Analysis of the Life Spark
Summary: There are times Fou can understand the humans and times where their habits are beyond her. Why can't they all have purpose like her? Why do they find joy with their mates and offspring?
Since her creation, Fou had seen plenty of infants born to her master's family, each one the same as the last. Pale when sleeping, red when screaming, chubby and helpless, and smelling of old cabbage. Fou didn't like cabbage in the slightest anymore than she liked babies. But as she was compelled to remain in Asia, she was compelled to watch over the descendants of her creator, from birth to death.
Personally, she wished humans could just skip the whole infancy, toddler, preteen, and adolescent business they all had a habit for. Adults were rational. They could take care of themselves. They made decisions based on facts and logic, not on the selfish whims of children.
Fou's succession of masters were no exception, but when she heard the current head of the Asian Branch was expecting a baby, her initial thought was, "God, not again."
Instead of throwing herself enthusiastically into the celebration with the other Asian Branch residents, she watched sullenly from the sidelines and thought of what frivolous and wasteful creatures the humans were. They required so much more maintenance then she did.
When she was low on power, she slept, just like humans. But aside from sleep, humans needed to eat and what they ate took hours to process, soaking up the nutrients before disposing of the waste. (She was infinitely grateful to whoever had come up with the idea of indoor plumbing. She'd hated being woken in the middle of the night because some idiot couldn't get through her barrier seal.) Humans needed to sleep for an average of eight hours and generally became very cranky if the amount of sleep was insufficient. If they ate the wrong thing, they could get sick or even die. They did find joy and happiness in things she could understand, like accomplishment and pride, but then there were things strange to her. Almost every human she'd met found happiness with a mate, breeding, and raising their offspring.
Fou clicked her tongue and crossed her arms. She was just a homunculus, a grunt to carry out the wishes of the Chans. She didn't understand love.
"That's a pretty fierce scowl, Fou."
She turned to face her master. She'd sensed him approaching her, though she'd expected him to walk right on by without acknowledging her. What a fool she was to think that. Edgar never passed her, even when he was tipsy. "Enjoying the party?" She asked to be courteous. It was his father who had taught her manners and etiquette.
He bobbed his head in a nod, a happy but foolish smile on his face. "Of course. Are you?"
Fou didn't answer, resting one of her elbows on the railing and cupping her chin in her paw. She was standing on the second level of the Asian Branch's Great Hall, a point high enough where she could observe the proceedings without interruption. Or so she'd thought.
"Don't tell me you're bored, Fou." Edgar exclaimed, coming to stand next to her, resting both elbows on the railing. He leaned forward to look at her face, but she turned away. "You are, aren't you." He sighed.
So is your wife. Fou was tempted to say, having spotted Twi Chan seated at the edge of the hall, surrounded by her colleagues who were laughing and talking inaudibly. The black-haired woman seemed to be answering pleasantly enough, but Fou could tell she'd rather be occupying herself with her latest project. She should know; she knew and understood her wards better than anyone else in the Order. Fou had watched Twi move through the messy infancy-to-adulthood affair as well, just like her father before her.
And now she was having her own. Fou wrinkled her nose in distaste. She didn't understand love like the humans did. And she didn't like babies.
"Why don't you join in instead of sulking up here?" Edgar suggested. "You just might enjoy yourself."
Fou pulled away from the railing and made her way to the rock wall behind them. "I think not. I'm tired, so I shall sleep."
"Fou, wait—" Edgar called after her, but she was gone.
Immersed in the complex matrix of the Asian Branch, Fou descended into her favorite setting: a nice, quiet dojo where she could set a futon on the tatami mat, curl up, and recharge. But she didn't need power now. Instead, Fou paced back and forth across the mat, moving from the plain fusuma doors to the circle windows out of which she could see nothing. An endless white expanded beyond this world.
The Asia matrix was her sandbox; she could create whatever she wanted. It was fun at first, but the novelty of being a goddess in this place had worn off decades ago. She only kept a few things she liked, changing details here and there when she grew bored.
She changed her appearance every ten years or so, alternating her color scheme. Black was the theme now. Black and silver clothes with dark blue hair and eyes. It was a nice, subtle look. The decade was almost over; maybe she should try something new. Purple, perhaps. She liked purple.
Fou sighed and looked at the windows, frowned, then adjusted the setting so sunlight streamed in. Her eyes closed and she concentrated on the matrix. Let the humans have their fun, she had all she could ever want right here. As long as she had purpose, she was happy.
She was happy.
-0-0-0-
In the months to come, Fou found what went on outside less and less interesting. She checked and double-checked the entrances to the Branch, even the surrounding perimeter, expanding it until it included all the nearby towns. Within the Branch, the researchers, even Twi, despite her condition, went about their daily activities without hitch.
