Fated for Failure
Another production brought to you by every one's favourite Mango-lover: Kawaii Juice!
The Disclaimer, Much Hated Among the Forest Brethren!
I do not own Gundam Wing. "Temptation Island" is a trademark of . . .uh, Fox I think, and most likely thought up by the twisted psycho behind "Survivor".
Well, I came up with this idea after watching "Temptation Island" (can ya tell?) For all you sheltered or naïve people it is a TV show where four unmarried couples (six in this case) go to a tropical paradise where 26 "sexy singles" are waiting to seduce them. So, they are separated from their partners for two weeks, and the singles try their luck at the game of seduction. Each single is individually chosen according to the specific likes of the guy/girl so it makes them A LOT more likely to get involved with one another. For all you thick people out there: the object of the game is not to cheat on the significant other! I thought it would be interesting to see how the Gundam pilots and their chicks reacted to this, and I hope you think so too!
Warnings: Profanity, some sexual hints and stuff, and eventually there will be Lemon . . .but not in this one!
ON WITH THE STORY ALREADY, KAWAII!
Fated for Failure
The engine droned gamely, and the cabin of the confined and tiny private jet shook sadistically as it departed from the airport. Duo peered out the window at the land below, and observed the cars going from cars, to little multi-colored bugs, to tiny specks of dust, and then disappearing all together as they rose above the billows. When he first made the bet, and hoaxed the pilots into doing this he no problem with the prospect of girls VOLUNTARILY trying to make him cheat on his wife presented itself, but as usual reality hit him late, and now he felt very sorry. Suppose he cheated on Hilde, and lost her? Life then hardly would be endurable! Tentatively he faced the veracity that that these things were plausible, and that he or Hilde might cheat, and never absolve each other. Or would they? His mind argued. ~Me 'n' Hilde are soul mates . . .surely we'd get over our problems if we cheated here . . .~ Duo reassured himself. Still that malicious influence in the back of his mind doubted him. ~What if you don't,~ said the voice. ~What if Hilde finds someone better and moves on, and you are left all alone again? ~ Crazy, how the voices in his head made him feel valueless and shitty sometimes . . .
"Duo?" the black-haired vixen poked him. "DUO?" she tugged on his braid slightly. Slow reflexes spading his brooding mind, he tugged his head up.
"Hm?" he grunted, still ogling out the window. Hilde smiled widely.
"Know way the 'God of Death' is getting cold feet?" she exclaimed, thunderstruck, at last comprehending the quandary. "It was your idea!"
"I know . . .I'm not getting cold feet, Hild!" Duo lied. "I uh-just-all this air travel . . .and being in such a tiny space makes me feel kinda sick." ~Damnet Maxwell, you were a Gundam pilot, could you think of a stupider lie than that? ~ He admonished himself. Genuinely, Hilde was apprehensive about him . . .did he candidly qualm their relationship?
It wasn't that he doubted their relationship, but just the chance that he COULD lose Hilde, even if it is one in a million, scared the shit out of him. Hilde made it worth getting up in the morning; added color to his otherwise tedious life, and lacking her, Duo only existed as an empty shell, devoid of life or emotion. She was his goddess; his gift from the heavens, and doing this basically equivalences sending a snowball to the devil.
"Are you really feeling alright Duo? You don't look too good," Hilde continued. "Well, I have something that might cheer you up . . ." Duo's eyes lit up with anticipation. If it were like any of Hilde's other "surprises" he'd like it. "I knew we'd miss each other-" she leaned closer to him and began to whisper. "And frankly Duo, I don't know how long I can go without fucking you . . .two weeks is an awful long time-" she paused as Duo licked his lips slightly, and advocated her to continue. "So, I am going to cheat." She pulled two pieces of paper from her pocket and passed one to Duo. "This is a map of the island. See, that is the girl's camp, and that is the boy's . . .they are separated by a lagoon, and about two miles of forest. It is about three miles to the boy's camp from the girl's if you take the beach, so if we walk on the shore we can meet halfway. I already have it all figured out!" she said, sounding quite blissful by her own extensive preparation. Never, she ceased to amaze Duo, and he smiled widely. Most people would think cheating to see your girlfriend would take the fun out of it; but personally, having sex in secret, somewhere on the coast, down in the sand sounded quite fine with him. "See, I've calculated the halfway point, approximately 1.5 miles down the coastline there is a large boulder on the shore, we can meet there every other night!" Hilde sounded very eager already.
~Cute . . .~ thought Duo; he found it adorable that she would go so out of her way to see him! "Sounds great babe!" he said, folding the map and shoving it into the pocket of his khaki shorts.
"I smell a plot cooking up in the Maxwell family . . ." Dorothy accused from the seat in front of them. Of course her instincts were precise, but Duo and Hilde still pretended as though they knew nothing, both putting on guiltless grins. "Yeah . . .I get enough innocent smiles from Winner . . ." Dorothy carped, sounding quite uninterested with Quatre at the moment.
"Twenty bucks says Winner is going to sit around and iread/I for two weeks!" shouted Hilde, so the whole plane could here. There were grunts of approval from Sally, Wufei and Dorothy.
"I am NOT going to read all weekend . . ." the blonde pilot did his best to defend himself while reading, and typically not trailing his nearly non-existent temper.
"You BETTER read all weekend! If I find out you picked up one of those hussy sluts they hired to seduce you I swear the instant you step off the island you will live to regret it, so says I, and the bottle of Icy-Hot in the medicine cabinet!" Dorothy threatened. Quatre gulped, tremulous at the panorama of being tormented with Icy-Hot . . .it only happened once before, though he made QUITE clear to Dorothy not to . . .and it was not an experience he cared to relive. The once unblemished boy shuddered.
"A-alright." he stammered, turning somewhat red.
