Disclaimer:
I don't own Star Wars or any of its related characters or places… I do
own Kosk, Neevik, and Mallor (unfortunately-- They can get rather rowdy at
times!).
Kosk:
::sullenly:: Fuck off.
Discord:
::clears her throat:: Yeah, there's something else. Like you just heard, ::sends a withering glance to Kosk::
Some of my characters tend to use filthy language. But, hey. Who am I to
talk?
Neevik:
Jesus. Tie her up and hide her
somewhere.
Jedi
Chronicles 1: Another Day In Hell
Recorded
by Discord
Obi-Wan Kenobi slid his tray of food over to make
room for the two beings walking to him.
"Joy and elation," growled a Trandoshaan,
smacking his tray down at the table. He
poked the quivering blue Jello square on his tray, and, with a snort, sat down. "No food should be blue. No food should ever be blue. May the Scorekeeper eat it." He glumly began to carve his name, Kosk,
into the shivering mass.
A Rodian plunked down in a spare chair, cocking his
head at Obi-Wan to utter, "Oota goota."
"Hey, Neevik," Obi-Wan responded to the
"what's up".
Neevik shook his head in disgust, forming the
English with ease uncommon to his race, considering their small mouths. "What the hell is this shit? It looks like something a mankas threw
up." Neevik glanced at two other
female students who were trying to disassemble the blue block with the
Force. "Looks like it's good for
one thing only."
Obi-Wan felt a grin form. "That being?"
Neevik suddenly looked devilish, if that was
possible for a Rodian. "Heh… I'll
let you two know when you're done eating."
Kosk glared at him. "Your ideas always get us into trouble."
"Like you even care."
"Unlike you, Rodian, I do feel a compulsion to
be a Jedi."
Obi-Wan waited patiently for them to stop
bickering. Neevik, Kosk, and Obi-Wan
called themselves 'the Terrible Trio', not as a self-insult, but a blunt
name. The Jedi Masters encouraged that
all Padawans get along, but there were always social groups. However, the group he belonged to was,
hands-down, the oddest. Rodians and
Trandoshaans aren't known for their charisma or compassion, and, even though
Neevik and Kosk had renounced their violent cultures, all the Padawans except
Obi-Wan indirectly shunned them.
"Fine, the hell with it," Kosk gave
up. "I'll do it."
"Great!" cried Neevik. "Obi-Wan, gimme your parsley."
Obi-Wan handed it over, and Neevik stuck it in a
Jello cube, then caused it to float through the Force. "I wonder what would happen if a bunch
of these started to float around?" He suggested innocently.
Obi-Wan smiled darkly, his icy eyes flashing with
amusement. "I have a better
idea." He smirked at their
questioning stares. "All we have
to do is start it… Then beat it. And we
won't get in any trouble."
"Works for me," Kosk approved.
"I'm in," Neevik added.
Obi-Wan nodded, then grabbed an extra Jello square
with the Force. He floated it up and
over the heads of the students. When
all eyes were on the blue UFO, snickers breaking out everywhere, he chose his
target. Positioning his blue square
above Anan Kaner, the local big dumb jock, he rubbed some of the molecules
together so it sounded like the Jello was giggling.
The assembled crowd blinked.
Obi-Wan released his telepathic hold on the Jello,
right onto Anan's head.
You could have heard a pin drop.
Of course, that was before every single person
telepathically snatched their Jello and… Well, you can guess.
In the midst of the food fight, Obi-Wan, Kosk, and
Neevik were able to creep out of the cafeteria.
The three sprinted down the hallway, laughing as hard
as humanly (or Trandoshaanly, or Rodianly) possible.
"Stop! Stop!" gasped Neevik,
slowing down. "If I don't stop laughing I'm gonna throw up!"
"Rodian barf. Not something I want to see." Obi-Wan halted, slouching against the wall.
Kosk flicked a bit of Jello out of Obi-Wan's spiky
hair. "Looks like you got
grazed."
"Horrors upon horrors."
"Hey, guys, talk about irony," Neevik sat
against the wall. "In twenty
minutes, we have our Force class on telekinesis. I hear," he continued excitedly, "that some Masters
will be overseeing!"
Obi-Wan and Kosk's eyes lit up. Masters looking over a class usually meant
that Padawan's would be chosen.
"And I also hear--" began Neevik.
Kosk wondered briefly where Neevik heard things.
"I hear that Master Qui-Gon Jinn will be
there."
The light in their eyes became an absolute
gleam. They all jumped up to be early
for class.
