Disclaimer : I do not own the Outsiders. Any words that are unfamilliar are not mine either.

Notes: Um...this takes place a several months after the book. It's now sometime during the summer.

New note, be-otch: Fuck my life. My old e-mail either fell into a black hole, was abducted by aliens or joined the Galactic Empire or some shite like that because I can't fricken get into it. Anyway, Yes, it is I, Trench Mouth. I'mma gunna re-do this story, fix my mistakes , ya know…grammar and shit, add or take out some shit, maybe add some more Easter eggs for the hell of it. I dunno. Didn't change too much in this chapter, just fixed it up a bit.


"What's it going to be then, eh?"

I had been running, and had been somewhere in the middle of Shepard Territory when I heard a scream. I hurried down the street and came to a stop in front of a darkened alley. At the other end, six hoods I didn't recognize were holding down one girl which I did. I had seen her several times around the neighborhood, but I didn't know her name. She still had her panties on, although not much else. The scene in front of me seemed awful familiar. I had read something like this not too long ago. My new favorite book.

"Well," I couldn't stop the words from coming out, and I was talking real loud " If it isn't fat stinking billygoat Billyboy in art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip-oil?" I reached into my back pocket," Come and get one in the yarbles, if you have any yarbles, you eunich jelly, thou." I pulled out the razor I carried in my back pocket and pulled out the blade. It wasn't a switch or a butterfly knife. It was a real straight razor. Darry got it for me for by birthday few weeks ago. He said that I was now old enough for my own 'britva'. I learned two very important things that day. First, Darry pays closer attention to what I'm doing and reading than I had orginally thought. And secondly, and most importantly, Darry had a scene of humor. Go figure.

Although relations between the Soc's and us Greasers has been less violent recently- not stopped all together,but less frequent attacks -, a new gang was trying to muscle in on Shepard's Territory. It had gotten so violent just on our side of the tracks, several people I know started carrying pooshka's...uh...heaters, including Tim Shepard. I figured that's who these ...prestoopniks were with the new would be invading gang-bangers.

In all honesty, I probably could have planned this better. They did let go of the girl. She ran past me, still crying, still nearly naked. But now I had six big bad hoodlums staring me down. They weren't approaching yet. Still probably trying to figure out what the hell I just said. Hell, these guys probably never read a book that doesn't have pictures.

"What's it going to be then, eh?"

I probably could have thought that one through more, too. Shit, I was the fastest runner in the school, hell, maybe in the whole damn town. I could have beat it outta there, no problem. These slow , dim creatures would never catch me. But noooooooooooo. I had to taunt the S.O.B's. Darry's right, I don't use my head.

Surprisingly, only one guy came forward. I was expecting all six to pounce at once. I waved my razor toward them, as menacingly as I could. The idiot didn't think to step back. I cut his cheek. He didn't seem to notice at first. He cursed when he did, and called me a few things I do not wish to repeat, then his five cronies stepped forward. I was about to bolt when I heard a gun cock from behind me. I really hoped that it wasn't pointed at me.

I glanced over my shoulder, and let out a breath I wasn't aware I was holding. Behind me stood Curly Shepard, in all of his delinquent glory.

He threatened to shoot them if they didn't leave right now. Except he used a lot more cuss words and wasn't as articulate.

They left, yelling some threats of their own. 'We'll be back!' 'You'll be sorry!' you know, that kinda bullshit.

"Good timing." I told him, once the Neanderthals were outta sight. He tucked the gun into his waistband. " How'dja know I was here?"

"Well the girl runnin' down the street, cryin' an' in her underpants was a good clue." Curly told me.

"Oh...right..."

"Man, you could'a gotten yerself kill if I hadn't stepped in. Christ, man, where was yer head at?"

This was all pretty funny coming from Curly. I would have pointed out that he was being kinda of hypocritical, but I figured it had too many syllables for him, so I just smirked a little. Shrugged, "Just out for a run." I put the razor back in my pocket.

Curly shook his head, "You need a lift home?"

I nodded and we headed to a car parked a little further down the street. After getting into the car, we headed down the street. We sat in silence for a moment, then I decided to point out, "Uh, Curly...you don't have your license."

"Wha's yer point?" He asked

"Well...isn't this kinda...ya know...breaking the law?"

"...wha's yer point?"

I shook my head," Isn't breaking the law kind of..you know...something you're not allowed to do while in Probation?"

He shrugged, "Naw, man. It's cool."

Right. "Well, doesn't own a firearm a violation of your Probation?"

"...n...naw."

A beat. "Does Tim know you have a gun."

"No. And he ain't gunna find out. You can't tell 'im about the gun."

I knew the drill. "What gun?"

His brows furrowed in confusion. "My gun. You can't tell no one about it."

I laughed. It wasn't a snort, or a short chuckle, or a giggle fit. No, it was long, loud, boisterous laughter. Curly was a nice guy, and all. A good friend to have, but man, was he just so slow sometimes.

"Wha's so funny?" He asked, pulling up in front of my house.

"You are just dumber than a bag of hammers."

"I thought you was suppost ta be smart, Pony..."

I smirked, "Oh, I is plenty smart, Curly..." I opened the car door.

"Insulting a person with a gun ain't smart."

I chuckled and got out of the car, "You should stick with a blade, Curly."

"Oh, yeah? Should I get me a shiny new razor?"

"Just because Tim has a gun, doesn't mean you need one. Get rid of it. It's not like you'd actually use it."

"What makes you say that?"

"You don't have the yarbles to shoot anyone, Curly." I closed the car door.

As I walked toward the step, I could have swore I heard Curly ask, "What the hell are yarbles?'


Ok. The first things Ponyboy says, the whole fat stinking billygoat thing was takin straight from the book A Clockwork Orange. He quotes it because the scene infront of him, the six gang members about the rape the girl, is identical to Chapter two of A Clockwork Orange when Alex and his droogs run into Billyboy and his. The razor (Britva) is the weapon that Alex has in the beginning of the book, which is why Darry got one for Ponyboy. The ' what's it going to be then, eh?' is said by Alex several times in the first chapter before any action starts, and it said at the beginning of each of the three sections of the book.

Yarbles - balls/testicles

Britva- razor

pooshka -Gun

prestoopnik -Criminals