WARNING: CHARACTERS, PLACES AND ITEMS FEATURED IN THIS FAN FIC ARE COPYRIGHTED TO THE PEOPLE WHO CREATED THEM. "KILL BILL" IS COPYRIGHTED TO MIRAMAX PICTURES AND A BAND APART ORIGINAL CHARACTERS WERE SPECIFICALLY CONSTRUCTED FOR THIS FAN FIC. SONG LYRICS FEATURED IN THIS FIC IS ALSO COPYRIGHTED TO THEIR MAKERS AND HOLDERS.
SPOILER WARNING: IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN "KILL BILL VOL.1" or "VOL. 2", PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS FIC.
This story is rated R for mature subject matter, violence, profanity and brief nudity.
A PDF version of this story, which will include pictures and another type of experience from the black and white text, will be available at my site soon. In order to read it, you must have Adobe Acrobat Reader
When someone is speaking in Japanese, you will see their dialogue "like this". Any other time you see text like so inside (), it represents sound. :)
Written in SHAW {SB} SCOPE
"Better to have loved and lost,
then to have never loved at all."
-Saint Augustine
"For ridiculing you earlier... I apologize."
FanFiction.net Presents
"Accepted."
A Band Apart/Kickbutt Fan Fic
"Ready?"
"Come on."
(CLING, CLING, SHING, SWOOP!)
"That really was a Hattori Hanzo sword."
"That was the last thing I said. It wasn't what I had hoped for in last words, if I must be frank about such a thing. Though I lay here now, the remains of my life slowly disappearing from me with each second, I at least had one last thing pass through my mind, other than the blade of the Hanzo sword that [BEEP] was using. Other than the fear of death, I had always wondered if my mother and father thought of me as they died. Even if that wasn't the case, there was someone I wanted to have as my last thought. Probably the only man I allowed close when it came to the matter of the heart, the one that I shouldn't have hurt. Just because I was a cold blooded killer, it didn't mean that I didn't know what love was."
("Nights in White Satin"
By The Moody Blues
Nights in white satin,
Never reaching the end,
Letters I've written,
Never meaning to send.
Beauty I'd always missed
With these eyes before,
Just what the truth is
I can't say anymore.
'Cause I love you,
Yes, I love you,
Oh, how, I love you.
Gazing at people,
Some hand in hand,
Just what I'm going through
They can't understand.
Some try to tell me
Thoughts they cannot defend,
Just what you want to be
You will be in the end,
And I love you,
Yes, I love you,
Oh, how, I love you.
Oh, how, I love you.
Nights in white satin,
Never reaching the end,
Letters I've written,
Never meaning to send.
Beauty I'd always missed
With these eyes before,
Just what the truth is
I can't say anymore.
'Cause I love you,
Yes, I love you,
Oh, how, I love you.
Oh, how, I love you.
'Cause I love you,
Yes, I love you,
Oh, how, I love you.
Oh, how, I love you.)
KILL BILL: LOVE AND LOSS
Starring:
Edward Norton as Greg Lowndes
Lucy Liu as O-Ren Ishii (aka Cottonmouth)
David Carridine as Bill
Uma Thurman as [BEEP] (aka The Bride, Black Mamba)
Vivica A. Fox as Vernita Green (aka Copperhead)
Michael Madson as Budd (aka Sidewinder)
Daryl Hannah as Elle Driver (aka California Mountain Snake)
Julia Dreyfus as Sofie Fatale
Chiaki Kuriyama as Gogo Yubari
Gordon Liu as Johnny Mo
Robert De Niro as Jeff Lowndes
Faye Dunaway as Ronda Lowndes
Quentin Tarantino as Lucas Lowndes
Eihi Shiina as Dr. Kiia Shibata
Based off the films "KILL BILL"
By Quentin Tarantino
Written by
Code Breaker
CHAPTER 1: The First Time
She awoke in the darkness of the morning. It had been another nightmare, like so many times before. The same nightmare of seeing her father killed by Bill's sword, the blood forming on the bed above her after her mother is killed... Though it had be a long time since it had happened, a long time since she got her revenge, she never really got over that one event at age nine. The nightmares had come back after her trip to the clinic a few days before. Maybe it was her mind's way of saying that what she had done was wrong, but then again, it never told her that before.
What made that one death different from all the others I had caused?
The green digital face of the clock read 4:23 a.m., it resting on the small nightstand next to the bed. She felt his arm draped over her waist, holding her gently close to him. She never wanted him to find out the truth about what she did for a living and what she had done two days earlier. O-Ren didn't want to wake him up, seeing that she knew that the long shifts he often worked wore him out.
