Twilight and all of its characters were created by Stephenie Meyer.

A/N:

If you're coming into this as a His Salvation fan, please note that this story will be a lot different and a lot darker. It's a couple of years in the future and a lot has happened in that time, most of which will unfold for us throughout this story. As I've warned before, it's the only way I could revisit this particular story. I am going to do my best to keep my characters true to themselves, as I think the characters are what everyone loved from His Salvation, but they have a lot to work through first, lol. However, as always I have a plan. ;o)

This is actually a sequel to my story His Salvation, but as that's a very long story and the first part of it kind of flounders, I have a hard time justifying making new readers go back and read it before coming here. So, although this will be written as a sequel it will also be written in a way that allows it to stand alone. There are a couple of years difference for the characters between the two stories, which help to make them separate stories. I honestly don't think anyone reading this who did not read the previous story will have a hard time keeping up - they'll be such different stories that it might actually be easier on you.

Having said that, here are a couple of things that new readers should know coming into this story, and past readers might need refreshing on. First, Edward and Alice are twins who were adopted by Esme and Carlisle - they have toned down versions of their powers. Emmett was adopted shortly after them. Rose and Jasper are brother and sister - their parents died and they went to live with Esme, who is their aunt, and Carlisle. And I think that brings us up to date with any pertinent information for this story. There might be some confusing areas in this first chapter, but they'll be confusing to everyone and not just new readers. Questions about the characters pasts and why everyone is where they're at will be answered throughout this story.

I'll try to keep future A/N sections short and sweet.

Thanks.

Bella: Phoenix, Arizona.

"Bella? Bella!"

"Oh my god, Emmett. I think she's…"

"Call 911, Rose! Hurry!"

"Come on, baby girl. Hold on for…can…please…"

"They're coming. Oh, god, Em. We should hav…"

"…we couldn't have known. She's like Edward, too good at hiding things."

"I have to call…"

"…wait till we're at the hospital, till we know more."

"Please, please, let them hurry."

"Come on Bells, don't do this to us. Don't leave us, baby girl..."

I was being pulled under, without hope. The tide was too strong and I knew instinctively that this was the end. My body would gasp for breath one last traitorous time, allowing the cold, dark waters that surrounded me to claim me as their own, forever more. Dispair and anger welled up inside me. Knowing this was going to be my final fate, a bitterness so strong overwhelmed me, so much so that I could almost taste it. Imagining my parents reaction upon hearing of my death, imagining their dispair, I knew for their sake I'd have to try one last desperate time.

The current drug me along, slamming my body into a large boulder on the river floor, causing a jolt of pain along my entire right side. The pain reminded me that I was still alive, still fighting. Using the last of my strength, I slammed my feet into the riverbed bellow me, pushing myself up with everything I had. Kicking ferociously, I swam up, desperately hoping I'd make the surface in time. But as my lungs screamed out their resistance, with the light from the surface still so far away, I knew I'd never make it. As my body began to convulse I cried out one last time knowing that the sound would never reach human ears. My mouth opened and I gasped as the cold water slid down my throat, and I knew death was coming for me.

As I began to lose consciousness I heard a noise that was incongruous with the violence of the river surrounding me. Over the noise of the waters rushing past me, and now through me, in me, a part of me, I could faintly make out a "beep...beep...beep" noise. I had only a half second to register this oddity before unconsciousness came, and death finally claimed me for her own.

I awoke, gasping for air, feeling as if I hadn't breathed in an eternity. Relief over finding myself alive was quickly replaced by the fear that I wouldn't be staying that way for long. Coughs racked my body, and I had just enough time to register that I had somehow found myself laying in a bed when I leaned over it and vomited all over the floor. Tears streamed down my face, both from fear and pain. My body, though alive, was in bad shape.

I felt a hand gently rub my back as a familiar voice made soothing noises from behind me, in what I knew was an attempt to calm me. My vomiting turned to dry heaves, which eventually let up. Slowly, I caught my breath again and opened my eyes. I looked down at the floor under the bed to see that I had vomited a dark gritty substance, and wondered if it had come from the river that had almost taken my life. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I was finally able to lean back and take in my surroundings.