¤ ¤ ¤
The latest exercise looked difficult. You had to lift, with the Force, a 200 pound
lead block. At the moment, all the students
lined up for their turn at it. Neevik
stepped up, leaving the next in line being Kosk, then Obi-Wan. Neevik's brow furrowed, and the exercise
began. He closed his eyes.
Obi-Wan felt his stomach turn. So far, all 15 students who had tried had failed
horribly, with absolutely no change to the block. Obi-Wan resisted the urge to glance up at the Jedi Masters lined
up on the viewing balcony above the exercise room.
Qui-Gon Jinn became remotely more interested. The Rodian was trying, then the Trandoshaan. It would be interesting to see how they
would fare in this new difficult exercise.
Sweat popped out on Neevik's forehead, his eyes
screwed shut. He lifted his hand, palm
facing the cube. The block showed no
sign of changing. But then, the far
left corner of the block shuddered, rising off the floor slowly. It hadn't been up for long before Neevik
released his hold on it, his time being up.
A rumble of cheers greeted him as he walked back to
the group, grinning and wiping his forehead.
Kosk decided that aggression was the best way to
go. He stepped up, activating the timer
and immediately pushed both of his palms towards the block. He stared at it, focusing all his attention.
Qui-Gon Jinn had been impressed by the Rodian's
performance. Mace Windu leaned over to
speak to him. "Seen a promising
one yet?"
Qui-Gon glared at him. "You know I'm not taking another Padawan. I'm only here because you made me come. And quite frankly, I'm about ready to walk
out the door."
"Oh look, the Trandoshaan failed." Mace watched Kosk stride off, a look of
vague dejection on his harsh olive features. "Listen, there's just one more, then we can go, okay?"
"Yeah, sure." Qui-Gon waved him away.
Mace grinned and rolled his eyes, turning his
attention back to the students.
Obi-Wan stepped up, activating the timer. He closed his eyes, concentrating.
Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow. He hadn't ever seen such calm on such a young student. He glanced at Mace, noting that the other
man saw and felt it too.
Okay, it's too heavy to lift, gotta make it
lighter. How? Separate the molecules, Obi-Wan decided. Through the Force, he reached out, separating the molecules of the cube,
making it less dense.
It was still pretty fuckin' weighty.
Obi-Wan, concentrating heavily, gestured upward with
his left hand.
The block followed his gesture, raising a full
half-foot off the ground.
Qui-Gon and Mace's eyes bugged.
Obi-Wan knew he'd done it, and, instead of
celebrating, he gave attention to raising the block higher. However, two feet seemed to be his limit,
and the heavy block crashed to the floor. Obi-wan grabbed the timer table for support, feeling absolutely
thrashed.
The teacher stepped out amidst the cheers, smiling
ear to ear. "Well… Homework was
going to be thinking of a way to lift it, but that's scrapped. And Obi-Wan, you've earned a day off."
Even through all his excitement, Obi-Wan noticed
that Master Jinn was gone, along with the other Masters.
¤ ¤ ¤
Qui-Gon strode down the hallway angrily. Mace Windu kept pace with him. "I think we've just found you a new
padawan."
Qui-Gon stopped, facing Mace. "That boy is arrogant, proud, and he will
turn to the Dark Side!"
Mace fixed him with a stern look. "You could tell all this from his
raising of a lead block?"
Qui-Gon glared at him.
"The boy is strong, honest, and good,"
Mace countered.
Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow. "Honest?"
Mace sighed. "So he's pulled a few pranks--"
"Fake eyeballs, fake barf, ants in the dorms,
that worm incident--"
Mace
spread his arms. "He has a
colorful sense of humor!"
"Too
colorful." Qui-Gon sighed. "You know I won't take another
padawan."
Mace's face softened, and he dropped a hand onto his
shoulder. "You must get over the
boy. You must move on."
Qui-Gon glanced at him, then down at the floor.
¤ ¤ ¤
Kosk and Neevik, both with an arm around Obi-Wan's
shoulders, supporting the exhausted human, helped the boy back to their dorm.
Obi-Wan managed to murmur a "thanks" right
before sacking out on the couch.
Neevik and Kosk blinked at the speed that he was
able to fall asleep at.
"Humans," Kosk offered as an explanation.
They looked at each other and shrugged, each feeling
frustratingly clueless.
¤ ¤ ¤
Obi-Wan woke up to the usual din of squawking
guitars and the heavy beat of drums.
If there was one thing that the three friends agreed
on, it was taste in music; Static, Photon Blast, and Ridge being only
three. However, his favorite disc was
playing as today's alarm clock. Obi-Wan
had gone searching the music stores for something good (and cheap). He came out with something older then
Yoda: Disturbed. The three, through great trials and weeks of
sucking up, managed to copy all the songs onto a usable disc, saving the
original CD to see if it was worth anything.
