Hello and welcome to a little bit of Lapidot hell! This was inspired by a dream I had (no shit, I swear) about Lapis and Peridot discovering porn (BOI). And with that said:

PROCEED WITH CAUTION: THIS FIC IS RATED M FOR 18 CONTENT THAT INCLUDES SEXUAL CONTENT AND/OR STRONG LANGUAGE.

Pure and simply, this is a LEMON, a hardcore lemon at that, so avert your eyes children!

Obviously I do not own Steven Universe, so all credits to Rebecca Sugar and the entire creative team, I'm just taking their show and writing gay porn for it, so yeah.

Please review if you enjoyed!

OoOoOoOoOo

It was a beautiful day at the barn, the type of day you wished would last forever. Autumn was just starting to roll in but the weather had remained pleasant as the spring had come to a close a few weeks ago. It still hadn't become too cold yet, chilly in the mornings but not cold, what Steven called 'hot chocolate' weather, whatever that might mean.

Peridot and Lapis were sitting beside each other in the half truck sticking out from the side of the barn that made their makeshift balcony.

Peridot sat on a green bean bag, her arms crossed against her chest. She tilted backwards, comfortable, one leg sitting up on top of the other. She was swaddled in a pumpkin themed sweater that Steven had knit for her, she felt cosy and warm. A content smile was touching her face.

Things had really been looking up for her lately.

Things had really been looking up for her since, well, since she'd accepted life on Earth.

Earth had been different and initially hard to become accustomed to, but it had been worth the effort, it had really worked out in the end.

Earth really was wonderful. Looking back Peridot couldn't imagine having not fled from Homeworld. Even disowning Yellow Diamond had been worth it, something Peridot once would've considered more a death sentence than ever being worthwhile.

Things had changed, she had changed.

Everything seemed beautiful, like looking through a rose tinted lens.

She had a home now, a real home, more than a home than she'd ever had back on Homeworld and she was accepted here, warts and all, or so she'd thought Steven had called it, free to be her own meepmorpy self.

She had friends, Amethyst, Garnet, Pearl, Steven.

And she had Lapis.

Lapis.

Of all things that had turned Peridot's entire world upside down, Lapis had been the biggest culprit.

Developing a crush on Lapis over the course of the past year had definitely not been apart of the plan.

But in hindsight, how couldn't it have happened?

Lapis had always been criminally beautiful, with her soft dark hair and her delicate features.

And that voice.

Peridot shivered.

It was in the little things, like the way her clothes hung of her slender but strong frame or how her skirt danced around her whenever she moved like, well, water.

The passion that touched her face and lit up her features whenever she started work on a new meepmorp.

The way her wings flowed from her back, so pale and beautiful.

The way she'd sometimes catch her eye from across the room whilst she was in the middle of mundane tasks and feel her chest flutter when she'd known she'd been looking first.

Yep, everything was looking up.

She peeked at Lapis.

Lapis was sitting beside her, her legs tucked away beneath her neatly. She appeared to be deep in thought, looking out beyond the balcony to their cornfields that dotted the green farm landscape.

Peridot's eyes traced her features slowly.

She could smell her from here, a mix of fabric softener and the ocean.

Lapis reached up an arm, rubbing her left shoulder in a gentle, circular motion, Peridot's eyes following the movement.

She wondered how her skin felt.

She blushed.

These feelings were different, strong in a way she found hard to define.

She felt for her like she felt for the crystal gems, like a friend, and like she felt for Steven, like she wanted to protect him, but with something much more.

Feelings that made her heart race and her stomach flop whenever Lapis smiled at her.

Feelings that made her want to cradle against her at night and feel the rise and fall of her chest against hers.

Feelings that made her want to do things to her.

Peridot's abdomen burned.

She gulped.

That had been happening a lot lately, these feelings weren't going away.

But things like what?

Peridot's mind raced at the possibilities.

"Peridot?"

Peridot started.

"Yes?" She replied hesitantly, pushing those thoughts away.

Lapis met her eyes and for an instant she prayed Lapis couldn't read minds.