Every now and then, an exorcist would stop by, either for rest or medical treatment. Most of the time, she found the accommodators to be an agreeable lot; they had purpose, something to focus their attention. Fou was particularly fond of one named Cleto, but she hadn't seen or heard from him in some time. Cleto was a determined young man, but not so much he wasn't polite. Fou smirked when she thought of him. Maybe a talk with Cleto was what she needed. He was human despite the parasitic-Innocence imbedded in his arms. He could help her understand things she found incomprehensible.
But Cleto wasn't around, so she had to make do without.
In the end, Fou resigned herself to staying out of the way and observing. Edgar went about his day as he normally did, albeit a bit more carefree than usual. At least someone's happy about the new kid. Fou thought bitterly. As the months passed, Twi only seemed to be becoming more irritable, plagued by mood swings, exhaustion, and morning sickness. She never complained about it; she only cussed under her breath when she found difficulty going about her affairs.
And yet, they continue to reproduce. Fou thought as she crossed into the Asian Branch's library. Unbelievable.
The library was quiet, therefore peaceful. She crossed her arms behind her head as she wandered deeper into the rows of shelves. Once, someone—most likely on a long dead exorcist—had told her Asia's library was much bigger than Europe's. She'd never been there, of course, but she'd taken his word for it. Their library was magnificent; surely there was no larger one in the Order.
Fou stopped to check the matrix and found two people nearby. Exorcists judging from the significant feeling of accommodated Innocence. She strained her ears. There they were, two aisles over, talking in hushed tones. Fou turned to pass through the shelves, hoping one of them was Cleto. But no. She hadn't seen these two before. In disappointment, she shouted, "Hey! No talking in the library!"
Both exorcists jumped in surprise, the woman tripping backward over the multitude of books on the floor. The man turned to see what had become of her, then looked back at Fou. They both simultaneously brought a finger to their lips and hissed, "Shh! This is a library."
In a flash, Fou realized just how stupid her joke was and apologized, stepping humiliated out from the shelves. "I hope you're going to clean that mess up. The librarian hates cleaning up after people."
"We would've done so." The man knelt, picking up the katana that had fallen to the floor and propping it against the shelves. The woman behind him nodded adamantly as he added. "I thought you'd come to chew us out for bringing weapons here." The woman nodded again, not unlike a puppet.
"You're exorcists, aren't you?" Fou asked sullenly. "You should bring your Innocence wherever you go, as long as you don't spontaneously start fighting and wreck things."
The woman had risen to her feet and was lifting up her spear, resting the shaft on her shoulder. She was a rather pretty thing, clear eyes, copper-blond hair held out of her face by a bright red headband and a matching scarf in her ponytail. Her build was frighteningly thin, but that easily could've been the corset Fou suspected she was wearing. (Corsets seemed to be the latest trend among the female apostles.)
The man was a taller fellow with pale, white skin and long, black hair tied in a high side ponytail. Fou noted he had a few feathers stuck in there, mostly the plumage of owls, eagles, falcons, and other birds of prey. He wore the standard uniform the male apostles were wearing nowadays, although the hem was longer than most and reached his ankles. (Highly ill suited for agility and speed, she thought.)
She frowned as the woman suddenly set her weapon against the shelves, came forward, and leaped onto her comrade's back for a piggyback ride, peering at Fou over his shoulder. "Hey, does she seem a little bit upset?"
The man nodded thoughtfully. "You're right. She does look a might displeased."
Fou twitched irritably and turned to leave. If they were going to talk about her as though she weren't there, she had no business with them.
"Hey, don't go!" The man called after her. Fou stopped and turned around.
"Dearest, this is a library." The woman hissed.
"Whoops." The man clapped a hand to his mouth while the other beckoned Fou to come closer. "Please, come back, Madam Guardian. Why don't you tell us what the dour matter is? We're plenty good at working out a muddle."
"Working out a muddle." The woman agreed, nodding enthusiastically.
Fou looked them over skeptically, having the sudden urge to let them know her problem with the entire, infuriating human race in general. It might get them to leave her alone if she was angry enough. But she stayed stubbornly quiet. She didn't know these exorcists. They weren't Cleto, so how would they understand her? She called him 'dearest'. Fou observed. That meant they were either lovers or husband and wife. She sniffed.
She didn't understand love. It was too fleeting of an emotion. Human lives were too short to meddle with it. She didn't understand why they didn't focus their lives on their work, especially when they usually lived to be only sixty or seventy.
"Are you two married?" She asked suddenly.
"Not yet." The man said, holding up his left hand, knuckles facing Fou.
"Not yet." The woman repeated, doing the same. Both of them had an engagement ring.
"I see." Fou nodded, wishing they would stop repeating what the other said. It was making her head hurt. "And you love each other, right?"
"Of course." They said in unison. The woman reached up to bat playfully at the man's ponytail. His hand went to the one she had clinging to his shoulders. He smiled invitingly. "Why don't you sit with us and confide your worries? You can tell us anything."
