A Duet of Shadow and Flame
Chapter 1 – Disappointment
Many things could be said in regards to Gwendolyn "Wendy" Corduroy, eldest child – and only daughter – of legendary lumberjack "Manly" Daniel Corduroy. To many, she was skilled, loyal and cool under pressure. To others, she was mischievous, lazy and a natural-born troublemaker. Obviously, any or all of these views were true on any given day, but then they were simply the qualities that everyone knew.
Beyond these, however, were things that others knew nothing of; such as the keen intellect and near debilitating levels of stress hidden beneath her seemingly carefree demeanor. The first she kept hidden for the sake of avoiding unwanted attention while simply enjoying her personal victories in academics. The latter, she concealed out of worry for her family and the uncertainty of her own immanent ascension into adulthood.
Yes, as hard as it was to believe, in only five short months she would finally reach the mythical age of eighteen when literally everything would change; a prospect that terrified her to the core even as it tantalized her adventurous spirit.
Of course, to those who knew her best, even these revelations would have come as little surprise.
Something that might have surprised – perhaps even shocked! – others, however, were the secret hopes and dreams instilled in her at a young age by her mother; back when all she knew of boys was that she could easily best them in most activities. Back then, boys didn't like her for that reason and she didn't like them because she was constantly forced to avoid contamination by the dreaded cooties that plagued them. Back then, she had simply assumed boys where icky and would always remain so.
But her mother had told her stories that painted a different picture of such things. Not stories about some helpless princess waiting for a handsome prince to rescue her, but rather stories of a woman who had once been Jessica O'Rourke and the scruffy lumberjack who had won her heart by never asking for anything more than her smile. Stories of how he – a perpetually angry mountain of a man with a grip that could dent steel – would sit with her silently when she was upset, recite bad poetry to make her laugh and bring her flowers simply because he thought she might like them.
For years, such stories had been the tales which lulled Wendy to sleep at bedtime and had forever shaped her view of love long before she ever understood what "love" really meant.
Yes, beneath everything she showed to the world, she – Wendy Corduroy, lumberjill extraordinaire and well recognized 'queen of cool' – was at heart a hopeless romantic; a fact that always set off a cascade of emotions that never failed to set her heart racing even as set her cheeks ablaze.
Naturally, the most prominent of those emotions was always embarrassment; for not only did they clash with her carefully crafted image, but also because she knew that friend and frenemy alike would never let her live down such a secret. Beyond that embarrassment, however, there was longing; a deep, soul-burning desire to know the kind of love her mother had experienced as opposed to the simply dating she herself had known. In the end though, it was always uncertainty that won the day and made her question whether those stories had ever held any truth within them; and if it was really too much to ask for someone to see her, want her and treat her the way her father had done for her mother.
In such times, the questions that often came to the forefront of her mind were always the same.
Would it inconvenience a potential suitor to call her for no reason other than to check up on her? Would it hurt them to give her a flower simply because they could? Would it bother them to be beside her simply for the sake of being beside her; without expectation or pressure for more, perhaps without pressure for anything at all?
Inevitably, the answer to those questions always seemed to be "Yes," but even that knowledge still failed to diminish the hope she held for the kind of love she truly wanted.
Three summers earlier, she had allowed herself the hope that she had finally found that kind of love, back when Robbie Valentino had professed to have written a song for her; and all of Gravity Falls seemed to know how that fiasco had ended.
Back then, as now, it seemed that the boys who showed interest in her were never interested in honest romance; only in bolstering their own popularity by association or – much later – by being the one who finally managed to score with the local 'celebrity' in the wake of Weirdmageddon. Thankfully, the fact that such a thing had never happened had eventually caused her popularity to wane back to her small circle of friends along with a few diehard hopefuls. It was also the reason why she remained one of the few 'still-proud-to-be-a-virgins' left in her high school.
But that same summer had also been when she first met the then twelve-year-old Dipper Pines; a funny, paranoid boy with boundless curiosity and infinite imagination whom she had initially seen as just another kid to deal with. A boy who had later shown more bravery than some men thrice his age and who had overcome his awkwardness around her to become one of the best friends she had ever had. A boy who had inadvertently declared his love for her in the wake of a harrowing and near fatal adventure; and whose heart she had broken in response, despite her best effort to break it gently.