But stars.

She had beautiful eyes.

"What's sex?"

Peridot blinked, breaking out of her trance.

"What's what?"

"What's sex?" repeated Lapis in her silky voice making Peridot's heart skip a beat.

"Oh! Sex?" Peridot laughed, relieved to have a distraction from her awkward feelings. "Well," She grinned, waving her hands. "I'm so glad you asked, Lapis! Sex is..."

Peridot trailed off, her pointer held up in the air.

Lapis nodded slowly. "Yes?"

Peridot's hand dropped into her lap. "Huh," said Peridot slowly, scratching her hair. "You know, I actually have no idea. "She turned towards Lapis. "I don't think I've heard about sex ever."

"Interesting," said Lapis quizzically into her hand, resting an elbow on her knee as she crossed her legs.

"Why do you ask?" Asked Peridot, also crossing her legs. "Where did you hear about sex?"

"Well," Lapis said. "It's just," she paused. "You know all those times we go down to the broad walk with Steven?"

Peridot nodded. "Uh huh?"

"It's just that, it seems to be a popular topic amongst humans. Especially amongst younger humans." Lapis brushed a stray blue hair behind her ear. "Younger humans talk about sex a lot, and I guess it's making me curious."

"Everything on earth is curious," Peridot laughed, rocking slightly forward. "But you know what, Lapis? If sex is an earth thing it's worth knowing about! After all," Peridot's eyes shimmered with a hue of excitement. "Earth is our home now, and it's our job to become experts on Earth and it's customs!" She chuckled. "Assuming sex is one of Earth's customs."

"But where can we find out what sex is if neither of us know what it is?" Pondered Lapis thoughtfully.

Peridot grinned and pulled out her laptop from under her bean bag. "Tada! The laptop can help us here."

Peridot pulled open the screen and drummed away at her keyboard.

"Give it a sec and... here! This webpage should supply us with the information we need!"

Peridot turned the laptop towards Lapis.

Lapis hummed, squinting at the tiny words that littered what Peridot had called the 'web page'.

"Venus?" She echoed, under her breath. "Isn't that where we sent the Rubies?"

"Neptune," Peridot corrected without taking her eyes away from the page. "And I think it's pronounced penis." Peridot frowned at the laptop screen. "Stars! The text is tiny."

She ran a finger over the mouse, scrolling down the page.

"Well, whatever a penis is, there is a lot of information on it and it came up immediately under the category 'sex', but I doubt our minimal knowledge on humans is really gonna help us here, assuming a penis is a human thing." Peridot said briskly.

"But what is a penis?" Lapis asked, her hands knotting in her lap.

Peridot shrugged. "How should I know? I've been on this what humans call a Wikipedia before but usually these 'articles' have pictures." Peridot frowned. "Wikipedia is actually meant to be informative but it's looking like it's failing to live up to it's purpose."

"Can't we just ask Steven?" Lapis suggested.

Peridot shook her head. "Steven's still trying to work out his magical destiny, I'm sure he doesn't need anything else on his mind right now." Peridot shrugged. "As for the others, Pearl is just as clueless, Garnet is always off doing her own thing and Amethyst can take anything you ask her and turn it into something-"

Peridot trailed off distastefully.

"Into what?" Asked Lapis.

"Something lewd." Peridot shuddered.

"Oh, okay," Lapis hummed thoughtfully, not too concerned with Amethyst when she had bigger things to worry about at hand. "Well, I'm guessing a penis must have a pretty important role in sex then, which might help us work out what sex actually is."

"That," Peridot paused. "That actually is a pretty logical conclusion."

Lapis thought. "Let's make sure. Can you type it into that thing?" She pointed at the top of the screen over Peridot's shoulder. "That thing we talked about that time?"

Peridot hesitated, a warmth filling her chest. "The search bar?"

Lapis nodded. "Yeah, can't you see images from there?"

Peridot's heart fluttered in her chest.

Some two human weeks ago Lapis had quizzed her about her laptop and Peridot had been happy to show her the ropes.