"Anything!" The woman repeated with a beaming smile.
"We'll never tell another soul."
"Not another soul!"
Fou looked them over, searching their grinning faces for ulterior motive. But she could sense no deceit behind their bright smiles for there was no façade, no masks. Fou tilted her head in bewilderment, wondering if she'd found one of those rare people with pure hearts and selfless desire to help others. People like that were hard to come by, especially among people as scarce as exorcists.
Well, they're certainly something. Fou thought as she sat down, crossing her legs. The two exorcists did the same, dropping to their knees and planting the palms of their hands on the floor. "Well ,then, I have a question for you two as humans. Why bother with love?" They tipped their heads in unison, even blinking in sync. Fou shifted uncomfortably. "You humans have such short life spans, much shorter than mine. So why is it creatures like you waste time with meaningless emotion?"
The two exorcists turned to each other. "What do you think, dear?"
"I think she has a fine point, my love." The man cupped his chin in his hand, nodding sagely. "Madam Guardian thinks we don't live long enough even for our true purpose. Falling in love is just a waste of time and a distraction. How very captivating."
"Mm-hm." The woman nodded. "So how should we answer her?"
"I know not." He declared, rising to his feet. "For people like us, love is a natural feeling which ought to be cherished by all, but it's not the case with Madam Guardian. It's like the very first exorcist Morgan de Grayman once said," He swung around theatrically. "There are a few good friends on the other side we've all been meaning to join. Now's as good a day as any. We live, we fight, we die, and then the world forgets us. We, God's soldiers, live lives in shadow. So have mercy on the mortal angels, bringers of both destruction and salvation."
"Mortal angels!" The woman pumped a fist into the air.
Naturally, Fou was starting to doubt the credit of these two. She had lived during the time of Exorcist de Grayman and had been present when he said those words to his followers, but she wasn't entirely sure of the point these two current exorcists were driving at. What did it have to do with what she'd asked? That speech had been given before a battle, for goodness sake. Are they insane? They certainly wouldn't be the first exorcists she'd met who cracked under the pressure of the demon war. "Um…I don't see how that answers my question. Why do you love?"
"Because we must!" They both cried. The woman clasped her hands. "To love someone so much you would do anything for them disregards any purpose in life."
"Then, why the speech—!"
"At the same time, it fuels it!" The man added, leaning forward. "Making it grow stronger and stronger until it can't be stopped!"
The woman gripped his hand in hers. "Knowing we have each other, Madam Guardian, gives us purpose. Just like our Innocence. If we love each other, our purpose is to protect each other. Just like you protect the Asian Branch."
"Surely you love the people inside." The man pointed out, raising his arms in gesture to their surroundings.
Fou didn't answer. She was fond of her masters, true, but love them? Did she 'love' the people she guarded. Was that painful ache in her chest when her creator died sadness? Was she sad because she loved him? But how could she love? She was a homunculus, incapable of feeling.
"How old are you, Madam Guardian?" asked the man suddenly, lowering his arms.
Again, Fou was taken aback. "In the eighties?" She'd lost count actually.
"And how long are you expected to live?"
She shrugged. As long as she wasn't killed and the Chans lived on, she supposed forever.
The man sat down again. "So that's why, my lovely! She's still a kid!"
"Do you really think that's it, darling?" The woman seemed astounded.
Fou was outraged. How dare they call her a child? Compared to her, these two would be dead long before she ever took the plunge. She was older than them by far!
"Of course!" The man nodded. "By her standards of life span, she's not even middle aged. She must be a toddler. No, an infant! She herself hasn't had much time to consider love as we do. Remember when we were kids?"
"Oh, right!" The woman cried, bringing a fist down into her other hand. "Kids always think love is silly!"
Fou blinked in surprise. "They do?" Human children thought the same way she did?
They nodded. "You have some growing up to do, Madame Guardian. And you need to find yourself someone special to love and protect." They crossed their index fingers over their chests and said in unison, "With all your heart!"
As she left the two of them to clean up the mess, Fou concluded they were the oddest pair she'd ever met.
-0-0-0-
As the months dragged on and drifted into November, Fou found her restlessness easing a little, as it always did during the autumn and winter months at the end of the year. September through December was a time to relax in her opinion, to slow down and sort out priorities before starting the new year.
1823. Fou mused. All the Branches of the Order threw a New Year's party, but none were so extravagant as Asia's. Here in China, New Years was a national holiday, the most important of the year. She smiled, thinking of what an intriguing notion it was for the humans to have an animal represent each year and how each person born under a sign would have a personality according to that sign.
It was the Horse right now. Sheep in a couple months. Also the ten year marker, Fou considered, thinking of what to do about her appearance: change or leave as is? Seriously, purple sounded like a solid deal.
