Me: OK. This is totally the most random, OOC, AU story I've EVER made. At first the main character was Ennis, but then I switched it to Jacuzzi because this would be totally out there for Ennis. Unlike Jacuzzi, cause his is out there but not TOTALLY out there, You follow? I also made this one about Jacuzzi because japaneserockergirl messaged me saying my stories were lacking Jacuzzi, and I agreed. So here you go. Hope there was enough Jacuzzi in there for you. And I also hope this is a pretty good story too. Also let's just pretend Jacuzzi knows who Ennis and Firo are and know the Czeslaw is an immortal please.

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Texting Equals Trouble

"What is this?", the brown haired teenager asked while looking at the black, rectangular item in his hand.

"It's a cell phone. It was invented a few years back and Isaac and I bought everyone in the gang one", Miria answered happily looking at Jacuzzi expectantly. Jacuzzi just looked at the item curiously.

"… Why are you giving this to me?" Jacuzzi asked intrigued.

"Because I want to keep in contact when I'm off to 'where ever' with Isaac", Miria answered matter-of-factly. Jacuzzi almost twitched. Jacuzzi didn't really like taking gifts from people. It always made him feel guilty because he didn't feel he deserved one for all the bad deeds he committed in the past. 'It would be rude if I don't accept', Jacuzzi thought. After thinking for a few seconds he said, "Thanks Miria. I really like it", with a smile on his face. Miria's face brightened and she hugged Jacuzzi tightly.

"I knew you'd like it! I'll keep in touch! I already added everyone's number to your address book!" Miria shouted as she ran away. Once Miria was out of sight, Jacuzzi sighed again and stared at the cell phone in his hand. After scanning over it once more, he put it in his pocket and walked back to his house.

When he came home, he noticed Czeslaw on the couch pressing the buttons on a cell phone multiple times. Jacuzzi looked at him questionably until Czes noticed someone else in the room. "Oh. Hello Jacuzzi", he greeted cutely.

"Hey Czes, did you get that phone from Miria too?" Jacuzzi asked. Czeslaw shook his head no.

"Nope. I got mine from Isaac", the immortal little boy answered as he went back to pressing the buttons on his phone again. Jacuzzi was going to leave, but the curiosity was killing him. He had to ask.

"Um, Czes", Jacuzzi said quietly.

"Yes Jacuzzi", he answered, not even looking up from the phone.

"What are you doing?" Jacuzzi asked curiously, "You're pressing WAY too many numbers for that to be a phone number, so you're not calling anyone".

"I'm texting", Czeslaw answered, surprised Jacuzzi didn't know. Jacuzzi just looked at him questioningly.

Czeslaw sighed. 'These adults today. So out of whack with the new technology', he thought. "Do you have a cell phone?", Czes asked. Jacuzzi nodded, took his new phone out of his pocket, and handed him his new phone. Czeslaw took the phone, flipped it open and started pressing buttons on the device until it came to the page he wanted. He showed the screen to Jacuzzi for him to see the white box with the flashing line in it and the number 0/180 on top of the box. Jacuzzi stared at the screen until Czes started talking. "OK. Do you see the blinking line in the box?" Jacuzzi nodded. "That's where the letters you type begin. The fraction thingy on top of the box shows you how many letters you've typed out of how many letters you're allowed to type. OK?" Jacuzzi paused for a moment then nodded again. "OK, good. Now you text by pressing the numbers a bunch of times until you get the right letter." Czes did as he explained to show Jacuzzi. "Do you get it now?" Czes asked. Jacuzzi paused then nodded, but then he stopped and asked "So this texting of which you speak is pretty much like sending a letter, but only faster, right?" Czeslaw nodded, and once he saw his work was done, sat back on the couch and started texting whoever he was texting before again.

Jacuzzi went up the stairs and to his bedroom. He decided to try texting someone on his phone. He flipped open her phone and tried to figure out how to get to the page her little brother got on to start texting. After a lot of wrong button pressing, he finally got on the right page and sighed in relief. He decided to start with something simple, so he texted 'Hi' and looked at the phone numbers he could send it to. Luckily, all the addresses were labeled on his phone or he wouldn't know where the text was going. He scrolled through the list until he found Nice's number. 'Why not?', Jacuzzi thought as he clicked on her name and sent the text. Once the screen on his phone said 'Sent' on it, he closed her phone and stared at the ceiling. 'Hm, I wonder how long until she'll text bac-', Jacuzzi thought until his thoughts got cut off by a high-pitched ring. He jumped up and looked around, trying to find the source of the ringing until he realized it was coming from his phone. He flipped it open and the screen flashed 'New Message'. He pressed 'OK' so he could see the message. The message was a reply from Nice. It read, 'Hey Jacuzzi. What's up?'. 'How in the world did Nice text so fast?!', Jacuzzi thought as he looked at the message. (This is a whole conversation, so I'm just going to bold Jacuzzi's texts and underline __'s texts)

'Nothing much. Just learned how to text. How'd you learn so fast?' 'I started texting about a week ago and now I'm addicted. It's easy when you get used to it : )''That's good. What does the thing at the end mean?' 'It's called a smiley. If you look side ways it looks like a smile doesn't it?' 'It sorta does. Do you happen to know who Czeslaw is texting by any chance?' 'I don't know. How about you go ask him?' 'Cause I don't feel like it' 'If you want to know, GO ASK' 'Fine. I'll go ask' *text from Czeslaw*'ENNIS LIKES FIRO!!!!' 'Wait. I see what he was texting now. LOL XD!' 'That means he texted that to everyone! (what does lol mean?)' 'Czes better run. There is no stopping that girl (lol stands for 'laugh out loud')' 'Aw. That was mean. Ennis is going to kill him now' 'He can't die remember' 'No, but I'm sure Ennis will find a way if she's that mad' 'True'

(End of bold underline thing)

Jacuzzi suddenly heard someone shout "CZESLAW!!!!!" and a loud boom come from some where down stairs. 'Uh oh', Jacuzzi thought. Jacuzzi texted, 'Got to go' as fast as he could and ran down stairs to make sure none of his friends got hurt. He found Ennis standing over Czeslaw with an aura of murder intent while Czeslaw was laughing madly struggling to breath. It was then Jacuzzi realized, texting was trouble.

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I hope you liked this totally OOC story. Sorry if it sucked japaneserockergirl!! I'm down with the flu (not swine flu) and my brain is out there, so you can blame it on that. Also, this was meant to be FUNNY, so if it wasn't FUNNY then it didn't do its job. Tell me your opinions and how well it did its job.