Ibara, "Briar Rose"

Chapter One

Even after so many years, Rin's days with Sesshomaru-sama always began the same way. Just after the sun rose, she would delightedly prepare breakfast for herself, as well as a little something for Jaken-sama and A-Un. Though Jaken was usually disdainful of anything she gave him, he rarely objected to dried lizards or snails when she seasoned them a little. A-Un would eat anything, but liked raw frogs best.

Sesshomaru rarely ate more than once a day to begin with. He also always rose late, if he slept at all. When the mood struck him, he would frequently vanish all night and return the next day as if nothing had happened. Whenever he did this, Jaken would have some degree of a temper tantrum and often try to follow him, though he rarely seemed to catch up before Sesshomaru returned again. But in any case, eating together was usually a rare occurrence.

One morning, Rin found a pleasant patch of grass to eat her breakfast, and had already sat down before she noticed a presence there already. Leaning against a nearby tree, Sesshomaru was seated with his one hand resting on his knee, his eyes closed. A casual glance might lead one to think he was sleeping, although Rin was sure he was awake.

"Sesshomaru-sama," Rin said with a smile. "Will you join me for breakfast today?"

Sesshomaru reluctantly opened his eyes. His yellow, beast-like eyes fixed on Rin in the same way they always did, as if she were a tadpole in a pond; separate from his world, barely worthy of interest. Though lately his eyes often lingered on her, as if there was something yet about her that he did not understand. Rin thought that was strange; they'd already been together for close to ten years now. They might as well be family.

Sesshomaru's eyes flicked down to Rin's breakfast, a couple of onigiri and some pickled daikon. Rin was sure his eyes narrowed slightly with disdain. But then they glanced back up at her and became neutral again. He did not answer her question, merely watched her impassively as she stood up and moved over to sit beside him instead. He continued watching her as she ate, enjoying the scenery of the mountain where they had slept the previous night, just beginning to show the first tinges of spring.

"Rin," he said abruptly.

"Mm?" Rin asked, picking some rice off her face and licking it from her fingers.

Sesshomaru frowned at her. "Your smell…"

Rin blinked. She sniffed at her own kimono. "Do I smell bad? Should I go wash in the river?"

Sesshomaru glanced away with that same look of confusion he had shown recently. "I did not say it was bad. I was wondering why it was different."

"Different?"

Without replying, Sesshomaru simply stood and began to walk away.

"Wait, Sesshomaru-sama! If you're ready to leave, I'll go with you." Rin finished her last few bites of onigiri and jogged over to A-Un. "Come on, A-Un. Let's fly."

"Sesshomaru-sama! Rin! Wait for me!" cried Jaken, running to grab onto A-Un's leg as he took to the sky after Sesshomaru. Jaken scrambled onto A-Un's back and fussed for a time to find a comfortable seat. "Rin! This old kimono is so tattered, there are threads everywhere! How are humans always so unkempt?"

Rin blinked. She looked down at her own kimono and realized two things; firstly, she had outgrown it. It had been years since the hem had reached her ankles as it was meant to. Secondly, though she was conscientious about caring for her things, there were parts where it was worn thin that she could almost see daylight through it.

"Oh. Maybe that's what Sesshomaru-sama meant." She frowned, folding her arms as A-Un climbed higher into the sky, chasing the fluttering tail of Sesshomaru's fur. "Even so…I don't have any money. I can't get a new kimono."

"Lesser animals don't need clothing," Jaken grumbled behind her. "No one cares about your body, Rin."

"Really?" Rin wondered idly. "But won't my scent bother Sesshomaru-sama even more if I don't have clothes over it?"

"How should I know? Just don't bother Sesshomaru-sama with your nonsense."

"Hm…" Rin thought. "All right then."

Even though they were still in midair, she began to strip off her kimono. With only her shorts remaining, she folded her kimono in front of her, reluctant to throw it away as she wasn't sure whether she could find another one. In front of them, she saw Sesshomaru glance back and note what she had done, but not pause to observe her for very long.