Fou had seated herself on a railing in one of the hallways, watching people rush by with pieces of rolled up paper, toolboxes, books, files, plants in flowerpots, lizards in jars, laundry in baskets, dishes, and other odds and ends. As they passed by, Fou found herself greeting them politely, much to their surprise. Normally, she kept to herself and snapped at people who spoke to her without cause. Instead of yelling at a fallen scientist for her clumsiness, she stooped to helping her scrape together the files she'd dropped all over the floor.
"Lin Ru!" Called an exasperated voice.
Fou looked up, recognizing her current mistress approaching them. The scientist who'd dropped the papers flinched and answered in a scared voice, "I'm sorry, ma'am! I'll pick them up right away."
Twi shook her head furiously. Fou looked her mistress up and down, taking in her swollen belly and the intimidating glare crossing her features. Clearly, this wasn't the first time Lin Ru had messed up, and Fou knew her mistress well enough to know she did not tolerate error. Lin Ru certainly looked the type to screw up a lot, a rather thin, mousy-looking woman with brownish-black hair and a large pair of glasses hanging askew on her nose.
"It won't happen again."
"That is what you say every time, but what will happen when you cause a serious accident?" Twi demanded fiercely. "One of these days, you could raise a crisis that threatens the existence of the Asian Branch. You are a hazard, Lin Ru, to yourself and to your fellow scientists. I suggest—" She broke off suddenly, which surprised Fou greatly. Nothing could stop her mistress in the middle of a tirade. Unless… Twi went pale and awkwardly shuffled to the side of the hallway to lean against the railing. "Oh, for the love of God."
Lin Ru leapt to her feet, glad to be out of the line of fire, and darted off. "Don't worry, ma'am! I'll be right back!"
Twi grit her teeth, sagging to her knees and snarling almost angrily when Fou put a comforting paw on her back. "Don't touch me!"
Fou backed off, at a loss of what to do. Even as a child, Twi had never run to her for comfort or support; she was a strong woman. But Fou couldn't ignore the pain she was in right now. She swallowed hard. Weren't human women supposed to do some breathing exercise for this or something? A special way of breathing? Ridiculous. In, out, in, out, inhale, exhale, right? "Just breathe, mistress." Fou advised calmly.
Twi didn't answer, hands gripping the railing until her knuckles were white.
A shout from down the hallway (as well as a shift in the matrix) told Fou that Lin Ru had returned with the help she'd promised.
-0-0-0-
Fou waited in the hallway outside the Infirmary, seated a distance from the other people who'd accumulated outside one of the infirmary's delivery rooms once they'd heard the news. With her legs crossed, she scrutinized those waiting. Almost all of them were male, one of whom was Edgar as expected. Other prominent figures were present, such as Twi's uncle Zu Mei Chan, Edgar's cousin who was visiting from the North American Branch, and Sammo Han Wong, a long time friend of the family. No one said a word, all staring at nothing with hard, distant eyes.
She didn't see why they were all so worried. The Chan family specialized in biological study, so the Asian Branch had the best medical facility in the Order. As far as she could tell, her mistress was in good hands, no need to be concerned. Fou winced, sensing her pain again. The effects were diluted across their separate consciousnesses, of course, but if she imagined her discomfort on an amplified scale she still had an idea of the intense agony. This wasn't the first time she'd been present for the birth of a baby, although she'd always waited in the hallway while everyone else chewed their nails and twiddled their thumbs and generally made her glad she didn't have hands to speak of.
The first birth she'd witnessed had been Twi's father and his twin brother, respectively Yu Min and Li. She remembered the two of them all right, trouble as infants, demonic as toddlers, (at that point, the third and fourth brothers, Hei and Zu Mei, entered the picture) uncontrollable as preteens, clever as adolescents, before finally (she'd breathed a long sigh of relief at this point) responsible as adults. They'd had a saying, too. 'When you're against the two of us, you're in trouble, but when all four of us are involved, then you'd better run. Actually, don't even rung; we'll catch you.' She'd always hated their antics.
Edgar's lineage was, thankfully, not so strong-willed, being a much more easy-going branch of the Chans. Fou could scarcely remember a time where a single one of them raised their voice in anger.
She pursed her lips sympathetically. Edgar looked so worried right now. He adored Twi in spite of her cold, stoic behavior, but what Fou found admirable was he did so without obligation, even though it was a marriage arranged before either of them were even born. To lose Twi…well, Fou didn't want to think about what would happen. She didn't really want to lose her mistress either.
Startled, Fou put a paw to her chest. Was that apprehension she was feeling? Because she 'loved' these people she'd watched over since the beginning? Am I capable of feeling love? Just like the humans? Even though she was merely a guardian? Did she always have these complex feelings? Or did her creator fashion her with a simple mind, one with only two fierce notions: Obey the Chans and protect the Chans. Had he anticipated she would grow to have sentiments? Or did he assume she would always be aloof and impassive?
