them, don't we?

AZULA (coolly): And do not worry – we will.

MAI: Oh? Do you have a plan?

AZULA: Easy. According to the latest rumors, the Avatar and his crew have somehow lost their flying bison. Ergo, they are traveling on foot, which means that they must resupply soon. The only town where they can get their supplies is the town of Istmar. We will go there and wait for the Avatar and his crew to come to us!

MAI: Istmar? But isn't it-

TY LEE (perky and annoying): Good morning friends! And how are we on this beautiful day?!

MAI and AZULA just exchange a look.

SCENE 2:

THE AVATAR'S CAMP: SOKKA is gathering firewood, AANG and MOMO the lemur are still asleep, and KATARA & TOPH are just waking up.

(SOKKA is humming some wordless tune.)

TOPH: Sokka, do you mind? You have neither voice nor hearing for the singing – I spent the last few hours dreaming of being under attack by bumblebeasts!

SOKKA: Eh, you will get over it.

TOPH: Now see here, boomerang boy, I do not expect much from you, but lately your humbug stick is just stupid – and distracts my apprentice!.. Isn't that right, apprentice?

(AANG jumps up as TOPH slyly uses her earth bending on him)

AANG: Appa? Where are you?

KATARA (oddly exasperated): Aang, you dreamt of Appa again?

AANG (looks around, oddly morose): Yes, Katara… Oh, I miss him so!

KATARA (groans and glares at TOPH): Happy now?

TOPH (sarcastic): I am in raptures, what do you think?! (Makes a face at KATARA, but the water bender has turned around and cannot see TOPH; MOMO however can and blinks)

SOKKA (approaches from behind TOPH): Don't mind her; she slept on the other side with Aang, remember? Moreover, Aang tends to mumble while he is asleep… and Momo acts very nervous lately – somebody probably chases us.

TOPH: Well, isn't that just ducky… hey, why are you so calm? Now that Appa… is no longer with us, we have lost the speed advantage.

SOKKA (casually): Look, Golden Boar girl, as far as I am concerned, someone always chased us – and usually it was the Fire Nation. Why, if we had any money to spare, I would bet 2 to 4 that our pursuer is from Fire Nation, and probably serves either Scar-Face Zuko or that crazy girl who is on our case ever since Aang has almost saved king Bumi.

TOPH: And you are so confident because?

SOKKA: Eh, after a while being pursued looses its thrill… you will get used to that too, Shorty.

TOPH: Do not call me Shorty!

SOKKA: All right then, Short Stuff.

(TOPH prepares to earth bend SOKKA into next week)

KATARA (rather more sharply than usual): Guys, stop fighting and start walking! We need to get to Istmar before the evening, and it is not too close to us!

(AANG'S face falls)

AANG: Oh, Appa…

(SOKKA and TOPH start to walk briskly)

SCENE 3:

ISTMAR: - a regular earth nation's town, however, it is located close to a big river that is thickly covered in islands, many of which are covered in forests. The river itself resembles a marsh rather than an ordinary river as well. The sun is well near its' zenith, and AANG and his companions look rather sweaty; KATARA is flushed in particular.

KATARA: Could we have gone any slower, Sokka?

SOKKA: Hey, it is not my fault that Shorty here would not accept that the fire nation could have sent earth nation "volunteers" after us!

TOPH: Do not call me Shorty! And, what's more, I do not believe that my people would willingly collaborate with the foreign occupants!

SOKKA: Well, Shorty, you may know long words, but I still say that one to four is a reasonable rate in regards to the earth nation's "volunteers" of the fire nation.

TOPH: Now see here, we are a proud and noble people, not like those freedom fighters you have told me about earlier.

KATARA (at the verge of the explosion): Sokka! Can't you let bygones be bygones? Jett was so long ago, for crying aloud!

SOKKA (with an odd expression): Right, Katara, aha, whatever you say…

AANG (more upbeat and more like his old self than lately): Hey, Katara, they sell some cool things here! Can I buy something, please? (Looks with puppy eyes)

SOKKA (hurriedly, 'cause KATARA looks like she can explode at any moment): Right, Aang, here some money, go and buy yourself something; me and Toph will go and buy the supplies, and Katara… cool off, why don't you?

(KATARA actually growls in reply)

SOKKA: Aang, do not forget Momo! (Gives AANG MOMO and some money)

AANG (even more like his old self): Thanks, Sokka (Runs off)

TOPH (suspiciously, for the siblings aren't acting like themselves lately): Sokka, what is going on here? Why the sudden generosity?

SOKKA (hurriedly leading TOPH away from KATARA): Quiet, earth bender, we need to talk.

SCENE 4:

AZULA, MAI, and TY LEE are riding into town.

TY LEE (apparently being to Istmar before): …and did you know that the food here is great? Especially the pheagle and the watermelons! In addition, did you know that the watermelons are berries, not fruits? Moreover, do you know that other natives of the earth kingdom consider the natives of Istmar odd?..

AZULA (doing a titanic effort of ignoring TY LEE'S chatter): Okay, Mai, we split.