"You are so CUTE when I intimidate you!" Dorothy smiled her sultry smile and kissed him nonchalantly on his soft lips, her tongue mischievously grazing the roof of his mouth, leaving him fraught for more.
---
"Eww! If I have to look at Catalonia and her boy-toy making out one more time I swear I am going to throw up!" Noin said, trying to look away as the playful kiss evolved into a deeper, more zealous lip-lock.
"I definitely second that opinion." Zechs agreed, scanning the plane for something interesting to look at. "I still can't believe Maxwell tricked up all into coming here," he muttered, incredulously.
"Try to enjoy yourself!" Noin rose a brow at him "God knows we both need a vacation . . ." she muttered softly, so he scarcely heard her.
"Hm . . .my girlfriend left alone with a bunch of single, buff men . . .her idea of a vacation . . .my idea of a nightmare . . ." Zechs stated, beginning to twiddle his thumbs in sheer tedium.
"Right! Yeah, make me out to be the cheater; I see how it is . . ." Noin half-yelled back at him. "As if you aren't going to sit there all day gawking at girls on the beach!"
There yells carried across the plane to Midii and Trowa.
"Trowa?" he soft voice cooed to him. Finally she scraped up enough courage to ask him. "You don't think you'll meet - another girl . . .do you?" she asked, her voice as sugary as humanly doable. For a few moments he just stared at her, almost in disbelief that she inquired this.
"No." his Hawaiian, blue and green tie-dyed shirt that Midii (literally) forced him to wear almost made him appear less deadpan! Midii noticed jubilantly, in finding he wouldn't cheat. The thought maybe he would go back on his word never crossed her mind . . .
"Trowa?" she questioned again. Once more he gazed up from the window, this time slightly exasperated with her ostensibly eternal questions.
"What?" he drawled.
"Can I kiss you?" He raised a brow. Three years and she still asked him . . .? He observed. This time he better say something, almost gleefully, he noted possibly it would end more verbal conversation, (to him: meaningless dribble) or even gestures that suggest communication, in the future! Slowly he nodded his head and leaned in to kiss her. As their lips clasped he analyzed the outcome of his plan. Actually it was working quite well! He didn't have to talk or concede the fact anyone, except Midii, even existed . . .actually he never took the time to evaluate the pros and cons of kissing before, one of the solitary things that hadn't been mentally explained, described, hypothesized and appraised by Trowa. This was probably because right when he began to he always lost his train of thought somehow. And it was funny, because at that moment Midii slipped her tongue into his mouth, and he didn't even remember what he was thinking about. Well, if there was one thing Trowa would never understand the effects of, it was physical pleasure . . .damn what an effect it had on the . . . . . . - . . . . . . .What was he thinking about again? As Trowa slipped into fits of remembering what he at the time attempted to analyze then forgetting it again pressures were growing high between Wufei and Sally in the seat ahead . . .
"IT IS NOT MY FAULT!" Sally hissed at Wufei.
"YES IT IS IF YOU WOULDN'T HAVE MADE THE STUPID BET WITH THAT IDIOT MAXWELL WE WOULDN'T BE HERE RIGHT NOW!" he shouted back.
"SHUT UP CHANG-"
"-HOW DARE YOU CALL ME BY MY GIVEN NAME!" he interrupted, torrid with ire.
"I'LL CALL YOU WHATEVER THE HELL I WANNA CALL YOU, YOU JUSTICE-CRAZED MANIAC!" she shouted back. ~Gee . . . ~ she thought ~ Arguing with Wu-Wu is fun! ~
"Um, Miss, I'll have to ask you to please keep your voice down . . ." the nervous, mouse-like stewardess stammered. Sally looked up at her: the fake blonde hair, bright pink lipstick, too much blue eye shadow, and long, jungle red nails; and burst out laughing.
"Do I look like I flew this airline so my girlfriend could be bossed around?" Wufei cut in, Sally looked at him markedly.
"Um, no Sir it is just that-" Wufei silenced her with a spiteful stare.
"Good. Now run along and go flouncing your short skirted ass somewhere else." Sally commanded, and the woman, with a tremendously affronted look on her face huffed down the isle.
---Two Hours and Six Cocktails Later---
"Oooooooh . . ." Relena moaned. "Airplane margaritas . . .eww . . .this isn't like me at all . . ." her stomach convulsed, and the Japanese pilot adjacent to her wrinkled his nose. "I can't believe I let myself get like this . . ."
"Relena, were on vacation . . .it is okay to get drunk . . ." Noin commented from the seat across the isle.
"Not off airplane margaritas . . ." She moaned miserably.
"And it isn't a vacation if you were forced to go . . ." Heero mumbled, appearing uniformly as despondent.
How precisely Duo tricked them all into going, Noin wasn't sure. She knew they were at Quatre's house and Duo spiked the punch and got them really drunk. Then he made a bet that if each one lost a game of chess to him they'd have to go on vacation with Hilde and he. It was easy enough to beat (more like squash mercilessly) all of them, except Winner. In fact, Winner won . . .This baffled Noin. Why was he here if he won the game? She snorted; did he actually WANT to be here?
The answer to this riddle Noin never found out. Self-proclaimed Shinigami, Duo left no substantiation of his scandal. The way he did it was blackmail. Just "some friendly window-peeping between neighbors" in his terms. So, one way or another the Arabian blonde ended up on the plane, after a little 'persuasion'. Horrible, quite, but for Duo it was all in good fun, and Quatre didn't mind a great deal.