It had been Rose's hand on my back, waiting patiently as I regained control over my body. "It's okay, Bella, we're here," she said soothingly, as she moved her hand from my back around to grasp my hand.

Behind her, standing silhouetted in front of a window across the room, stood Emmett, looking paler and more frightened than I'd ever seen. His eyes, normally full of laughter, looked haunted, and I could see he was having a hard time meeting my gaze.

I didn't bother talking, instead I took in the room around me. The beeping of the machines around me, the tubes hooked up to me, let me know without having to ask that I was in a hospital. I closed my eyes as panic set in, but forced it down as I asked the question I needed answered. "My parents," I croaked, my throat raw, feeling as if I had swallowed fire. "Did someone tell them I was rescued? That I didn't drown? Is Charlie here?"

A long, tense silence was all the answer I got. Confused, I opened my eyes to look over at Rose and Em, both of whom looked even more frightened now than they had a minute ago. "What's wrong," I asked. "Where are they?"

"Bella, what are you talking about?" Rose asked, hesitantly.

"My dad, Charlie... is he here? Did someone call my mom?" I repeated, not sure what was going on.

"Bells... your parents are dead, they have been for a while now... remember? And you didn't drown, baby girl, you tried to kill yourself. You swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills, right?" Emmett answered.

"What?" I asked, scared now and confused. "No, that's not right. I was... I was in a river and I was drowning. The water was crushing me and I didn't think I'd ever get out..." I trailed off, realizing I didn't actually know how I had managed to get out. And then it hit me, there had been no river, it had been dream, a nightmare, which meant...

"Oh, God. My parents are dead. I forgot that my parents are dead. How could I forget?" And just like that my world shattered again, as it had a million times over the past few years, as it forever would. My parents weren't here to comfort me because they couldn't be, they were both dead, and I was still alone.

Grief washed over me as the tears came. I knew how it had to look, crying like this when my parents had been dead for so long now, but I didn't care. The despair was too strong for me to fight. I rolled away from Rose and curled up in a ball, wrapping my body up with my arms as I tried to make myself as small as possible.

Rose climbed up onto the bed behind me, wrapping herself protectively around my body. Emmett came around to the other side of the bed, grabbing my hand before leaning over, touching his forehead to my own, stroking my hair gently as he did. "You're not alone, Bells. We're here for you. We'll always be here for you."

Through my tears I nodded my head, acknowledging his words. They were my family now, the only family I had left at this point. I was grateful for their presence in my life, even as the guilt of them being here with me overwhelmed me. As my tears began to fade I drifted off again into unconsciousness.

I slowly came awake again to voices talking in the room. I had no idea how long I'd been out for, but I felt sore and groggy, and I had to fight to maintain my precarious hold on consciousness. I laid there silently with my eyes close, just trying to get control over myself and absorb the situation. I could clearly hear Emmett's voice off in the corner, followed by Rose's and an unfamiliar voice. I gathered the third voice to be that of the doctor.

"Physically, she should be fine. You got to her in time to keep the medication she swallowed from damaging her organs, but someone from psych will be down to talk to her once she wakes up, and whether or not she'll be released will be dependent on how that goes. I'd expect her to be admitted for at least forty-eight hours, though, to be monitored," the voice belonging to the doctor said.

"What about after that?" Rose asked.

"It will depend on whether she's deemed a threat to herself. I'm sorry, that's all I can tell you at this point. Let one of the nurses know when she wakes and someone will be down from psych to review her file," the doctor answered before heading out the door, shutting it behind himself.

I didn't have the energy to deal with what I knew would most likely be an emotional scene upon my waking, so I laid there and continued to pretend I was still asleep. The numbness that had gone away in that brief moment before I remembered my parents death was back, settling over me like a heavy woolen blanket, ever weighing me down. The sadness had returned, my constant enemy. At least I was back in familiar territory.

