And the disclaimer... Subaru and Seishirou are not mine, they are the property of Clamp, and probably some other people. I WISH they were mine, but sadly enough, it is not to be... Miaka and Tamahome aren't mine either, although I don't really want them. ^_^;; They belong to Watase Yuu and miscellaneous others. Don't sue me, you won't get anything out of it... ::looks at her empty wallet sadly::
The Man, however, IS mine. But you can take him. ^_^
-Madhatter
A Parody
by Madhatter and Genkibat
By day, Sakurazuka Seishirou is a mild mannered veterinarian. By night, he is... SUPER SAKURAZUKAMORI!
::insert cheesy theme song here::
Narrator (who disappears after this line): On one sunny afternoon, when the sakura were in bloom (of course), Seishirou was in his office, working on his newest patient... a cat who had ODed on catnip.
::suddenly, Seishirou raises his head, a vengeful gleam in his eye::
Seishirou: Someone pushed Subaru down on the street! ::picks up the cat and shoves it into a random cage::
Seishirou: I must go avenge him!
::Seishirou runs out of his office and into a nearby phonebooth. A few seconds later he emerges, looking... exactly the same. What, you actually thought SEISHIROU would wear a superhero outfit? Silly... he's too cool for Spandex.::
Seishirou: ::bounds down the street, while all the city's citizens ignore him for no reason:: Where is that scoundrel?!
Subaru: ::on the street:: Someone help me! That bad, evil, cruel, mean, icky, no good, corrupt fashion victim PUSHED ME DOWN! ::sob sob::
Man Who Pushed Subaru (AKA Sakura Cannon Fodder): Fashion victim?
Seishirou: ::bounds onto the scene:: Don't worry, Subaru! I'll save you! Just wait while I climb to the top of a lamppost or something so I can look really cool while saving you, okay?
Subaru: Okay.
Seishirou: ::climbs to the top of a nearby lamppost::
Man Who Pushed Subaru: Huh? ::totally confused::
Seishirou: You cannot push Subaru! He is MY prey! Now I shall teach you-
Subaru: ::interrupts him with a cute wave:: I love you, Sei-chan!
Seishirou: ...um... anyway. I'm gonna kill you now!
Man Who Pushed Subaru: What's going on?
Seishirou: ::kills the Man Who Pushed Subaru with his pretty magic and cherry blossoms and such, while the Man tries to figure out what's going on::
Subaru: Oh, Sei-chan, I don't think I can walk! ::faking it:: I must have broken my ankle or something! Carry me! ::holds out arms::
Seishirou: Sure, Subaru! ::picks him up:: Want to go to the park now, for the demanded Love Scene?
Subaru: Sure!
Man Who Pushed Subaru: What happened?
Seishirou: I killed you.
Man Who Pushed Subaru: ...oh.
::Seishirou and Subaru go to the park and Sei-chan sets Subaru down on a park bench by a beautiful sakura::
Subaru: Seishirou...
Seishirou: Subaru...
Subaru: Seishirou...
Seishirou: Subaru...
Tamahome: Miaka...
Miaka: Tamahome...
Seishirou: ::turns to look at them:: Get out of our series!
Miaka and Tamahome: Sheesh... ::disappear::
Subaru: ...
Seishirou: Oh no... did I ruin the mood?
Subaru: ::nod nod::
Seishirou: Hmm... what can we do about that... how about I just carry you off into the bushes and ravish you there?
Subaru: Sounds good to m--... wait... am I Tokyo Babylon Subaru or X Subaru?
Seishirou: ::after they ponder for a bit:: Oh well... we'll let the readers decide. ::picks up Subaru and carries him off into the bushes. Various sounds follow, until...::
Seishirou: Checkmate!
Subaru: Damn! You ALWAYS beat me in chess...
::both of them look up as they realize they're being watched::
Seishirou: Uh oh... they figured out we aren't screwing...
Subaru: ::to the readers:: Can't you see that we don't NEED that in our relationship? We have LOVE... or at least a really good illusion of it.
Seishirou: Yes... we're waiting until we get married. ::puts arm around Subaru's shoulder:: Let's go back to the apartment and play some more chess.
::they leave::
THE END
...::Hokuto runs in::
Hokuto: WAIT! I didn't even APPEAR in this!!
Authors: Well, we couldn't... we didn't know if this was X or Tokyo Babylon.
THE REAL END