At least he's resting peacefully, she thought, unlike me.
She carefully slipped out of bed, the cool air tickling her naked body as she moved out of the room. She moved her way through the dark, finally reaching the bathroom. She turned on the light, closing the door as she did so. She looked in the mirror, taking in every detail of her image. Her eyes, her hair, her nose... Everything seemed okay, for the time being, as it always had been.
Maybe I should grow my hair out. I haven't had long hair in such a long time.
She knelt down, reaching up under the porcelain sink to retrieve a pill bottle that she had hidden there. The doctor told her that she needed to take them to help fight off any infections that may occur post operation. Though thinking about growing out her hair, or about what her next task would be didn't take her mind off of that one moment two days before. She, being an assassin who has killed many, would have not felt any guilt over death. But why was this one lingering? Had it been because of how close the death was? Had it been the fact of it being inside of her instead of out in front of her? Or maybe it was the fact it wasn't just something she did to herself, but to her loved as well.
She opened the bottle, dumping two pills of antibiotics into her hand. She closed the bottle and stuck it back into the place under the sink. She turned on the water, popping the pills into her mouth. And with a mouth full of water, she swallowed them. She then splashed some water onto her face, just to see if she was able to feel it and that this was no extension of some sort of dream that she was having. She knew she was awake at that point. She exited out of the bathroom, shutting off the light.
Instead of returning to bed, she headed to the living room of their four room apartment. She took a seat on the couch, looking into the darkness of the room. She had lived in the apartment by herself for the longest time, Bill having to have pulled a few strings in order to get the best deal. A lot of people wondered one question: How could she have worked for Bill when he had participated in the death of her parents?
It had begun after the house burnt down, after she had made the oath to kill Boss Matsumoto. Bill had returned, finding her watching the place she had called home go up in flames. He had taken her to his place, an apartment that was completely black. He fed her by making a sandwich, using a knife to cut the crust.
"I am sorry that I had to burn down your home," he spoke as he made the sandwich, "It was the only thing I could think of to make Matsumoto think that you were dead, too, little one. But I promise you, that I will make up for the wrong I have done to you."
She never understood why Bill began to teach her how to kill, and why he had been so helpful in her plan to kill Boss Matsumoto, his employer. He had been the one to inform her that he was a pedophile, and also placed the katana and gun in the room hours before she was to arrive. She didn't have enough nerve at that age to ask, but she finally came out with the question when she hit 20 years.
"I'm a balanced man, my dear O-Ren," he explained, "Ever since I was I child, I would always do something good after doing something bad. For example, I would save a frog after killing a grasshopper. I always try to make up for things I've done bad. In your case, I am willing to help you out with anything you need me for, for as long as you live. I think I owe you that much
since I participated in the death of your parents, my way of making up for doing you wrong."
It made some sense to her, seeing how Bill was. At that point, Bill was already putting together the group, the D-Vas, the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad. Also, it was when she met [BEEP], Vernita, Elle and Budd for the first time. She came to realize that she and Elle were the only two who didn't have some kind of relationship with someone, seeing that [BEEP] was with Bill, Vernita had a surgeon she was engaged to and Budd was dating some sort of stripper named Rocket he met. Elle seemed to be attracted to Bill, but knew she couldn't be with Bill because of [BEEP]. Other than that, O-Ren didn't have much of anyone to be with or attracted to. She didn't mind living alone. Being alone was always the hardest thing to deal with.
Normally, she would just go to the second run movie theater on Montana Street, where they had hit movies for show for a dollar. However, that fateful day, October 4, 1996, lead her to a full house test screening of an independent film called "Bound", directed by these brothers called Wachowski. She had been handed a screening card, heading down the isle of the massive
theater. She had found one seat near the end of the far right side of the theater. And there he was, the man whom she would come to love, sitting quietly and waiting. That was the first time she saw him.
"Excuse me," she asked him, "Is this seat taken?"
He looked up at her, their eyes meeting each others. He was a slim man, wearing a gray polo shirt, a pair of blue jeans and Wolverine brand boots. He wasn't extremely hansom, but he was a bit more handsome in the same style as any middle class Joe, having to have worked to get where he is.
"Uh," he couldn't seem to find the right words, "Oh, yes, yes. The seat's open."
O-Ren took the seat, settling herself into it. She could sense him becoming uneasy. The shifting gave her the sense that he was often the shy type when it came to being near beautiful women.
