"Spoken"
"Signed"
Thoughts
CHAPTER 1
I glower at my own indecision, staring dejectedly at my email shining brightly on my laptop for the hundredth time, having only received the short two paragraphed message over a week ago. My Chill playlist on spotify sings softly on my computer, coaxing my mind to make a decision. I take in a large sigh, grab my blue wireless mouse and drag the arrow to the reply inbox, clicking the inside, allowing the typing signal to start blinking before me; the email now waiting for my fingers to start forming a reply.
I place my fingers above the keyboard and take a shaky breath willing for my laptop to just make the decision for me, but stare dishearteningly at the blank reply. As if my laptop could since my own indecision, spotify starts playing the song 'If Today Was Your Last Day' by Nickelback.
Alright! I get the message!
I glower one last time at my laptop and start typing my short reply. But upon hearing the jingling set of keys outside of my apartment's front door, I immediately slam close my laptop, quickly stand up, and briskly walk my way to the small kitchen.
Grabbing two Disney mugs out of the cupboard, I place them upon the kitchen counter and make to grab for some chamomile tea bags, from the top of the fridge, when a large force propels me to the side. My best friend clobbers me in a sideways suffocating hug.
I smile widely and awkwardly pat my hand upon Grace's firm, but sweaty hold, around my torso in greeting. She snuggles her damp hair into my neck and I shove her lightly away from me, and give her my best annoyed look, while wrinkling my nose to show my own displeasure of having her sweaty form all over me.
I raise my hands from my hips and sign to my best friend who I am considering revoking all sister rights from currently. "As much as I love the new look, you can keep that sweat suit of yours on yourself, thank you."
Grace bounces on her toes staving off the last of her adrenaline spike. Her pulled up blonde hair, glistening in the sunlight that's cascading through our slightly closed blinds. Her mossy green eyes gleam in humor, as she smiles wickedly my way. "What? I thought you said that you loved a good sweat, after a workout." Grace replies back in sign language with slightly shaky hands from her run.
I shake my head in humor and gaze at her once more, with an added raised left brow. "Yes. After a workout. After." Grace rolls her eyes shaking her head in light annoyance but smiles largely my way.
"How was your run?"
Grace smiles cheekily, "After my long morning of filing reports and answering all of those ridiculous patient cancellations, the run was fantastic."
I laugh lightly at her annoyed face as she thinks back to her long morning. "You should quit that horrid job then. All of that stress seems to be too much for you. Especially being around that handsome single doctor who works just a few feet away from you in his private office. I'd be bolting for a new job right now if I were you."
Grace just stares at me with large doe eyes in shock. "How did you know about-"
I cut her off with a mild concerned face and reply nonchalantly. "I did some light reading from your diary that you have hidden in your hope chest." I shrugged lightly in indifference. I try to keep a straight face, but watching the growing fumes behind her startling green eyes matching the pace of her clenching fists, a laugh bursts from my lungs, and I can no longer hold it in.
She looks to me with slight confusion, mixed with her own frustration and I fight hard not to roll my eyes at her. "I came to drop off your lunch last week remember? Dr. Strous and I met outside of the main office as I was on my way to your desk."
Grace's mouth forms into a small 'O' in remembrance gives a hesitant nod in acceptance, then looks at me with an apologetic face. I just wave her down before she makes a reply. "Go take a quick shower, I'm gonna make us some tea and heat up some leftovers."
Grace nods in acceptance and makes her way to her room, before she abruptly stops and looks to me in confusion. "How did you know I keep my diary in my Grandmother's Hope Chest?"
I just shrug my shoulders and turn back to our coffee mugs and reach once more for the tea bags. But before I could grab them, I am suddenly whacked upside the back of my head. I turn my gaze back to Grace's retreating form and chuckle at the sight of her glowering face as she stomps away towards her room. After ensuring that I would not get hit or clobbered for the third time as I reach for the tea bags, I make a start working on our tea and leftovers for the evening.
"You still have yet to reply?" Grace's rough voice echoes in our small apartment making me jump a good foot almost spilling water on the floor. I quickly drop my task on dinner and briskly sprint to the living room where I find the still sweaty Grace, sitting on the couch gazing at my now opened laptop.
I huff in slight irritation and march my way over to her, intent on stealing away my laptop from her lap, but she just leans away looking at me with that all knowing look that tends to get under my skin.
