Some Information: This story is set where chapter four of New Moon would start; it is after Edward Cullen left Bella Swan. The characters and original story belong to Stephenie Meyer, however this story is a result of my own creation, but uses her characters to tell it. Some characters may be slightly OOC but for the most part I believe Bella Swan isn't based on the way she acts in the Twilight Series I think she is very at risk of developing an eating disorder through her obsessive/perfecionistic traits and her negative outlook on many things evident by her constant comparison of devine beauty verses her 'average' looks.
Summary: Bella Swan see's life not worth living without him without Edward Cullen. Loving someone, human, vampire or other, completely and unconditionally never leaves you as Bella Swan now knows but after months of living in a zombie world how can you stop the pain caused to others when the pain inside of you never leaves? Bella while at her most emmotionally vunerable shall treanscend into descent.
Prologue:
"Unworthy, disgusting, selfish, pathetic...", runs throughout my mind like wild fire.
Tears begin to well, blurring my vision as I stand shakily staring at my reflection. Disgust and hatred seemingly burns the inside of my skull as the first tears dribble out the corners of my eyes wetting my nose before I taste their saltiness on my quaking lips.
"Ha, even weaker and even more pathetic than I thought you were!" my inner demon chides mockingly as the first true sobs are heard escaping me, reverberating off the cold tiled bathroom floor. The eerie darkness of the night magnifies my feelings of isolation, which stab me time after time! Loneliness brings me to my knees as I convulse with nerve racking sobs; the sobs build power and intensity with every moment of time passing, with each painful, unwanted breath.
Suddenly I clasp my hands desperately to the sides of my head as tormenting thoughts and emotions beyond my control, swirl, kicking me maliciously in the gut, knocking me to the floor. I cry out soundlessly in desperation as the cold tiles bring no pain or discomfort as they should; I curl into a foetal position, cradle my head like a bomb about to explode before rolling around, muttering, and pleading for the pain to cease. However hard as I try the pain keeps coming, it doesn't stop; that voice of ill intent hovering over my crumpled body.
She doesn't like me, the voice, the thoughts, the unprecedented emotions and feelings. She hates me. I can see that and can feel its grasp more than never before. After whimpering, pleading, thanking and helping her for all this time she still mocks me. I know I deserve all of this from her all of this pain is more than I deserve, after all the wrong turns, imperfections and the selfish cruel acts I have committed to, thought and done. I deserve this I am worthless I am scared.
Authers Note: Please review and commment/compliment/criticize please! I want to know whether my writing style is appealing because I plan to make this story BIG! =]
