"The Rather Shallow huge Life Adventure."
by Tom Greene.
Story by me, most characters by them.
If you have any criticism on this work, send it to ReLect0@aol.com. If you feel the need to flame this work, I got two words for you, SUCK IT!
Anything else? Oh, yeah. Don't do drugs. Unless it is for good reasons.Ah, screw that, Smoke crack and worship Satan.
Evan Henry picked up the phone. "Uddnnuddin?"
"Did you check Raw out, man?" Larry Marshall told his buddy.
"Of course. Raw Is War, coming to the Providence Civic Center, January 17!" Evan replied.
"So, are you getting tickets?"
"Well, probably not unless my parents pay for them. You know, that whole 'Those assholes fired me' thing."
"Do we even need the tickets? I'm down with Civic Center security. We can both get in and score all-access passes!"
"ZANG!" Larry hung up as Evan headed over to try and find the money for tickets.
That weekend, the two went over to the ticket offices. Evan was carrying a video camera. "Why are you carrying that?" Larry asked.
"You know. I figure that our lives could stand to work as a really low-budget independent film, thus getting me more of a level of money enough to not need to work and a level of prestige enough to ream those jerks who did me wrong." Evan replied.
"Cool. Well, we're next in line."
The two walked up in line to see the "SOLD OUT" sign.
"DAMMIT!" the two exclaimed.
"Well, not really. Just go to our bud, get the whole 50 foot enchilaaada." Larry replied.
Larry pulled out his cell phone and called up one of his pals. "Yo, dude!"
"What's on?"
"Nothing. We were locked out of tix and need to get in to Raw."
"You came to the right man, buds. Just name the amount of people."
"Oh, let's say 4 people, Complete Access, immediately."
"You're in. I'll let you know which side I'm working, you'll be there without a problem."
"Why'd you go for 4 people?" Evan asked.
"First off, if there's extra room we won't appear as suspicious to the management, and secondly, to account for both of us getting some ladies." Larry replied.
"Well, with my luck my only ladies will be right here." Evan said as he put up his hands.
"Come on, man, you can get women. You're smart, you're funny, you're somewhat handsome, and most importantly, you're close personal friends with Dr.Love."
"Yeah, but it would be somewhat easier if whenever I bring a girl to a school function SOMEBODY doesn't charm them away from me," Evan said.
"Listen man, that was only one time!" Larry replied.
"Well, okay."
"On that one, you're sure you're cool with me asking Christine to come with us, right?"
"Don't worry. I told you. I loved someone else all along."
"Oh, yes. This mythical 'Nadia' girl. Come on, just ask her out. It'll save me and the guys a lot of trouble."
"I don't know. It's just that she makes it impossible to be unhappy around her."
"That's a good thing, man!"
"Not when happiness eliminates the real me and brings forth the jerk inside of me."
"Dude, do it. Otherwise, we'll have to assume that she's as real as the women Licker claims he's slept with..."
"Oh, there's a difference. First off, I don't give guys women's names and act accordingly..."
"Well, has anyone seen her?"
"Um, Darcy got a good look at her at least once while going up there, but probably wouldn't recognize her in a lineup with Alf, Hillary Clinton and a Snapple Machine..."
"Dude, just do it. You'll feel better." Evan took his advice and left. He proceeded to the outer limits of Downcity Providence and made the call on his cell phone.
"Hello..."
"Um, is Nadia there?"
"Um, she can't come to the phone right now. Who is this?"
"Um, it's Evan. I'm an...old friend."
"Well, I'll tell her." Evan hung up the phone. Meanwhile, on the other line, Nadia had just gotten out of the shower.
"Did anyone call for me?" Nadia asked.
"This one dude. Evan something. Says you know him."
"Oh, Evan! I've been waiting for him to call me!" She proceeded to *69 the call. However, since Evan always turned his cell off after use, it went unfound. She tried taking his home phone number and calling home, but he hadn't gotten there yet and the people who he lived with were at bingo.
"WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME LIKE THAT? You know I like that guy!"
by Tom Greene.
Story by me, most characters by them.
If you have any criticism on this work, send it to ReLect0@aol.com. If you feel the need to flame this work, I got two words for you, SUCK IT!
Anything else? Oh, yeah. Don't do drugs. Unless it is for good reasons.Ah, screw that, Smoke crack and worship Satan.
Evan Henry picked up the phone. "Uddnnuddin?"
"Did you check Raw out, man?" Larry Marshall told his buddy.
"Of course. Raw Is War, coming to the Providence Civic Center, January 17!" Evan replied.
"So, are you getting tickets?"
"Well, probably not unless my parents pay for them. You know, that whole 'Those assholes fired me' thing."
"Do we even need the tickets? I'm down with Civic Center security. We can both get in and score all-access passes!"
"ZANG!" Larry hung up as Evan headed over to try and find the money for tickets.
That weekend, the two went over to the ticket offices. Evan was carrying a video camera. "Why are you carrying that?" Larry asked.
"You know. I figure that our lives could stand to work as a really low-budget independent film, thus getting me more of a level of money enough to not need to work and a level of prestige enough to ream those jerks who did me wrong." Evan replied.
"Cool. Well, we're next in line."
The two walked up in line to see the "SOLD OUT" sign.
"DAMMIT!" the two exclaimed.
"Well, not really. Just go to our bud, get the whole 50 foot enchilaaada." Larry replied.
Larry pulled out his cell phone and called up one of his pals. "Yo, dude!"
"What's on?"
"Nothing. We were locked out of tix and need to get in to Raw."
"You came to the right man, buds. Just name the amount of people."
"Oh, let's say 4 people, Complete Access, immediately."
"You're in. I'll let you know which side I'm working, you'll be there without a problem."
"Why'd you go for 4 people?" Evan asked.
"First off, if there's extra room we won't appear as suspicious to the management, and secondly, to account for both of us getting some ladies." Larry replied.
"Well, with my luck my only ladies will be right here." Evan said as he put up his hands.
"Come on, man, you can get women. You're smart, you're funny, you're somewhat handsome, and most importantly, you're close personal friends with Dr.Love."
"Yeah, but it would be somewhat easier if whenever I bring a girl to a school function SOMEBODY doesn't charm them away from me," Evan said.
"Listen man, that was only one time!" Larry replied.
"Well, okay."
"On that one, you're sure you're cool with me asking Christine to come with us, right?"
"Don't worry. I told you. I loved someone else all along."
"Oh, yes. This mythical 'Nadia' girl. Come on, just ask her out. It'll save me and the guys a lot of trouble."
"I don't know. It's just that she makes it impossible to be unhappy around her."
"That's a good thing, man!"
"Not when happiness eliminates the real me and brings forth the jerk inside of me."
"Dude, do it. Otherwise, we'll have to assume that she's as real as the women Licker claims he's slept with..."
"Oh, there's a difference. First off, I don't give guys women's names and act accordingly..."
"Well, has anyone seen her?"
"Um, Darcy got a good look at her at least once while going up there, but probably wouldn't recognize her in a lineup with Alf, Hillary Clinton and a Snapple Machine..."
"Dude, just do it. You'll feel better." Evan took his advice and left. He proceeded to the outer limits of Downcity Providence and made the call on his cell phone.
"Hello..."
"Um, is Nadia there?"
"Um, she can't come to the phone right now. Who is this?"
"Um, it's Evan. I'm an...old friend."
"Well, I'll tell her." Evan hung up the phone. Meanwhile, on the other line, Nadia had just gotten out of the shower.
"Did anyone call for me?" Nadia asked.
"This one dude. Evan something. Says you know him."
"Oh, Evan! I've been waiting for him to call me!" She proceeded to *69 the call. However, since Evan always turned his cell off after use, it went unfound. She tried taking his home phone number and calling home, but he hadn't gotten there yet and the people who he lived with were at bingo.
"WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME LIKE THAT? You know I like that guy!"