She'd remembered something she'd taught her.

Her.

Peridot.

And it was nice.

"Peridot?" Came Lapis' voice from behind her and Peridot felt a green blush rise to her cheeks.

Why yes!" She exclaimed a little too enthusiastically, clicking her mouse rapidly. "Great idea, Lapis!"

She pushed her slipping visor further up the bridge of her nose. "Going off the assumption that a penis is important in sex, let's start a square one in finding out what a penis actually is!"

She readied her fingers on the keyboard.

"Let's see!" She said, kind of mortified by how wobbly her voice sounded.

Only Lapis could make her like this.

"What about 'explain penis?'" Lapis offered.

"Hmmm," Peridot considered. "That might be a little vague. Ah! What about 'what is a penis'?"

Lapis nodded slowly. "Sure, that sounds about right."

"Excellent!" Peridot exclaimed, happy to have a distraction. "Let me see," she said as she started to type. "What...is...a...penis...?"

She hit enter.

And nothing happened.

"Oh brother," she groaned. "Slow internet connection."

"Is that a problem?" Lapis asked in a low voice.

Peridot waved a hand. "A minor inconvenience, just give it a moment."

"Oh," Lapis said with a tone of surprise. "Okay."

Peridot's heart melted.

Lapis was so cute.

Especially when she was confused.

Lapis' eyes met Peridot's.

Peridot was staring.

"What?" She asked softly, the smallest trace of a smile on her face.

Peridot should've been embarrassed, she really should've, but something just made this feel so...

Right.

Peridot smiled and she felt her heart smile with her. "Nothing," she chuckled, brushing her pale yellow fringe out of her eyes.

She looked deeply into Lapis' eyes.

"It's just that on earth it's something new everyday. It's nice is all, it's nice to discover it with you."

Peridot's heart thrummed in her chest.

Stars, did she really just say that?

She looked back to Lapis.

Her eyes were soft.

"It's nice to discover it with you too," she said quietly, breaking the eye contact and folding her arms in her lap.

She looked kind of... bashful?

Peridot felt all the heat rush to her cheeks.

Was she embarrassed?

Lapis knotted her fingers together. "It's less lonely," she said, squeezing her hands together lightly. "You know, having someone else."

Having someone else?

Lapis liked learning new things with her?

Peridot shivered in pleasure.

She felt so happy that her chest might explode.

She needed another distraction, quick.

Out the corner of her eye the webpage had almost loaded.

"Ah! It's working!"

Good timing.

"That didn't take long." Said Lapis her voice back to her usual tone, which Peridot couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed about.

But enough about that.

"This should clear things up for us!" Peridot said excitedly, unable to hide her enthusiasm. "So let's see here."

She clicked her mouse over the first blue hyperlink under what the humans called a Google, some kind of search engine Steven had explained to her.

"Isn't it great that humans have the internet so that they can WHAT IS THAT?!?"

The webpage had loaded.

Under the title Male Genetalia was a large picture of long, stiff, flesh coloured tube.

It didn't make any sense.

"Uh!" Lapis shuddered her hands flying to her shocked face, looking between her fingers at the screen.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF HOMEWORLD IS THAT?!?" Peridot shrieked, leaning as far away as she possibly could from the screen.

"Is it a medical condition of some kind?" Lapis groaned. "Humans can have biological problems, right?"

"Why is it all swollen like that?" Peridot gagged.

"Please tell me that's not actually a penis." Lapis begged. "It has to be an medical problem," she shivered. "I thought humans didn't come with purple skin? There's no way that thing is a penis, there's no way that's normal."

"The internet reckons it is." Peridot shivered. "And the internet can't be wrong, right?"

"I don't think I like penis, Peridot." Said Lapis, averting her eyes away from the screen.

Peridot clicked the 'back' button with vigour. "Me either."

"And we still haven't found out what sex actually is yet." Lapis sighed, running her fingers through her hair.

"You're not wrong there, sex is still a mystery." Replied Peridot, her eyes fixated on the Google home screen. "We're going to have to dig deeper."