In total ennui, Noin scanned the cabin, just two hours passed since they boarded the plane, and things were already getting interesting. Duo and Hilde were not in their seats, Noin suspected the bathroom; meanwhile Dorothy was feeding Quatre strawberries, as Trowa and Midii made out in the more isolated back row of the aircraft. Leisurely, Noin lifted a brow: they were like children . . .you couldn't take them anywhere! Wufei and Sally Po were just kind of . . .sitting there; now that they were done arguing all conversation was limited, at least while they were in public. To no great level of astounding Heero was glaring at Relena. Noin could almost feel the words "I will kill you." beseeching to escape his lips. Sweetly, and utterly oblivious Relena gazed up, smiling a chaste little grin. Zechs was asleep next to Noin, nodding of onto her shoulder.
~I wonder what he is dreaming about . . .? ~ Noin thought. Her fingers itched to stroke his face, and her lips were imploring eagerly to kiss him. For a long time she watched as his chest rose and fell, with each breath amplified the wobbly sensation in her stomach. Platinum blonde hair shaded his eyes, and much of his face; she longed to brush it away, simply to stare at him. Without thinking her hand moved closer and closer to his warm tan skin, and she leaned forward, but just as she began to feel the warm aura his body heat gave . . .
"Miss, would you like anything to drink?" Noin jumped, her heart racing. Slowly she turned to see what interrupted her. A young stewardess smacking a HUGE piece of bubble gum stood behind her, trying to repress giggles.
"No." Noin said categorically. "How long before we reach Lanikai?"
"About another two hours." The girl smacked stridently as she spoke.
DAMN! Two hours . . .at this rate Noin was going to become a mental case by the time she got off on the plane. Chiefly since the rest of the pilots weren't exactly the PDA police*. . . Aghast, she shuddered and tried to expunge the image of Quatre eating out of Dorothy's hand from her head.
Thirty minutes too late to save Noin's poor scarred mind the cinema feature began to roll.
"Come on! Something good!" Noin begged. "Gone With the Wind!" she pleaded with the television screen.
"Welcome to . . .Britney Spears live in concert, followed by the WCW Smack-down . . ." the narrator announced. The only thing that the paralyzed and mortified navy-haired vixen could do was inwardly scream . . .
---One Plane-Ride-In-Hell Later---
"I am NEVER getting on a plane with those people again! EVER!" Noin stated plainly. End of argument. "And if I EVER have to hear Britney Spears once more I am gonna shoot something . . .or someone . . ." Zechs stared at her, a quirky smile bordering his lips.
~ She's so cute when she gets mad . . . ~ he thought.
They stepped (more like stumbled) off the tiny plane and their eyes expanded at the spectacle around them. Never-ending emerald rain forest stretched out over the humid land. Tropical birds flew above, and their cries mingled with the serene echo of waves washing on the nearby shore. It was utopia.
"Hello . . .and welcome to Temptation Island . . .I'm your host . . .Howard . . ." came a voice from behind the astounded group.
"HOWARD?" they all echoed in unison. The elderly, frail man stood hunched over, still wearing the same pink Hawaiian shirt and an idiosyncratic grin.
"Yeah . . .It's me, Howard . . ." he replied, sounding reasonably thwarted. "Since the war ended, I discovered my new passion . . .well, besides ballet, being a TV show host . . ." Everyone raised a brow.
"Right . . ." Duo commented, smirking.
The boat sped through the huge pale-blue lagoon, until they met the rickety wooden dock on the other end. All of them were still flabbergasted at the utter exquisiteness and harmony of the isle Lanikai. Through the hot sand they trudged, up to a cul-de-sac of 6 large thatched huts.
"This is Halawa, where the ladies, and single men will be staying . . ." Howard noted, leading them to the middle of the court to where a single hut, a bar stood, it had a huge pool and numerous hot tubs around it.
"Now this is my kinda place!" Dorothy whispered to Sally, as they were all handed fruit-adorned cocktails. Each couple was given two necklaces of the same colour and Howard instructed they should each put one on. For a few minutes they say and drank in silence. Apprehensions were high among them, each person was edgy and fairly nervous about being separated from their mates and seduced . . .who wouldn't be? This could entirely destroy their relationships, frankly that scared the shit out of all of them; even Wufei's trepidation was losing Sally.
"All right . . ." Howard returned at last and shattered the uneasy silence.
"The guests have arrived . . .follow me . . ." he led them down a jungle path that twisted and turned through the astounding foliage until they came to a huge pool, standing around the edges were 13 males, and 13 females, each one more beautiful than the last. "Okay folks . . .have a seat in those chairs over there, and we can begin introducing the singles . . ." Immediately everyone sat, and waited with bated breath. "We'll do the girls first." Howard motioned for them to start, and the first girl in line walked to the dais.
"My name is Bunny, and I am a former Playboy model . . .and I like it HOT!" she yelled. There were claps from the single men, and the pilots. The girls were appalled.
"That is disgusting . . .look at them . . .they are all so slutty . . ." Hilde shrieked as a Kindergarten teacher named "Candy" walked away from the podium amid clapping.
"This IS sickening . . ." Relena agreed. "And look, the guys are going along with it . . ."
"Oh Winner is SO dead once I get my hands on that bottle of Icy-Hot at home . . ." Dorothy said, her teeth bared like a vicious animal. Meanwhile, the boys were cheering on a Swedish model named "Shalom".
"We have to protect our territory . . .they ARE our territory . . .and I am not letting some candy-ass whore drool all over MY man!" Hilde said. The boys were beginning to get diminutively guarded of their significant others' plotting in the corner . . .but that soon ebbed as a masseur named "Sunny" stepped up to the plinth.
"Alright . . .how hard can it possibly be to sneak over to the boys camp and play a few . . .harmless pranks on our slutty little friends?" Midii asked, beginning to feel a little better about the circumstances.
"Not hard at all." Hilde commented expertly, though not wanting to divulge she did extensive investigation on the island first. "We just go down the shore . . .its about three miles down the coast, I think . . ." she smiled impishly, thinking about putting mayonnaise in their pillowcases . . . ~ Aah, sweet revenge! ~ Thought Hilde as Duo whistled at the last of the 13 girls.