I thought about having to spend the next forty-eight hours in this place and felt the panic welling up, but even that took too much energy to sustain, so instead I resigned myself to being stuck here for a while.

My hatred and fear of hospitals hadn't always been a problem for me. Once upon a time I'd even seen them as good places, places you would go to get healed. Not anymore. Too many bad things happened in my life within the walls of these so-called healing institutes. Now they just represented everything I hated about my life.

"What are we going to do?" Emmett whispered, obviously still unaware that I had woken up.

"I called Esme, she's flying out here tomorrow," Rose answered.

"And what does she think she can do that we haven't already tried?" There was just the faintest trace of bitterness in Emmett's voice as he spoke, and not for the first time I felt overwhelming guilt over what I'd put him and Rose through.

If I could just be normal again... why was that so much to ask? But no, I'd become this shell of a person, not quite living and unable to even find the energy to try. And as I sank under I had brought Emmett and Rose with me, the two people on this earth who I would do almost anything for, the only two people I had left to love. And instead of protecting them, as they deserved, I'd put them through hell.

I made a promise to myself that no matter what happened, that as soon as I got out of the hospital I'd remove myself from their lives. I wouldn't continue to hurt them like this. I wouldn't bring them down with me.

"I don't know, Em," Rose quietly answered Emmett's bitter question, "but we need help here. We're losing her, maybe we're even too late already. She's just wasting away here with us, and I think the only reason she waited this long to try something was for our sake. But we're not enough, and I'm not willing to let her go without trying everything in our power to help her, and I think Esme will know what to do. I think she'll know what Bella needs to be able to pull through this."

"We're not leaving her, though," Emmett replied, the vehemence in his voice catching me off guard. I would have thought that they'd be ready to rid their life of the problem that was me, but apparently not. They were too loyal for their own good. "Whatever happens, whatever Esme says, we're not leaving her."

"No, we're a family, a team, and that's not going to change anytime soon. We stick together, as we always do."

I was going to open my eyes and argue with them, to ask them how they could want to stick with me after everything I had put them through, but in the end I knew it would just be easier if I slipped quietly out of their lives. They'd never let me go on their own, it was time for me to forcefully remove myself. And as something close to determination settled over me, I drifted off to sleep again.

When I woke again it was to a soft hand stroking my hair. I knew without having to open my eyes that it wasn't Rose's this time. While Rose comforted when she thought I needed it, it was always somewhat hesitantly, as if she wasn't sure she was doing it right. This touch, however, felt different; confident and yet still very caring, and just like that recognition struck me.

"Esme," I whispered, before I could stop myself.

"I'm here, love. I'm here," she answered.

I opened my eyes to see her sitting on a chair next to the bed, leaning over me, her familiar smile subdued, but still there. I hadn't seen her in years, but she looked almost exactly the same. Maybe there were a few more lines around her eyes, but she still looked every bit as beautiful as she ever did.

I sat up, pulling away from her as I did and, with a sigh, she let me. I must have slept straight through the night right into the next afternoon sometime by the look of the light coming in through the window. We were alone in my room, and I wondered how she'd convinced Rose and Em to leave me, but was glad she had. They'd need a break from me, from this.

"How long have you been here?" I asked.

"We just got in about an hour ago."

"We?" I asked.

"Carlisle is with me."

I was surprised at that, having assumed he'd stay behind because of work. After a second of thought, I took this to be a good sign. If Carlisle was with her they wouldn't be staying long; he'd never be able to pull himself away from the hospital back home for more than a day or two on such short notice.

"Where is he?" I asked.

"Out speaking to your doctor, and probably trying to convince Rose and Emmett to go home and rest for a bit."

Again, the guilt rose up in me. Their life would have been so much better if I'd have managed to finish the job last night, like I had intended. Those damn pills hadn't worked fast enough; next time, though, I'd be better prepared.

"How are you feeling, Bella?"

