A fill for the DA:O kinkmeme. OP asked for a virginal, straight up prude fem warden, who really doesn't like the idea of sex, until an LI changes her mind. I opted for Isabela, because honestly, who wouldn't? I also liked writing a more carefree Isabela than I do in 'Second Chances'.


"A brothel? You want to go to a brothel?"

Elissa's face turned crimson in an instant.

"I have been asked to take care of a band of mercenaries who've been causing trouble there!" she said in a rush, glaring at Zevran, who was all but gloating.

"You. In a brothel. You will let me come, yes? This I have to see."

She pulled out a dagger and he rolled his eyes, but fell silent. It was her standard response to about half the things he said.

"Who is going to a brothel?"

Elissa groaned and buried her face in her hands.

"No one, Oghren. It's just business for Sergeant Kylon."

"Well, I wouldn't say no to a night..."

"It's strictly business!" she said through gritted teeth. "And I'm not even thinking about taking you there."

"Now, that isn't fair. After all this time travelling and fighting and camping in the dirt, a man has needs!" the dwarf protested.

"Maker preserve us!" Elissa groaned.

"What's the matter?"

"Our oh so chaste warden is going to a brothel, and she won't let me come with her!"

Leliana blinked.

"You are joking? Elissa would never do such a thing." The bard turned to her and gave her a questioning look.

"It isn't like that! There are mercenaries bothering the proprietor, I've agreed to go there and kindly ask them to leave. At knifepoint, if necessary."

To her utter annoyance, Leliana's lips curled into a grin, which she tried to hide, but to little avail.

"Oh, but my dear warden, do you think that is wise? You in a brothel?"

"I am not a child! I know they exist. I know there is... I know people..." She stumbled over her words, and it didn't help that Zevran was looking like that again, and the former cloistered sister was giving her an almost pitying look. "I'm not having that kind of conversation again! Just because all of you always have to talk about vulgar things, doesn't mean I have a problem. Just because I didn't grow up in a... a... house of ill repute, or spent my youth cavorting in Orlais. You are the deviants here."

"Now that is just hurtful," Leliana said with a small pout, and turned to leave, fueling Elissa's anger even more.

"Yes, you've hurt my feelings terribly, though a kiss might assuage the pain..."

"My dagger is still drawn, Zevran!"

"Ah, well, never mind."

That night she lay in her tent, just on the outskirts of the city, seething. Why did they not understand? Or failing that, leave her alone, at least? It was bad enough that she made a fool of herself every time the subject came up. Once, she'd spilled the entire kettle of stew, because Zevran had shamelessly been trying to seduce Leliana a few feet away, Leliana fortunately being smart enough not to fall for him. Though the bard really wasn't that much better. Elissa had tripped over her own feet and crashed to the ground when Morrigan had asked Leliana to stop staring at her breasts that one time. Morrigan's attire was another point entirely. And she still had to cringe when she thought about the day Alistair had given her that rose. She'd stared at him like an apostate at a templar, feeling faintly sick. Leliana and Zevran by the fire behind them had barely tried to keep their laughter at bay, before Wynne had taken pity on her, and pulled Alistair to the side, informing him gently that sometimes, if a girl was kind to him, it was really just that: kindness.

She wasn't usually clumsy, she was a self-assured young woman, she thought defiantly, a brilliant fighter, and it was bloody unfair that they kept treating her like a child just because all their dirty conversations made her uncomfortable. You just didn't talk about these things! At some point, you got married and then... things... just happened. Because that was the way it was. The right way. And then you had babies, which kind of was the only real reason for the whole nonsense, right?

She couldn't see the appeal, anyway. It all sounded weird and sticky and embarrassing, and she didn't even want to think about the details. She didn't have these kinds of desires! And as for Zevran telling her that it was ridiculous to judge something she hadn't even done, well, then she was ridiculous! If ridiculous meant virtuous, she loved being ridiculous.

Needless to say, she didn't sleep much that night.

"What is it now, Zevran?"

"I want to apologize."

Elissa pursed her lips.

"No you don't. You're just going to make fun of me again, or say something crude."

She stirred her oatmeal listlessly.

"I promise I won't. On my mother's grave."

"You shouldn't say that kind of thing lightly," she said warningly, but for once, he looked earnest.

"I know."

"Alright then. Apologize."

He cocked an eyebrow.

"I am sorry for teasing you. But..."

"Here we go," she moaned, trying to get to her feet, but he grabbed her lightly by the wrist and held her back.

"Wait. Please. Hear me out."

She slumped back down.

"Fine." She gave him a wary glance, then stared into the almost dead fire.

"We are all adults here. If the things I say make you that uncomfortable, I will stop, because I have a lot of respect for you and want to earn your friendship and trust. Just one thing. I can see where you're coming from, you are a lady, some day you would have had a husband who'd have adored you. You might have learned about pleasure in time. But look around. You're a Grey Warden during a Blight, fighting against all odds. If you died tomorrow, wouldn't you regret not finding out whether there is more to carnal desires than you think, after all?"

"I am not going to be seduced by you, Zevran," she said, glowering. "And reminding me of my mortality is really not going to earn you any favors here."

He gave her an almost sad smile.

"Live as long as you have the chance, milady. That's all I wanted to say."

Elissa pressed her lips together.

"I'm not sure I trust you, Zevran. But I'll think on your words."

Zevran nodded

"That's all I wanted to convey. Oh, and as for the brothel job? I'd highly recommend taking me with you, especially since the location might make you uncomfortable. I know my way around those places, it'll help. I promise to hold my tongue."

She huffed.

"Fine. I suppose there is some sense in what you propose."

"Ah, those words. They make me very happy, my dear Warden."

"Shush, you, before I change my mind. Get ready, we'll be heading for the city in half an hour."

She had the entire day to steel herself, before they eventually headed to the Pearl. She wasn't quite sure what she'd expected. Worse, probably. It looked enough like a tavern, just seedier, and the ladies and gents were dressed in skimpier, more flamboyant clothing. And the patrons made her feel uncomfortably aware of how her armor did not cover enough of her body. But she was determined not to let it get to her, or at least not to let it show.

"What can I get for you, honey?"

Elissa's head whipped around and she looked at a dark-haired woman who smiled at her.

"I am not... Are you the proprietor? Sergeant Kylan sends me. Someone's bothering you?"

"Oh, thank goodness you're here! The White Falcons are through there, you can't really miss them, just go for the loudest and most annoying bunch of guys."

So they made their way into the adjacent room. She'd brought Alistair and Wynne in addition to Zevran, and wondered briefly what they must have looked like to the group of mercenaries.

"Hey there, precious, looking for a good time?"

She felt herself flush to the roots of her hair, but just sneered at the man.

"You're not welcome here any longer. If you leave now, no one will get hurt."

They laughed at that. It wasn't like she'd expected anything else. Any other day, she might have tried to talk them down, but today she felt belligerent. She pulled out her daggers.

"I'm sorry you see it that way," Elissa said, not sorry at all, and attacked. It took them only a few moments before the mercenaries backed down.

"Some mercenaries you are," she muttered, pocketing their coin, watching them leave. "That was easier than I expected. Let's get ou..."

Considering that they had just chased off some mercenaries in the middle of the brothel, it should perhaps not have surprised her so much that someone else was having another fight here as well. But her gaze fell on the woman so easily and so gracefully bringing down her opponents, and Elissa could do little else but stare.

"Maker," she muttered. That was highly efficient fighting. The woman just wasn't there anymore when her opponents tried to strike back. Fast, precise, beautiful. Next to her, Elissa felt like a bumbling amateur. Anything to fight like that, she thought.