"Thank you," she finally said.
"Oh, it's, ah, it's not a problem."
She stared ahead towards the screen, wondering what the film was about. She had also taken notice that he had begun to relax as he had been before. She never understood why some men felt unbalanced when it came to seeing or being near beautiful women. Though O-Ren knew that she was "pretty", she never really considered herself beautiful.
[BEEP], now she's beautiful, O-Ren thought, A Mona Lisa packing a high powered rifle under her dress.
"I wish they would just start this movie," she heard the man say; "I don't plan on spending one of my two free days in a theater."
She looked over at him, now seeming a bit curious about him.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
"I came to just see a movie," he said, "I thought they were going to be showing one of the "Blind Swordsman" films. I came in and found the theater as is."
"You were expecting a "Blind Swordsman" film too?" O-Ren asked, "I guess we have something in common."
He did have a small look of surprise on his face. He hadn't been expecting that kind of question.
"What's your name?" he asked.
"It's O-Ren Ishii. Do you have a name to, or are you playing hard to get?"
He chuckled lightly, O-Ren coming to the conclusion he was doing it as a way to release the tension he still had.
"Greg Lowndes," he replied, holding out his hand. She looked at it briefly before shaking it, taking notice of the smooth texture of his hand, much like how he probably would have with her.
"So," he tried to start small talk, "What do you do for a living, Miss Ishii?"
"I'm afraid that if I tell you, I'd be force to snap your neck in three different ways at once."
He chuckled again, thinking it must have been a joke. But it hadn't been a joke. Bill explained that when it came to being an assassin, you couldn't tell anyone about it, even people you trusted with your life.
"To be honest, that is really possible. I've seen multiple spine and bone fractures in one area before. I guess it comes with the job."
"What do you do?"
"Me? I'm a doctor, an M.D. I work at Mercy hospital, in the emergency room. And I also do
some volunteer work for the Red Cross and I am signed up with W.M.T.P."
"What is that?"
"You mean W.M.T.P.? It's the World Medical Transfer Program. It's sort of like an exchange program, where I get to go to different places in the world and interning in various foreign hospitals, as a means of teaching and learning. With as busy a schedule I have in the E.R., I haven't gone to check and see if there are any places available for internship. Hell, barely get much time to myself. So, I'm pretty much glad and lucky to get two days off."
She was becoming curious about Greg. He seemed to be nice and kind hearted. He seemed somewhat the opposite of her in some ways. He was willing to save lives while she was willing to take them.
"Seriously," Greg began, "If you don't want to tell me what you do for a living, I won't mind.
I'm just trying to kill some time."
O-Ren thought for a moment, and came up with the only answer she could.
"I deal with death."
"You deal with death? You mean, you work a funereal home?"
Greg's assumption gave her the perfect answer.
"Yes."
"Talk about polar opposites. I deal with saving lives and you deal with the lives lost."
"Yes. It's difficult preparing the dead before they are to be displayed."
She didn't know why she was adding the extra details to the lie, but it was better than telling him that she killed people for a living.
"I sure bet it is, particularly those that have the serious accidents that rip the body into pieces.
How can someone deal with that?"
"How do you deal with having to perform emergency operations in the E.R.?"
"With precision."
She just nodded, glad that he got the idea. He smiled lightly, understanding that he just answered his own question.
"And it doesn't get to you," he said, "I know some of the cases I handle don't get to me."
"Were you squeamish when it came to the site of blood?" O-Ren couldn't help but ask.
"Yeah, I was. But I sort of became desensitized to it after handling a lot of patients. However, there is one thing that still haunts me."
"What is it?"
He lightly bit his lower lip, trying to keep it in.
She knew he was holding back on something, what it was she didn't know.
"I don't want to talk about it," he said, "It's something in the past that I screwed up on. I
shouldn't freak you out over details."
He sort of sank in his seat a bit; apparently whatever it was that he was holding back had hit a
raw nerve. O-Ren wanted to know what it was. She had grown interested in this man who sat next to for no more than five minutes. She noticed a few people getting up in front of the screen, apparently the directors, and two actresses. She recognized both of the actresses from previous roles, Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly. She realized that the movie was about to start and that there wasn't more time to talk. She leaned over to him.
"I hope we can continue this conversation after the movie," she said, "That is if you don't mind."
He was a bit surprised. That may have been his first time a girl has "picked him up", at least that's what O-Ren thought from his reaction. At the time, she thought that he normally didn't go out to bars to pick girls up, but most likely had a small pornography collection hidden in his apartment.
