Jerked up to posting quality in a heartbeat when I realized I had an online assignment due... tomorrow... that conveniently entailed 'write a creative piece off this list of prompts! Then analyze it!' especially bad when the book was something I don't even own, much less have ever read... Once again, fanfiction to the rescue!
Now, anyway, since my last fic here effectively ruined a predominantly happy show, I gave this one more a positive spin. I hope you enjoy :)
Prompt from Daytripper: "Only when you accept that one day you'll die can you let go, and make the best out of life. And that's the big secret. That's the miracle." -Gabriel Bá (...Okay so this wasn't originally based off it and was instead edited to make it look like it was and it's really not related to the prompt at all...)
The view hospital windows afforded was really lacking, Yuri thought. He didn't know why anyone would want to look out and see the traffic-clogged street below, the slow trickle of visitors and doctors going to and from the hospital, the truly hideous warehouse across the street abandoned decades ago. In a place where suffering was already in such abundance, surely it wouldn't be too hard to spring for at the very least a garden; anything less drab than the ugly eye sore of industrialization going on below.
Yuri leaned his head against the peeling paint of the wall, staring hazily through the blinds. As unappealing as the world below was, it was a better sight than the patient in the room with him- and it allowed his mind to wander, anyway, and that was something he sorely needed now.
He closed his eyes for a long moment and let out a sigh. The darkness didn't help to ease the roiling nausea, and he reluctantly let himself drop into a chair, curling an arm around his stomach in a fruitless effort to calm the persistent sickness. He pictured the guilt as a physical substance right now, sitting in his stomach like a leaden ball resistant to all attempts to appease or remove it.
It had sat there like this ever since he'd known the results of his actions at the Circus Festival. Granted, time healed all wounds, taking him from a state of where it was almost impossible to function to an impressive semblance of normalcy, but now it was back with a vengeance, festering cruelly ever since Sora had told him Leon had called her Sophie.
Oh, he'd suspected before then, but it wasn't until she'd confirmed it that he'd known Leon's fall was his fault.
'Time heals all wounds', huh?
Seems that's not true for Leon.
No matter how awfully Yuri felt now, and how selfish the thought was, he just wished for the clock to fast forward to weeks, months, years from now, when Leon's fall would be nothing but a terrible memory.
Now, though, he couldn't help the guilt the seized him, the deep sense of horror that pooled in his heart when he saw Leon jump for thin air- the terrible parallel his mind had drawn with the moment his father had done the same thing.
He thanked God Leon's mistake had been so close to earth, not dozens of feet high like his father's, and took a moment to reflect on the preferability of a hospital bed to a morgue. Then he shuddered again, remembering vividly how, in the very instant of Leon's fall, Yuri had been horribly, utterly convinced that he was going to die.
They both jumped trusting in something intangible at best, nonexistent at worst, so it's hardly any surprise they both fell.
Though, from what we've heard, Leon forgot he was even on a trapeze at all. I don't know if that's better or worse than Dad...
It had taken an overwhelming willpower to move, when he saw Leon jump reaching for something- or someone- that was not there, but once he'd started, nothing could've stopped him. He's sprinted off the catwalk paying no heed to the cast members he was bowling over, threw himself down the maze of trapezes now shrouded in darkness, the stage lights having been shut off, finally to land safe on his feet, just ten feet away from where Leon had fallen.
The thin, shaky rise of his chest, visible even from so far away, had eft Yuri frozen with relief.
It had taken Kalos and Ken both to hold May back from interfering in her panic; Sora had been too petrified to move. With the risk of spinal injury, either girl trying to move him would've been dangerous, and Yuri probably should've helped hold them back, but he had found himself rooted to the spot in the shadows, merely watching, his heart having shriveled up into a cold lump at the sight. He'd only moved once it was time to transport Leon to the hospital, helping to prod Sora forward to accompany him, the poor girl still not seeming to understand that she was his choice now.
And now...