Next the guys were up. They were all pretty buff and tan . . .not to mention cute . . .but Hilde or Relena couldn't really adjust to the idea of guys whoring themselves off for money . . .
"Uhm . . .my name is Abdul, and I am a former soldier . . ." All the girls, and Quatre stood, staring and gaping at the (shirtless) former maguanac.
"Eep . . .its Abdul!" Quatre gasped. ~ Abdul? HERE? Whoring himself off like some pathetic low-life . . .amusing . . .~ thought the blonde boy. ~Quite amusing. ~
There were Brians, Ricks, Stevens, and many other single men, all with dissimilar jobs, all hand selected according to the penchants of each woman. NOW the guys had a basis to be anxious.
"So . . .Quatre . . .are you at all worried about any of the candidates up here?" Howard asked him, after the singles were done.
"Well, yes actually . . ." he replied innocently.
"What about you, Duo . . .?"
"Several," Duo mumbled, harassed.
"Well . . .what if I told you guys you have five minutes to vote one guy off the island?" Howard questioned. They put their heads together and thought up the one that presents the biggest problem.
"We choose Bill . . .the um, stripper . . ." Wufei said, with a lot of mirth. The dejected stripper huffed heatedly, and stalked away, glaring at the guys.
"Alright . . .girls?" Howard asked.
"Yeah . . .we pick . . . the masseur." Sally said, giving her an evil eye. All the boys pouted.
"Okay . . .now that that is all finished I have one more thing . . ." Howard began. "Here I have a bracelet for each of you . . .you can choose someone that you don't want your partner to date, and put the bracelet on them, and they are banned from dating. Hilde . . .you first . . ." Howard handed her a bracelet, the same lime colour as her necklace. With an evil glare in her eye she walked up to Bunny and tossed it at her feet.
"That's a shame . . ." Bunny snarled, "He was kinda cute . . .I was looking forward to getting to know him." She smirked broadly, Hilde turned around, her face enraged.
"What did you say?" Hilde snarled.
"You heard me." The short and slightly pudgy Bunny replied.
"You'll live to regret that, stupid whore!" Hilde shrieked, and slapped her very hard across the face. In a whirl of fists they were on the ground, ripping at each other. Hurriedly, Duo pulled the still-thrashing Hilde away. "BITCH!" she screamed at Bunny, a little blood trickled from her mouth, but Bunny's face was a lot more beat up. Both of Bunny's eyes were black, and one of her teeth broken.
"You ugly boob-less wannabe!" Bunny cried. Hilde had also managed to pull out a lock of her hair out. Despite Duo's clench Hilde threw herself at the short slut, only to be picked up by an angry Shinigami and carried like a sack of potatoes back to her seat.
And so the girls went on, marking the singles they didn't want near their boys, and the guys did the same. By the time they were finished the ruby-red sun was low on the horizon. Somewhat shaken by everything that was happening the group trudged through the forest again back to Halawa, where they would eat their last meal together.
They ate in complete silence, the dining room tranquil as a morgue. That was the time the real tension built up. Duo looked over at Hilde, his violet-blue eyes shimmering in the candlelight.
"Babe?" he bent over and whispered in her ear just as Howard announced dinner over, and time to say the final goodbyes for two weeks. Charmingly Duo took Hilde's hand and led her outside. "Hilde . . ." he whispered playfully, still there was sadness in his voice. "No matter what happens I will forgive you." He continued, brushing short spiky hair away from her bright blue eyes.
"I will forgive you to Duo, but we could save ourselves a lot of shit if we just stay true to each other . . ." she wasn't sure why, but a single tear dripped from the corner of her eye.
"Hilde . . .I will never forsake you." Duo promised, brushing the tear away. Slowly she leaned in and kissed him, first lightly, then his lips parted and let her curious tongue inside to survey every ridge, every corner passionately, and he did the same to her. In the moonlight he held her against him, the sound of the waves all around them, and fondled her small but plump breasts in his large, strong hands.
"Duo." Interrupted Howard. Unwillingly he broke away. "Its time to go." Howard beckoned to the boat.
"I love you Hilde." He wiped away the salty tears that began to flow freely down her cheeks like a mountain stream.
"Duo!" she called and winked, trying to make him remember their deal to meet on the beach.
"Okay." He mouthed silently, and then he was gone.
---Ten Minutes Later---
"Oh come on Re-Chan! Don't cry!" Noin pleaded, patting her back.
"I_ miss _ Heero!" she sobbed, her face ruby and blemished from crying. Noin insistently patted her back. "I know it's only for two weeks, but the fact he'll be surrounded by beautiful girls-" she ruptured into anguished sobs again.
"Awww . . .Relena, everything will be fine! Hee-Chan loves you, he wouldn't cheat!" Midii assured her.
"You -*sniff*- really think so?" Relena asked.
"Of course I do!" Midii replied. "Now we need to make a plan to sabotage the girls!" Hilde's eyes shot up as Midii said this. An hour later they had everything premeditated, and all their paraphernalia packed. The 6 vixens were loaded with mayonnaise, catsup, pickles, Vienna sausages, whipped cream, and honey from the refrigerators in each of their little huts.
"Okay, girls . . .move out . . ." Hilde commanded, and they embarked into the night.
--- And the plot thickens! (Yes, there is a plot) ---
The Gundam girls get their laughs, the singles get a big surprise, Quatre learns exactly what whores are proficient of, and Duo gets a "present" on the beach . . .
Next time on: Fated for Failure!!!
~*~*~
Hey, . . .I never said it would be good! Review and tell me if it totally sucked!
----
*PDA police- someone who is against public display of affection.