Unfortunately, she had taken for granted how much difference even a threadbare kimono made in protecting her skin from the cold air rushing over it. By the time they finally stopped for water at a waterfall late that afternoon, she was shivering head to toe. Her skin felt burned by the wind. She even had trouble dismounting from A-Un.

"Rin? What's wrong with you?" asked Jaken.

Her teeth chattering, Rin struggled to reply, "C-c-cold."

"Hm. Troublesome creature. Here, I'll build a fire for you. You'd better say thank you." Jaken dismounted from A-Un and pointed his staff at a patch of grass. The staff roared out flames and lit a small fire there.

"Th-th-thank you, Jaken-sama," Rin said, as she got to a shaky stance on the ground.

She was about to sit down before the fire when her vision was blocked by Sesshomaru's armor. She looked up at him in surprise. He didn't normally stand this close, so it was the first time she noticed that she was almost as tall as his shoulders now. She couldn't help smiling a little at the thought that she might be closer to him, even in such a trivial way.

Suddenly, Sesshomaru's fur swept in front of her eyes. The next thing she knew, she was enveloped in warmth. She couldn't help an audible sigh at the pleasant feeling of being so warm and protected.

"Rin," said Sesshomaru darkly. "Where is your kimono?"

Rin blushed, not wanting to remind Sesshomaru that her scent had bothered him. "I put it in A-Un's saddle bags. I thought…maybe it smelled bad," she deflected a little.

Sesshomaru took this in impassively for a moment. Eventually he simply swept away without explanation. "Make do with that for now. Don't follow me."

"Ah! Sesshomaru-sama!" Rin cried after him.

"Sesshomaru-sama! Where might you be going?" Jaken asked worriedly.

"Look after Rin," Sesshomaru said simply, and took to the air so effortlessly as if the wind had been holding back all this time from embracing him. In moments, he was already out of sight over the top of the cliff they were standing under.

"What has come over Sesshomaru-sama?" Jaken asked with exasperation. "He's acting very oddly around you, Rin. Are you certain you didn't eat anything strange?"

Rin shook her head. "I can't think of anything..." she muttered, but in her heart she felt a twinge of pain. So it wasn't her imagination. Sesshomaru-sama was acting strangely around her. In reality, she had half suspected a day like this might someday come. She knew Sesshomaru hated humans. Even more than half-demons like his brother, whom he actively tried to kill every time he saw him. Rin didn't know exactly why Sesshomaru had been able to put up with her for so long, but she thought it might be because she was a child. Until recently, that is.

She clung tighter to Sesshomaru's fur as she examined her own mature body. Earlier this year, she had started bleeding once a month, something she knew would happen when she became old enough to have children. It was something she never wanted to do. After all the pain she had gone through after coming into this world with no one to care for her, she would never inflict that on anyone else. But whatever she might wish, her body betrayed the fact that she was now an adult. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe adult humans smelled differently, a smell Sesshomaru couldn't stand. But if so, what could she do?

Before she had even sat down, she tossed aside Sesshomaru-sama's fur. Jaken glanced up at her, frowning. "Rin?"

Without a word, she walked into the pool of water at the bottom of the waterfall.

"Oi, Rin! What are you doing?" Jaken demanded.

"Washing," she muttered, hoping she had kept the sound of crying from her voice.

But tears fell as she waded deeper into the icy water. She quickly splashed her face to hide the redness. If she couldn't find a solution, she would have to leave Sesshomaru-sama. And if that happened, then she couldn't think of any reason to keep living. She had no one in the world but him, Jaken and A-Un. More tears dripped down her face as she thought of how happy she had been just this morning, and how foolishly she thought these days would continue forever. She vigorously rubbed her body, trying to scrub away whatever made her human.

Just a few minutes in this freezing water made her whole body numb, and she had to get out. She wobbled on feet she couldn't feel and stumbled to the ground.

"Hey! Are you all right, Rin? You're ice cold!" Jaken said, running over to her.

"Still…smell human…" Rin mumbled, but she was finding it hard to stay awake. She felt uncomfortably warm even though she should feel freezing. She started both shivering and sweating, and felt her consciousness fading.

"Rin! Keep it together! If something happens to you, Sesshomaru-sama will eat me!" Jaken cried.