"I'm fine," I lied. "It was just a stupid mistake, nothing to worry about and certainly not a big enough deal to have you fly all the way out here."

"Bella, Carlisle and I have had a long talk with Rose and Emmett and we know that you're far from fine right now, hun. I'm sorry, I know you're going to want to push this off as if it's no big deal, but it is. You're not fine, you need help, which is why we're here."

"Esme, no, it's really not a big deal. I just need some rest and I'll be back to my normal self again. Please, you and Carlisle should just go back home. I'd hate to see you stuck out here because of this."

"You are going to rest and you will be fine again, but it will be back home with us," she answered, and although her voice was a sweet as ever, I could hear the determination behind her words.

"Wait, what?" I asked, confused.

"It's already been settled. Carlisle talked to your doctors here and they've agreed to release you into our care. They'll still have to talk to you, but that's just a formality. We've already bought your plane ticket, you're going to fly home and stay with us for the summer and if you're doing better come fall, and up for it again, you can fly back out here in time for your senior year."

"No, I'm not flying back with you. Can you even make me do that? The doctors surely don't have that kind of control over my life," I said, panic washing over me now. I couldn't go back there, not now, not like this.

"We believe you need help, love, and we'll do what we have to to ensure that you receive that help." The way she said it sounded so final that I drooped back onto the bed, defeated.

"No," I lamely argued, "I... I'm not going, I'll..." But before I could come up with some argument as to why I wasn't going back with them the door opened and in walked Carlisle with what I assumed was my doctor.

Like Esme, Carlisle really hadn't changed over the years. He was still handsome, still had an open and honest face that made you feel as though you could trust him with your life. He walked right over to me, upon seeing that I was awake, and engulfed me in a big hug that reminded me of one of Emmett's bear hugs. "Hey. We were worried about you, kiddo. Glad to see you're okay," he whispered in my ear.

When he was done with the hug, he stepped back and out of the way of the doctor, a man who looked to be in his fifties, with sandy hair and a kind face. "Hello, Ms. Swan. I'm Dr. Richman. I was the one to admit you last night."

"Hi," I said awkwardly.

"You swallowed a bottle of Xanax last night, and we had to pump your stomach, as well as administer charcoal to you, just as a precautionary measure." So that was the dark gritty substance I had thrown up last night, I thought to myself.

"After talking with Dr. Cullen here, and his wife, we've decided to release you today. You'll still need a quick evaluation, but the Cullens have assured us that they'll be keeping an eye on you and making sure you seek treatment for your depression."

"But what if I don't want to go with them?" I asked. "I mean, they live in Washington. Wouldn't it be easier for me to get treatment here, in Phoenix?"

"We're not convinced, and neither are the doctors here, that left on your own you'll actually seek treatment, Bella," Esme answered.

"I'm not flying back there just on your say so," I said, with what determination I could muster.

"Then what about for our sake?" Came a quiet voice from the doorway, which I instantly recognized as Rose's. "Would you do it for us?" she asked again, the plea in her voice apparent.

"Rose," I hedged, looking over at her. But I could see tears in her eyes and I knew that for her and Em's sake I'd give in, even though I didn't want to. With a big sigh I shook my head in agreement, before looking away as my own tears spilled down my cheeks. Esme clasped my hand and I could hear the doctor messing with my what I assumed was my charts as he gathered himself up and left the room.

It seemed that, for better or worse, I was heading back to Forks, Washington; the one place I'd promised myself I'd never see again. I laid back down on the bed and stopped trying to fight the tears, allowing them to run unchecked down my face, mourning the life I that I'd almost had but lost, the life that I was now going to have to confront again. My only relief was that Edward was far away, living in New York City, where'd he'd be completely unaware of my sad return home.

A/N:

I'd love to hear what you thought of this first chapter, whether you followed His Salvation or are new to these characters. Thanks!

For those of you reading this at the end of His Salvation, the new story is up now. All further updates to it will take place there from now on.

Chapter 2 is already in the works.