Another production brought to you by every one's favourite Mango-lover: Kawaii Juice!
The Disclaimer, Much Hated Among the Forest Brethren!
I do not own Gundam Wing. "Temptation Island" is a trademark of . . .uh, Fox I think, and most likely thought up by the twisted psycho behind "Survivor".
Well, I came up with this idea after watching "Temptation Island" (can ya tell?) For all you sheltered or naïve people it is a TV show where four unmarried couples (six in this case) go to a tropical paradise where 26 "sexy singles" are waiting to seduce them. So, they are separated from their partners for two weeks, and the singles try their luck at the game of seduction. Each single is individually chosen according to the specific likes of the guy/girl so it makes them A LOT more likely to get involved with one another. For all you thick people out there: the object of the game is not to cheat on the significant other! I thought it would be interesting to see how the Gundam pilots and their chicks reacted to this, and I hope you think so too!
Warnings: Profanity, some sexual hints and stuff, and eventually there will be Lemon . . .but not in this one!
ON WITH THE STORY ALREADY, KAWAII!
Fated for Failure
The engine droned gamely, and the cabin of the confined and tiny private jet shook sadistically as it departed from the airport. Duo peered out the window at the land below, and observed the cars going from cars, to little multi-colored bugs, to tiny specks of dust, and then disappearing all together as they rose above the billows. When he first made the bet, and hoaxed the pilots into doing this he no problem with the prospect of girls VOLUNTARILY trying to make him cheat on his wife presented itself, but as usual reality hit him late, and now he felt very sorry. Suppose he cheated on Hilde, and lost her? Life then hardly would be endurable! Tentatively he faced the veracity that that these things were plausible, and that he or Hilde might cheat, and never absolve each other. Or would they? His mind argued. ~Me 'n' Hilde are soul mates . . .surely we'd get over our problems if we cheated here . . .~ Duo reassured himself. Still that malicious influence in the back of his mind doubted him. ~What if you don't,~ said the voice. ~What if Hilde finds someone better and moves on, and you are left all alone again? ~ Crazy, how the voices in his head made him feel valueless and shitty sometimes . . .
"Duo?" the black-haired vixen poked him. "DUO?" she tugged on his braid slightly. Slow reflexes spading his brooding mind, he tugged his head up.
"Hm?" he grunted, still ogling out the window. Hilde smiled widely.
"Know way the 'God of Death' is getting cold feet?" she exclaimed, thunderstruck, at last comprehending the quandary. "It was your idea!"
"I know . . .I'm not getting cold feet, Hild!" Duo lied. "I uh-just-all this air travel . . .and being in such a tiny space makes me feel kinda sick." ~Damnet Maxwell, you were a Gundam pilot, could you think of a stupider lie than that? ~ He admonished himself. Genuinely, Hilde was apprehensive about him . . .did he candidly qualm their relationship?
It wasn't that he doubted their relationship, but just the chance that he COULD lose Hilde, even if it is one in a million, scared the shit out of him. Hilde made it worth getting up in the morning; added color to his otherwise tedious life, and lacking her, Duo only existed as an empty shell, devoid of life or emotion. She was his goddess; his gift from the heavens, and doing this basically equivalences sending a snowball to the devil.
"Are you really feeling alright Duo? You don't look too good," Hilde continued. "Well, I have something that might cheer you up . . ." Duo's eyes lit up with anticipation. If it were like any of Hilde's other "surprises" he'd like it. "I knew we'd miss each other-" she leaned closer to him and began to whisper. "And frankly Duo, I don't know how long I can go without fucking you . . .two weeks is an awful long time-" she paused as Duo licked his lips slightly, and advocated her to continue. "So, I am going to cheat." She pulled two pieces of paper from her pocket and passed one to Duo. "This is a map of the island. See, that is the girl's camp, and that is the boy's . . .they are separated by a lagoon, and about two miles of forest. It is about three miles to the boy's camp from the girl's if you take the beach, so if we walk on the shore we can meet halfway. I already have it all figured out!" she said, sounding quite blissful by her own extensive preparation. Never, she ceased to amaze Duo, and he smiled widely. Most people would think cheating to see your girlfriend would take the fun out of it; but personally, having sex in secret, somewhere on the coast, down in the sand sounded quite fine with him. "See, I've calculated the halfway point, approximately 1.5 miles down the coastline there is a large boulder on the shore, we can meet there every other night!" Hilde sounded very eager already.
~Cute . . .~ thought Duo; he found it adorable that she would go so out of her way to see him! "Sounds great babe!" he said, folding the map and shoving it into the pocket of his khaki shorts.
"I smell a plot cooking up in the Maxwell family . . ." Dorothy accused from the seat in front of them. Of course her instincts were precise, but Duo and Hilde still pretended as though they knew nothing, both putting on guiltless grins. "Yeah . . .I get enough innocent smiles from Winner . . ." Dorothy carped, sounding quite uninterested with Quatre at the moment.
"Twenty bucks says Winner is going to sit around and iread/I for two weeks!" shouted Hilde, so the whole plane could here. There were grunts of approval from Sally, Wufei and Dorothy.
"I am NOT going to read all weekend . . ." the blonde pilot did his best to defend himself while reading, and typically not trailing his nearly non-existent temper.
"You BETTER read all weekend! If I find out you picked up one of those hussy sluts they hired to seduce you I swear the instant you step off the island you will live to regret it, so says I, and the bottle of Icy-Hot in the medicine cabinet!" Dorothy threatened. Quatre gulped, tremulous at the panorama of being tormented with Icy-Hot . . .it only happened once before, though he made QUITE clear to Dorothy not to . . .and it was not an experience he cared to relive. The once unblemished boy shuddered.
"A-alright." he stammered, turning somewhat red.
