I Forgot Me.
Chapter 1.
Ok, ok, pelase be ok, ok... breath, head up, smile... try you've been practising should be good enough by now. Should I start to practise laughing? No. your really not there yet. So just be ok, ok?
And noone stopped me for the first time.
House. Its not home but im there now so i can cry. No triers? Thats ok they will come.
Going dark was a good idea noone bothers you if you look pissed or depressed.
A knock came from the front door.. great!
I walk over to open it, taking my time, hopefully whoever it is will leave me alone.
No suck luck. And of course it is him. "Helloo" a bit shaky but and reasonable start.
"hey" he says under his breath, he still hasnt looked up at me. He has brown hair, with a slight wave, in the perfect style that must mean he wakes up earler then most girls. His brown eyes are the same colour as his hair. he was meadium built and had as much as i could say a nice smile. Some would even call him hot. Not me though, ironic really.
He just stared at my shoes as if he was trying to undo the bows with his mind. I soon come to the conclusion that he hadnt made up his mind on what to say to me.
" Do you need somthing?" I tried to be nice without leading him on, but as soon as i saw his puppy dog eyes i knewn he wasnt going down without a fight.
"Yes I do need something. I need you." I rally couldnt handle this. "You know I can't even rember you name, I'm not her. Shes not me" I pleaded with him to try and understand, I felt the words sink in and the pain in his eyes were unbearble to see. Let along know i was causing suck pain. You see she I mean I an lost. Okay start over. I lost my merorry three mounths ago on the side of the brian that contains emotional memories, so I can write and I remmeber . But not her.I mean me. He, whoever he is, well he was her. I mean me. He was my boyfirend.
"You still you babe. Its just cause a few memorys, It dont mean your personalty gone Just give me a change i peomise you will love me agian." Once he got going he had to get it all out. I can tell he had thought alot about what he wanted to say, and something told me this is only the tip of the iceberg. The look on his face remeinded me of what i feel like when I work up the to ask someone somthing.
"I may be her, I mean me, or whatever,but it does change things and agian please tell me your name." i tryed to be soft be he needed to kn ow no was a solid no. He looked like a mixtrue of shocked, angery and most of all hurt. He and her were really close, going at it for almost a year Good for the fact that they where so young, I'm 15, 16 in January.
"Josh" "Okay Josh, so much has happend. all I can promise is that I'll think about it and talk to you when I have." I ended all conversation. "Goodbye."I added. "bye" He replid a bit late. I shut the door carefully so he didnt think I was rushing to get away like I I know what im doing in this places. It only took a few weeks to pic up on things that can get you outa shit. Please mind the language but its has been one hell of a hard day. See two people I didn't know, I mean SHE did But I mean did not. Well they came up to me asking questions about how I am and how things are going when I asked for their name they both looked so sad and hurt. They dashed away and tried to angnore because I'm not her, you know the me I was before the car crash. I someone eltes now, and they dont like that. This is why I'm going to have to let Josh down easy. she lov- I loved him. But not now. All that we- her before and me- have in common is art.
I head up the stairs and picked up my laptop, turn on, down to ? Nickellback. Start at the top. Paniting? No, not at the moment. out my room window I can see the opposite house. Nothing exciting.I live in a small town in England called Long Eaton, its 20 mintues in one direction to Derby, and 20 mintues in the other to Nottingham. I go to The Long Eaton School. I'm in year 11 I'm hopfully going to be leaving soon. And thats about all you need to know about me at the moment. I forgot something how ironic, my name. My names is Lexie. it means defander. Also ironic. I oucld tell you everything but you would get bored and it depressers me. So maybe later for now I feel like crying.