Edgar released a long, controlled sigh and dropped his head in his hands, threading his fingers through his blond hair. Down the hall, his cousin pulled a box of cigarettes from his pocket only to have them confiscated by Zu who fixed him with a stern look. Everyone in the Asian Branch knew Twi disapproved of smoking. Edgar's cousin raised an eyebrow but turned away without protest. In the middle of the hall, Wong had begun pacing, an action that made Fou nervous (unless she was the one pacing).
But through all of this, Edgar never moved even once. He sat on the floor with his back to the wall and his head in his hands, unaware of everything outside his thoughts. Every now and then, his fingers clenched in his hair and tugged at the roots, as if to reassure himself he was still awake.
Fou sighed and rose to her feet. She hadn't really talked to him very much since the night of the party. He was so carefree back then, too. So different from this apprehensive scientist. Very slowly, she crossed down the hallway until she was at his side. He looked up in surprise, feeling her paw on his shoulder. Without so much as a greeting nod, Fou leaned against the wall and slid to the floor beside him, putting her arm down and resting her head against him. Edgar smiled weakly.
She couldn't remember exactly how long this whole thing was supposed to last, only that it took a dreadfully long time for an infant to enter the world. It was a also a very sloppy, bloody business from what Fou had heard. Why do they go through with this?
Artificial birth was so much cleaner and calmer. No blood, no screaming mother, just water and warmth before emerging into the world. Fou was the variety of homunculus that didn't age. Plenty of her master's other creations did, however. There were more homunculi within the Order than even the Central Administration knew of, most of them prototypes for bigger and more important projects. People on the outside called human life a miracle, but for their labs, all it took to create a human was a handful of cheap elements and the spark of life.
Fou widened her eyes a fraction. A human could be created just fine, but was it loved like a newborn? She blinked and thought back to the day her life had begun. The day she emerged from the water in her true form and was greeted by the proud Martin family's head sorcerer, whom she later called Master Faustus. Had her creator loved her? Was she his daughter just as much as his four sons? Like Twi and Edgar and the others, was she herself related to the German mage?
Or were only those who had a natural birth loved by their parents? Was it only a mother who carried her baby for nine months and the father who watched over her who loved their baby? Did humans only love a human born to them, not created. Born was the way nature intended. Fou looked up at the ceiling. A trace of pain, definitely Twi's, rolled over her consciousness. Is that why humans love their kin? But how about adoption? Do humans love children they take in? "Ooh!" She cried out and put her head in her paws in frustration, startling Edgar. It was all so confusing!
She froze as Edgar's hand came up to rest across her shoulders and his head tilted against hers. "I'm sure she'll be just fine, Fou."
She smiled but didn't bother to correct him.
So they waited.
At some point, Wong stopped pacing and stood stock still in such a way Fou wondered if he'd fallen asleep standing up. She'd heard horses did that, but humans were another story. Edgar's cousin left briefly at some point, mumbling about the call of nature. No one else said a word, an uncomfortable silence descending in the hallway. Nothing could be heard from inside the delivery room, nor did Fou try to, respecting her mistress' privacy too much, save for the involuntary flashes of pain she was picking up.
Fou closed her eyes and tried to ignore the familiar feeling of helplessness. Her duty was to protect this family, but there was nothing she could do but wait. It unsettled her. Surely this had gone on long enough. This kid wanted to be born; why was it taking so long?
Edgar wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Fou—"
Suddenly, the door opened with a 'BANG', startling everyone in the hallway. Edgar rose to his feet in alarm as a woman fell into sight on her hands and knees. "Blood…" She said weakly, staring unblinking at the floor. "All that blood."
Fou held her breath and reached out for her mistress' consciousness. Was she dead?
Then the face of the Branch's Head Matron, a scary and rather short, old woman with frizzy, graying hair, shook her head as she came into view. "You call yourself a nurse? You sicken me." She remarked to the nurse on the floor, then turned to the rest of them, focusing on Edgar. "You may enter."
Edgar said nothing, circling the matron who turned to watch him go with a smile. Then she turned to look up at the others. "It's a boy."
Edgar's cousin gave a bark of triumphant laughter, punching a fist in the air. Wong was breathing a sigh of relief while Zu had opened the grimoire he'd been carrying and read quickly and silently under his breath, flipping pages faster than normal. Meanwhile, the Head Matron was helping the fallen nurse to her feet and beckoning for the other nurse to leave the room and give the family solitude. Fou watched them all scurry to the end of the hallway.
"Told you she'd have a boy." Edgar's cousin laughed, clapping a hand over the shoulder of one of the German Chans who grinned in turn. "What's Old Zu reading there?"
"Don't distract him!" Wong hissed, rising up in front of him, his face twisted up in a frightening grimace. "It's a very important ritual that must be performed at the birth of a Chan in order to gain approval from the God Seal."
"Like a Baptism?"
"Something like that."
"Oh, really." Edgar's cousin shrugged and turned to avoid the old man's intense gaze. "By all means. Christen away.