"Hymn," Lapis hummed to herself after a brief moment of silence.

"What are you thinking?" Peridot asked.

Lapis looked at Peridot. "Do you think having a penis is a necessity in sex?" She chewed on her lip thoughtfully. "Like do you think that a penis always has to be involved to have sex?"

"Maybe we should find out." Peridot suggested. "It might get us closer to finding out what sex actually is."

Peridot clicked on the Google search bar.

"Do... you... need... a... penis... to... have... sex?" She said aloud to herself as she typed.

She hit enter.

"What's a dildo?" Lapis asked, her eyes fixed on the screen, reading the bottom of the page.

"Ha!" Exclaimed Peridot triumphantly, reading from the top of the page. "Look here! According to Yahoo Answers one does not always require a penis to have sex!"

"You don't need a penis to have sex?" Lapis echoed, sounding hopeful, forgetting about dildos.

Peridot shook her head. "Nope! Let's see here," she brought her face closer to the screen. "For some methods of masturbation and if you're a lesbian you don't need a penis to have sex," Peridot read out loud. "Whatever masturbation and lesbian means."

"What does lesbian mean?"

"I dunno, but let's go with that one, I like the way it sounds. Lesbian." Peridot whispered to herself. "It's got a nice ring to it."

"Try typing in "How does a lesbian have sex?" Lapis offered.

"Sure thing!" Peridot chirped. "How...do...lesbians...have...sex?" Peridot thought aloud. "And where to find it?" She added as an after thought.

She hit enter.

The page turned blank and started to load.

Lapis peered over Peridot's shoulder. "Are you getting anything?"

"Just a sec." Peridot muttered, trying her best to ignore Lapis' warm breath on her shoulder. She held up a finger. "Let it work it's magic."

The search results loaded and Peridot made a noise of approval.

She clicked on the first link returned from her search and started to read a lengthy passage from the newly loaded webpage.

"Lapis!" Peridot gasped excitedly. "Look!" She pointed at the screen. "It says here that lesbians can have sex in many different ways! And it's a great way to bond with someone!"

Bond with someone?

This could finally be Peridot's chance to get closer to Lapis!

A giddy smile stretched across her face.

"Really?" Lapis asked, unable to hide the relief in her voice.

Penis scared her.

"Uh huh!" Peridot gushed happily.

"So I guess that means that there are many different kinds of sex, huh?" Lapis pondered.

Peridot nodded rapidly. "It doesn't exactly tell us how but I guess so! But isn't this great?" She waggled a finger. "No penis!"

"Yeah!" Lapis chimed. "It still doesn't explain what lesbians are or what lesbian sex is though."

"True!" Peridot nodded, clicking at a hyperlink in the an entry under Best Answer. "But according to this website Reddit, that one of the users so kindly linked us to" she gestured to the page with an excited hand. "We can see what lesbian sex is supposed to look like on another website called Pornhub." Peridot peered at Lapis thoughtfully. "I mean, that we can agree on, right? If regular sex involves a penis then we want to be looking into what lesbian sex is, right?"

"Yes," Lapis said. "Lesbian sex can't be that different from whatever regular sex is, right?"

"I'd think not!" Peridot said with a grin. "To Pornhub we go!"

"What's a porn and what does it have to do with a hub?"

"I have no idea, but if it shows us what lesbian sex is then it's definitely worth having a look."

Peridot sucked in a deep breath.

This was it.

It was time to take a chance before she thought about it too much and chickened out.

"Listen, Lapis, if Yahoo Answers is right about sex being a bonding ritual and being closer to some one then..."

Lapis raised an eyebrow "Then what?" she echoed.

Go for it, Peridot thought urgently to herself, opportunity was staring her in the face.

"I would be glad..." She gulped, trying to steady her shaking voice, it wasn't easy talking to your crush ever. "If that someone I could try it with was y-you."

Stars, that sounded a lot better in her head.

Peridot didn't know what sex was but the notion of trying something new with Lapis was enough to make her head spin, whatever it was.

It was then that she became aware of an awfully long pause.