MAI (looks like she can kill somebody other than AZULA at any given moment): Really? Can't we just abandon her to the wild weaselcats?

AZULA (who looks a bit short-tempered herself): Shut up and search for the Avatar instead.

SCENE 5:

SOKKA and TOPH are standing in some alley that is empty save for an old man who is sleeping in the shadows of a tree.

TOPH: All right, Sokka, what is going on? Why is the sudden generosity and servility?

SOKKA: I think it's Katara's time. Of the month.

TOPH (shocked, to say the least): Say what?

SOKKA (sounding more like his old self): Well, youngster, when you will start to reach Katara's age, your body will start to undergo certain changes that are according to our Gran-Gran are both strange and wonderful.

TOPH: I know what you are talking about! (Pause) Why do you know about them?

SOKKA (embarrassed): Look, for a while, I was the only… warrior in a village full of women and children. Needless to say, I have heard – and learned, on occasion – more than a warrior should. Eh. (Pause) Moreover, how do you know about this? Aren't you too young?

TOPH (also embarrassed): Eh, I overhead one of our servants explaining a similar story to her daughter. (Pause) So why are we talking about this?

SOKKA: Katara's supplies in dealing with just such an emergency were in Appa's saddlebags. Moreover, as you can see, we have no Appa. Therefore, we need to buy her new supplies, and I have no idea what and where in such a town. Any ideas, oh wise local?

TOPH (obviously caught flat-footed): That is a tall order, and no mistake. Fortunately, I think I have an idea of what to do in just such an emergency. Follow me, water peasant.

SOKKA (obviously relieved): Whatever you say, Shorty.

(TOPH and SOKKA leave. The peasant who was sleeping in a distance awakes. It's actually uncle IROH in disguise.)

UNCLE IROH: Hmmm…

SCENE 6:

ISTMAR'S WATERFRONT: a number of peddlers are standing there, praising their wares. UNCLE IROH approaches one of them.

A PEDDLAR: Buy fresh ink-spiders! Buy the fresh ink-spiders while their ink is unmarked! Buy the ink-spiders!

UNCLE IROH: It is me, nephew.

THE PEDDLAR (yes, it is ZUKO in his new wide-brimmed hat): I can see that, uncle. What are you doing here?

UNCLE IROH: Well, nephew, it is a funny story. Do you remember what happened when you were ten?

ZUKO (winces): Yes, uncle, even after all those years… why do you ask?

UNCLE IROH (looking further down the shore): No reason… but we should back away from here just in case… or maybe not.

FEMALE VOICE FROM BEHIND ZUKO: Excuse me…

ZUKO (turning around, surprised): Mai?

MAI (equally surprised): Zuko?

(Pause)

ZUKO: So, uh, Mai, how are your honorable parents?

MAI: Uh, same old, same old. Few things have changed in your absence. My parents are still honorable sticks in the mud, Ty Lee is same old feather-brained idiot, and your sister is still just as formidable…

UNCLE IROH: Maybe not, Miss... Mai, was it?

MAI: Uh, general Iroh, sir, is that you?

UNCLE IROH: Well, who else can I be? (Mai blushes, embarrassed) I was just teasing you.

ZUKO (interrupts): So, I heard that Ty Lee has joined the circus?

MAI: For some reason your sister wants her around, so Ty Lee came with us. (Pauses) Say, did you see the Avatar around here?

UNCLE IROH: Yes, actually I heard he was eating artichoke hearts fried with cheese. Rather tasty… for those with young teeth.

MAI (blinks): Ah, where would that be in terms of location, sir?

UNCLE IROH: Not now, Miss Mai… we need to back away somewhat. I think we are going to see something unusual…

(The three fire natives back away from the shore)

SCENE 7:

ISTMAR'S WATERFRONT (practically the edge of the water): KATARA is looking at the water, looking rather putout.

FEMALE VOICE FROM BEHIND KATARA: Well-well, if it is not the pathetic water bender!

(KATARA stiffens and turns around)

KATARA (much more venomous than usual): Excuse me? Excuse me? Pathetic?

AZULA: You heard me, water bender – what are you going to do?

(In return KATARA makes some sort of a water bending gesture – but instead of a whip something more like a giant tentacle lashes out of the river, wraps around AZULA and pulls her into the air)

KATARA: Pathetic water bender, am I?

(KATARA'S tentacle flings AZULA in some general direction. There is a splat.)

SCENE 8:

ISTMAR'S WATERFRONT: ZUKO, MAI, and UNCLE IROH stare at what just happened.

MAI (in a tiny voice): Did Azula just go-?

UNCLE IROH: -fall into the town's garbage dumping ground? I am afraid so.

MAI: Then she didn't go splat?

UNCLE IROH: Do you really want to answer this question? She should be unhurt… except in pride… Anyways, take this ostrich-horse of ours; komodo rhinos are rather unpredictable when confronted with big smells.

MAI: Thank you, sir. (Rides away towards AZULA)

(UNCLE IROH and ZUKO look at each other)

ZUKO: Uncle, I believe we need to talk.

