Weiss's Midsummer Night's Dream

A/N: ^________________^ I knew that reading Shakey-Speare in class would be bad for my brain. Now I'm writin' a parody. This could be interestin', though... see, the funny thing is? This parody is of A Midsummer Night's Dream. The book we're reading in English is The Taming of the Shrew. Maybe I just read too much. Or maybe I've read too much Shakespeare. Anyways... yeah. Mebbe I'll even do a Taming of the Shrew parody if I have time. Who knows when I'll have to return the damned book? Not me... ya gots ta ask my English teacher 'bout that.

Disclaimer: I own my paperback copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream by William Shakespeare. That is all. I don't own any of the WK guys, even though I pine for Farf.... And my dog ate my copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream this morning. ;_______;

***** Prologue: Meet the Cast AND See the Reaction! *****

Dramatis Personae, also known as the Cast of Characters

THESEUS, Duke of Athens ~~~ Persia

EGEUS, father to Hermia ~~~ Masafumi (Takatori)

LYSANDER, young courtier in love with Hermia ~~~ Nagi

DEMETRIUS, young courtier in love with Hermia ~~~ Omi

PHILOSTRATE, master of the revels to Theseus ~~~ Momoe

QUINCE, a carpenter ~~~ Michiru

SNUG, a joiner ~~~ Reiji Takatori

BOTTOM, a weaver ~~~ Ran (Aya)

FLUTE, a bellows-mender ~~~ Aya-chan

SNOUT, a tinker ~~~ Ken

STARVELING, a tailor ~~~ Schoen

HIPPOLYTA, queen of the Amazons, betrothed to Theseus ~~~ Manx

HERMIA, daughter to Egeus, in love with Lysander ~~~ Tot

HELENA, in love with Demetrius ~~~ Ouka

OBERON, King of the fairies ~~~ Yoji

TITANIA, Queen of the fairies ~~~ Neu

PUCK, or Robin Goodfellow ~~~ Botan

PEASEBLOSSOM, fairy ~~~ Schuldig

COBWEB, fairy ~~~ Brad

MOTH, fairy ~~~ Birman

MUSTARDSEED, fairy ~~~ Farfarello (Farfie)



Other fairies who attend their King and Queen:

FAIRY ~~~ Sakura

FIRST FAIRY ~~~ Hirofumi (Takatori)

SECOND FAIRY ~~~ Hel

Lords and attendants on Theseus and Hippolyta:

Kase

Yuriko

*****

Aya: *reads the list and glowers* *whips out his katana* GANGSTA VIDEEEEEEEEEEEL!!! SHI-NEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Yoji: *looks at his part* *eyes turn into hearts* Asuuuuukaaaaaaaaaaa.... *reaches out for Neu*

Neu: O_O! *runs*

Persia: BWAHAHAHAHA!!! I RULE ALL OF ATHENS!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Manx: *scoots away from Persia* Eeew, I don't wanna be married to you... *scoots*

Tot: Tot loves her part! She gets to be in love with Nagi!

Schoen: I believe the word you're lookin' for is 'type-casting'.

Nagi: _

Schuldig: Why do I hafta be a fairy?

Gangsta Videl: You look the best in glitter and shiny clothes...

Birman: So why do I have to be a fairy too?

Gangsta Videl: There are, like, NINE FAIRIES, lady. The majority of yon cast is fairies. Go do the math.

Hel: .... why do I have to be here? You people all suck. *suddenly sees Masafumi* *drools* Masafumi-saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan....

Farfie: I LIKE being here.

All: O_O

Farfie: ^__^

Gangsta Videl: ^__^

Both: *dance around together*

Aya-chan: I don't mind. I like Shakespeare.

Aya: *scowls* *puts katana away* SHAKESPEARE IS A LITERARY GENIUS.

Ken: *laughs*

Aya: *glare*

Ken: O_O! *stops laughing*

Birman: Ick, why do I have to work with them? *points at Schu, Brad, and Farf*

Gangsta Videl: Yeah... I just thought it would be funny to see Brad prancing around in fairy's wings with Schu chasing after him. Farf... damn, who DOESN'T want to see Farf in spandex covered in glitter? *drools*

Chisha: *runs in* I THINK I'M GONNA PUKE! *runs out gagging*

Random OTHER Farf-haters: *gag and die*

Brad: I refuse to play a fairy.

Gangsta Videl: Well, you could always play Lysander to Schu's Hermia....

Brad: O___________________________o

Schuldig: ^____________________^

Brad: *suddenly has a random bout of precognition and sees himself playing Lysander with Schuldig as Hermia* NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I TAKE IT BACK! I WANT TO BE A FAIRY!!!!!

Farf: *grabs a dictionary* See, the funny thing is, Webster defines 'fairy' as 'homosexual being'....

Schuldig: *grins at Brad*

Brad: *banging his head on the wall* I. Hate. William. Shakespeare. And. Webster. *bangs head again*

Schuldig: *pouts* Ever'body's a critic...

Nagi: Tot... I really like you...

Tot: ^_^ Nagi, kawaii!

Nagi: No, Tot, I really, REALLY like you....

Tot: Tot likes Nagi too! ^_^

Nagi: ^o^

Brad: I think I may be sick...

Schuldig: I'LL NURSE YOU BACK TO HEALTH! *runs out of the room*

All: -______________-

Aya: Shi-ne.

Aya-chan: *makes a face and looks at her brother* Be nice, Ran-kun... pleeeeease? For me? *puppy-dog eyes*

Aya: *looks down* *eyes well up* *nods* All right, Aya-chan.

Aya-chan: ^o^

Aya: ^o^

All: O________O'''''

Aya: *glower*

All: *go back to what they usually do*

Aya: ^__________^

Ken: So... was this the first chapter?

Gangsta Videl: I think so. Keep in mind, I feel reeeeeeally bad for Ran when the third act comes up.

Brad: Why?

Gangsta Videl: Berrrrrrrrcause, um.... heandAya- chanwillhaftadoalovesceneandit'sgonnalooklikeincesteventhoughIhatethatshitbu tnobodyelsewould'vebeenabletodothelovescenewithAya- chanwithoutRankillingthemofffirsteventhoughIwould'veyelledathimbuthewouldn't caresoIhadtomakethemdoittogether.

Farfie: Wow. I understood that. I don't even hafta say it.

Nagi: We're well aware of how much that will hurt Him.

Tot: *pouts* When are Tot and Nagi going to star?

Hel: Act one. Scene one. Dammit, Lysander and Hermia are practically the stars!

Gangsta Videl: .... they ARE the stars. Or... two of the main seven, anyway.

Schoen: Who are the other five?

Omi: That's easy! The other five are Demetrius, Helena, Puck, Oberon and Titania!

Yoji: *still reaching for Neu* Asukaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....

Ouka: *reaches out for Omi* Omi-saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan....

Neu + Omi: *start crying* NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Gangsta Videl: --;; Looks like it's about time to start work on act one, scene one! *waves*

All: *wave reluctantly*

Schuldig: *runs back inside wearing a very tight, white nurse costume and, yes, he even has a big white hat with a red cross on it* LET SCHU-HONEY NURSE HIS BRADDY-BEAR!!

~*Fin*~