Fou sighed and wrapped her arms around her knees, allowing a small smile. She supposed it did make her feel warm inside when a new Chan pledged loyalty to the guardian. It felt like holding a purring kitten. She'd held a kitten a long time ago, one that Twi's uncle, Hei, had rescued from the canal and hidden from his mother and father. He'd sworn Fou to secrecy when she'd discovered it and the little nest he'd built for it in the third abandoned storage room. Fou had liked the little animal from the start (probably the only reason she didn't report it to her creator) and had visited with Hei every evening so she could pick it up and listen to the happy sound it made.
"Come in, come in!" Edgar's beaming face appeared in the doorway. "It's okay to come in now!"
His cousin rose to follow after him, tailed by Wong, then Zu Mei. Everyone else in the hallway hung back, taking turns migrating in and out to view the new child, all smiles and gleaming eyes. But Fou stayed in the hall, listening to those irritating 'oohs' and 'ahhs' the humans liked doing. "Hmph." Sure, artificial life was cleaner, and it yielded complete beings. A natural birth's product was a helpless, squalling infant. The humans could love it all they liked.
Before long, however, she turned to peek into the room herself. She couldn't remember a time when her young mistress smiled so much. Twi always kept such a severe expression on her face, hardened by determination and steeled nerves. Smiling wasn't like her at all.
But there she was, alternating glances between Edgar as he sat beside her and her new son cradled in her arms, black eyes strangely gentle as the corners of her lips curled just slightly into her cheeks. Wong was watching the new kid, some comical rivulets of water streaming out of his eyes. In the corner, Old Man Zu snapped the grimoire closed and finished his mantra. "Welcome, heir of the Chan Clan." A hush fell over the room, all present in silent vigil. Even the baby had stopped fussing.
Then Twi noticed Fou in the doorway. "Come in." She invited. "There's no need to stay by the door."
Fou took a step back. "No, thank you, ma'am. I'm fine out here." Her sensitive nose was in conflict with itself. The smell of newborn baby lingered in the room, a scent she didn't know how to describe but combined the smell of blood made it seem as though, ironically, someone had died in there.
-0-0-0-
During the next few days after the birth, Fou left the family to themselves and to the new infant whom Twi and Edgar had named Bak. (Fou was even more cynical of the name than the kid, to be honest. It sounded like 'baka', a Japanese word for 'fool'.)
Breaking out of her thoughts just in time to avoid collision, Fou quickly backtracked as a group of researchers hurried down the adjoining corridor, whispering excitedly amongst themselves. It was as though the entire Branch was in celebration. Fou found she understood that much. Most of the time, the only children in the Order were exorcists taken from their families or even exorcists born into the Order itself. Fou had heard of several cases like that before, and the exorcists raised by the Order commonly grew up to be bitter, war-hardened souls with uncompromising behavior.
The few children born in the Order, however, were treated as a sign of good fortune. Fou sniffed contemptuously at those notions, though. If a kid was born, a kid a was born; it didn't mean much to the Order's current situation.
Fou crossed her arms behind her head and continued onward. She was suddenly sensing a great deal of commotion originating from the training hall, the type of commotion where it seemed a poltergeist was on a rampage. Tuning into the matrix, she felt the walls shifting spontaneously, warping into indistinct shapes, splitting into cracks, and bulging into hills. Fou smiled.
Training that intense could only mean her mistress was back on full-time duty.
Sure enough, she found Twi in the midst of chaotic, subterranean matter, expertly dodging the elaborate Chinese soldiers she'd molded out of her surroundings. Except she was a little slower with her sorcery and physical action than Fou remembered, given to her lack of practice in recent months and general weakness she'd had since giving birth. Black ponytail waving, she wove between a line of three earthen warriors all carrying spears which jabbed at her for an extra challenge. Each of the soldiers had their own face and wore their own expressions of deep concentration.
More soldiers rose out of the ground, advancing toward the intrepid Branch Head as she leaped over one to kick the second in the face, bounced off to knock the first one down, land on the ground to trip another…Fou shook her head, finding it hard to keep up. She'd watched her train like this since she was a child and still Twi's personal way of training herself seemed both impressive and strenuous.
Suddenly, the soldiers froze, all turning their heads to look at Fou. Twi rose to her feet, breathing hard and face glossy with perspiration. The warriors melted away and she raised her uninjured left hand, beckoning in a familiar challenge.
Automatically, Fou launched herself forward, shifting her paws to blades. If she wants a spar, she'll get one, but I'll have to be gentle. There's no way she's in any condition to fight so soon after— She broke off with an alarmed yelp, stunned as a blood red rapier met her weapon. Maybe she does have more strength than I thought.
Twi forced her back, swishing her makeshift weapon. Liquid was the hardest element in the Chan sorcery to control; only a skilled user could hold the molecules together long enough to retain the desired shape; in this case, a rapier of Twi's own blood. When she was a girl, she'd practiced for hours by holding a sphere of water together as long as she could, starting with the size of a marble and methodically increasing every week until she could manage a size large enough to completely envelope a person.
