Zimmeh Couture
(Translation: Zim gets popular)
It was a very peaceful day. Yes. Very peaceful. And calm. Until around 1:00 ish. That was the part of the day when all of the humans would line up and get their filthy Earth foods. I stared at the bologna sandwhich. I cringed at the thought of eating it... I hadnt forgotten what had happened last time... ugh... my amazing head had burned for many Earth days. So, back to the story, all of a sudden, some random person yelled out:
"FOOD FIGHT!" They threw all of the food around. Except for Jessica, Aki, Morna, Maddy, Mary, Poonchy, Rob, and Sarah, who were reading a fashion/pop magazine. I had learned well at the Irken military training planet, Devastus, and was able to dodge just about everything, until I backed up towards the Dib and he slapped the balogna over my head again.
"AAAAUUUUUGGGGHHH! IT BURNS!" I took a pork-cow er... muffin, and threw it at his head which stuck into his pointy hair. "HAVE SOME OF THIS!"
"What the? AK! What is it with you and muffins, Zim?"
"I dunno..."
Bitters walked into the lunchroom with a blowhorn.
"SILENCE!"
The lunchroom was now quiet.
"Very well. Now continue on withOUT a foodfight."
She sorta floated out of the room.
"Zim, I HATE YOU!" Dib yelled at me. "You ruin everything! I DONT CARE WHAT FANFICTION SAYS! THERE IS NO ROMANCE OR FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN US!"
"Your head is big."
"NO IT ISNT!"
"uh... Yah. It is."
"NO! STOP SAYING THAT! IT ISNT! IT JUST ISNT! IT ISNT! ITISNTITISNTITISNTITISNT!"
"I think I struck a nerve... heh heh."
"SHUT UP"
Aki's eyes widened as she picked up the magazine and stared at one of the articals while Dib and I continued fighting.
"Woah! Jess! Check this out!"
Jessica looked at the article and for the first time Ive ever seen her, her eyes opened and widened as well.
Dib looked at the article and his eyes widened too.
Everyone leaned over and their eyes widened. They looked at the magazine, then at me, who still had balogna on my head.
"What are you pitiful humans looking at?" I pointed at... them...
"See for yourself!" Rob said. He handed me the magazine.
Heres what it said:
Whats in this year!
Boots are hot! Especially black ones! BLACK IS THE NEW BLACK!
Gloves may be handy for winter, but they're also a fashion statement!
GREEN IS ALSO THE NEW BLACK!
Talking in third person is IN!
Reddish-Pink is in for clothing!
If you're skinny, then your IN!
BALOGNA IS A FASHION STATEMENT!
"This cant be right! That kid is not popular material!" Jessica sneered.
"BUT! THE MAGAZINE! IT SAID!"
"No! No way, just because this magazine says so, we're going to start worshipping some freak!" Jessica started. "I DO NOT APPROVE OF THIS!"
"Fine then we're kicking you out to make room for the new kid."
"But... Im the leader of this group and-"
"NO MORE. Come on Zim, lets go!" Morna said.
"Huh? What is this?" I said. They sat around me at the lunch table. It was creepy, yet entertaining...
"Yknow, the more popular you are, the less inhuman you seem."
LESS INHUMAN
LESS INHUMAN
LESS INHUMAN
The words echoed in my earholes. "YES! I AM NOT INHUMAN AT ALL!"
"HEY!" A random voice offscreen said. Skoodge walked in. "Im just like Zim! I get to be popular too right?"
"uh... no." Rob said.
"Why not?"
"The magazine says that you have to be skinny. But your a chunky monkey."
"MONKEY? I AM NOT A MONKEY! And I AM skinny!" Skoodge sucked in his belly which made his chest puff out a lot.
"..." Rob had no comment. He picked up Skoodge and put him in the rejects trash can in the back of the skool.
" WHAT? THE REJECTS?" He yelled. "I DEMAND A SECOND OPINION!"
Flan walked out and said: "no."
" I DEMAND A THIRD OPINION!" This time, no one came out.
"Dont worry, kid, we'll get'em next time." Gretta said from another rejects dumpster right next to his. It was full of other unpopular kids. (for those of u who dont know who Gretta is, she is the human with purple hair tied up in three stickup ponytails and she has huge braces and basically everything a nerd girl could ever have)
"...AHHH! ZIM! TAKE ME WITH YOU! TAKE ME WITH YOOOOOUUUU!" Skoodge bounced in his can towards the door back into the skool, but his face hit the door which was now closed and he fell down.
"...a little help? hello? HELLO? AUGH!" He yelled out. He was at the bottom and I was at the top. The VERY HIGH SUPIRIOR top.
End of chapter 1
SKOOL!
Zim: Hello and welcome to popularity klass.
Everyone: YAY!
Zim: I shall be your teacher and anyone who does not obey the teacher SHALL BE BOOTED OFF THE SHOW! So enjoy my klass.
Everyone: ...
Zim: Anyhow, we shall be looking at this!
(pulls out chart and it shows all of the klassmates lined up in order of popularity. Zim is on top and Skoodge is all the way at the bottom even lower than Gretta and Adam) (Ps: Adam is an OC. I just think that Adam is a cool nerd name.)
Zim: (pulls out pointer thingy) You see, here, at the top, that is where I am! And at the bottom... tut tut... Skoodge.
Skoodge: HEY! THAT IS SO NOT TRUE!
Zim: SECURITY!
Security: (drags Skoodge off the stage because hes too heavy to be picked up)
Zim: Skoodge... you were warned...
Skoodge: AAAAAHHHH!