"I-I mean," Peridot started to rabble, desperate for the silence to be over. "C-considering sex is an Earth thing it's definitely something I wanna try and I-"

Lapis laughed and Peridot's stomach dropped to her gravity connecters.

"I-I mean," Peridot stuttered. "Only if you want to!" Backpedal, backpedal! Peridot thought dizzily to herself. "I dunno what I was saying, I mean, stars, why is this so hard?"

"Well, if you're keen too then sure," Lapis smiled at Peridot. "Lesbian sex is definitely something we can try together, I mean, Earth is still so new to me, discovering these kinds of things is important to our new life on Earth."

'Our new life on Earth'?

Peridot shivered.

"And besides," Lapis continued. "If I'm gonna try anything new, I'd rather it be with you."

Peridot gulped.

Lapis totally wanted to bond with her too!

Was it possible Lapis had a crush on her too?

That would be both terrifying and a dream come true.

Lapis winked. "Besides, someone's gotta be just as clueless as me so I don't look like a loser."

Peridot couldn't help but giggle at that, glad for the distraction from her whirling thoughts.

"Who are you calling a loser?" She chided playfully.

She really liked these moments between them.

And Lapis was so funny.

Lapis chuckled back and nodded at the laptop. "You gonna get that page thingy up?"

Peridot started, as if breaking from a trance.

"O-Oh!" Peridot gasped. "I MEAN YEAH, SURE!"

Stars, what was it with Lapis making her yell?

Peridot tapped away at the keyboard.

The page loaded a lot quicker this time.

She clicked on the suggested hyperlink titled-

"Blonde gets destroyed by Red head?" Lapis read. She frowned. "Peridot, do you think sex might have something to do with violence?"

To say Peridot's heart dropped out of her chest and onto the floor was an understatement, because that would mean that if sex was violent anything amazingly potentially romantic that had just transpired between her and Lapis was deemed completely invalid.

Peridot swallowed hard, trying to hide her crippling disappointment." I hope not." Peridot said more to herself than Lapis. She really hoped not, desperately hoped not. That would be crushing. "Let's check it out."

The homepage to Pornhub loaded, a blank black background with a tiny wall of text near the top.

Peridot frowned. "Where's the video?"

"What's a video?"

"It's like a moving image," Peridot mumbled into her hand. "You know, like Camp Pining Hearts." She moved the cursor over the white text. "It says here in the description that the video should be below." She highlighted the word video. "It'll show us what to do, like a tutorial, I guess."

"What's a tutorial?"

"Something that'll show us what to do." Peridot clarified and her heart fluttered.

Today she could possibly be having sex with Lapis which either meant she had a 50/50 chance of punching her in the face or actually doing something great with her.

"What's that noise?" Asked Lapis.

Peridot cocked her head to one side.

A tiny noise was emitting from her laptop.

She could just make it out.

"Uh! Oh yeah! Ooooh! Uhmmm!"

"What's that?" Lapis asked, scooting closer to Peridot to get a better look at the screen.

Peridot felt her breath catch in her throat, it was totally all over, those noises didn't sound good.

She tried to ignore her racing heart. "Looks like it's already started playing."

Lapis frowned. "That sounds like a person." She said. "Why's she making all that noise?"

Peridot scrolled down, also curious but miserable. "Give me a sec."

"Ohhhhh! Ahhhhhh! Uhhhhhh!"

Lapis frowned. "What's wrong with her?"

"Ohhhhhhhh! Noooooo, noooo!"

Lapis leaned in closer to the screen, her expression suddenly solemn. "Is she hurt?"

Peridot flinched.

Lapis sounded... genuinely worried.

What had she got them into?

All she'd wanted was some time to bond with Lapis.

"Maybe," Peridot said hesitantly. "It'd be better if we didn't find out." She finished quietly. But to her dismay, Lapis shook her head.

"We've come this far," she reasoned. "We can't back out now."

Peridot's trembling fingers found the mouse. "Then let's check it out." She said gently, supressing her own torment.

Why had she gotten them into this situation?