Rin slipped into a dreamless sleep for a time after that. When next she woke, she was again wrapped in that comforting warmth. And this time, she realized it was not just the fur. She was curled up in the circle of Sesshomaru's legs, his arm cradling her back. She looked up at him in surprise, thinking he would dislike being this close to anyone, especially a human.

"Sesshomaru-sama…" Rin tried to say, but her voice was raw. She set to coughing, her whole body feeling achy and hot.

Sesshomaru's hold tightened around her. He glared down at her. "Humans can die easily from cold," he said in a dark tone. "Yet you not only threw off my fur, you bathed in cold water without anything to warm yourself after. What were you thinking?"

Rin coughed again, guilty but too addle-headed to apologize properly. "I'm sorry…Sesshomaru-sama…"

"I didn't ask for an apology. I asked for an explanation."

Rin sniffed as she felt her eyes prickle with tears again. Though she would never normally be bold enough to do something so impudent, she pressed her head against Sesshomaru-sama's shoulder and immediately felt so comforted and happy to feel his warmth that she almost fell asleep.

"I don't want to leave you…Sesshomaru-sama…"

Sesshomaru seemed to watch her for some time. Eventually, she felt his hand reach up to gently stroke her hair. In his usual way, he said nothing. But as her eyes closed, even as a few tears dripped down her cheeks, and though her body still ached with a fever, Rin had never slept so comfortably in all her life.

The next time she woke, she was alone again, though still wrapped up in Sesshomaru-sama's fur. She realized she was in a cave. When she walked outside, she saw Sesshomaru standing at the edge of a cliff, the wind just lapping at the ends of his hair and robes, looking somehow even more beautiful and regal than she ever remembered seeing him before. Rin's heart ached whenever she saw him, she realized. What would she do if she had to leave him?

"Sesshomaru-sama…" she murmured.

He turned to see her. Without a change in his expression, he walked over and made sure his fur was wrapped well around her. Once again, he raised his hand to softly stroke her hair. Rin closed her eyes and wished he would hold her again.

Instead he said, "Rin. How old are you now?"

"I think…about eighteen, Sesshomaru-sama."

Sesshomaru took in a long breath and let it out, his gaze distant. "Only yesterday you were a child. Tomorrow you will be bones." He turned away from her and returned to his place standing on the edge of the cliff, looking out at a beautiful sunset over the distant hills. Despite his morbid words just now, Rin wanted to watch the beautiful sight with him. But then he said the words that broke her heart. "Rin. You would be happier to live with other humans."

Without even thinking, Rin blurted out firmly, "No."

Sesshomaru was silent at this, but he did not turn to face her.

"I could not be happier, because I am happiest by your side, Sesshomaru-sama," Rin told him with all her courage, though right now she felt her chest was cracked open. "I…I will leave…" she went on, her eyes welling up with tears. "…if you ask me to. Do you want me to go, Sesshomaru-sama?"

She honestly expected him to say "no." She would not have been brave enough to ask otherwise. Still, he would not turn to face her. The wind picked up and flicked his hair gently to this side and that. His figure in the sunset was so beautiful, it made the thought of leaving him carve indelible pain to the deepest part of Rin's soul.

Softly he said, "Do not force me to say unpleasant things."

Shock ran down Rin's body. Perhaps if she had not been weakened by her recent illness, and by the fear of losing him, she might have had more confidence in herself. But all she could hear in his softly spoken words was a request for her to figure it out on her own: that he couldn't stand her anymore, but didn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her.

"You may keep the fur, but you cannot go into a human village so poorly dressed. I obtained a new kimono for you," Sesshomaru said, and Rin noticed the folded garment resting on a boulder nearby. "Take it on your way."

Rin could not move for a few moments. The blood running through her veins felt much colder now than it had when she had been submerged in freezing water. The front of her head felt oddly stiff and heavy, and for a moment she wondered whether it was actually her inside her body. Did it matter anymore? Did her existence mean anything without Sesshomaru-sama in it?

