100 Things Not To Do At Lyle House:
1. I am not allowed to replace the nurses healthy food with candy, cupcakes, cake, and other fattening foods.
2. It is a bad idea to tell Ms. Van Dop that she takes herself too seriously.
3. I will not make fun of the fact that Dr. Gill looks like a rat.
4. I will not make fun of the fact that Dr. Davidoff looks like a vulture.
5. I will not tell Mrs. Enright to quit being a b*tch.
6. I will not start a bating pool on how long it will take Tori to leave Simon alone.
7. I will not tell Chloe that she raised an army of dead people in her sleep and started an apocalypse.
8. I will not call Derek "Wolf-boy", "Dog-boy", "Mutt", or "Dog-face".
9. It is a bad idea to tell Derek that Liam and Ramon kidnapped Chloe.
10. It is a bad idea to make fun of Derek, Chloe, Simon, and Tori about how they are genetically modified.
11. I am not allowed to go into the crawl space.
12. I am not allowed to start a bating pool on how many times Ms. Wang says "I QUIT!"
13. I am not allowed to insist that Derek needs a flea collar.
14. I will not call Derek a "nice doggy".
15. I am not allowed to lock Tori and Rae in a room to see who will come out alive.
16. I should never argue with the nurses because they will always win in the end.
17. I will not sing, hum, or recite the song "Animal I've Become By: Three Days Grace" in front of Derek.
18. I will not call Tori the "Pill Princess".
19. I will not mention Liz's poltergeist.
20. I will not suggest that Tori and Simon should go out.
21. I will not tempt to confuse Derek for the results are not good.
22. I should not remind Derek and Chloe of the crawl space incident for it is hazardous to my health.
23. I will not tell Davidoff that he is not helping anyone by killing teenagers or children.
24. I will not refer to Tori as Simon's stalker.
25. I will not refer to Simon as Chloe's stalker.
26. I will not refer to Derek as Chloe's knight-in-shining-armor.
27. I will not tell Tori that she needs to quit trying to kill the new kids.
28. I will not hide out in the boys' bathroom just to scare Derek.
29. I will not hide out in the boys' bathroom to discuss escape plans with Derek.
30. I will not hide behind Derek when Tori and Rae fight.
31. I will not call Tori and Simon "divas" even if it is true.
32. I will not break into Dr. Gills office to steal files on other patients to use as blackmail against them.
33. I will not make fun of Chloe's stutter nor will I tell someone to hit her on the back to "restart" her.
34. Derek has heard all of the "wolf-boy" jokes and comments and finds it annoying now.
35. Tori does not need to be reminded that her mother thinks she is worth nothing.
36. I am not allowed to take advantage of Tori when she is doped up on meds and take all of her clothes and hide them.
37. I will not ask if Derek has thrown anyone into a wall lately.
38. I will not ask Simon if he has had a switch-blade held to his neck lately.
39. I will not ask Chloe if she has seen any burnt up custodians lately.
40. I will not ask Chloe what happened the night Liz was "transferred".
41. It is unacceptable to tell Derek to "get a life".
42. I am not allowed to tell the nurses "to get a life".
43. It is wrong to take revenge on Derek for being honest about someone.
44. Simon and Derek are not blood related and they know this so do not act surprised when they say they are brothers.
45. I will not mention to Simon nor Derek that their "totally awesome" father has not come to get them yet.
46. I will not ask Chloe how her mom died.
47. I will not ask Rae what happened to her real mom.
48. I will not ask Rae why she tried to burn her foster mom.
49. I will not yell "BURN!" when Rae supposedly burns Tori with her bare hands.
50. I will not tell Derek to quit eavesdropping from the main floor of the house.
51. I will not tell Chloe "I see dead people" for it only makes her mad.
52. I am not allowed to suggest that Chloe and Derek should go out.
53. I am not allowed to sneak out even if I do know the alarm's code.
54. I will not start a bating pool on how many times Derek will walk in right when Simon is about to make a move on Chloe for it is tasteless and tacky.
55. I will not start a bating pool on how many times Simon will try to make a move on Chloe.
56. I will not go up to Simon after Derek walked in while Simon tried to make a move on Chloe and say "Alls fair in love and war."
57. I will not ask Derek if the pack is after him.
58. I will not ask Derek "What happens when you tick off the pack?".
59. I am not allowed to slap the cheerfulness out of Simon even if it is a depressing day.
60. I am not allowed to tell Tori that her clothes are out of style and that gothic is in.
61. I am not allowed to tell Tori that her shoes are out of style.
62. I am not allowed to replace all of Tori's clothes with all black gothic clothing and shoes.
63. I am not allowed to ask Chloe if she will become emo or gothic.
64. I will not ask Chloe if she has summoned any dead family members lately.
65. I will not ask Rae what she has against Tori.
66. I will not ask Tori what she has against Rae.
67. I will not ask Chloe what her necklace is supposed to do.
68. I will not tell Derek that he will never change into a full-blown wolf.
69. I am not allowed to say that Dr. Gill is crazy.
70. I am never allowed to ask what really happened to Liz, Brady, and Amber.
71. I am not allowed to go to class in pajamas.
72. I am not allowed to hide out in my room.
73. I will not sing or hum "Shut Up By Simple Plan" for the nurses tend to think you are literally telling them to shut up.
74. There never has nor will there ever be a karaoke night at Lyle House.
75. Telling Derek to put on deodorant is very rude.
76. Telling Derek to wash his hair is also rude.
77. I will not tell Derek that Chloe is his mate.
78. I will not tell Chloe that she is Derek's mate.
79. I will not send a love note to Simon and sign it Chloe.
80. I will not send a love not to Tori and sign it Simon.
81. I will not say Simon is "Gay".
82. It is unacceptable to sell tickets to one of Tori and Rae's annual fights.
83. I am not allowed to tell Simon that Derek and Chloe are going out.
84. I will not lock Derek and Chloe in a room just to see how long it will take them to realize they love each other.
85. It is wrong to lock Simon and Tori in a room to see if they kill or fall in love with each other.
86. It is wrong to steal Chloe's necklace.
87. It is wrong to tell Rae that she is over weight.
88. I will not ask the nurses if there is a dr. named House.
89. I will not scream "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" when they come to "transfer" me.
90. I will not ask Tori if she has a flying broomstick.
91. I will not ask Simon if he has an invisible flying car.
92. I will not ask if Derek has ever been to Forks, Washington.
93. I will not tell Derek that I'm stronger than him when I know I am sadly not.
94. I will not tell Derek and Chloe that they are prefect for each other then list the reasons.
95. I will not call 911 and tell them that I am being held against my will by mad scientist that genetically modified me at birth.
96. I am not allowed to ask Derek if I look like a moron for I probably will not like his answer.
97. NEVER ASK ANYONE THE QUESTION "DO I LOOK LIKE A MORON?!" FOR THE RESULT IS THE TRUTH AND IS NOT VERY NICE.
98. NEVER TELL A LIEā¦unless you are a nurse.
99. I am not a nurse therefore I can not give out any kind of pills.
100. Never try to run away from Lyle House because they do have guards with guns and they are not afraid to shoot you. (tranquilizer gun or a shot gun they don't care. Their policy is "Bring them back dead or alive.")