She hesitated before she continued her scrolling.

Was she potentially exposing Lapis to something horrible here?

She didn't want to see her hurt, that would be unforgivable.

She peered at Lapis out the corner of her eye worriedly as she gave a final roll of her finger.

The video rolled into view onto the screen.

Peridot felt her heart drop to her stomach.

Something wasn't right here.

There were two women, one with blonde hair and one with red hair sitting next to each other on a messy bed.

Naked.

Their fingers were wet and they were giggling.

"You wanna take it further?" The red drawled in a slow, musical voice.

"Mmm," The blonde hummed, reaching out her hand and slipping her fingers into the red's mouth. "You think you can make me moan, hun?"

The red haired woman sucked the blonde's fingers playfully. "I'll make you do more than moan, sweetie."

The two women laughed and the blonde rose to her knees, her back pointing towards the screen.

The red haired women giggled and fell flat on her back, licking her lips.

"I bet you taste good." She hummed seductively.

The blonde chuckled, kneeling over the red haired woman's torso, straddling her with her toned legs. "Want to find out?"

She crawled forward until she was kneeling directly above the red woman's face.

"Yes, maam." The red replied with a fire in her eyes, her gaze shifting to between the blonde's parted legs and started to kiss her inner thighs.

The blonde hummed, clearly enjoying the act, spreading her legs further.

The red haired woman smiled, flashing bleach-white perfectly straight teeth. "You have a pretty pussy." She whispered into the blonde's thigh, wet with her kisses.

The blonde hummed, running her long fingers through the red haired woman's curly hair. "Do you want to taste it?" She moaned, a small sound of pleasure escaping her parted lips as the woman beneath her planted another kiss between her legs. "Are you gonna eat my pretty pussy?"

The red giggled. "If it pleases you, darling."

The blonde woman hummed in approval, her hand disappearing between her legs.

The camera cut to her pussy, her slender fingers parting her labia, revealing wet pink skin.

"Don't stop till I'm screaming." She whispered as she lowered her abdomen onto the bottom woman's face.

The camera cut to the blonde woman's face, her delicate features scrunched up as she threw back her head.

Her pleasure was instant.

The wet sound of soft slurping accompanied her moans, the blonde bucked her hips hard.

"Fuck! Ahhhhn! Ooooo!" She cried out, her delicate features riddled with pleasure.

The red haired woman pulled away from the blonde's lap, a long trail of spit trailing from her tongue.

Her face was wet.

"You like that?" She chuckled, reaching a hand towards the blonde woman's lap.

The camera cut to between the blonde's legs as three of the red haired woman's fingers disappeared into the blonde's soaking centre.

The blonde reeled, a long moan tearing from her throat. She cried out as the red haired woman's fingers moved in and out of her centre. "Fuck! Fuck me! Uhhhhn!"

The red woman's hand increased in speed, her fingers thrusting in and out of her pussy.

"Shit! It feels so fucking good, yes!"

Peridot watched as the camera zoomed in on the red haired woman's fingers parting the blonde's lips and her running her tongue over her exposed swollen clit.

"Oh! Oh! OHHHHH! SHIT, MMMMN!" The blonde screamed as the Red woman's tongue disappeared between the blonde woman's folds. "PUT YOUR TONGUE IN ME, YES, YESSS!"

"Oh. My. Stars." Peridot heard herself say from a distance when at last words came to mind.

And that's all she could say.

Peridot and Lapis may not have understood the concept of 'sex' but they sure understood what a vagina, clit and touching of the genetalia meant.

And what someone's tongue and fingers inside someone else's vagina meant.

"Lapis! I-"

She turned to face her, but she was gone.

She heard the sound of the barn door clicking to a close beneath her.

OoOoOoOoOo

A/N: So after much thought I have decided to split this into two chapters because this story ended up a LOT longer than I initially planned (30 pages all together so far and this chapter is 16!) If you'd like to see what happens in Chapter 2, please send a review my way and we can go from there. Eternal gratitude to all my readers! Thank you so much ~ KennBoKenn.