"You are so CUTE when I intimidate you!" Dorothy smiled her sultry smile and kissed him nonchalantly on his soft lips, her tongue mischievously grazing the roof of his mouth, leaving him fraught for more.
---
"Eww! If I have to look at Catalonia and her boy-toy making out one more time I swear I am going to throw up!" Noin said, trying to look away as the playful kiss evolved into a deeper, more zealous lip-lock.
"I definitely second that opinion." Zechs agreed, scanning the plane for something interesting to look at. "I still can't believe Maxwell tricked up all into coming here," he muttered, incredulously.
"Try to enjoy yourself!" Noin rose a brow at him "God knows we both need a vacation . . ." she muttered softly, so he scarcely heard her.
"Hm . . .my girlfriend left alone with a bunch of single, buff men . . .her idea of a vacation . . .my idea of a nightmare . . ." Zechs stated, beginning to twiddle his thumbs in sheer tedium.
"Right! Yeah, make me out to be the cheater; I see how it is . . ." Noin half-yelled back at him. "As if you aren't going to sit there all day gawking at girls on the beach!"
There yells carried across the plane to Midii and Trowa.
"Trowa?" he soft voice cooed to him. Finally she scraped up enough courage to ask him. "You don't think you'll meet - another girl . . .do you?" she asked, her voice as sugary as humanly doable. For a few moments he just stared at her, almost in disbelief that she inquired this.
"No." his Hawaiian, blue and green tie-dyed shirt that Midii (literally) forced him to wear almost made him appear less deadpan! Midii noticed jubilantly, in finding he wouldn't cheat. The thought maybe he would go back on his word never crossed her mind . . .
"Trowa?" she questioned again. Once more he gazed up from the window, this time slightly exasperated with her ostensibly eternal questions.
"What?" he drawled.
"Can I kiss you?" He raised a brow. Three years and she still asked him . . .? He observed. This time he better say something, almost gleefully, he noted possibly it would end more verbal conversation, (to him: meaningless dribble) or even gestures that suggest communication, in the future! Slowly he nodded his head and leaned in to kiss her. As their lips clasped he analyzed the outcome of his plan. Actually it was working quite well! He didn't have to talk or concede the fact anyone, except Midii, even existed . . .actually he never took the time to evaluate the pros and cons of kissing before, one of the solitary things that hadn't been mentally explained, described, hypothesized and appraised by Trowa. This was probably because right when he began to he always lost his train of thought somehow. And it was funny, because at that moment Midii slipped her tongue into his mouth, and he didn't even remember what he was thinking about. Well, if there was one thing Trowa would never understand the effects of, it was physical pleasure . . .damn what an effect it had on the . . . . . . - . . . . . . .What was he thinking about again? As Trowa slipped into fits of remembering what he at the time attempted to analyze then forgetting it again pressures were growing high between Wufei and Sally in the seat ahead . . .
"IT IS NOT MY FAULT!" Sally hissed at Wufei.
"YES IT IS IF YOU WOULDN'T HAVE MADE THE STUPID BET WITH THAT IDIOT MAXWELL WE WOULDN'T BE HERE RIGHT NOW!" he shouted back.
"SHUT UP CHANG-"
"-HOW DARE YOU CALL ME BY MY GIVEN NAME!" he interrupted, torrid with ire.
"I'LL CALL YOU WHATEVER THE HELL I WANNA CALL YOU, YOU JUSTICE-CRAZED MANIAC!" she shouted back. ~Gee . . . ~ she thought ~ Arguing with Wu-Wu is fun! ~
"Um, Miss, I'll have to ask you to please keep your voice down . . ." the nervous, mouse-like stewardess stammered. Sally looked up at her: the fake blonde hair, bright pink lipstick, too much blue eye shadow, and long, jungle red nails; and burst out laughing.
"Do I look like I flew this airline so my girlfriend could be bossed around?" Wufei cut in, Sally looked at him markedly.
"Um, no Sir it is just that-" Wufei silenced her with a spiteful stare.
"Good. Now run along and go flouncing your short skirted ass somewhere else." Sally commanded, and the woman, with a tremendously affronted look on her face huffed down the isle.
---Two Hours and Six Cocktails Later---
"Oooooooh . . ." Relena moaned. "Airplane margaritas . . .eww . . .this isn't like me at all . . ." her stomach convulsed, and the Japanese pilot adjacent to her wrinkled his nose. "I can't believe I let myself get like this . . ."
"Relena, were on vacation . . .it is okay to get drunk . . ." Noin commented from the seat across the isle.
"Not off airplane margaritas . . ." She moaned miserably.
"And it isn't a vacation if you were forced to go . . ." Heero mumbled, appearing uniformly as despondent.
How precisely Duo tricked them all into going, Noin wasn't sure. She knew they were at Quatre's house and Duo spiked the punch and got them really drunk. Then he made a bet that if each one lost a game of chess to him they'd have to go on vacation with Hilde and he. It was easy enough to beat (more like squash mercilessly) all of them, except Winner. In fact, Winner won . . .This baffled Noin. Why was he here if he won the game? She snorted; did he actually WANT to be here?
The answer to this riddle Noin never found out. Self-proclaimed Shinigami, Duo left no substantiation of his scandal. The way he did it was blackmail. Just "some friendly window-peeping between neighbors" in his terms. So, one way or another the Arabian blonde ended up on the plane, after a little 'persuasion'. Horrible, quite, but for Duo it was all in good fun, and Quatre didn't mind a great deal.