But even in her despair, she couldn't disobey him. She walked numbly over to the kimono. It was a bright blue and yellow pattern with red birds, and was very much her taste. She was about to take it when Sesshomaru-sama's fur rustled against her cheek as she moved. Her eyes stung. He had said she could take it, but that would not do. Though she feared she would regret it for the rest of her life, to be left without even a trace of him, she slowly pulled the blissfully comforting fur from around her shoulders.

She held it in her arms for a time, unsure what to do next. Though she feared her scent might make him angry, she couldn't help but clasp the fur tightly for a moment, burying her face in it as if it were Sesshomaru-sama himself. She sobbed softly for a moment, trying to remember his warmth and scent.

She thought about placing it on his shoulder for him, but feared he would be angry or disgusted by her scent if she came too close. Even her own thought made pain shatter through her chest. She folded the fur and placed it on the boulder as she picked up the kimono. She didn't want to take this either, but he had asked her to. She clutched it to her and ran away from him without another thought or moment to lose her nerve.

She sobbed loudly as she ran, and eventually stopped and crumpled to the forest floor. She howled with pain, squeezing the kimono tightly, hoping with desperation that this would all turn out to be just a dream. Her mind raced, trying to think of what she should do now. But in the end, she couldn't bring herself to do anything. Without even putting it on, she curled up in the dirt, clutching the kimono to her chest, crying until she was tired. Part of her wished she would fall asleep there and never wake up. But then all of Sesshomaru's efforts to keep her alive would have been in vain. What could she do now?

It was as she lay like this, unable to move from pain, that a foul presence began to infiltrate the air around her. She knew it was a demon miasma, and that she needed to get away, but she couldn't move. She continued sobbing, pressing the kimono to her face.

A wild boar demon stomped closer and roared as it saw her. It charged. That was it; she could not get away now if she wanted to.

"Rin."

She could swear she heard Sesshomaru call her name. She opened her eyes. A flash of white, a slash of claws, and suddenly the boar demon split open in a rain of blood. It collapsed, dead before it hit the ground. Rin watched with hope against hope that it might be Sesshomaru-sama. But the yellow eyes that turned to meet hers were not cold and distant, but fiery and bright. And the kimono beneath them was that distinctive red that she had seen many times now.

"Eh? Sesshomaru's…oh, you're not dressed," said Inuyasha awkwardly, turning away with a slight redness in his cheeks.

"Was I right, Inuyasha? Was in Rin-chan?"

The voice of Inuyasha's lover, Kagome, preceded her arrival. She came running into the glade, wearing her typical strange clothes and carrying her bow and arrows. It took her a moment to spot Rin on the ground. When she did, she gasped in horror.

"Rin-chan! What's the matter? Did something happen to you? Oh well…why are you just holding this? Put it on, you're so cold!"

As Rin sobbed, Kagome helped her to put on the kimono that Sesshomaru had given her. Rin looked at it and was forced once again to despair at never seeing him again. She sobbed into her sleeve.

"Kagome-sama," she whimpered.

"You poor thing, what's wrong?"

"Sesshomaru-sama…told me to leave…"

There was a moment of silence as the other two tried to comprehend this.

"Hah?" Inuyasha blurted out, clearly unable to read the mood. "You're joking. He literally went to hell and back for you."

"Inuyasha, develop some tact," Kagome said bluntly.

"No I'm right this time. Trust me. Sesshomaru sees the whole universe in black and white, pleasant and unpleasant. He does not change his mind. You and that little lizard are on his 'good' column, for sure."

Kagome let out an exhausted sigh. "There's obviously something more going on. Rin-chan? Why don't you come home with us for tonight. There are demons all over this mountain and you're in no state to defend yourself."

Though Rin was still having trouble reasoning how her meager life might be worth protecting without Sesshomaru in it, she meekly nodded and allowed Kagome to lead her out of the forest.

High above, where he had observed this interaction from A-Un's back, Sesshomaru sheathed Bakusaiga.

"Dangerous creature," he murmured to himself. "You are not satisfied by simply tempting me into the pain and sins of my father, you must punish me for trying to avoid them too?"

Even if Rin had been able to hear this plaintive criticism, she would not have understood it.