Math was never something I enjoyed, but routine is way too boring. I broke tradition and went to the auditorium instead of the nurse's office. The upper level is always empty so I decided to hang out there.

Let's have some fun; this beat is sick.

I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.

What the hell? Someone was singing.

Kurt was on the stage accompanied by only a CD player, blasting out the instrumental to Lady Gaga's "Lovegame." I've never seen him look so alive. It was almost like he was a completely different person. I mean, I've seen him dance before but that's in Glee and he always looks so arrogant and elegant at the same time. Thank God I decided to go up to the upper level. I was just out of sight of Kurt but I could see him just fine.

I wanna kiss you,
But if I do then I might miss you babe
It's complicated and stupid

Kurt looked so relaxed. He didn't even stop to fix his hair when his bangs began to fall out of place. I seriously never thought I would see the day that Kurt Hummel's hair fell out of place and he didn't care.

Got my ass squeezed by sexy cupid.

Guess he wants to play a love game, a love game.

This was nothing like Glee. This was Kurt, raw and unscripted. It was kinda hot. WAIT A MINUTE! Did I just think Kurt Hummel was hot?!?!! Holy hell. I'm not gay. A dude cannot be hot. Period. Damn.

Hold me and love me
Just want to touch you for a minute
Baby three seconds is enough for my heart to quit

I didn't know a guy could move like that. He looks like a girl. Wait... What is this song about anyways?

Let's have some fun,
This beat is sick
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick

It's kinda starting to sound like Kurt's singing about...

Don't think too much just bust that dick
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick

Sex. Kurt Hummel is singing about sex. Okay let's get this straight. I'm so obviously not gay. I've slept with almost all of the Cheerios and half of the mothers in this entire town. How else could I keep a pool cleaning business going in freaking Ohio?


Let's play a love game,
Play a love game
Do you want love or you want fame?
Are you in the game?
Dans le love game?

But honestly, watching Kurt dance like that is kinda turning me on. It must just be because you can't really tell he's a guy from up here. He sounds like a girl, kinda looks like a girl, is dancing like a stripper, has naturally red lips that I bet are really soft and really nice to ki – HEY! SNAP OUT OF IT!! Kurt Hummel is a GUY. Noah Puckerman is a stud. Noah Puckerman is NOT GAY.

Let's play a love game,
Play a love game
Do you want love or you want fame?
Are you in the game?
Dans le love game?

I can see you staring there from across the block with a smile on your mouth and your hand on your huh!

Oh my god. Kurt definitely just thrusted and and my dick definitely just got hard. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm a stud. I've slept with every MILF in like, the entire county. I should not, am not getting hard off a dude dancing provocatively.

The story of us it always starts the same with a boy and a girl and a huh and a game!
And a game
And a game
And a game
A love game!

Let's play a love game,
Play a love game
Do you want love or you want fame?
Are you in the game?
Dans le love game?

Holy hell. Mercedes just walked in. How can she be so cool with him dancing like that? She just hugged him and they're walking off like nothing happened. Just like Kurt mother fucking Hummel was snot just dancing like a fucking stripper and I was getting hard off watching him.

I need to prove that I'm not gay. There is only one way to do that. I need to seduce Kurt and get him to fall for me so that I can fuck him and totally realize that I'm straight as a fucking arrow.

Wait... Did I just say (in a roundabout way) that I wanted to fuck Kurt Hummel? Damn it. I'm straight. I'm straight. I'm straight. Drill it into your brain, Puckerman! Maybe I should have gone to math class after all.