Double Jeopardy
This fic was originally posted on the Alt.DrWho.Creative newsgroup.
For more of my offbeat fanfiction, check out my homepage The End of the Phoenix.

Double Jeopardy
A quick lunchbreak fiction.

*****

"Alright, I've had enough!" the 8th Doctor voiced angrily.

He glared at his double, who was leaning across from him and against the control console. The double was displaying that rude, snide, I-could-give-a-damn look he always had. Instead of looking concerned, the double just smirked and flipped 8-Doc the bird.

"Screw you." the double said. "I didn't ask to be created. It ain't my fault you decided to mess around with sparti cylinders."

"No, but it's your fault Grace is angry!"

"All I did was ask her if she wanted to see my..."

Surreptitiously, the Doctor gripped the console. If he was going to do this, he needed to do it now. True, it went against many of his core principals, but the double was just plain too obnoxious. The double had to be gotten rid of, for the sake of sanity if for no other reason.

"I know what you were asking her..." 8-Doc interrupted, coldly. "It's a wonder she didn't slap me as well on the way out!"

"Yeah? Well, maybe she knows you ain't man enough for her."

The Doctor's face became even colder. "You're disgusting, you know that? It's hard to believe we're both from the same genetic code."

With one slight hand movement, the Doctor activated a control. Across the room, the TARDIS doors began to slowly open. Luckily, the double was too preoccupied to notice.

"Hey, I certainly ain't proud of it." The double ended his tirade by mouthing a few, choice, unbroadcastable words in 8- Doc's direction, then making another similar hand gesture at about level with his groin.

"Too bad." The Doctor opined. "You might have been a better chap if you had."

With that, the Doctor's hand flipped a switch. With a sickening lurch to the stomach, the ground orientation to the TARDIS interior immediately flipped 90 degrees. Quite suddenly, the direction the Doctor was facing became down. Cups flew, furniture tumbled, books fell off of their shelves -- and the double, completely astonished, abruptly found himself falling backwards, straight toward the open TARDIS doors.

The double managed to get one scream out before he disappeared through the doorway. Not satisfied, the Doctor flipped another switch to return the interior back to normal, then paused to examine another display, which clearly showed a flailing falling figure. The Doctor watched with no small degree of satisfaction as the double fell to the surface below, which just happened to be covered in a very large sea of rather hot lava.

The Doctor, you understand, wanted to make absolutely certain this particular nightmare would not come back to haunt him. It had taken him a considerable amount of time to set it up; he had no desire to have to go through this again.

Grace chose that moment to enter the console room. "Is he gone?" she asked, tentatively.

"Yes, he's gone." the Doctor responded, with no small degree of remorse. "I hated to do it, but yes it is done."

Grace nodded understandingly. "Don't blame yourself, Doctor. It had to be done. He was a horrible monster. You know that, don't you?"

Resolutely, the Doctor slowly nodded. "Yes, yes, I know. Evil twin and all that. But still... it's never easy to kill someone. Or something." The Doctor sighed. "I wish there had been another way. I'm not certain I like setting this particular precedent."

Grace looked confused. "Precedent?"

"Uh huh." the Doctor continued, remotely closing the TARDIS doors. "Do you realize that, until this very moment, I'd never before had to make an obscene clone fall?"

-- DBK
30 June 1999