A heavy guitar riff wafted out from the
speakers. Obi-Wan knuckled his
eyes. He stretched a bit, then got up.
¤ ¤ ¤
A dark figure cast a gaze over the small security
camera monitor it carried. Good! The boy was waking up.
It clenched its teeth. Raising that block should have been impossible for a young one
like Obi-Wan Kenobi to manage.
A smirk flitted across the mouth of the figure. Yes. Such a powerful student would attract the attention of the Council.
The figure replaced the small monitor somewhere in
the folds of a billowing black cloak. Several thoughts were forming, a certain few being particularly
disturbing.
Finally, we will be able to get our point
across.
We have not faded into the growing Light.
We are here.
¤ ¤ ¤
Obi-Wan wandered about in the Temple gardens on his
day off. The scent of the fruits,
flowers, and grass helped him calm down.
He was uneasy.
There was something very wrong.
And the most frustrating thing was the fact that he
couldn't pinpoint the source. It was…
The truth was, he couldn't pinpoint it because he didn't have the faintest
glimmer of an idea what it was. It was
human, and male. But it used the Force,
and it had some Light and some Dark side in it. But that was about it.
Oh, yeah. One more thing.
It was following him.
Obi-Wan ground his teeth. The meditating dome, he decided. The 'dome' was a wire structure that was completely coated in vines,
making the walls seem solid. The vines
had been grown with the influence of the Light Side, so a Darksider couldn't
stand to go near it.
Obi-Wan stooped slightly to enter dome. He glanced over his shoulder, relieved to
see that nothing sprouting horns and screaming was leaping for his back.
¤ ¤ ¤
Hmph. Sharp
kid.
Not sharp enough to save his butt, the cloaked figure
observed.
The figure sat cross-legged outside the dome,
concentrating.
¤ ¤ ¤
Obi-Wan, turning around, almost tripped over himself
when he saw another figure in the dome with him. He relaxed when he saw it was Qui-Gon Jinn, who was looking at
him speculatively.
"Playing a game?" Qui-Gon asked suddenly.
"Pardon, sir?"
"You look like you're hiding from
something."
"Well, sir… I am."
"Oh?" Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow. "What from?"
Obi-Wan wrung his hands, fiddling with a blade of
grass. "I'm not sure, all I know
is it's following me and it doesn't want to give me a medal."
All humor gone now, Qui-Gon stared at Obi-Wan. "This'd better not be a prank."
"It's not, I swear it."
Qui-Gon turned on his heel, peering out of the viney
dome. He turned slowly, looking for a
figure that didn't belong. Nothing,
nothing, nothing… Wait, what was that?
A man in a black cloak stood to a full 6 feet. His only visible features were a flash of
black eyes.
Qui-Gon reached out with the Force, probing at the
man.
He glanced at Obi-Wan. "You pick up the worst enemies possible, don't you?"
Obi-Wan looked up at him, eyes wide. "What is it?"
"A Shadowsider."
Oh. My. God.
"I don't know why he's after me!" Obi-Wan insisted.
Before any more words could be exchanged, pain
plunged into Obi-Wan's skull, filling every crease and crevice of his
head. He cried out, grabbing his head,
and fell to his knees.
Before Qui-Gon could even blink, the man came
tearing through the leaves of the dome. He held out a palm at the shocked Jedi Master and sent him flying back
through the wall.
The man wrapped a hand around Obi-Wan's neck,
lifting him off the ground. Obi-Wan
grasped at the hand, but didn't have time to get a grip before the Shadowsider
threw him, headfirst, into the ground. Everything swam into a blur, then it was all black.
Qui-Gon staggered to his feet just in time to see
the dark form dash the boy onto the ground. Obi-Wan slumped onto the packed dirt ground, quite unconscious.
Qui-Gon's stomach tightened. A confused thought danced in his mind.
Why do I care about the boy on such a personal
level?
The thought had barely formed before the man in
black glared at Qui-Gon, and a jagged pain erupted in his head. Qui-Gon fell to his knees, clutching his
head.
The Shadowsider smirked, then walked to Obi-Wan, who
was still a crumpled heap on the ground. The man slid his arms under the boy's back and knees, lifting him in his
arms with an aggravating intimacy. However, the gentle handling didn't seem to be a good omen for the
future.
Qui-Gon, now on his hands and knees, glanced
up. Through a red haze of pain, he saw
the man carry Kenobi away from the destroyed dome.
Away from him.