A sword composed of her blood was nothing to her.
The weapon looked flimsy and weak, but Fou knew better. No matter how fast she was or how hard she struck, she'd never been able to snap and/or shatter the blade. Twi leaped back and darted forward. The sword point, slipped beneath Fou's left arm and almost pierced her chest. She deflected in the nick of time, considering raising her foot to kick her mistress. No, nothing too rough. She swung her arm around instead, almost catching the Director but the rapier saved her again.
Fou retreated and prepared for another strike, but as suddenly as the fight started, Twi abruptly called it off, jabbing the point of her blade into the ground and almost collapsing in exhaustion. "Enough…enough…"
Fou knelt beside her, her blades shifting back to paws. "Maybe it's a little too soon to be training, Twi. I was going easy on you." She chastised, though she was impressed at her mistress' willpower. Twi lowered her head, breathing hard as her bloody rapier retracted back into her hand, leaving two vertical slashes in her palm. Sweat dripped from her chin and her nose to the floor, leaving behind small, dark dots. "Hey." Fou shook her shoulder in urgency.
"I'm all right." She rose to her feet and strode off as best she could. "I just need more practice."
Personally, Fou didn't see why she was determined to work herself as hard as an exorcist did, but she knew she didn't have to train like this so soon after her baby's birth. Maybe she'd underestimated the stamina of humans. Then again, Twi was nineteen and could fight off a wolverine with a stick and an arm tied behind her back when she was physically sound. But in this state…Fou circled in front of her. "Listen to me, you shouldn't train until you're completely recovered."
Twi fixed her with a cold stare, though Fou could sense she was grateful she was worried. "That's what Edgar said, so I'll tell you what I told him. If I don't begin retraining soon, I'll go insane. I'm out of practice enough already." She gave a quiet gasp of pain and clapped a hand over her middle. "I have to build up my endurance again." She mumbled mostly to herself.
Fou gave a quiet sigh and crossed her arms. There was just no stopping Twi sometimes. "Then sit down and catch your breath, at least. I insist."
Instead of taking her advice and sitting, Twi's long legs buckled beneath her and she cried out in pain. She clamped her lips together, rubbing her hands against her calves. "Mm."
"You see?" Fou asked, taking a seat next to her. "Just rest awhile, Twi. You deserve it."
Twi didn't answer, taking long deep breaths. "It is a relief not to be carrying a parasite any longer."
Fou chuckled. "A parasite, huh? That's last thing I expect to hear considering how delighted you looked the other day."
"I don't care much for what people say. Childbirth is no miraculous blessing." She paused to catch her breath, twitching slightly as a spasm ran through her atrophied muscles. " But…I'm not sorry I have a son now." She fell silent, closing her black eyes. Fou didn't expect her to say anything else on the matter; Twi tended to avoid being open about her affections for some reason. Perhaps it was because of her own father's coldness. Yu Min had never let his emotions show, except perhaps some dreadful glee when one of his plans worked out. "By the way, are you ever going to come see Bak?"
Fou looked up in surprise, then turned away. "I thought it best if I keep my distance and give you and your husband privacy, ma'am."
Twi was silent, staring wistfully at the wall. "You weren't very friendly with me when I was a baby either. At least, that's what Uncle told me this morning."
"He has a good memory." Fou scratched the back of her head. "I'll get to it eventually, but after his brothers, I've rather had a bad opinion of children since. But sure, I'll visit your kid. Today, if you want."
Twi started to speak, but an overly worried voice howled from within the Branch, "Twi-sama!" She put a hand to her face, only an irritated eye peeking between her thumb and forefinger. "And that would be Wong. I'd better—"
"So there you are!" Called a triumphant voice. But instead of Wong in the doorway, the Head Matron came forward, seizing Twi by her ear and dragging her protesting angrily out of the training hall. "You were told to rest and here I find you straining yourself when you haven't fully recovered! Honestly, you young women have absolutely no respect for your bodies! You may be the director of biological science here, but I'm still the medicine professional and you, young lady…"
Fou found herself laughing slightly at the situation as she followed them back to the Chans' living quarters. She'd seen her mistress flustered before, but the sight of her being dragged away by a woman half her height was unbearable. Twi was making irritated faces at Fou all the way to the door of her and Edgar's private apartment.
Still keeping a firm grip on her ear, the Head Matron threw open the door, startling Edgar who was sitting in an armchair where he could keep an eye on the sleeping infant. "Head Matron! And Twi and Fou! What's going on?"
The Head Matron ignored him and shoved Twi behind a tall screen, screaming, "Get those sweaty clothes off!" Before she grabbed at the Branch Head herself, tearing at the black leggings and sleeveless shirt she was wearing. Fou watched the silhouettes of the two women grappling and shouting in anger or alarm.