In total ennui, Noin scanned the cabin, just two hours passed since they boarded the plane, and things were already getting interesting. Duo and Hilde were not in their seats, Noin suspected the bathroom; meanwhile Dorothy was feeding Quatre strawberries, as Trowa and Midii made out in the more isolated back row of the aircraft. Leisurely, Noin lifted a brow: they were like children . . .you couldn't take them anywhere! Wufei and Sally Po were just kind of . . .sitting there; now that they were done arguing all conversation was limited, at least while they were in public. To no great level of astounding Heero was glaring at Relena. Noin could almost feel the words "I will kill you." beseeching to escape his lips. Sweetly, and utterly oblivious Relena gazed up, smiling a chaste little grin. Zechs was asleep next to Noin, nodding of onto her shoulder.
~I wonder what he is dreaming about . . .? ~ Noin thought. Her fingers itched to stroke his face, and her lips were imploring eagerly to kiss him. For a long time she watched as his chest rose and fell, with each breath amplified the wobbly sensation in her stomach. Platinum blonde hair shaded his eyes, and much of his face; she longed to brush it away, simply to stare at him. Without thinking her hand moved closer and closer to his warm tan skin, and she leaned forward, but just as she began to feel the warm aura his body heat gave . . .
"Miss, would you like anything to drink?" Noin jumped, her heart racing. Slowly she turned to see what interrupted her. A young stewardess smacking a HUGE piece of bubble gum stood behind her, trying to repress giggles.
"No." Noin said categorically. "How long before we reach Lanikai?"
"About another two hours." The girl smacked stridently as she spoke.
DAMN! Two hours . . .at this rate Noin was going to become a mental case by the time she got off on the plane. Chiefly since the rest of the pilots weren't exactly the PDA police*. . . Aghast, she shuddered and tried to expunge the image of Quatre eating out of Dorothy's hand from her head.
Thirty minutes too late to save Noin's poor scarred mind the cinema feature began to roll.
"Come on! Something good!" Noin begged. "Gone With the Wind!" she pleaded with the television screen.
"Welcome to . . .Britney Spears live in concert, followed by the WCW Smack-down . . ." the narrator announced. The only thing that the paralyzed and mortified navy-haired vixen could do was inwardly scream . . .
---One Plane-Ride-In-Hell Later---
"I am NEVER getting on a plane with those people again! EVER!" Noin stated plainly. End of argument. "And if I EVER have to hear Britney Spears once more I am gonna shoot something . . .or someone . . ." Zechs stared at her, a quirky smile bordering his lips.
~ She's so cute when she gets mad . . . ~ he thought.
They stepped (more like stumbled) off the tiny plane and their eyes expanded at the spectacle around them. Never-ending emerald rain forest stretched out over the humid land. Tropical birds flew above, and their cries mingled with the serene echo of waves washing on the nearby shore. It was utopia.
"Hello . . .and welcome to Temptation Island . . .I'm your host . . .Howard . . ." came a voice from behind the astounded group.
"HOWARD?" they all echoed in unison. The elderly, frail man stood hunched over, still wearing the same pink Hawaiian shirt and an idiosyncratic grin.
"Yeah . . .It's me, Howard . . ." he replied, sounding reasonably thwarted. "Since the war ended, I discovered my new passion . . .well, besides ballet, being a TV show host . . ." Everyone raised a brow.
"Right . . ." Duo commented, smirking.
The boat sped through the huge pale-blue lagoon, until they met the rickety wooden dock on the other end. All of them were still flabbergasted at the utter exquisiteness and harmony of the isle Lanikai. Through the hot sand they trudged, up to a cul-de-sac of 6 large thatched huts.
"This is Halawa, where the ladies, and single men will be staying . . ." Howard noted, leading them to the middle of the court to where a single hut, a bar stood, it had a huge pool and numerous hot tubs around it.
"Now this is my kinda place!" Dorothy whispered to Sally, as they were all handed fruit-adorned cocktails. Each couple was given two necklaces of the same colour and Howard instructed they should each put one on. For a few minutes they say and drank in silence. Apprehensions were high among them, each person was edgy and fairly nervous about being separated from their mates and seduced . . .who wouldn't be? This could entirely destroy their relationships, frankly that scared the shit out of all of them; even Wufei's trepidation was losing Sally.
"All right . . ." Howard returned at last and shattered the uneasy silence.
"The guests have arrived . . .follow me . . ." he led them down a jungle path that twisted and turned through the astounding foliage until they came to a huge pool, standing around the edges were 13 males, and 13 females, each one more beautiful than the last. "Okay folks . . .have a seat in those chairs over there, and we can begin introducing the singles . . ." Immediately everyone sat, and waited with bated breath. "We'll do the girls first." Howard motioned for them to start, and the first girl in line walked to the dais.
"My name is Bunny, and I am a former Playboy model . . .and I like it HOT!" she yelled. There were claps from the single men, and the pilots. The girls were appalled.
"That is disgusting . . .look at them . . .they are all so slutty . . ." Hilde shrieked as a Kindergarten teacher named "Candy" walked away from the podium amid clapping.
"This IS sickening . . ." Relena agreed. "And look, the guys are going along with it . . ."
"Oh Winner is SO dead once I get my hands on that bottle of Icy-Hot at home . . ." Dorothy said, her teeth bared like a vicious animal. Meanwhile, the boys were cheering on a Swedish model named "Shalom".
"We have to protect our territory . . .they ARE our territory . . .and I am not letting some candy-ass whore drool all over MY man!" Hilde said. The boys were beginning to get diminutively guarded of their significant others' plotting in the corner . . .but that soon ebbed as a masseur named "Sunny" stepped up to the plinth.
"Alright . . .how hard can it possibly be to sneak over to the boys camp and play a few . . .harmless pranks on our slutty little friends?" Midii asked, beginning to feel a little better about the circumstances.
"Not hard at all." Hilde commented expertly, though not wanting to divulge she did extensive investigation on the island first. "We just go down the shore . . .its about three miles down the coast, I think . . ." she smiled impishly, thinking about putting mayonnaise in their pillowcases . . . ~ Aah, sweet revenge! ~ Thought Hilde as Duo whistled at the last of the 13 girls.