Qui-Gon's arms gave out, and he slouched against the
ground.
¤ ¤ ¤
"Sonovvabitch!!" Qui-Gon shot up into a sitting position in the sterile, white
bed. A shadow flickered across his
face.
The Shadow Side. Almost a fairy tale, Shadowsiders were the most dangerous of all, being
part Light and part Dark.
The traditional belief was that the Force was evenly
split in two, Light and Dark. However,
not all Force-sensitive chose to believe that there was such a stark line
between the two. They operate in the
area in which Light and Dark overlap. This enables them to use both Light and Dark side powers.
Mace Windu striding into the room interrupted
Qui-Gon's thinking. He sat on the edge
of the bed, his face wrinkled with concern. "Qui-Gon? What--
Who--"
"A Shadowsider is on Temple grounds."
Mace stiffened.
"And he has Obi-Wan Kenobi."
Mace leaned his head into his folded hands, his
elbows on his knees. "Any ideas on
what it wanted?"
"As far as I can tell, attention."
"Oh, it's got plenty of that."
¤ ¤ ¤
Obi-Wan woke slowly, his body feeling--
He blinked. Well… He expected it to feel like shit, but he felt fine, oddly
enough. He fidgeted with his hands,
which were tied behind his back.
"I see you're awake."
Obi-Wan froze, scanning the darkened room for the
source of the voice.
A well-placed kick to his ribs brought his head
down, curling into a ball, gasping.
"What's the matter, boy?" The voice was filled with venom and
acid. "Can you not see in front of
your own eyes?"
Obi-Wan glared at the figure that seemed to have
materialized in front of him.
The figure stared piercingly down at him. "Sit up," he commanded. Obi-Wan did so, a bit shakily, and the man
sat down across from him. Unexpectedly,
a smile broke on his face.
"My name is Mallor Kinatai. And you are?" He held out his hand expectantly, as thought Obi-Wan's hands were
not bound. His smile became a smirk.
Obi-Wan spat right onto his face then followed up
with a tackle. "You know what, you
bastard?" He screamed. "YOU ARE A FUCKNUT! Screw you!" He punctuated the speech with a kick to Mallor's jaw.
All of a sudden, Obi-Wan found himself flying
through the air. He blinked. Then he found himself flying into a wall.
Ow…
His vision swam for a moment, but came back into
focus as Mallor stalked up to him, his face a mask of fury. "Good aim. However, you will regret that."
Mallor pinned him to the wall with one hand and
reared back with his other fist.
Obi-Wan closed his eyes, swallowing.
¤ ¤ ¤
"He's what?" Neevik's mouth hung open.
There was a murderous twinkle in Kosk's eyes. "He's been captured by a Shadow Side
user."
"God DAMMIT! Dumbass!" Kosk waited for
Neevik to stop raging before handing him a holodisc. "What's this?"
"Don't watch it if you're feeling
destructive," Kosk warned.
"When do I not feel destructive?" Neevik thumbed the disc.
A fuzzy image of Obi-Wan is what appeared. His
entire body was bruised, but his visage was a stubborn one that Neevik and Kosk
knew well. "Numbnuts here wants me
to make demands for him," he reported. He winced as though his head suddenly hurt. "Well, he wants a fuckin' big starship, a shitload of
credits, a lightsaber, and a life." He closed his eyes, groaning through his teeth. He opened his eyes through his pain. "And I could use a band-aid."
The holodisc image fuzzed out.
Neevik threw it against the wall with enough force
to shatter it. "What the
hell?? If that asshole lays a single
fucking finger on Obi-Wan, I'm gonna take that Shadow Side of his, wad it up
into a tiny, little ball, and shove it UP HIS ASS!"
Kosk cracked his knuckles. "That was pretty much my reaction, only it was, ah, edited
because Master Windu gave me the news. What do you say? Scream our
favorite word right now?"
Neevik nodded, then threw his head back with
Kosk. In unison, they yelled
"FFFUUUCCCKKK!!!!!"
¤ ¤ ¤
Obi-Wan woke slowly, his whole body feeling as
though it was a pincushion. The pain in
his head was lesser, so he assumed that Mallor was asleep.
Stifling a moan, he climbed to his feet, ignoring
the daggering pain.
Turning backwards, he twisted the doorknob, which he
had unlocked earlier. The click and
muffled shriek of hinges sounded galactley loud to Obi-Wan.
¤ ¤ ¤
Mallor woke quickly, sitting up. If the Temple had obeyed his demands, then
he should have been halfway to Correlia by now.
Oh, well. Only one thing left to do.
Since he couldn't get what he wanted, he would have
to leave with a bang.