"Please give that to me Grace. It's nothing important." I spoke clear and at a steady pace knowing that Grace could read my lips, far too annoyed to sign with my shaky hands.
She scoffs at me, and slams my laptop shut, making me wince praying that she didn't crack my screen. Grace stands to face me, and I tense up in preparation for a lecture. "Not important enough to tell your best friend that your parents have offered you an amazing experience to work with them in Africa for the summer?" Grace signs rapidly with ferocity in her eyes.
I give her no reply, but force myself to keep my gaze on her, feeling my cheeks heat up in embarrassment. But that does not seem to slow Grace down. "Come on Farren, would you really think I would get upset or mad at the thought of you going? This is something that you have dreamed about, adventure, a new culture, a life away from this sad state of Indiana. Of course I would want you to go then stay cooped up here, picking up a mound full of shifts with your EMTs once school has ended."
I release a heavy sigh. "You're right. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I've just been hesitant on the whole idea and it's been ripping my mind apart. It's not just my dream, it's our dream. I just couldn't think of going anywhere without you. Which is why I haven't given a reply to my parents, or why I had not told you."
"But you want to go." I look at her, forcing my face to keep blank but I know she can read right through me. "If you want to go then tell me Farren!" Grace shouts allowed towards me allowing her rough voice to echo off the cool grey walls of our apartment.
"I want to go!" I shout back allowed. But shocked at my own outburst, I rip my eyes away and stare down to the ground, not wanting to see the hurt in her eyes.
All is silent for many long seconds and my heart pounds in shame.
Once again her rough voice fills the room, "Alright then. Let's go."
I whip my head up, confusion written all over my face as Grace immediately turns back to the couch and opens back up my laptop before typing in the messaging box. Before I can see her reply she immediately hits send and walks briskly to her room.
Bewildered at her actions I gaze down at my opened laptop sitting in the couch.
Mission Accomplished. We'll see you both in two weeks. Super excited!
-Grace
I gawk at the message and have to take many double takes. She knew about this the whole entire time? And she's coming with me?
Immediately, I hear a large thump outside of Grace's room and look up to find a large Blue duffle bag that peers to have already been well packed. I walk hesitantly towards her room and find her kneeling beside her bed, pulling another bag out from underneath. Once in hand she turns to me and smiles widely and throws the empty pink duffel my way, which I luckily catch at the last minute.
I gaze down at the bag and find my name stitched into the side of the bag, and can feel my mouth hang open in shock. My gaze returns to my best friend and soul sister, finding her standing before me with her hands on her hips cocked to the side. She smiles cheekily my way, then raises her hands once more in excitement.
"Well it's a good thing my packing is practically finished. Although for you, you definitely need some help. We are already behind schedule as is, but for now we are going out to do some shopping."
I spoke allowed as my hands were currently being deprived. "Shopping? For what?"
"Swimsuits of course!"
I roll my eyes at the sight of her energetic behavior, "I already have a swimsuit Grace."
"Yes, a swimsuit that is how old? Two, three years? You've lost quite a bit of weight and don't you want to show off that hot body of yours as your strutting it down the beach with me?" She waves her brows my way. "Besides, you've had that ragged one piece for way too long. It has got to go." She smiles coyly then looks slightly away as if feigning interest with the door. "Not that it hasn't already been thrown away."
I glower at her in frustration, and just march away not even bothering to look back, secretly ecstatic at the idea that Grace will be coming with me to Africa.
"I'm gonna shower real fast. Be ready to leave in fifteen minutes. Maybe dress like you're not heading to a geek convention!" Grace's scratchy voice reaches my ears as I march away. But I refuse to look back, knowing that I wouldn't be able to hold back the growing smile.
I shake my head in wonderment but continue on obediently to my room to change out of my Ghost Busters pj bottoms and my 'Wookie of the Year' Star Wars T-shirt. She just has no taste in the classics.
I walk to my dresser and pull out a pair of my well worn high waist jeggings, a white tank top and my favorite faded red plaid checkered button down shirt. I throw my attire of choice onto my messy bed and walk briskly into my tiny closet and pull out my best white kicks that have sadly seen better days, but I don't have the heart to get rid of quite yet. I turn to my reflection, the mirror hanging onto the back of my closet door.