"Sure," he replied, "I know this nice coffee shop. I go there sometimes on my lunch break. Do you want to take my car or yours?"
"Yours," she said, cracking a small smile, "I don't have a car. I have a motorcycle."
And that was the beginning. After the movie and filling out the information cards, they went and had coffee. Needless to say, she found out a lot more about him, but tried not to give too much away of herself. He talked about his parents who lived in San Francisco and his older brother who ran a hard to find video store. After chatting a bit more about life, politics and whatever topics she felt comfortable with, they had exchanged phone numbers. He had told her that he would call her the next day, which she thought was the typical male "I'll call you next week" type of response. She was surprised when he in fact called the next day. He sure didn't seem like the average guy, but she still found him interesting.
"What is it about him that you like?" Black Mamba herself asked, "Other than the sex?"
They were on their way to complete an assignment, both riding in [BEEP]'s '68 Cadillac Coupe De Ville convertible. "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood" by Santa Esmeralda played over the radio, the volume turned down low so that they could talk. As the year had passed, O-Ren had become good friends with Black Mamba, sharing thoughts and some personal information with her. It was almost like talking to a sister she never had.
"I don't know," O-Ren answered, "I mean, it's as if he always looks for the good things inside of a person. I've never had any kind of a relationship, but he doesn't mind if I am at all gaudy."
"That's a first, an average Joe catching the heart of an assassin."
"You and Bill are together. What makes you different?"
"Bill and I are both killers, Cottonmouth. But you and Greg are like death and life. And don't even mention Vernita and Dr. Bell, because he's cosmetic surgeon. And she's been lying to him too."
"He doesn't know I'm an assassin. He still thinks I work at a funeral home. And to be honest, I think he would be mad beyond belief if he discovered I was making dead bodies instead of preparing them."
"You never know."
They pulled into an alleyway after reading the ghetto area of the city, their target's location inside of an abandoned warehouse. [BEEP] popped the trunk open, various automatic weapons inside.
"Which one do you want? The M-16 or the AK-47?" Black Mamba asked.
"M-16," O-Ren replied, picking it up and pocketing a few clips for it.
Black Mamba chuckled at her as she pulled out an AK-47.
"AK-47," she said with a smile, "When you absolutely, positively have to kill ever motherfucker in the room, accept no substitute."
"You're beginning to sound like a gun runner," O-Ren replied, "So, how many in there?"
"Besides the target? Maybe four, five guards for each buyer. Plus there's four buyers."
"Are you kidding? That'd mean there'd be more than sixteen or twenty guards in there."
"I know. Hardly seems fair, does it?"
[BEEP] closed the trunk, both of them heading out towards the warehouse.
"By the way, Bill wants you to bring Greg to the Barbeque on Wednesday."
"Well, I'm not sure if Greg's on call that day or not. I'll check with him and get back to you on it."
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
O-Ren snapped back to the current timeframe, sitting in the darkness, the clock on the reading 4:27 a.m. She hadn't been no more than four minutes when she drifted off into thoughts and memories of the past. She also realized that she had been crying. She hadn't really cried since she was little.
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
O-Ren looked over at the small table that rested next to the couch, where they normally kept the remote for the TV. She had forgotten that she had left her pager there, but was glad enough to remember to put the beeper on vibrate. She turned on the light, looking at the number displayed. It was Bill. He had been extremely heartbroken since [BEEP] hadn't called in. The only time someone doesn't call in when they're scheduled to meant only one thing: they were never going to talk on a phone, unless it was from the afterlife. O-Ren had equally been sad at that time, but was slowly recovering. She picked up her cordless phone, dialing Bill's number. She had a feeling that Bill may have found out who killed her, and had decided to call in the remaining Vipers to avenge their fallen sister. She didn't wait long for Bill to pick up.
"I got your page," she said.
"O-Ren, I'm afraid I have some bad news," Bill said over the phone, "I should have sent you to handle Lisa Wong. At least I know that you would have gotten the job done and come home, like a good girl should. You know, it's scary betraying someone who loves you more than life itself, don't you? I mean, you and Greg have that understanding. But betraying people who love you is worst. One, one is easy to forget about. Five, is not."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm calling in the family for a task, my dear O-Ren. Be ready by seven o'clock. Make sure you've packed black clothing. We'll be attending a funeral."
"Who's funeral, Bill?"
"The funeral of one of the most deadliest women of the world. [BEEP], O-Ren. She's not dead."
(To Be Continued......)