He flipped a holodisc to "RECORD" and made
his message. He wafted it up through
the vents, settling it in Qui-Gon's room.
"Time to check on the kid," he muttered.
¤ ¤ ¤
Obi-Wan had one foot left in the chamber where he
had been held prisoner.
Then Mallor walked in.
He didn't even pause as he walked out the door, he
just telepathically grabbed Obi-Wan as he walked. He stopped in front of the big kitchen freezer.
¤ ¤ ¤
Damn, it's cold.
Obi-Wan rotated his shoulders, pacing about in the
freezer. I'm not gonna last another
hour, he realized.
He heaved a sigh and continued pacing.
¤ ¤ ¤
Qui-Gon's eyes fluttered open. He looked about, scanning the impeccably
neat room. Something seemed out of
place. In a moment, he spotted it: a yellowish holodisc by the ventilation shaft. Qui-Gon got up and retrieved it,
curious. He thumbed the button,
freezing when he heard the message it contained.
He hesitated for less than half a moment before
dashing to find Yoda.
¤ ¤ ¤
"More dangerous then we expected the
Shadowsider is," Yoda observed calmly.
Qui-Gon hit the "PLAY" button again. A voice without an image trickled from the
holodisc. "In light of my
knowledge that you have not, and will not, concede to my demands, I have left
the Temple." There was a smirk
evident in the tone of his voice. "I've put the boy into safekeeping… I'm afraid the only thing I
could find was a freezer." It was
obvious from his glee that he knew that there were 83 freezers in the
Temple. "I wish you luck in
finding him!" The voice fuzzed
out.
Qui-Gon squared his shoulders and glanced at Yoda.
Yoda looked up, the faintest hint of anger on his
normally serene features. "Found
young Kenobi must be. A party to find
him you will make?"
"Yes." Qui-Gon nodded slowly.
¤ ¤ ¤
Obi-Wan sat against the wall of the freezer with his
head hanging down limply. His ragged
breath flowered around his face, his body shaking. His muscles seemed frozen, and pain sliced at them whenever he
tried to move. His breath, cold sweat,
and any general moisture had crystallized on his skin, hair, and robes,
creating a bluish, otherworldly shimmer.
¤ ¤ ¤
Qui-Gon was running his team tirelessly, although
the party didn't feel quite as energetic as he did.
"Sir!" A young female human, Dyanai, halted in front of him, panting slightly.
Qui-Gon raised his head in affirmation of the
hailing as she continued, her tone cautious. "According to my calculations… Obi-Wan Kenobi is either dead, or
will be in less than 10 minutes."
Qui-Gon nodded his head in acknowledgement before
ordering, with just the slightest hesitation, "Keep searching." He fell to the back of the group to ponder the
wisdom of his latest idea.
A connection. A mental connection. That way,
Qui-Gon would be able to pinpoint the boy's location.
However, it would result in mixed feelings, and
probably a new padawan.
But it's obvious that the boy will grow up to be massively
powerful.
Hell. Why
judge all training Jedi by one gone wrong?
Qui-Gon halted the team, explained his plan, and
began to concentrate.
¤ ¤ ¤
Obi-Wan's eyes fluttered closed, his head slumping
onto his chest.
A tentative touch on his mind brought him back
alert. Sort of. Well, as alert as you could be in a
freezer. What is that?
Obi-Wan? Qui-Gon
Jinn's thoughts floated into his mind.
Sir? The youth 'sounded' so flabbergasted that Qui-Gon
almost laughed out loud.
Obi-Wan? Where are you?
Well… I--I-- Obi-Wan sent him a mental image of his location.
Qui-Gon took off, sprinting down the halls to where
Obi-Wan indicated.
Even as he ran, he felt a coldness seeping into his
mind. The new connection he had with
the boy softened and started unraveling. He felt Obi-Wan's consciousness flicker.
No! Stay
awake!
I--I'm trying…
Even through all his efforts, right as Qui-Gon
opened the door, his body went limp as he blacked out. The shaky rise and fall of his chest stopped
altogether.
"No!" Qui-Gon knelt by the frozen bundle on the floor. He pushed down his panic and desperately
laid a hand on Obi-Wan's forehead.
There was a tense moment when nothing happened. Then Obi-Wan inhaled sharply, his eyes
snapping open.
Qui-Gon released a breath he didn't know he'd been
holding. He gathered the boy in his
arms, carrying the weakened apprentice down the halls.
Qui-Gon Jinn smiled down at his new Padawan. "And how was your day?"
Obi-Wan Kenobi grinned back at his new Master. "Oh, just another day in hell."