My dark blue eyes shine brightly against the fluorescent lights above me and my medium pixie cut brown hair is lying in slight disarray, a look that I have grown to accept will be the inevitable. My olive toned skin is stark against my navy underwear and light grey sports bra. My right hand lightly grazes over the five inch long jagged scar that lays across my right hip hidden beneath my underwear.
I close my eyes and flashback to that day, years ago, and involuntarily flinch at the sudden sharp sting of where my scar now resides. It's been over seven years since then. I release a sigh and open my eyes once more to stare back at my own reflection, only to jump at the sight of Grace standing in my doorway.
"Oh shit! You scared me." I gave a light laugh and look to her with a cocked head in question, but Grace just stares dejectedly in the direction of my right hip. She takes a deep breath, looks back up to me and gives a light smile my way but that does not reach her eyes.
I try to keep my face neutral as I allow Grace's thoughts to pass, before looking to her with a cocked brow. "Have you come to dress me or shall I just help myself?"
Grace blinks rapidly, trying to register what I had just said, and I watch as the light returns back to her eyes. She smiles wickedly at me, "Well, as much as I know you need all the help you can get, I'll let you take on that job. I just came in to see if in fact you were just taking your leisure time. Which by the looks of it, you're doing just that."
I roll my eyes, and strut past her towards my bed, quickly pulling on my awaiting clothes. Once I have my white tee on and my plaid shirt tied around my waist, I quickly pull on my kicks to finish the look. After running my hands through my hair not bothering with looking at another mirror I make my way to my night stand, gathering up my keys and look back to Grace. "Walk or Drive?" I jingle my set of keys to my favorite Yellow Volkswagen The Thing, secretly hoping that she'll agree to allow Winnie out for a run.
She pursed her lips my way but shook her head softly with humor in her eyes. "Let's walk. It's a nice day and I need the cool down from my run earlier."
I over exaggerate my disappointment by slouching my shoulders and release a large huff before softly throwing the keys on my bed, but then turn to Grace with a large grin. "Want to grab a latte at the coffee house on the way?"
Grace releases a content sigh. "I thought you would never ask. Are you paying?"
I dramatically scoff at her as we make our way out of our small two bedroom apartment, Grace locking the door behind us. "I think not. You still owe me for throwing away my swimsuit."
Grace chuckles lightly, "Honey, that was a favor."
"For who?" I asked her baffled at her statement.
Grace just smiles cheekily my way. "For everyone."
I shove her lightly in slight annoyance but proceed to walk in step with her not even trying to fight the permanent smile on my own face. "Jerk."
"But you love me." Her eyes shine in humor.
"Not right now, I don't." I thrust my nose high in the air, but upon hearing Grace's snort of laughter I crack a smile of my own.
We make our way down the cement stairwell at the end of our apartment complex and continue our trek down to the main street of the busy city of Bloomington, Indiana. I turn to Grace with a coy smile playing on my lips. "So, when shall I expect to see the lovely Doctor on my doorstep?" Grace trips on her own feet and I struggle to keep my composure as I lift my left brow at her in question.
"I do not know what you are talking about." Grace's cheeks redden and she directs her face away from me to the small shops on the street.
I sign very slowly the word 'sure' and nod my head a few times excessively, knowing that she can see me in her peripheral. She scoffs loudly but makes no further comment, and I decide not to push my luck further.
We make our way to the four-way stop light and right before Grace makes to hit the pedestrian button, to allow us to walk across the street, I bolt forward and hit it, only milliseconds before her. I look to her slightly irritated face but smile broadly her way, before thrusting my right fist in the air.
"Does everything have to be a competition to you?" Grace signs with her hip cocked to the side.
"Do you even have to ask that question?" I bounce my brows her way and stick my tongue out playfully her way, which results to Grace sticking her own tongue back my way, and we both fall into a fit of giggles.
As we wait patiently for the busy street to halt in their course, my gaze glides over the growing number of people waiting to also cross the street. A woman in her early thirties smiles quickly my way startled as we make eye contact and she hurriedly looks away from us going back to her own conversation on her cell phone, softly rocking a stroller in her other hand forwards and back.
I chuckle softly at her attitude knowing that I had caught her staring at Grace and I, but don't find it the least bit offensive. I turn my gaze down to a little boy who's openly staring up at us with his hand in a tight grip on his mother's khaki pants. I wave softly to his little frame and watch as his bright curly blonde hair bounces in sunlight as he waves back our way.
