A/N: This time we have Emmett, I'm not really sure whom to do next, any suggestions?

I don't know what I think about this one, I sort of switch between focuses, but that's why it's rough, right? I like the basic meaning though, I'm sort of tired of seeing Emmett as always being the stupid one. I just wanted him to have a chance to say his part.

Disclaimer: Meyer. Stephenie Meyer. And she'll have Twilight just the way she likes it.

The comedic relief. The big, strong guy who doesn't have any brains. He's all brawn, no brains. He gets himself into hilarious situations and relieves the tension brought on by the more intelligent character's struggles. Comparatively, he's stupid, bumbling, an idiot.

Does he really have a choice in the matter? He doesn't have any other features to flaunt besides his muscles, and it gets old after the first few flexes. He's not suave, the damsel in distress doesn't fall in love with the average Joe, she goes for James Bond. He just can't compare.

So he falls into the only empty slot. The comedic relief.

He cracks jokes, pulls pranks. People laugh, pay attention to him, he's in the spotlight for once.

And then James Bond outshines him. But for a moment, he can be the hero for making people laugh, for taking away all the stress. Maybe, in the end, he's the real hero. But in the end, it's always the Bond that comes out on top; he gets the babe and has a happy ending. Him? He's lucky if people remember his name at the end.

That comedic relief for this story? That's me.

Except this time, I got the babe. Except I was the damsel in distress, I was the one who got saved. I always have that debt to repay, and I don't know how to fill it. Does she even realize how much I owe her? And then the gift of her love, how do I give that back? What sort of hold could I possibly have on her? What if I suddenly fall out of style, just like the pile of rejected clothes in the back of her closet?

So I keep making jokes, keep pulling pranks until it becomes a part of who I am. I have to grab my chances of the spotlight settling on me. But if I were suddenly to give it all up, I'm not sure who I would be. I've erased so much of who I was to be who I am, what's left behind of who I started with?

But I always get outshone by someone, be it Edward or Jasper or Carlisle, the Bonds in this story always steal the spotlight. Maybe they don't mean to, but they do. I just can't compete with them. So I scramble to fill her every wish, ignoring the cons and only accepting the pros, in the vain hope that she'll keep me.

Because there's nothing about me that is extraordinary. I don't have any special talents. I'm not stupid, but I'm no genius. I'm good-looking, but not incredibly handsome. There's just nothing about me to make me a Bond. I only have my brute strength. So I flaunt it, competing against the Bonds in a futile struggle to be like them, to beat them at their own game.

But I always have my jokes, the one thing I have that they don't. The one thing I have that they can't steal. I cling to them like a lifeline, never regretting even one. No matter the outcome, I can't regret my moment in the light.

I want to be the Bond for once. I want to be the hero, and all it seems to be is that I'm the one who's constantly being saved. What do I do? How do you become a hero?

Edward, he saves Bella all the time, he's a poster boy for perfection. He fights his inner demons all the time. Everyone thinks he's amazing because of it.

Jasper, he's smart, a dark past that he tries to accept. He tries so hard not to give in to temptation. Again, amazing because of what he fights.

And Carlisle, he can completely ignore the smell of blood, he saves people every day with his abilities, doing things that modern medicine can't.

But they say laughter is the best medicine, right? Maybe, just maybe, I belong in this role. Maybe I'm meant to be the comedic relief, not because I don't fit anywhere else, but because that's where I really fit. And maybe, I'm a Bond too.

A/N: This one actually got to be a bit longer…

Sorry for the over usage of Bond, I couldn't think of anything better XD

So read. And then review. To review, you must click the little button down there. Go on, click it. You know you want to.

And, I'd like to know who you'd like me to do next. I'm really enjoying doing these. I like picking up on something that others might not think of and letting it sort of take on a life of its own.