Back then, she had felt that same fragile flutter of hope building in the aftermath of his confession, but as flattered as she had been, she had dismissed his feelings as a schoolboy crush. Back then, their age difference made it seem like the right decision. Nevertheless, as her little doofus had grown and become one of the few people in whom she could truly confide, she sometimes found herself wishing she had chosen to give him a chance instead. Unfortunately, she had long ago convinced herself that that ship had sailed and that she had missed it.
Every so often, however, she still let herself wonder whether or not that belief was really true.
-Two months earlier-
At exactly what point she realized that movie night wasn't happening was difficult to say, but strange as it sounded, she found that that fact didn't bother her that much. Not because she didn't want to have a bit of time to destress by bashing some of the worst B-Movies ever made, far from it. Rather, after the day she had had, she simply decided to enjoy the spectacle unfolding before her and revel in the familiar absurdity of it all.
Lying atop her bed on her stomach, dressed in her favorite flannel nightshirt and loose black pants with her outdated but serviceable laptop resting before her, Wendy watched the scene currently unfolding across the video chat she shared with one of her dearest friends. More appropriately, she lay watching the occasional blur of red and blue that zipped back and forth across the screen and snickered at the hasty platitudes of 'one sec' and 'I know it's here!' or 'sorry!' that punctuated the brief appearances before the figure finally settled itself in front of the camera.
"So… found your essay I take it?"
"Yeah, I guess Mabel decided it'd be funny to hide it on me again."
"Figured," she said as she let herself gaze fully upon one half of the pair of twins who that had become her best friends over the years and felt herself smile at the sight.
Gone was the scrawny, noodle-armed child she had met three years ago, that image long replaced by a young man with nicely defined shoulders that highlighted a runner's physique and friendly face that now sported a pair of thin-rimmed glasses. A look that she often felt gave him a far more distinguished appearance than his age would normally allow, and had told himself several times. In truth, the only things about him that hadn't changed were the Ursa Major shaped birthmark upon his forehead and the scruffy brown hair that still defied any attempt made to comb it; and while her friend would likely never be considered an Adonis, there was little doubt in her mind that if he ever got out of his studies long enough to date again, he would likely be breaking hearts left and right.
Yes, she had to admit that Dipper Pines had filled out nicely.
"Wendy?"
"Hrm?"
"You uh… didn't answer my question and you're um… k-kinda staring at me. Everything okay?"
As the realization that her introspection had caused her to zone out momentarily, she fought the urge to blush and shook her head quickly before flashing him an awkward smile.
"Sorry, dude, was thinking about something else there. What did you say?"
"I asked if you'd gotten your outfit yet," he said. "You and Mabel were talking about it all last week and the seamstress seemed to think she could get it done fairly quickly. I was um… well… I was kind of hoping I could get a sneak peek?"
While she had been prepared for almost anything, the innocent question caught her off guard and she felt herself tense up as unwanted memories of an earlier conversation and the awkwardness that followed came flooding back. Of course Dipper would ask her about that, for while she remained convinced that he had grown out of seeing her through the rose-colored lenses of a crush, he still took an interest in nearly anything she did and would often be her sounding board for various situations; a fact she usually appreciated more than she could ever let on. Unfortunately, despite her attempt to keep her face free of emotions, something must have shown through as she watched Dipper tilt his head slightly to the side as he regarded her silently; an action that left no doubt in her mind that he knew something was wrong.
Somehow, that made what she was about to say even harder as it felt as though she were about to break his heart all over again.
"I… no I cancelled the order," she said at length.
"What? Why?! Wait…" he paused, standing up suddenly so that his face almost completely filled the camera. "She didn't mess it up did she?!"
"Heh, nah dude, nothing like that," she said, forcing a laugh as she waved her hand dismissively. "I just… decided I wasn't gonna go after all, you know? Just kinda changed my mind, you know? Way too much drama and stuff for me."
At first, she hoped her nonchalance would stave off further questions and allow them to either talk some more or get on with movie night; until she remembered which of the Mystery Twins she was speaking to and cursed herself for ever answering his question. Quick as a whip, Dipper was on his feet once more, a look of disbelief on his face as he stared at her. Naturally, she knew what was coming next and tried to will it away, but of course that didn't work.
"What do you mean you're not going!?" he said, practically yelling. "Wendy this was all you talked about for the past month! You said you'd finally found a good guy and that you were going to go and have fun and that you…!"