Grace turns to look at who I'm waving at and smiles adoringly before crouching down to his level. The little boy looks up to Grace in open confusion but watches as Grace pulls up her sleeves to her jean jacket and shows both sides of her hands before reaching in her back pant pocket pulling out a silver dollar showing it to the little boy.
The little boys eyes grow wide in surprise and I notice many eyes are now on Grace's form, but she pays little attention to them putting her full focus on the little boy before her. In a quick sleight of hand Grace makes a show of placing the coin in her left hand, before snapping and opening her hand to a vanished coin. The little boy gasps aloud and looks up to his mother in shock before looking back to Grace. Many light chuckles can be heard around us and many smiles are planted on all of the fellow awaiting pedestrians.
Grace raises up one finger to signal him to wait before reaching over by the little boys left ear and pulls out the vanished silver dollar before his eyes. Many applause and light laughs surround Grace but she continues to give the child her full attention. The boy reaches to the back of his ear and feels for more coins but after finding none looks to Grace in wonder. Grace smiles her hundred watt smile and places the silver coin in his little hand.
The little boy jumps up and down in excitement and pulls at his mother's pants once more showing her his prize. The mother looks down at him adoringly, "That's very kind of her. What do you say to the nice lady?"
The little boy looks back up to Grace and smiles brightly holding the coin to his chest. "Thank you!" Grace smiles sweetly to him and gives him a wink before making to stand by my side.
I patted her shoulder in adoration."That was real sweet of you."
"What can I say, I am a sucker for kids." Her brows scrunch up slightly in thought, "Though, we should probably stop by the magic shop after we hit the mall. I am running low on stock on coins and desperately need to buy a new deck of cards. But for now let's focus on getting those lattes."
I nod in agreement as the traffic ahead finally stops and the running man sign lights up ahead. We start making our way across the large busy street being mindful of the beeping countdown. Many steps follow behind though a few men and women rush past us with briefcases in hand. Oh great it's rush hour.
Once we make it across the street I look to Grace in question. "So what shall it be, peppermint or vanilla lattes?"
Grace scoffs aloud, "It's like you don't even know me at all. I'm going for Hazelnut. You can get your-"
"Christopher!" I turn abruptly to the hysterical woman's voice and find the little boy from the other side of the street running into the main intersection chasing after his rolling silver dollar.
Without even giving a moment's thought my legs make a break for the little boy and I can hear Grace's feet right behind me. Off to the distance I can see cars racing across the paved road down our direction and I force my feet to go faster. My shoes burn against the black road and my hands make contact with the little timid child's frame, I grab him and make to run back to safety.
"Farren!" Grace's voice rings out my way and the little child in my arms cries out in fear. I turn my head and watch in horror as a large truck stomps on his breaks as the tires squeal out, burning on the road, attempting to stop. But at this speed it will surely be too late. I look back to Grace running towards me only thirty feet away and I throw the terrified child towards her, praying that she will catch him.
Immediately pain explodes against my right side and I can feel my body being lifted up into the air as my breath rushes out of my lungs. I close my eyes tightly as my body takes the impact and I roll up onto what feels to be the windshield. The world spins around me until everything stops and all goes still.
"Farren!" Grace's voice echoes around me and I try my best to open my eyes and find her, but it's like my whole body has been tied down underwater, unable to move, breathe or even think.
"Oh my God. Miss are you okay? Can you hear me?" A man's voice rings off into the distance, but the more I try to focus on the many voices, the farther and farther I seem to slip away.
"Someone call 9-"
"-got the police on the phone!"
"I am a nurse. I can help!"
"-the world happened?"
"Is the child okay?"
"Lord, please-"
"You sir-"
"Must not move her-"
"Everyone step-"
"- paramedics are on their way!"
"- you hear me? You need to-" Once again their voices echoes in and out around me. "-on the way. Just hold on."
"- her pulse."
"Farren!"
Grace?
My warrior, my little puppet of war. You will be the changing course of battle within this new world, and see life and death through my eyes. But fear not my dear child, for you will not go alone on this grand journey as a dear friend will accompany your side. But take heed with these last parting words. Not all battles are to be conquered. You will fail to many. But you must never stop fighting. For if you do, all that you love will be lost.
