Heeeeyyyyy so this is fun! This was a collaboration with FanWriter83, so go check out her awesome profile and get the explanation for Selina's cats. Without further ado, here it is...

Bruce and Selina, sitting in the study eating their breakfast when Alfred walks inside with a very displeased look on his face. Alfred clears his throat to get their attention and it works. The children look up.

"Which one of your cats did this?" Alfred scowls angrily, holding up his torn pants for Selina to see. Selina and Bruce shared a questioned look. Just when Alfred was expecting to get no answer on the subject, like usual, Selina drops herself dramatically onto the floor.

"It was me, Alfred!" she says with a dramatic look on her face, throwing her arms up in surrender. Bruce looks with mouth dropped wide open. "I couldn't control myself, I had to do it!" Right on cue, Selina shifts herself onto her knees toward Alfred, sitting still in front of his feet. "What's wrong with me? Why do I keep I doing things like this? Why doesn't anyone do anything to stop me? Can't you just see this is a desperate cry for help?" burying her face into her hands and starts 'fake' sobbing.

Alfred stared at Bruce, who shrugged, and Alfred sighed. "Just don't do it again."

"No!" Selina yelled, trying to hold Alfred back. "I need help! I'm traumatized and I have no one to turn to! I grew up on the streets, assassins are after me, and I live with a kid who wears sweater vests!"

Alfred yelled, "Alright, what do you want?"

Selina stood up, immediately stopping her crying and beaming like the sun. "Me and Bruce want to go camping."

Alfred again stared at Bruce, who also smiled back. Selina grabbed Alfred's hand and tried to gain sympathy. "We're stuck in the mansion all day, we have nothing to do, we're bored out of our minds, We need fresh air! Maybe if you let us, we'll behave more?"

'Yeah right,' Alfred thinks to himself. 'You and behaving.' Alfred not intend to hide his suspiciousness under the tables, shoots his most suspicious look at the girl who's still is smiling like she had never done before.

For a moment he looks at Bruce, noticing the same eager sparkle in his eyes as in Selina's eyes and figures the girl might be right. Just this time. "Fine!" Alfred growls, freeing his hand from Selina's, noticing it's all sticky of the tons of jam she puts on her bread. He makes an attempt to clean it on his apron but fails. Alfred sighs. " And no tricks, miss, or else I kick you myself back to the streets. Assassins or not."

"Yes!" both children cheer excitedly, stuffing their faces with the rest of their breakfast and start running down the place like a pack of wild animals in order to find the Wayne's camping stuff. Alfred however, sighs again, wondering if he can turn back the clock to the day the useless detective brought the crazy girl into the manor. If he could, he would kick them both out no matter if it was against Bruce's will or not.

"I think my dad put the camping stuff in the attic years ago," Bruce says, climbing up the large staircase to the highest level of the manor. "It's lying there for years to dust. Don't really know why." Slowly he opens the door, turning on the light and that's when they notice why. The entire attack floor was rotten and a few wooden boards where missing. You could even see the room below. "Great!"

"Well, after you, kiddo," Selina screeches, cue mischievous smile on her face. "You're not scared, are you?"

Bruce stutters, "N-no, I just- I was worried about you…"

Selina laughs, "I'll be fine. Are you scared?"

"N-not at all."

Bruce makes it three steps in when Selina grabs his leg in the darkness and he screams, running downstairs faster than he ever ran before, and Selina doubles over laughing.

Sighing, Selina looked around the old dusty room. "That butler is terrible at his job," She thought, swabbing the dust off a table with her finger. She looked around, peering over a shelf and a swarm of bats flew at her, nearly taking her head off. Finally, she found the camping equipment and shook her head. Typical of the Wayne's to buy satin sleeping bags, an inflatable tent, and a portable cooker.

Selina sighed, poking the silk blankets with her finger and nudging the portable charger. "I can do much better."

To the shock of Alfred and the amusement of Bruce (Sitting on the couch and examining his leg for claw marks) Selina arrived through the door with her old ragged sleeping bags and sticks from the streets.

"Okay, newbies," Selina cries excitedly, tossing everything onto the cough beside Bruce, cue smirk over to Alfred when she hears him growl. "Satin sleeping bags? Please. Lucky for you guys, I brought my own stuff otherwise we wouldn't last for long in those woods."

Alfred, still looking horrified to the sleeping bags and sticks, wonders if it would be safe for Bruce to sleep in there. By the looks of it, it was covered with a dry red stain, which could be only one thing.

"Please tell me that's not blood," Alfred says and can't avoid the disgusted undertone in his voice. His face even turns more grossed when Selina licks at it, reassuring him it's just a spaghetti sauce stain. Bruce chuckles.

Alfred turns around and mutters; "If they don't invent a time machine in the next five minutes I'll invent one myself." and with that, the butler stomps over to the kitchen, wondering how much food he has to pack.

"So, how many sleeping bags do you got there?" Bruce asks, eyeing the dirty things beside him. Selina holds them all up to see. "Five? What about Bullock, Jim and Ed? I don't think they have own equipment."

"Don't worry," Selina says with a smile. "We can share." Bruce becomes all red in the face. "But for now, we're only with the three of us. Alfred can't know about the extra campers or else he will blow the whole thing off. We don't want that, do we?" Bruce shakes his head rapidly.