"Quit struggling!"
"I can change by myself!"
"Rest is the best thing for you!"
"Get off me!"
At last, Twi stumbled from behind the paper screen, wearing a pale blue kimono the Japanese wore for sleeping and appearing very disturbed. Several strands of her hair had come out of her ponytail and were sticking up at unusual angles. She flinched away from the Head Matron as she stormed by, carrying her damp clothes. "Bed, now!" She said as she stormed out, not even waiting to see if her charge obeyed her commands.
"Twi, little help." Edgar entreated, a little feebly. All the commotion had woken the infant up and now an angry wail filled the room, piercing Fou's finely tuned ears.
"Oh!" Twi crossed the room to her husband, taking her son and gently rocking him back to sleep. Fou's brow furrowed. Maybe it was just the training, but her mistress was looking very, very tired. Why hadn't she noticed those dark circles under her eyes until now? And why hadn't Edgar been among those looking for her? He could've passed Bak off to anyone's temporary care to join the search.
Fou stiffened in alarm, sensing a weak shaking in her mistress' knees. But Edgar noticed before she could say anything and put his hands on her shoulders and guided her to the rocking chair next to the chair he'd been sitting in. Twi sat down with a long, jaded sigh. "There, there, my son. I'm here."
Maybe motherhood suited her after all, Fou thought as the baby's cries began to subside, replaced by some quiet whimpering.
"When was he fed last?" Twi looked up at Edgar.
The blond man tilted his head in confusion. "You fed him right before you left and you've only been gone fifteen minutes. And what did you do to upset the Head Matron so much? I've never seen her like that before."
Twi shrugged and focused on the infant. "He keeps making weird faces at me." She murmured distractedly.
"You were training, weren't you! Twi!" He circled the rocking chair to kneel in front of her, taking one of her hands in his and leaving her to balance the fussing infant in her other arm. "You're not strong enough for that yet!"
One of her eyebrows twitched irritably. "Don't coddle me."
Don't take it out of him because you're annoyed you got caught. Fou wanted to say, but she knew that would only lead to raised voices and ultimately send the kid into a squall again. Speaking of which—Fou craned her neck to see the face in the bundle—the infant seemed to have been quelled by his mother, give or take a few whimperings. "I don't get it." Fou turned to Edgar. "That looks easy enough; why didn't you calm the kid down?"
"Uh…" Edgar scratched the back of his head. "It's just Twi is better at it than I am, you understand?"
"Yes, but you're going to have to do it yourself soon." Twi looked annoyed with him.
"And you have to get over your fear that you might drop him, darling."
Twi went red and stammered, "I-I don't have a fear of dropping him."
"Oh, really?" Edgar teased, poking her forehead. "Then what about when…"
Fou looked back and forth between the two of them as they flew into another hushed bickering spat. They'd always been like this, even when they were children and it had annoyed her to no end. Mostly because they always seemed to find time for it when she wanted to nap.
With a sigh, the Guardian Deity shook her head and leaned forward. Well, might as well have a look at the kid while I'm here. A pair of large, dark blue eyes stared back at her, wide and unblinking, very different from the closed, pinched profile she'd seen the other day. They watched her inquisitively, their tiny owner oblivious to his parents' squabbling, having a new target of interest. He hadn't seen this person before, or anyone like her. She wasn't like the woman-with-the-soft-voice or the man-with-the-warm-smile.
Cautiously, Fou extended one of her paws forward to pat the kid's blond hair. Bak blinked in bewilderment. The new person was touching him. She was touching him with strange hands. The woman-with-the-soft-voice didn't have hands like that. Fou tipped her head to the side as the infant reached a tiny hand toward her paw until the tips of his fingers brushed against her. She frowned at the look on his face; it was just like the look of fascination on an adult. Was he fascinated with her paws? They were nothing special; it was just some detail she'd added to her setting at some point, made her stand out from those with hands.
Edgar and Twi fell silent and turned to look at them, slightly astounded. They both knew Fou could not abide children and avoided them when she could help it. Never had they seen her touch an infant before.
A delighted, toothless smile broke out on the baby's face. Fou pursed her lips thoughtfully. Okay, maybe he was a little cute. "Hello, rascal." She announced. "I'm Fou and I'm protecting you, so you'd better not give me any trouble. You got it?" The baby squealed in glee, reaching his other hand up to touch her paw. Fou frowned.
"You have some growing up to do, Madame Guardian. And you need to find yourself someone special to love and protect. With all your heart!"
She didn't have to. They'd been here the whole time. Right where they always would be. Her family had a new kid, and that was something the humans loved. Fou smiled wistfully. And in another twenty to thirty-something years, the whole thing would start over again. But maybe it wasn't so bad. It was how the life spark worked, didn't it?
The simple, basic procedure of human existence.
She could understand that.
Author's Notes:
Thank you for reading. Review please.
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