I have absolutely no idea if I'll continue this. I really want to. Not to be taken seriously. In the slightest.
The Andraste joke will be completely lost on anyone not au fait with British current events circa early 2000s. Sorry.


Aloysius,

I knew giving you that ring was a bad idea.

I thought I made it perfectly clear that this was not going to happen. So please respect my wishes and leave me alone.

M


Dear Morrigan,

Shan't. Listen, I'm not asking much here. I don't know whether I'm developing a paternal instinct or whether I've just mellowed but I want to see my child. I think that's a reasonable request.

Much love,

The Hero of Ferelden


Aloysius,

Five years and you're still signing off your letters that way? How pathetic.

And the answer is still no.

M


Dear insufferable marsh-witch,

It was sarcasm, dear. I think you're well acquainted with the concept.

It's not like I'm asking for joint custody, Morrigan, I'd just like to get acquainted with the little blighter.

If you keep putting me out like this I'll end up like that poor sod who dressed up like Andraste and scaled the palace wall.

Yours sincerely,

Lord Aloysius Cousland, Warden-Commander, Hero of Ferelden, etc.

PS Did you notice my pun? I was quite proud of it.


Aloysius,

You promised me you wouldn't do this. Leave me be, I mean it.

M


Morrigan,

I killed your mother for you, you blasted witch.

Listen, Zev and I have been talking and we'd really love it if you'd join us for Winterval. It would only be a couple of days and then I'd leave you alone, I swear to you. Come on. It'll be fun. Like the old days.

Hugs and kisses,

Aloysius


Aloysius,

The assassin hasn't killed you yet then? Pity.

M


Darling Morrigan,

Obviously not.

Morrigan if you don't come and stay with us for Winterval I will tell Leliana exactly where you are and inform her that you're dying for a makeover.

Ta-ta for now,

Aloysius


Damn you to hell. Well played, Cousland.

Very well. We shall stay for your ridiculous festival and no longer. Then you leave me alone. Agreed?

M


Morrigan,

Agreed.

I look forward to meeting my son.

Yours until the end of time,

Aloysius


Aloysius,

Who said it was a son?

M


Thanks for reading. Do let me know if I should continue.