"Dude! Dude! Chill out, man!" she said, leaning back a little and kicking her feet up as she flashed what she hoped was a reassuring smile towards her panicking friend. "It's just, well, things didn't work out between me and Mike, that's all. I mean, it's just another dance, no big deal right? Really, it's not all that different from the stuff we do at the Mystery Shack all the time. Just on a bigger scale… seriously dude, that's all it is, just another dance."
Silently, she could not help but wonder which of them she was trying harder to convince.
"But," he whined. "Wendy, you were looking forward to it. What happened? Why did you two break up?"
"Dipper…"
"Why?"
"Dipper, look man I just…" she began, only to bite her lip and look away. Even on her poor excuse for a computer, she could see the concern that filled her friend's chocolate brown eyes.
In that moment, all she wanted to do was accept the comfort she knew to be hiding behind those eyes, but instead remained frozen where she lay.
"Wendy, you know I'm not gonna push you for an answer," he said. "But, I can see you're hurting right now and you know I'll listen."
"Doof… Dipper," she said, sighing heavily.
Always the concerned little gentleman, that was her doofus alright.
"Look, the truth is, I thought I finally found the one guy in my high school who wanted something more than to score with 'The Lumberjack Princess of Weirdmageddon," she said. "Guess I thought wrong."
On the screen, Dipper stared at her for several seconds, almost – but not quite – slack-jawed before he too sighed and slouched back into his chair.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
With those words, silenced descended over them and it became apparent that movie night had officially been ruined. For Wendy, there was no point in trying to break Dipper from the funk she knew such information would instill in him. For Dipper, she knew that there was no salvaging a night when he knew she had once again been hurt by someone she trusted.
"Look, Dipper, let's just…"
"I think you should still go," he said, cutting her off.
"Say what?" she replied.
"Wendy," he said, looking at her with a now determined smile. "I… I think you should still go. It's your senior prom and even if you go alone, I think you should be there. You might have fun anyway."
"Dipper… dude, I appreciate that but…"
"That's… that's the advice you gave me when Laura and I broke up before that dance freshman year," he said, cutting her off once more. "I, yeah I went by myself but I still had fun. Remember?"
Of course she remembered, just as she remembered comforting him when he found out that the girl he thought liked him had only been using him to improve her grades; and while she felt like cursing herself for that advice now, she couldn't help but be touched on some level. Likewise, she couldn't help but marvel at how much her little man had grown over the years.
After at least two minutes of silence, she finally nodded and said, "I remember."
"So… you'll go?"
"I…I…" she stammered. "Dude, I dunno… maybe? It won't hurt to think about it I guess."
"Okay."
"Thanks, Doofus."
"You're welcome."
As another companionably awkward silence fell upon them, Wendy felt herself smile genuinely at him in response. However, it also became rapidly clear that neither knew what else to say on the matter. Instead of forcing further conversation though, they promised each other a raincheck for the lost movie night and said their respective goodnights before shutting off the video feeds.
Suddenly alone, Wendy felt that awkward silence turn almost sinister as it closed around her and she found herself reflexively seeking out her old stuff walrus in response; and sighed thankfully at the sense comfort its nearly inaudible squeak brought her. Closing her eyes, she shifted and slide beneath her covers, attempting to relax while simultaneously offering up a silent prayer for sleep to take her quickly that night. Unfortunately, as she curled up around the familiar softness of her old plush toy, she found herself wonder what it might have felt like to curl up to Dipper instead.
Hours later, she quietly cursed the sweet oblivion of sleep that never found her as her red-rimmed eyes stared out the window into the rising sun beyond.
"I don't know how it started
Or why it ever had to end.
When something stepped inside,
We didn't let it in.
It's keeping us apart…
Where are you now?"
-"Where Are You Now?" by Jimmy Harnen
Author's Notes:
I do not own Gravity Falls. All characters are © to their respective owners. No Infringement is intended.
Chapter Theme Song: "Where Are You Now?" by Jimmy Harnen.
This story was originally inspired by the Wendip Week Tumblr Prompt "Dance" and was the only one that gave me immediate inspiration. Unfortunately, I'm a bit late to the party for that one, but I'm writing the story anyway! I hope everyone enjoys it!
This chapter has been revised and edited from its original publication. Hopefully the new changes come through seamlessly and it is improved upon in general.