Everyone else had left. Kalos had filled out insurance information and been gone just as quick, and once the doctors had finished with Leon, Layla had coaxed his two partners, faux-former and genuine-current, into leaving as well. They were both too shaken up to handle much more, for which Yuri was grateful- because he wanted to be alone with Leon right now.
And, he still waited for that chance.
"Wake up, will you," he muttered, casting a sour glance in Leon's direction that inevitably softened at the other man's poor condition. "I don't have all day."
Well, I do, but I'd rather not spend it all in here with you.
His words had no effect, and, with a sigh, Yuri resigned himself to a long wait.
It was when Yuri had finally dropped off into a light doze himself that Leon at last began stirring. The rustle of sheets woke him, leaving him to blink sleep out of his eyes as Leon shifted and muttered to himself, restless and uneasy. His brows drew together as if in pain, the motion under the blanket as if he were trying to thrash or flail; his severely weakened body turned back and forth, and the struggles only got worse when Yuri placed a hand on his shoulder in alarm.
He's hurting himself, Yuri thought, gnawing on his lower lip in concern as he looked over Leon worriedly. "Leon," he called softly, trying to shake him out of it without aggravating injury, all the while debating whether or not he should go get a doctor. "Leon, calm do-"
"Sophie..."
Yuri's breath caught.
Leon's voice was low and strained, a pleading murmur that exacerbated his aching heart, and Yuri found himself at a loss for words.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Leon.
Leon's head turned slightly, features drawn with need, and the blanket-covered hand beneath Yuri's twitched, as if reaching out for someone. "Sophie," he said again, now more of a call than a whisper, and Yuri felt shaky fingers try to scramble along his arm, weak and jerky but still ravenous in their search.
"Leon- Leon, stop-"
"Sophie!" The call was more insistent this time, Leon's fingers latching around his own and holding fast, Yuri's weak attempts to pull away accomplishing nothing.
"Don't... go..."
Yuri's heart trembled with regret. He opened his mouth to say something, he wasn't sure what, and any potential words died on his lips when he realized there was nothing to say. Who Leon wanted wasn't there, could never be there, because of him, and no comfort could be brought by his presence alone. Leon didn't want him. He wanted Sophie.
His speech sounded like a lie even to his own ears when he found the strength to speak, a horrible, cruel lie. "Yes, Leon. It's... Sophie. I won't go, I'll stay here, I'll-...stay here with you. I... promise."
And Yuri felt like the worst person in the world when his words had the desired affect. Leon's features smoothed over, pain and desperation receding, the grip on his hand not loosening but the coiled tension draining away. "Sophie," he whispered again, and Yuri tried (and failed) not to hate himself, "...you're all right. Thank God..."
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Leon. I would do anything to take it back. I wish more than anything I hadn't left her out there that night. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
But the star's next words stopped Yuri's self-loathing right in its tracks.
"Soph... a."
His eyes widened in disbelief.
"So...ra..."
Yuri would've drawn back in shock if Leon still didn't keep such a tight grip on his hand.
Sora?
"Sora..." he breathed, voice low and with a tenor of hope now, a light sounding hope Yuri didn't think he'd ever once heard from Leon before. "Don't... go..."
The pleading murmur was back, but this time, it didn't make him feel like he was being stabbed in the gut. A slow wonderment entered his heart, awe at hearing a name other than Sophie's pass his lips, hearing Leon call out for one other than his sister, an undeniable hope that the broken shards of a man he'd shattered so long ago were now being at last stitched back together again.
Yuri leaned closer, body trembling with relief and hope, the hand that Leon didn't cling to so tightly migrating up of its own accord to rest against his head. His fingers buried themselves in the sliver warmth while the thumb rotated slowly over the pristine white of gauze wrapped tight around his forehead, dotted scarlet in more places than one. He stroked through Leon's hair and felt his heart swell with hope, leaned down to press a kiss against his head, and wondered if this new feeling in his chest was absolution.
"I won't leave, Leon," Yuri promised, with far more fervor and far less heartbreak than before. "I won't. I promise."
Because this, this promise here, unlike the last- he could keep.