Next the guys were up. They were all pretty buff and tan . . .not to mention cute . . .but Hilde or Relena couldn't really adjust to the idea of guys whoring themselves off for money . . .
"Uhm . . .my name is Abdul, and I am a former soldier . . ." All the girls, and Quatre stood, staring and gaping at the (shirtless) former maguanac.
"Eep . . .its Abdul!" Quatre gasped. ~ Abdul? HERE? Whoring himself off like some pathetic low-life . . .amusing . . .~ thought the blonde boy. ~Quite amusing. ~
There were Brians, Ricks, Stevens, and many other single men, all with dissimilar jobs, all hand selected according to the penchants of each woman. NOW the guys had a basis to be anxious.
"So . . .Quatre . . .are you at all worried about any of the candidates up here?" Howard asked him, after the singles were done.
"Well, yes actually . . ." he replied innocently.
"What about you, Duo . . .?"
"Several," Duo mumbled, harassed.
"Well . . .what if I told you guys you have five minutes to vote one guy off the island?" Howard questioned. They put their heads together and thought up the one that presents the biggest problem.
"We choose Bill . . .the um, stripper . . ." Wufei said, with a lot of mirth. The dejected stripper huffed heatedly, and stalked away, glaring at the guys.
"Alright . . .girls?" Howard asked.
"Yeah . . .we pick . . . the masseur." Sally said, giving her an evil eye. All the boys pouted.
"Okay . . .now that that is all finished I have one more thing . . ." Howard began. "Here I have a bracelet for each of you . . .you can choose someone that you don't want your partner to date, and put the bracelet on them, and they are banned from dating. Hilde . . .you first . . ." Howard handed her a bracelet, the same lime colour as her necklace. With an evil glare in her eye she walked up to Bunny and tossed it at her feet.
"That's a shame . . ." Bunny snarled, "He was kinda cute . . .I was looking forward to getting to know him." She smirked broadly, Hilde turned around, her face enraged.
"What did you say?" Hilde snarled.
"You heard me." The short and slightly pudgy Bunny replied.
"You'll live to regret that, stupid whore!" Hilde shrieked, and slapped her very hard across the face. In a whirl of fists they were on the ground, ripping at each other. Hurriedly, Duo pulled the still-thrashing Hilde away. "BITCH!" she screamed at Bunny, a little blood trickled from her mouth, but Bunny's face was a lot more beat up. Both of Bunny's eyes were black, and one of her teeth broken.
"You ugly boob-less wannabe!" Bunny cried. Hilde had also managed to pull out a lock of her hair out. Despite Duo's clench Hilde threw herself at the short slut, only to be picked up by an angry Shinigami and carried like a sack of potatoes back to her seat.
And so the girls went on, marking the singles they didn't want near their boys, and the guys did the same. By the time they were finished the ruby-red sun was low on the horizon. Somewhat shaken by everything that was happening the group trudged through the forest again back to Halawa, where they would eat their last meal together.
They ate in complete silence, the dining room tranquil as a morgue. That was the time the real tension built up. Duo looked over at Hilde, his violet-blue eyes shimmering in the candlelight.
"Babe?" he bent over and whispered in her ear just as Howard announced dinner over, and time to say the final goodbyes for two weeks. Charmingly Duo took Hilde's hand and led her outside. "Hilde . . ." he whispered playfully, still there was sadness in his voice. "No matter what happens I will forgive you." He continued, brushing short spiky hair away from her bright blue eyes.
"I will forgive you to Duo, but we could save ourselves a lot of shit if we just stay true to each other . . ." she wasn't sure why, but a single tear dripped from the corner of her eye.
"Hilde . . .I will never forsake you." Duo promised, brushing the tear away. Slowly she leaned in and kissed him, first lightly, then his lips parted and let her curious tongue inside to survey every ridge, every corner passionately, and he did the same to her. In the moonlight he held her against him, the sound of the waves all around them, and fondled her small but plump breasts in his large, strong hands.
"Duo." Interrupted Howard. Unwillingly he broke away. "Its time to go." Howard beckoned to the boat.
"I love you Hilde." He wiped away the salty tears that began to flow freely down her cheeks like a mountain stream.
"Duo!" she called and winked, trying to make him remember their deal to meet on the beach.
"Okay." He mouthed silently, and then he was gone.
---Ten Minutes Later---
"Oh come on Re-Chan! Don't cry!" Noin pleaded, patting her back.
"I_ miss _ Heero!" she sobbed, her face ruby and blemished from crying. Noin insistently patted her back. "I know it's only for two weeks, but the fact he'll be surrounded by beautiful girls-" she ruptured into anguished sobs again.
"Awww . . .Relena, everything will be fine! Hee-Chan loves you, he wouldn't cheat!" Midii assured her.
"You -*sniff*- really think so?" Relena asked.
"Of course I do!" Midii replied. "Now we need to make a plan to sabotage the girls!" Hilde's eyes shot up as Midii said this. An hour later they had everything premeditated, and all their paraphernalia packed. The 6 vixens were loaded with mayonnaise, catsup, pickles, Vienna sausages, whipped cream, and honey from the refrigerators in each of their little huts.
"Okay, girls . . .move out . . ." Hilde commanded, and they embarked into the night.
--- And the plot thickens! (Yes, there is a plot) ---
The Gundam girls get their laughs, the singles get a big surprise, Quatre learns exactly what whores are proficient of, and Duo gets a "present" on the beach . . .
Next time on: Fated for Failure!!!
~*~*~
Hey, . . .I never said it would be good! Review and tell me if it totally sucked!
----
*PDA police- someone who is against public display of affection.