SCENE 9:

ISTMAR'S GARBAGE DUMP: AZULA is "reclining" there, clearly winded. MAI and TY LEE ride up to her on the ostrich-horse of ZUKO and his UNCLE.

TY LEE: Azula, you okay?

AZULA: A pathetic water bender peasant has thrown me right across the town. What do you think?

MAI (to TY LEE): She is okay. (Pause) Now what is the plan, Azula?

AZULA (flatly): I go for a rematch. Someone like that will not defeat me. (Pause) Hey, where did you get the ostrich-horse?

MAI: A sympathetic man has given it to me.

TY LEE (bursts laughing): Sympathetic! Ha-ha!

(AZULA and MAI look at each other)

MAI (makes strangling gestures with her hands): Can I?

AZULA (ignoring MAI'S question): Well, give me that steed!

(Rides off)

SCENE 10:

ISTMAR'S STREET: SOKKA & TOPH are walking through it towards the waterfront, carrying several bags.

SOKKA: Thanks, Toph, you really did a good thing. I guess I would be lost without you in this instance.

TOPH: Gee, thanks Sokka, you sweet-taker, you. Didn't the women in your village teach you that too?

SOKKA (haughtily): I am a warrior, not a healer or whatever! I will not cross some lines!

TOPH: That is whatever, peasant-boy.

SOKKA: Oh, what would I do without you, Shorty? (Pauses) Err, that is the real deal in there, right? (Points to one of the bags) 'Cause otherwise Katara will kill both of us.

TOPH: Do not worry, I am not that heartless. Or stupid. That is your thing. (Pause) Sokka, what is wrong, why so quiet?

SOKKA: Shh, I think we are in the middle of something.

KATARA'S VOICE OFF SCREEN: So, you want a rematch?! Bring it on!!

SCENE 11:

ISTMAR'S WATERFRONT: KATARA & AZULA are facing off. AZULA has lightning bolts around her hands; KATARA has summoned her water tentacle once more. The two glare at each other and strike at the same time. AZULA'S electricity and KATARA'S water collide. There is a huge electricity flare.

SCENE 12:

SEVERAL MOMENTS LATER: both girls are seemingly knocked out, and they do not look so good. SOKKA & TOPH are at KATARA'S side, while MAI & TY LEE at AZULA'S.

SOKKA: Sis, you okay?

KATARA (in a very odd-sounding voice): What? …Oh, I am fine… ah-ha…

SOKKA (skeptical): Right, let us get out of here.

(AANG and MOMO come over)

AANG: Guys, what has happened? Were we in a fight?

(SOKKA looks at AANG, who has managed to acquire some sort of a short baton with a rather peculiar shape)

SOKKA: Aang, what is that?

AANG (proudly): It a fishrimp harpoon! Cool, hah?

SOKKA (clearly disagrees): It is hard to say… do you have any money left?

AANG: Oh… here, Sokka.

(SOKKA examines the remaining cash. Clearly, the view is not pleasing for him.)

SOKKA: Aang, we could have bought an entire, cooked, fishrimp for this! What- (pauses, looks at KATARA who still looks not quite like herself, and makes a decision) Never mind, let us get out of here. We bought some supplies anyways, and the rest we will figure out.

AANG (suspects that something is wrong here too): All right, Sokka.

SCENE 13:

AZULA'S CAMP: it is evening; AZULA is just sitting there, while MAI and TY LEE argue.

MAI: Ty Lee, look. We have lost our rhino, and we are lucky that we got this ostrich-horse in the bargain. We lost most of our supplies as well, and do you know why?

TY LEE: Because they were on the rhino?

MAI: Yes. Moreover, who was supposed to guard the rhino?

TY LEE: Are you saying that it is my fault?

MAI: Well, it is certainly not mine!

AZULA (does not sound like her usual self): Girls, could you tone it down? I am depressed, you know.

(MAI and TY LEE exchange looks)

MAI: Azula, what is wrong?

SCENE 14:

ZUKO and UNCLE IROH are riding a komodo rhino.

ZUKO: Uncle, that is technically stealing, you know?

UNCLE IROH: Now nephew, what is so shocking for you in this?

ZUKO: I see you have had your tea already. What is the point in doing this?

UNCLE IROH: Now nephew, I realize that seeing your old girlfriend has raised your fighting blood in you, and that is good. However, we are going to need help and strategy in dealing with your sister as well.

ZUKO: Azula… what about her?

UNCLE IROH (enigmatically): We are going to need help.

(Apparently not enigmatic enough, 'cause ZUKO'S eyes narrow in suspicion.)

ZUKO (VO): He cannot be serious, can he?

SCENE 15:

THE AVATAR'S CAMP: AANG and the gang are settling down; AANG and MOMO, in fact, are already asleep.

TOPH (to SOKKA and KATARA): Well, I am certainly glad that things are back to normal, aren't they?

KATARA (embarrassed): Yes, well, such things tend to happen from time to time.

SOKKA (smug): And that is why I am glad that I am man, not a woman.

(Both TOPH and KATARA glare at him)

TOPH: Yes, things are certainly back to normal.

AANG (in his sleep): Appa…

KATARA (sadly): Not exactly…

BLACKOUT